child emotional health Archives

1. Speaking Negatively About the Other Parent

It might feel harmless in the moment, but badmouthing your ex—even in subtle ways—can create deep confusion for your child. Kids often see themselves as a blend of both parents, so hearing criticism about one can feel like criticism of themselves. Phrases like “you’re just like your dad” or “your mom always does that” land with more weight than intended. Even body language—eye rolls, sighs, dismissive tones—can send messages kids don’t know how to process. When divorcing parents keep their frustrations away from their children’s ears, it gives kids the freedom to love both parents without guilt.

2. Using the Child as a Messenger

When communication between exes gets strained, it might seem easier to send a message through your child. But this can put them in the uncomfortable position of being the go-between for adult matters. Whether it’s asking about plans, money, or who’s picking them up next weekend, these “little” tasks can feel like big responsibilities to a child. It also puts them in the middle of potential conflict, which can be stressful and unfair. Direct parent-to-parent communication is always best, even if it’s awkward.

3. Ignoring the Child’s Emotional Cues

Divorcing parents often get wrapped up in managing their own stress and may miss signs that their child is struggling emotionally. Changes in behavior, sleep issues, acting out, or becoming unusually quiet can all be signs of inner turmoil. Kids might not have the language to explain what they’re feeling—or they might fear upsetting a parent by sharing honestly. It’s crucial to keep checking in, creating space for open conversations, and validating their emotions. Letting them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused can go a long way.

4. Failing to Maintain Routines

In times of upheaval, consistency is comforting. While some changes are inevitable during a divorce, abandoning all routines can leave kids feeling unanchored. Things like bedtime rituals, regular meals, and weekend activities help them feel safe and grounded. When schedules shift too often or rules differ wildly between households, it can create emotional whiplash. Divorcing parents should strive for as much predictability as possible and collaborate on shared expectations where they can.

5. Oversharing Personal Details

Kids don’t need to know everything about why the marriage ended or who did what. While honesty is important, there’s a difference between age-appropriate truth and emotional oversharing. Some parents unintentionally lean on their children for support, venting frustrations that should be handled with another adult or a therapist. This puts pressure on the child to comfort the parent, which is an unhealthy dynamic. Keeping the focus on the child’s needs—rather than pulling them into yours—helps maintain the right emotional boundaries.

6. Competing for the Child’s Affection

When emotions are raw, some parents fall into a pattern of trying to “win” the child over—through gifts, relaxed rules, or over-the-top experiences. This might feel like love, but it can create confusion and lead kids to believe they have to choose sides. It may also disrupt healthy discipline or lead to entitlement. Instead, focus on quality connection, not grand gestures. Children benefit more from stability, structure, and genuine time with each parent than from being treated like a prize.

Kids Need Your Presence, Not Your Perfection

No parent handles divorce perfectly—but showing up with consistency, empathy, and a willingness to grow goes a long way. When divorcing parents stay focused on their child’s emotional security and protect them from unnecessary stress, they give them the space to heal and thrive. Small changes in behavior today can shape how your child navigates relationships for years to come.

Have you spotted any of these patterns in your own experience? What helped your child most during your divorce? Share your thoughts below—we’d love to hear from you.

Read More:

Catherine Reed

Catherine is a tech-savvy writer who has focused on the personal finance space for more than eight years. She has a Bachelor’s in Information Technology and enjoys showcasing how tech can simplify everyday personal finance tasks like budgeting, spending tracking, and planning for the future. Additionally, she’s explored the ins and outs of the world of side hustles and loves to share what she’s learned along the way. When she’s not working, you can find her relaxing at home in the Pacific Northwest with her two cats or enjoying a cup of coffee at her neighborhood cafe.

6 Times Parents Should Intervene in Their Childs Friendships — Image Source: 123rf.com

Friendships are an important part of childhood. They teach kids how to share, communicate, solve problems, and build emotional bonds. But sometimes, those relationships aren’t as healthy or innocent as they seem. And while it’s natural for parents to want to step back and let their children figure things out, there are situations when silence does more harm than good. Knowing when to step in—and how—is one of the trickiest parts of parenting.

You’re not trying to control your child’s social life. You’re trying to protect their emotional well-being and teach them what respectful, supportive relationships look like. Friendships during childhood can have a lasting impact, so recognizing the red flags early on matters. Here are six times when it’s absolutely appropriate for parents to get involved in their child’s friendships.

1. The Friendship Is Clearly One-Sided

If your child is always the one reaching out, giving gifts, or compromising to keep the friendship alive, that’s a problem. One-sided relationships teach kids to undervalue their own needs and chase approval. Over time, this can chip away at their self-esteem and make them believe they have to earn love or attention. You might hear things like “They’ll get mad if I don’t go” or “They don’t talk to me unless I do something for them.” That’s your cue to have a conversation about balance, mutual respect, and what true friendship should feel like.

2. The Friend Encourages Dangerous or Inappropriate Behavior

If another child is pressuring your kid to break rules, bully others, skip school, steal, or engage in risky behavior, that’s a clear signal to step in. Kids often go along with bad ideas to fit in or avoid being left out, even when they know better. Your job as a parent is to draw the line and protect them from peer pressure that could lead to real consequences. Talk openly about what happened and why it’s unacceptable. Setting firm boundaries around certain friendships is part of protecting your child’s safety and values.

3. Your Child’s Personality Changes for the Worse

Sudden changes in behavior—like increased anger, anxiety, withdrawal, or disrespect—can sometimes be traced back to a toxic friendship. If your once-happy child is suddenly acting out or shutting down, it’s time to take a closer look at who they’re spending time with. Some friendships drain more than they build, especially when one child dominates or manipulates the other. Kids may not recognize this dynamic but can feel its effects. Don’t ignore a shift in attitude or mood—dig deeper and ask questions about what’s happening behind the scenes.

4. The Friendship Is Fueling Constant Drama

Some kids find themselves trapped in friendships filled with gossip, emotional roller coasters, and on-again, off-again dynamics. If your child is always stressed, confused, or crying over the same friend, it’s worth taking a closer look. Dramatic friendships can create emotional exhaustion and confusion about what’s normal in a relationship. Helping your child step back and evaluate the emotional toll can lead to better choices. They need to know that healthy friendships should bring peace, not constant tension.

5. Your Child Is Being Bullied by a “Friend”

Sometimes the person causing harm hides behind the label of “friend.” If your child is being teased, excluded, manipulated, or threatened by someone they claim to like, that’s not friendship—it’s bullying. Kids can have a hard time admitting this because they don’t want to lose a connection, even if it’s toxic. It’s your responsibility to name what’s happening and explain why it’s not okay. Encourage your child to walk away, seek support, and rebuild their circle with people who lift them up instead of tearing them down.

6. Your Gut Is Screaming Something’s Off

Parents have instincts for a reason. If something about a particular friend or their family gives you a sense of unease—whether it’s the way they talk, how they behave, or what you’ve observed—it’s okay to trust that feeling. Environments and relationships can influence kids that they don’t fully understand. While you don’t want to jump to conclusions, you do want to pay attention. Ask questions, stay present, and don’t be afraid to limit time spent with kids who make you feel like something just isn’t right.

Friendship Lessons Last a Lifetime

Helping your child navigate tricky friendships is part of teaching them how to build healthy relationships. You’re not being overbearing—you’re being proactive. By guiding them through these tough moments, you’re giving them the tools to recognize red flags, set boundaries, and value themselves in every kind of relationship. They’ll carry those lessons with them well into adulthood.

Have you ever had to step in to help your child manage a difficult friendship? Share your experience in the comments!

Teaching Your Child That “Family” Doesn’t Mean “Tolerate Abuse”

Catherine Reed