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Are You Considering a Divorce?

November 24, 2013 | Leave a Comment

divorceThe holidays can be a wonderful time to spend with family and friends.  Though the holidays can be filled with a flurry of activity, most people enjoy the season because they like watching the joy on their children’s faces and the magic of the season.

But unfortunately, the holidays can also be a time of sadness if you are unhappily married.  While you may be able to ignore the trouble in your marriage during the year, the stress and togetherness of the holidays can bring into focus just how unhappy you are.  There’s nothing like attending party after party putting on a happy face when you don’t feel that way at all.

 

Don’t Jump to the End

If you’ve realized that you’re marriage is failing and you’re deeply dissatisfied with it, don’t automatically assume that you’ll need to get a divorce. Instead, you can try to talk to your partner and see if they might be willing to see a marriage therapist with you. If they won’t, you could certainly see a therapist yourself to learn how to deal with the situation. Often, just changing your own behaviors can inadvertently result in your spouse changing their behavior. Similarly, don’t assume that problems in bed mean that the marriage is ending. There are plenty of health conditions that can cause problems, and your partner may not even understand their problem themself. Erectile dysfunction, for example, is unlikely to mean your partner no longer finds you attractive. Instead, it’s more likely to be caused by hormone imbalances, so it might be a good idea to contact an ED Clinic Pasdena, or similar clinic in your own area, to determine the best course of treatment.

 

Consult a Professional

Another step you may want to take is to meet with an experienced divorce lawyer in Daytona Beach, if you live near there or to seek the counsel of one near you.  Consulting with a divorce lawyer doesn’t mean you will get a divorce.  It just means you’re looking at your options.

An initial meeting with a lawyer like those at Peters & May – your family law solution in Mayfair can help you understand what the process will be like and they will be able to give you legal advice surrounding your situation. The lawyer could tell you what steps you should take now, what is required in your state to pursue a divorce as well as how custody arrangements would likely work.

The lawyer will also likely remind you of all the implications of a divorce.  Alimony will need to be determined as well as the splitting of assets.

As well as using the services provided by the lawyer, you may want to investigate your partners behaviour further with the help of a private investigator. For example, if you think your partner may have been unfaithful to you and you need proof before going through with a divorce, then you could hire a Bond Rees private investigator (or amending this to your local area) as they will be able to dig deeper and reveal any secrets that your partner has been hiding from you.

Try To Make Things Work

For many, though, financially, it’s better to stay married.  If you don’t think your marriage is completely over, seeing a therapist and working through your issues is often the best course of action.  Depending on the state you’re in, you may face the loss of half of your retirement fund as well as alimony payments, if applicable.  If you’ve been a stay at home mom, you’ll likely need to re-enter the workforce, which can be a challenge after you’ve been out of it for several years.

However, there are times when a divorce is best for you and your family.  Only you know if you’ve reached that point.  If you have, a good divorce attorney can be very important both to help you with custody of your children and with the fair separation of assets.

If you know friends who’ve been divorced, ask them for their recommendations.  Family friends who are in the legal field may also be able to direct you to an attorney you can trust to get the best divorce settlement for you.

What other tips do you have?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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