Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

10 Lessons Learned Since Becoming a Mom

| Leave a Comment

Rosie the Riviter as a mom

Image by WILPF

The boys’ birthday – and Mother’s Day – are just around the corner. Because of this, I have begun thinking about all of the things I have learned about myself – and life in general – over these past four years.

I also realized, some of these discoveries actually began, just as I embarked on my journey towards motherhood. For instance, I learned that when I really want something – or feel in my gut that I must do something – I will do whatever it takes to attain that goal. If I think back on events in my life, I suppose that would be true but I never realized it before — not really.

My husband and I knew we wanted to start a family a few months after we were married but soon realized — that was something we could not really control. It was during this time that I also learned, if I really want something – and I can’t get it because I really have no control over the situation – it drives me bonkers!

I read at least three books about trying to conceive, I charted my monthly cycles, joined TTC/pregnancy support group, I consumed lots of fertility tea (yes, I really did this) and I did everything I was “supposed” to be doing to ensure success!

But month after month — nothing, and nothing, and a bunch more nothing. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through, or so I thought.

After trying to conceive (TTC) for almost 8 months I FINALLY got a positive pregnancy test. We were elated to say the least! However, that pregnancy wasn’t meant to be.

Back down the roller coaster we flew!

THEN, after almost 2 years we were blessed with our darling boys.

Since that day I have learned…

1. Trust my instincts

The best advice I received, was from my Mom (imagine that). I was just about to go home from the hospital and I had well-meaning nurses giving me conflicting advice. I was confused and stressed — and my hormones were totally out of whack. My Mom said, “You just do what you think is best. You are the Mom. Trust your instincts.” And so I have…it’s worked out okay this far!

2. Moms really can do anything

I have said this for years. If I ever needed anything, I would ask my Mom or one of my friends – who had kids – to help me out. Now that I’m a Mom, I realize it’s because you do what you have to do. Kids rely on their parents for so many things – especially when they are small – so if you can’t do it for them, who will? This is why, even if the request seems impossible, Moms will do whatever it takes to get it done.

3. I am stronger than I ever knew

I am stronger than I ever knew — and I am more capable than I ever imagined. When it comes to my children I will move heaven and Earth to keep them safe and give them what they need.

4. Babies do not read parenting books

Babies don’t always do what parenting books say they will but those books can provide a helpful guideline. It’s just like using GPS — you must use common sense combined with your own intuition.

5. the importance of  the “Mom Look”

It took me awhile to get it down — but it’s amazing how effective it can be.

6. Nothing compares

Although I have always loved and been loved; nothing compares to the intense love a mother has for her child.

7. Story-time before bed is as much for them as it is for me

It’s our sweet snuggle time. I love it!

8. A kiss really can fix just about any boo-boo!

It’s magic!

9. If you sneak up on geese – and surprise them – they will laugh.

This is according to A. I haven’t actually tried to see if this is true yet. It’s amazing how his brain works. The kid cracks me up all day long.

10. Just because I don’t think something is stylish — doesn’t mean it’s not in style.

This I have learned from my trendsetter son N. For about a year and a half, his feet were always covered by frog boots, for about six months he was often spotted wearing his spider-man costume OVER his footie jammies. He is particular about every piece of clothing he puts on. I think we are in trouble!

There are so many wonderful things I have learned — and I know there is much more to come! I can’t wait!!!

*I know this was a Mom centered post, I promise a really great post – for Father’s Day – to honor Dads — because you guys are SUPER important and wonderful too!!!

What are some of the things you’ve learned since becoming a parent?

 

Some Thoughts on Life’s Lessons

| Leave a Comment

Maybe she should encourage more books and less technologyI have to say, this first month of 2011 has been a busy one.  There just seems to be a never-ending string of things to do!  It is amazing.  But, I am not complaining.  I like being busy and, while single parenthood is never boring, it is a different feeling to be busy in the workplace and doing things outside motherhood.  That said though, I find it funny how I am constantly reminded of things that are kid-related.  Let me elucidate.

I grew up in a relatively comfortable home.  I was educated well and I was able to travel to a few places around the world and experience different cultures and meet all kinds of people. As a result, I like to think that I have maybe an additional perspective on some things compared to others who have not had the chance to experience the same things. Don’t get me wrong.  I am in no way belittling anyone or making myself bigger than who I am. I am simply saying that I believe I have a wider take on things having had a bit more experience compared to how I think I might have viewed things had my circumstances been otherwise.

Because of that, I try my best to apply what I’ve seen to how I raise my kids.  I want them to be open-minded and exploratory. I want them to question and come up with their own answers and be independent.  I want them to judge and treat people well and not to be so fixated on material things.  I want them to be comfortable but to understand the values of patience and hard-work and not to take anything for granted. So, I try to guide them and introduce them to as much as I can and think they should be exposed to at their age, that I feel would help them develop this way. I want to give them the same chance to experience what I did growing up but I also want them to have some simple roots.  I grew up in a much slower time after all and back then it was easier to sit back and see things move without getting a migraine.  I have come to observe though how tough this considering what they are surrounded with today.

Do we really need all this technology?

There is so much to do, so much to see, so much you are told you should want and have that it is easy to lose track of simple things that cost you a fraction of the cost of what is suggested and adds character, develops the mind and body, and teaches the child lessons that no amount of money can buy.

Today is the age of the Internet and computers and all these high tech toys that are so attractive and do so many interesting things that it is easy to believe that you just absolutely need one and that you cannot live without one and be up-to-date.  Well, I have nothing against computers and games.  I actually find that a lot of the games tackle history and music very well.  And, c’mon, I have blogs! But I really think there is something about books, and outdoor play, and arts and crafts for children that technology cannot teach.And this is the experience of the activity for itself, not pixelized or in HD or from a flat screen TV.  I hope I will be able to properly explain what I mean. Let me try through a couple of examples.

OK, call me old-fashioned. I read somewhere that babies born this year might be reading from e-books and that speciality bookstores might be extinct in 10 years or so. Well, I think that is just sad.  While you can practice your imagination reading off a tablet as well as the page, the beauty of the printed word, the smell of a book, the feel of a genuine and hand-crafted cover is something that adds dimension to your creative experience and adds something to your appreciation of the story and the story teller. It’s just something that would be lost reading from a tablet.  I understand how games today are supposedly designed to add dexterity and to improve fine motor skills but how about all of us folks who became dexterous without the latest Wii game? I think we did really well and had the added benefit of healthy lungs, fit bodies, and a joy of sports and activity that I think is lacking today. And how about appreciation of nature, and smelling how fresh the air can be in a park, or watching the sun rise or set and feeling the droplets of rain on your face, all during outdoor activities.  Who can say that those experiences are not treasured memories that give that special glow to an otherwise sepia image of your childhood?

The point here is that I am reminded everyday, during those pleasurable times when I am busy, how great it is to be busy and how great it is to know what it means to also be simple as well.  And this is something I want for my kids too. Yes, I want them to be modern but I also want them to be unassuming and appreciative of things that they might overlook surrounded by technology.  I think this is important in creating open-minded, independent, discerning, and balanced individuals.

Do you embrace technology for your children or try to promote older activities?