Author Archives: Victoria Talwar



Ok, so I know I have been blogging about embarking on the wonderful journey of explaining money and budgeting to my kids. Well, turns out, it isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. It Is so hard to teach kids about budgeting when they have a very, very simplistic view of money.

Before you roll your eyes and say ‘I told you so!’, let me just say that I haven’t given up on this project.  In fact, I enlisted the help of my mommy friends (who also happen to be Psychology majors) to give me some tips and ideas about how to do this without breaking my brain.  Here is what I have come up with:  THE PIGGY BANK SAGA.

Ok, I know. You are probably saying ‘but the piggy bank is old news’.  Well, there is a lot of value in things that have lasted decades, and this little object is one such thing.

Some background to the idea behind the pig:

Turns out, the piggy bank has been in existence for apparently 4000 years and way before money saving websites like LoveMoney.com! Way back when, when every object was made of clay, jars were created to store money. These were called “pygg jars”, ‘pygg’ here referring to the kind of clay used to make the jar.  By the 18th century, this object began to take the shape of its animal namesake and was made from plastic, plaster, or glass.   Another explanation states that, based on German folklore, a pig is a symbol of good fortune, therefore a vessel for money in the shape of a pig means more wealth or coming wealth.  Whichever history you believe, today the piggy bank is defined by Wikipedia as:

Piggy bank (sometimes penny bank or money box) is the traditional name of a coin accumulation and storage receptacle; it is most often, but not exclusively, used by children.

Here is a picture of a piggy bank (c’mon, humor me here).

Ok, so here is the idea. Take the generic piggy bank and have one for saving, spending, and donating.  First of course, you need to define the terms. I use the most simplistic explanations so I would say something like saving is when we keep the money so that we will have enough to buy ‘x’ item.  Thankfully my son and daughter know the word ‘buy’ so I don’t need to explain that term anymore. Donating would be giving and spending is using the money to buy ‘x,y,z’ items. Or someting along those lines, you get my drift.

I am thinking, and my mommy-psych major friends agree with me, that this will teach the kids the following things without the trauma of deprivation.

  • One, it will give them the idea that there are different actions connected to money.
  • The general idea behind saving, spending, and donating.
  • The value of patience.
  • The value of waiting for something.
  • The value of effort for something desired.

Doesn’t it sound like a marvelous idea?  It is so great when you can teach so many lessons with one simple thing.  It is really easy to start on this project. The materials you will be needing are very inexpensive.  All you need are three piggy banks, or one that has segregations.  If you want to use separate piggy banks, getting the ones with see-through body is best as it give a visual picture of the theory/lesson/activity.  See the pictures below:

Since the concept here is teaching about money and budgeting, you don’t really HAVE TO stick to the traditional piggy bank (although there are a lot of really cute ones for boys and girls these days).  You can opt for other money carrying objects:

It does not really matter what you use, as long as you get the point of the exercise across.

Now, you also don’t have to go out and buy any kind of money saving vessel.  You can use any old jar, tin, or container.  A lot of my friends save the pretty seasonal tins for tea and use those for odds and ends.  That would be perfect for this project.  Similarly, you can use any mayo jar or cheese spread jar, create a slot for the coins and bills, and you have your pot! A suggestion to get the kids excited is to have them decorate their piggy banks. I know the idea of arts and crafts really gets my kinds excited and quite dedicated.

So, I hope you see some merit in this simple money-saving lesson plan.

Have fun!

Vicki

If you are anything like me then you would be something like a Schizophrenic when Christmas time comes around. What do I mean?  Well, I love Christmas. I love the lights, décor, smells, songs, weather, fashion, everything.  But I despise the weight gain that seems to be automatically attached to the season.  So I spend quite a bit of time enjoying myself immensely and then bemoaning my waistline soon after.  What makes it worse is that there are also tummy issues to deal with after!

Well, I want to get out of this rut.  I want to enjoy everything I love about the season and not have to suffer during the first few weeks of the New Year.  So here are some things I have started to do this month.

  • I’ve gotten into the habit of drinking more water than I usually do.  Since I am not a soda fan at all and I don’t really drink alcohol that much, my beverages are limited to water and juices already.  I only drink freshly squeezed or made juices (no powder or concentrates) and lots of water.  Water helps naturally flush out toxins, it helps with constipation, it keeps the skin young as well, and it helps you eat less.
  • On the note of eating less, well, just eat less. Period.  So I have started training to cut my portions in half. For example, if I see these special Christmas cookies that I love, instead of having four like I usually do, I take 2.  I know, it’s still some calories and sugar but I said that I wanted to lessen the terrible after effects and still enjoy the season. Now is not the time to start a brand new diet. It just will not work given all the parties and the celebrations and, as mentioned before, all the seasonal dishes.  But you can enjoy and do this in moderation as well.
  • How do you do this? Moderation and Christmas are not words often seen in the same sentence.  Well, it helps if you track your food.  Not the overly detailed tracking with corresponding grams and calorie count that a lot of diet plans require. That would honestly be just too much work for me for the season.  But taking down just what you ate for your basic meals so you can look back and see if you are eating too much already is good enough. I have started to do this and I must say it is working.
  • And then there is the food you choose to eat.  I gravitate towards more fibrous dishes for many reasons. One, these really help my digestion.  Two, I love crunch and color and texture.  Three, I am not a sweets fan at all so the occasional cookie doesn’t send me into depression.  Choosing more fiber-rich food will help anyone in the long run. And there are a lot of delicious Christmas dishes that are high in fiber so thinking that you will have nothing to eat or serve is a myth.  Just do the research.
  • Relax!  Stress is major party pooper.  I can recall so many parties I hosted, not only Christmas parties, where I ended with a headache and not really remembering enjoying myself much.  In fact, I stopped hosting parties for a couple of years because of this. I am not hosting anything this year and I am not saying become a hermit or stop party planning.  Just organize, do manageable meals, do things ahead of time, and remember that it is a party so smile, laugh, and have fun.

How do you plan to manage your festivities this year?

Cheers,

VICKI

What is it about Christmas that just brings out such glee in kids?  Is it the wonderful, beautiful lights that festoon every lamppost or anything upright for that matter?  Is it the entry of seasonal, very delicious meals?   For kids, Christmas time is Santa time! The moment my tree comes out of hiding at home, my kids automatically do their own short versions of Balki Bartokomous’s ‘Dance of Joy’ (age hint here).  It is such a funny thing to see and truly the excitement from them is fantastic.  Then the pressure sets in and I start to feel all the responsibility attached with Santa Claus and making sure they have a memorable Christmas.

This year, I started to think about this tradition.  What is it really?  Where did it come from?  And how do I divert the seemingly mindless consumerism of the idea of Santa Claus to what Christmas should truly mean?  I did some reaserch first (naturally) and this is what I found.

Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, and simply “Santa”, is a figure with legendary, historical and folkloric aspects who, in many western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve, December 24.[1] The modern figure was derived from the Dutch figure of Sinterklaas, which, in turn, may have part of its basis in hagiographical tales concerning the historical figure of gift giver Saint Nicholas…Santa Claus is generally depicted as a plump, jolly, white-bearded man wearing a red coat with white collar and cuffs, white-cuffed red trousers, and black leather belt and boots (images of him rarely have a beard with no moustache)… According to a tradition which can be traced to the 1820s, Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, with a large number of magical elves, and nine (originally eight) flying reindeer. Since the 20th century, in an idea popularized by the 1934 song “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”, Santa Claus has been believed to make a list of children throughout the world, categorizing them according to their behavior (“naughty” or “nice”) and to deliver presents, including toys, and candy to all of the good boys and girls in the world, and sometimes coal to the naughty children, on the single night of Christmas Eve. He accomplishes this feat with the aid of the elves who make the toys in the workshop and the reindeer who pull his sleigh. (Wikipedia)

Basically, it appears that the current tradition of Santa Claus and gift-giving is in fact a mix of ancient Greek folklore, Germanic Paganism, and Dutch folklore.  The figure of Santa Claus can be derived from a combination of the Greek Saint Nicholas of Myra, a Christian saint known for giving generously to the poor, who is also the basis of the Dutch Sinterklaas, and the Germanic god Odin who was known to ride his eight-legged horse Sleipnir over great distances and giving gifts to children who would leave carrots and star and treats for his horse to nibble on as he passed their chimneys.  Sinterklass is a stately old man who gives gifts to well-behaved children, and Odin is known as an old man with a long white beard.  Over the centuries, all these figures appear to have merged together to become the Santa Claus of today.  Of course, thanks to Coca Cola, we have the ubiquitous jolly, round, old man with a long white beard, in a bright red suit.

All in all, the main theme of what are the supposed origins of the current tradition is giving and this is what I want to focus on this year.  I am trying to teach my kids that this is the season for giving- giving to the people you love as an expression of love, to your friends as an expression of friendship, and not so much in expectation of something in return.  I have started asking them what they want to give their friends and cousins and aunts and have tried to tell them that it does not matter what they get if they get gifts and that the important thing is that they are able to show friends and family their love and friendship. Now, I don’t want them to be too materialistic so I tell them that they don’t need to buy anything expensive to show how they feel and that they can make their gifts too.  Of course, I don’t want to be a complete Scrooge and take away the joy of wishing for favorite toys so I have also asked them to make their list to Santa but I have told them that he won’t be able to give everything on the list because he has to give other children gifts too and that it is still great if he gives them one or two from their list, to which they expressed satisfaction.

What do you guys think?  Too Scrooge-y or over-thought?

What are some of your thoughts about the meaning of Christmas, beyond the lights and the commerciality of it all?

Cheers,

VICKI


In the beginning, I thought people who placed a whole lot of emphasis on sleep were a tad bit lazy.  Today, it appears that sleep is very important and that those folks were on the right track after all. And sleep is important from the moment your child is born until he or she grows to adulthood.  The growth hormone is naturally secreted when you sleep.  For kids, this is important for the right development.  So it is recommended that they get the prescribed number of hours a day.  For children less than a year it is about 14 hours, for kids ages 1-3 about 12-14, for those aged 3-6 about 10-12, those 7-12 years, 10-11 hours, and those 12-18 years, 8-9 hours a day.

I used to fret that my kids would not take afternoon naps.  My son especially was immune to the thought.  He has always been the kind of kid that is brimming with energy.  He loves play and socializing and really squeezing every moment out of every day.  My daughter is a little less energetic.  She used to take naps on a regular basis but she has since discovered the joys of packing it in throughout the day. So, gone are her naps.  It is a good thing that my doctor reassured me that as long as they get at least 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night, they are fine, they will develop well and healthily, and the growth hormone and all the rejuvenation that happens when you sleep will happen in the right amounts for them.   Whew!

I do have some friends though who are currently having problems calming their kids or getting their kids to sleep enough.  These friends have kids that differ in age.  Some have kids that have just turned one, others in their toddler years, and one who has a preschooler. I have often gotten complements on how disciplined my kids are about how much and when they sleep and I have been told that their growth and general sunny disposition can be attributed to this.  So I am often asked how I do/did it.  And I am always surprised because I didn’t really do anything extraordinarily different.  I do always stress though that structure and routine were key components in forming my kids into the way they are today.  So, here is what I did for both kids consistently.

  1. Stress on Consistency.  I did the same thing every day.  I had bath time at a certain time (for example, after 9 am feeding).  I had a specific routine for the day bath, I used different soaps and materials, and a specific routine for the night bath. I didn’t force any schedule on my kids.  They told me when they were hungry or needed changing.  But a routing does come out and I followed that and adjusted when I needed to.
  2. Use Cues.  Like I said earlier, I had specific routines and materials for specific activities.  These are known as cures.  So when my kids would smell the lavender soap I used for night time, they knew that sleepy time was coming.  When I would play the classical music, they knew it was afternoon nap time.  When the lights went out and curtains were drawn, they usually fell asleep fairly quickly.  And as they grew and required less waking moments to drink milk, they slept longer and longer intervals until they slept right through the night.  Today, they sleep from 7-8 on weekdays, 9-10 on Fridays and Saturdays, and wake up 10-11 hours later.
  3. Follow through.  I kept both things- consistent routines and cues- going.  I use them today.  They know that when they get up, after maybe half an hour, they should be getting breakfast.  They know that after school, they have lunch and then their bath, and then their homework and then they play.  They know that they can play and play to their hearts content but when the sky goes dark and the clock strikes 6, they need to calm down and have dinner.  And they know that after resting, they have to take their bath, and then go to sleep.  Usually, they like a good bed time story or telling me something especially interesting about their day.  But when the lights go out, they know it is sleep time and they consistently fall asleep a maximum of 30 minutes after this.

I am no expert and I didn’t know what the effect of what I was doing would be until after the fact.  My main concern there was getting them used to a schedule so that they would be disciplined and independent at the right time.  I guess it worked for the sleep as well.

I hope this was helpful.  What are some things you guys did when your kids were young to get them to sleep well and enough?

Happy Reading!

VICKI


My kids are much too old for breastfeeding but I thought that this is a perfect topic to push because it is both healthy for the kids and the mother and free.  Where else will you get that good a deal?  Now, I know that there is some controversy surrounding breastfeeding.  Some women do not believe in it, some do not think it is important or different, etc.  This is not a venue to hold matches between those two points and to judge which one is better.  This is simply an informative post as to the positives and negatives of breastfeeding, keeping in mind that breastfeeding is the most natural way to feed an infant and that it cots nothing monetarily.

So, pro’s are: 

For the mom-

  • A reason to eat and not to gain. In fact, you lose weight!  A breastfeeding mom needs more that 500 extra calories a day because the body just burns more while breastfeeding. 
  • It is easy and requires no expense or fuss.  You so not need much more than a comfortable place to prop yourself and your child. 
  • For those who are comfortable and used to the routines, it is possible to sleep during feedings, especially those night time ones.
  • They say that it is a way to foster a bond between mother and child. 
  • There’s less spitting up, no stains and the poop doesn’t smell!
  • There are anti cancer benefits.  Research shows that the longer you breastfeed, the lower your risk for breast and ovarian cancer. 
  • May give you a longer break from getting your period again but ovulation may still occur so this is NOT a birth control method.
  • A lot of breastfeeding moms say it feels awesome and is a real confidence booster!

For the Baby-

  • Breast milk provides natural antibodies.  This is usually found in the colostrum or the opaque part of the breast milk.  Breastfed babies get more protection against ear infections, colds, and viruses: If the child does have any of the above, the severity will most likely be lessened.
  • Breast milk is said to help the brain grow and develop
  • They say as well that there is less learning and behavior difficulties
  • Less diaper rash and other skin problems due to the natural milk. When rashes occur it is usually a reaction to what the mom is eating and then transmitting through the milk than a reaction to the milk itself.
  • It is proven that there is less colic and  less crying because of the natural suction from breastfeeding
  • Breast milk is easy to digest.
  • Research has shown that breast milk protects against Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, leukemia, some childhood cancers, and juvenile-onset diabetes
  • And breastfeeding moms swear that their babies LOVE the taste!

That said, what are the con’s?

  • Breastfeeding takes time.  Newborns feed every 2 to three hours and so breastfeeding moms follow this schedule even at night. 
  • If the dad or the grandparents want a turn at feeding the baby, mom still has to pump the breast milk out which may not be as comforting as having the baby feed directly off the breast. 
  • Breastfeeding is tiring! It takes a lot of energy for your body to make milk, so the mother can often feel quite fatigued.
  • Contrary to popular belief, this is not second nature. Almost all moms have at least a moment where they learn how to properly feed their babies.  This may cause some anxiety and frustration.
  • There may be other problems as well that make breastfeeding difficult. Some common problems are mastitis, inverted nipples, babies not being able to latch properly, plugged milk ducts and engorgement if the baby is not feeding frequently or properly.
  • Finally, for the career woman, breastfeeding can be a real challenge.  The schedule alone is something that requires a lot of management and support from the workplace.

So, is breastfeeding for you?  It is an entirely personal choice.  I do not believe there is a right or wrong answer as every loving mother has their stand on why she chooses what she chooses in the care and development of her child.  Certainly, these are points for anyone to mull over before making that decision.

I hope this was informative!

Cheers,

VICKI


I am not known to be a big joker.  In fact, it is a big joke to a lot of very close friends how serious a person I am.  So imagine my apprehension when I discovered that joking around and pretending with your kids is supposedly a good thing for their development.  So, before I started to panic in a major way and blame myself for the millions of moments I missed out adding to their better development by not being a joker, I decided to look into this and see what I missed out on doing, if I missed anything at all even.

Turns out child development experts have been doing research into the effect of joking and pretending done by parents with their toddler children.  These researchers found

…that joking and pretending by parents with their toddlers were important in building children’s social skills, learning and creativity.

Wow!  I was beginning to feel really inadequate.  Apparently, I missed out on doing something completely free that was supposed to give them this kick start in life skills!  The target age was 15-24 months and my kids have long passed that mark so did that mean it was too late to start this method of development?

Luckily, upon deeper reflection, it turns out that I am not the humourless rock I have always believed myself to be after all.  Research says that making jokes and pretending when doing things helps kids recognize these concepts, the difference between the concepts, and helps them become more creative, have more humour, promotes sociability, and thinking out of the box.

And it isn’t really too hard.  I remember there were so many instances where I was cleaning out a closet or a bag or a box of toys with my two kids and then I would ask them where things would go and they would tell me one place and I would “mistakenly” put it elsewhere.  They would laugh and call me out, and I would gasp with appropriate surprise, and this would send them into fits of giggles over how silly mommy was being.  Other things I would do would be to sig their favourite songs and change up the lyrics, all the time innocently looking at them as if I was singing the correct thing. This again would send them into gales of laughter.  These are just a few of the things I recall doing, so I am not too panicked that I have deprived them of jokes and pretend play since birth and at present.

Have I noticed anything extraordinarily different in the development of my kids? Well, honestly, the non-biased answer is not really.  They seem to me the way normal, adjusted, developing, intelligent, happy kids should be.  I will say that my son loves to make stories up in drawing and sings while explaining his drawings, and my daughter really loves mixing things up as a joke.  Is that normal? I am guessing so. Is it great to see them love to laugh and to know that they get some of that from their staid and serious mom?  It sure is.

What do you think about humor as a teaching tool?

Happy Reading!

VICKI