As I have mentioned many times – I’m a Mom of twin boys and I absolutely love it! I have never minded the attention that has come because of our double blessing. I think most parents of twins agree that it’s fun (as long as you aren’t in a big hurry) and you get to talk to a lot of nice people.
When the boys were babies, people would stop to talk to us wherever we went. I suppose it’s hard to miss someone walking by with a double stroller that contains two precious, rosy cheeked babies. Some of the most common questions we were asked – and still get – are:
~ Are they twins?
~ Are they identical?
~ Which one was born first?
~ Do twins run in your family?
~ How far apart are they?
~ What are their names?
I honestly don’t mind answering questions about the boys – and I haven’t really been offended by any we’ve been asked (not yet anyway). Some inquiries seem a tiny bit personal, but I have those types of answers all prepared. I’m a people person - and I’m also pretty easy going - so it hasn’t ever bothered me too much. My husband used to get a little annoyed with the “Are they twins” question when the boys were babies. He always wanted to say “No, they are triplets but we left one at home.” He never said that though. Of course, now when people ask us if the boys are twins – I don’t really blame them because they don’t look a like. Actually, A. is usually an inch and a half, to two inches taller than N. — always has been.
The fact of the matter is, twins and other multiples are fascinating to a lot of folks. They were always interesting to me, and I guarantee you I asked some silly questions. This is why I thought if I gave you some information about twins – it could help you out when approaching these families.
Facts
Here are is a quick fact about twins that you might find very helpful — especially if you don’t know a lot about them.
What is the difference between fraternal and identical twins?
Our boys are fraternal, which means are as different as any other set of siblings — they just happen to be born at the same time. Fraternal twins occur because of a double ovulation; two separate eggs and fertilized separately. Sometimes when people stop us to ask if the boys are twins, they seem surprised and say, “Well, they don’t look alike.” Not all twins look alike they can actually look very different. One such example would be boy/girl twins — now that’s different! I know some people who have b/g twins who get asked frequently if they are identical — I think I may have asked this question myself before. The answer is always no and here’s why.
Identical twins are a result of one egg and one fertilization — what happens is, the egg splits. These twins will look very much alike because they share the same DNA. This is why b/g twins can’t possibly be identical. When identical twins are infants – and even as they grow - it may be very difficult for people to tell them apart. However there are certain markings, mannerisms and other subtle differences that can help. Of course, it is important t remember that just because these twins look the same on the outside; they are still different people.
Questions and Comments to Avoid
Even well meaning people can make comments without thinking things through. Some of the most common comments that parents of twins get – and you should avoid saying - are:
~ “Looks like double trouble.” If I had a nickle for every time I heard this, I’d have enough money saved up to send both boys to college. People say it because it’s a catchy rhyme I guess – but I would suggest saying something like “Looks like a double blessing” or “You’ve got double the joy.” These positive comments go over much better with parents of twins. I have had people say these things to me and I appreciated it.
~ “How do you do it?” To which I say — “I just do it.”
~ “Better you than me!” Yes — I agree!
~ “Oh, he must be the smart one.” Uh…yeah…they are both very smart, thank you very much.
~ “Your kids are both cute, but she is much prettier.” This wasn’t said to my kids — but a stranger did say this to a twin mommy friend of mine. I was shocked when she told me, but what made it worse was that her six year old girls heard the whole conversation. Since that time I have read several posts from other moms who have had the same experience. The sad thing is – many times – it’s family members who will say it and even do so in front of the kids.
~ “Did you have an IVF (in vitro fertilization) done?” Before I answer, may I ask how your children were conceived?
~ “Do twins run in your family?” Yes, and usually in different directions…haha! I actually just saw this on a t-shirt but I’m totally using this next time someone asks. This question is a more polite way of asking someone if they used fertility treatments to conceive their twins. Before asking this question, I recommend getting to know the person a little better first.
As I said before, I know people mean well. We’ve all said silly things – without completely thinking things through - at one time or another. I know I have done it many times. Nobody’s perfect…
Got twins? What are some things you wish people knew about them? Don’t have twins but have a question you’ve been wanting to ask? Go ahead and ask me. If I don’t have the answer, I’ll get it for you 
Thanks for Reading!
~Christie
Having twins is wonderful but it is also pretty expensive! Well, having children is expensive but when you are blessed with two or more babies at one time, things add up really fast. The good news is there are several companies who understand this and are willing to give parents of twins and higher order multiples a break. Some companies will send you freebies or really great coupons. Be aware that in some cases, you will be asked to provide the babies’ birth certificates, to prove that you do have multiples.
Here is a list of discounts parents of multiples can receive and for even more money saving tips check out my post on tips for buying for twins. I will do my best to update this list from time to time but you will definitely want to check with each of these companies to make sure they are still offering their multiple birth programs, discounts or freebies. If you know of a multiple birth program that is not listed, please let me know I’d love to add it!
American Baby Magazine
(possible) Free 1yr Subscription
When I called I was told that you just need to enter your name, due date and number of children and when they see you are expecting multiples you will get the discount. I don’t know for sure if this works but it’s worth a try and if it doesn’t automatically apply the discount I would call customer service 1-800-678-1208
Please let me know if you do try it and whether it works or not. Thanks!
Babies R Us
10% discount to parents of multiples (in-store)
This discount applies when buying two or more large items such as, furniture, high chairs, swings, pack-n-plays, strollers (I am told this also applies to a double stroller), etc. Be sure to ask before making your purchase since these discounts can change at any time.
Baby Depot (part of Burlington Coat Factory)
20% discounton anything in the baby department when you buy two or more identical items.
This could be a substantial savings, especially if you are buying furniture. Be sure to ask in your local store about the discount because discounts can change and possibly vary by region.
OshKosh and Stride Rite also provide discounts for parents of twins, as do many other national retailers.
| Kids Ain’t Cheap’s Recommended Merchants for Twin Parents | |
| Baby Shower Stuff | Offers a special section just for Baby Shower Stuff for Twins at great prices. Click here to go directly to their Twins and Triplets section. |
I love having twins! People always ask me if it’s a lot of work and I say, “Sure it is, but it’s worth it.” They truly are a double blessing. Here are some of the best things about having twins.
A Baby for Everyone
One of the first things I loved about having twins, was that they were easy to share. After the boys were born, my Mom and Mother-in-law were so happy that they each had a baby to hold. When people came to visit, there weren’t any awkward, “quit hogging the baby” moments — because there was usually one up for grabs.
Some new mothers feel like everyone is holding their baby but them; or that they only get the baby when they need to be fed or starts crying. Not so much with twins — I am happy to report that I got lots of baby holding time and so did all the other people that love them.
Two Bald Baby Heads with Toothless Grins
Some of my favorite moments of the day, were when the boys would wake up from their naps, or first thing in the morning (especially if they slept in). As soon as I would hear them making cute baby noises; I would go into their room. That’s when I would see the cutest little bald babies smiling at me, with their adorable toothless grins. I loved that!
Rinse and Repeat
Having two infants at the same time was a little intense. The best twin advice I received was “What you do for one, do for the other.” This saved me so much time and frustration. It took a little while for us to get in the groove of things but once I remembered that advice – and put it into practice – things flowed much more smoothly.
They ate at the same time, I changed their diapers at the same time (whether the other one needed it or not), I put them down for a nap at the same time, and as soon their sleep schedules began to sync, life got a tiny bit easier. Plus, I got really good at doing things, because I would do it once and then immediately do it again. Except feeding. I always fed them at the same time, otherwise I wouldn’t have had time for anything else.
Built in Best Friend (wrestling buddy)
My boys always have a playmate. Of course, that can also work against me when they are fighting – but if you have more than one kid it’s bound to happen. When they were newborns, they didn’t really look at each other much but they loved to be side-by-side. One would lay their head on the other’s shoulder or they might hold hands. It was so adorable!
Now that they are older, they have inside jokes, they giggle and chat before falling asleep and again when they wake up, they make up all kinds of fun adventures and work together to achieve a common goal. They are also more confident when experiencing new situations, because they have each other.
Twins Community
I am part of a wonderful community of twin parents. You know how motorcyclists wave at each other as they pass on the road; it’s kind of like that for parents of twins. We might stop to swap stories or just give each other a knowing smile. We share a common bond and it’s always nice to talk to other parents of twins. I especially enjoy meeting twins who are grown-up. They provide fantastic insights.
2-for-1 Deal
It took awhile for my husband and I to have children. We always said we were going to have two; we just didn’t know it would happen at the same time. Sometimes, I wish I could have experienced two pregnancies but I am very thankful for the one I did have. I got two babies and only had to go through labor once – that’s a pretty good deal. Plus, I have two very healthy little boys. I couldn’t ask for more than that.
People Tell Me I’m a Supermom
This is always nice to hear and I really appreciate when people take the time to tell me this. It’s very sweet. Truth is, I think there are a lot of Supermoms (and Dads) out there, who work very hard for their children every day. That’s what being a parent is all about - no matter what hand you are dealt – a good parent will just do what needs to be done to care for their child or children, no matter what.
I once had a lady say to me, “You have twins? Wow! I don’t know how you do it. I have one three year old and it’s insane. I would have killed myself if I had twins.” Yikes! Better me than her I guess.
The Same but Different
My boys share a birthday, they both love superheros and fire trucks, and the both love their dog but they are really so very different. For one thing A. will eat just about any fruit on the planet but N. really only likes apples and grapes (thankfully he’s not as picky about veggies). Before they were even born, A. was pretty chill and N. moved around like a wild man. After they arrived – A. was pretty chill and N. was a wild man.
They don’t look alike, they don’t dress alike and they certainly have different ideas about things — but at the end of the day they are best buddies. If they are apart for any length of time – as soon as they see each other – they are so happy to be together again.
There’s really so much to love about having twins! There’s double the hugs and double the kisses. There is no feeling in the world like holding a sleeping baby in each arm. Sometimes, I still try to carry them both for old times sake, but it’s getting much more difficult.
I am so thankful to be a mother of twins. It has been an amazing experience so far — and the adventure has just begun!
The blessings of raising twins, certainly outweigh the challenges. What do you love most about having twins?
Thanks for Reading!
~Christie
As I have mentioned before – I am the Mom of twin boys. Because of this, I get asked all kinds of questions. Here is one question that I get asked quite often by people who are either expecting twins or those who are just curious:
Does having twins mean you have to have two of everything?
Since money and space are a common concern for people expecting twins – thankfully – the answer is no. Certainly, there are things that you should have two of but there are many things where having just one, will suffice.
At the end of the article, check out our recommendations for some of the best online shops for baby furniture and supplies
Bringing Home Babies
It’s always a great idea to be fully stocked on all supplies - and ready for action - as soon as the babies arrive home. Having all the essentials and first aid supplies is a must but you can hold off on some of the bigger items until later (swings, high chairs, exersaucers, etc.)
Parents of twins do need to keep plenty (and by plenty I mean, imagine what you think might need and triple that number) of the following items on hand; bottles, wipes, diapers, and formula. Other things that are really important to have a lot of are; onsies, sleepers, burp cloths, love and patience. Trust me when I tell you that running out of any of these items, with two unhappy babies yelling at you is not - I repeat - not a good thing!
Things you need to have two of:
Car Seats- These are an absolute must. They won’t even let you leave the hospital, without seeing them properly installed in your car first.
Double Stroller- There are some great infant seat/double stroller systems out there. Do a lot of research and that will help you decide which one might work best for you. To get started you’ll want to ask other parents of twins, read reviews, and take them for a test drive.
We had an in-line stroller and later bought a side by side light weight double stroller when the boys were about a year old. Both had their advantages – like keeping the kiddos contained; and their disadvantages – like not being able to squeeze through narrow spaces or the ablility to take out clothing racks in department stores.
Cribs - Most twinfants do enjoy sharing a crib (or at least they seem to) but opinions differ on whether that is actually safe or not. Once they start moving around and rolling over, parents are strongly advised to put them in their own crib because one could roll over on the other and cause them to stop breathing.
Our boys slept in a crib together for a very short time. They couldn’t roll over but somehow N would scoot himself on his back (maybe kicking his feet or something) and end up using A’s belly as his foot rest. Neither seemed bothered by this arrangement but we separated them soon after this started — they actually slept much better on their own.
Baby Carrier or Sling - I loved our baby carriers, though looking back I probably would have purchased a sling as well – for around the house. The carrier was just too bulky to use while trying to get things done.
The carriers were great when my husband and I would take the boys out and about. We could hold them close (so people didn’t lean in and breathe all over them). Plus, we didn’t get people constantly stopping us to ask if they were twins — not that I minded that so much, but when you are in a hurry it can be a little frustrating.
High Chairs - These of course aren’t needed right away, but they are necessary. A friend of mine – who also has twins – advised me to get high chairs which would fit on our dining room chairs.
This was a fantastic idea for us because our kitchen isn’t very big and having two high chairs would have taken up a lot of space. We found some nice ones and then my Mom bought some very simple, plastic ones that were great for travel. They were light weight and didn’t take up too much space; which was nice.
Two Sets of Bottles - We started with glass bottles and that made for a lot of extra work. They were nice though, easy to warm up and store in the fridge but lots of washing, especially in the beginning.
I later moved to the Playtex bottles and liners (*money saver* Target makes liners that fit these bottles for much less than the Playtex ones) not very “green” of me I know – but it sure was simple and saved me a lot of time.
Potty Seats - Potty training twins isn’t easy but having two potty chairs in the house will make it a tiny bit easier.
Things you may need two of:
Diaper Genie or Diaper Pail – You really only need one of these but if you have a split level house it might be more convenient to have one on each level.
Baby Swing – You might be fine with only one of these but if both babies really love them – you’ll probably want two.
Bouncy Seat – Our boys loved these. I would put the babies in them and it made it easy for me to transport them to any room in the house. Some babies don’t like them though, so if you get one and they both like it, you can get another one later.
Exersaucer - These were fantastic and the boys loved playing in them. They would also interact and play with each other when I would put them in them side-by-side.
Bumbos - My boys didn’t use these for very long before they figured out how to escape – but they were fun to have.
One will be just fine:
- Changing Table
- Wipe Warmer
- Vaporizer (unless they are in two separate rooms)
- Nursing Pillow
- Activity Mat
- Bathtub
- Night Light
Recommended Baby Stores that Help Support this Site:
If you have any questions about twins, or would like to see a post on a specific topic relating to twin parenting let me know!
Thanks for reading!!!
~Christie
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When buying gifts for twins – often times – people are confused about what to get. Do you buy a gift for each child or one gift for both? Do you give them both a card, or is one card just fine? If your child is invited to a birthday party by one twin, do you need to get a gift for the other one? These are questions – that I honestly never thought about – until I had twins. Buying gifts for twins can be a daunting task for some but it really doesn’t have to be. You just need to keep a few things in mind as you plan your shopping trip.
Twins Are Not Clones
Just because two people share a birthday and may look exactly alike; doesn’t necessarily mean they enjoy the same things. A good rule of thumb is, unless they have requested the exact same item; try to get them something different. If they have the same interests, you can always get them something similar but maybe a different version. Keep in mind that it’s not about spending a lot of money. You know the saying, “It’s the thought that counts,” well — that really is true. When you take the time to personalize the gift – by learning what each child’s individual interests are – you make them each feel special and important.
Now, let’s talk about cards. Do you really need to get a card for each child or can you get one card and address it to both? If the card contains a gift, doing a card for each child is the best idea; then you can write a special message to each one. Also, think about it this way – if the children were not born on the same day – would you be sending separate cards for each? If the answer is “yes,” then you’ll want to give two cards.
You Don’t Have to Spend a Lot
Twins spend a lot of time with each other; so give them the gift of some one-on-one time with you. Scheduling a special outing of some kind with each twin, is a great way to honor each one’s unique personality. Maybe one twin loves animals and one loves airplanes — one weekend you can have an outing to the zoo with the animal lover and the next weekend you can go to the air museum with the other child.
Another fun thing you can do is to take a day for each twin — make their favorite lunch and do an activity of their choice. It might be playing a board game or video game, looking at old pictures, a trip to the park or the library, or whatever else they want to do that day. It’s nice for each one to have a little time, when they don’t have to share or compromise. Of course, those are good lessons and just a part of life but for twins — they have been doing that from the beginning. It’s really is nice for them to have things their way, even if it’s just for a few hours.
Twin Birthday Parties
Do you need to buy a gift for each twin, if your child only knows one of them? This is something I honestly never thought about. Since our boys are in the same preschool class, they share all of the same friends, but often times – as twins get older – they are placed in different classes in school and may develop friendships with kids, who their sibling doesn’t even know. If your child is only being invited by one twin, it will usually be noted on the invitation. Many times the parents of the twins will also write on the invite that you shouldn’t feel obligated to bring a gift for the twin, who your child doesn’t know.
It is definitely a nice gesture to bring a little something for the other twin even if your child doesn’t know them very well, but certainly not necessary.
I hope I was able to clear up any questions you might have about giving gifts to twins. If you have any questions comments or ideas to share, I would love to hear them!
Thanks for reading!
~Christie
