Riley Schnepf, Author at Kids Ain't Cheap

5 Innocent Mistakes That Turn Into Lifelong Bad Habits

May 11, 2025 | Leave a Comment

No parent sets out to raise a child who avoids responsibility, struggles with boundaries, or depends on external validation. But the truth is, many of the behaviors we unknowingly reinforce during early childhood can quietly evolve into patterns that follow our kids well into adulthood.

These aren’t the big, obvious parenting missteps. They’re the small, well-meaning decisions we make, often out of love, convenience, or sheer exhaustion, that gradually lay the groundwork for lifelong bad habits. And because they seem harmless at first, we rarely question them until the consequences become harder to ignore.

So, what should you watch out for? Here are five innocent mistakes that may be forming habits your child will one day wish they hadn’t learned, plus how to redirect them with compassion, not guilt.

1. Rescuing Too Quickly from Failure

It’s painful to watch your child struggle. Whether it’s a tower of blocks that won’t stand or a forgotten homework assignment, the instinct to swoop in and fix things is strong, especially when time is tight, or emotions are high.

But when we consistently shield kids from the sting of mistakes or failure, we teach them a dangerous lesson: that discomfort should be avoided at all costs.

Over time, this can lead to:

Fear of trying new things
Low resilience in the face of setbacks
A need for constant validation or hand-holding

What to do instead: Let your child wrestle with frustration. Offer support without solving the problem. Say things like, “You’re really working hard on that. What’s your next step?” or “I know this feels tough. What’s something you’ve tried that helped before?” These moments build confidence far more than quick fixes do.

2. Using Screens as an Emotional Escape Hatch

We’ve all been there: the toddler meltdown in the checkout line, the restaurant boredom, the tired tears at the end of a long day. Handing over a tablet or phone can feel like a win for everyone. And occasionally, it is.

But if screens become the go-to comfort for emotional distress, boredom, or silence, kids start to miss out on essential emotional skills. They may never learn how to sit with discomfort, self-regulate, or creatively engage with the world around them.

What to do instead: Create a “calm-down corner” or carry sensory tools, books, or drawing pads for public meltdowns. Talk openly about feelings and offer simple coping strategies. Over time, these become far more effective and empowering than swiping away the discomfort.

3. Avoiding Conflict to Keep the Peace

It’s tempting to say yes when you want to say no. To offer one more snack, allow one more cartoon, or skip discipline to avoid tears. But in doing so, we often teach kids that boundaries are flexible and that big emotions are a ticket to getting their way.

This habit doesn’t just affect kids. It can grow into a lifelong difficulty with respecting limits, managing frustration, and accepting “no” with grace.

What to do instead: Hold firm with kindness. You can acknowledge feelings while keeping boundaries intact: “I know you’re upset you can’t have another cookie. I hear you. But we’ve already had our treat for today.” Conflict handled with calm consistency teaches emotional safety, not fear.

4. Doing Everything for Them in the Name of Love

There’s a fine line between helping and enabling. Doing tasks for your child that they could reasonably learn to do themselves—from putting away toys to zipping a jacket—may feel like an act of love, but it can quietly undermine their independence.

Kids who aren’t given age-appropriate responsibility often struggle with motivation, accountability, and self-confidence later in life. They may grow into adults who feel helpless in the face of challenges or depend on others to meet basic needs.

What to do instead: Start small. Teach routines, offer choices, and give them space to try (and fail). It may take longer in the beginning, but it fosters long-term competence. Even young toddlers can help with simple tasks like tidying or choosing between two outfits.

5. Rewarding Performance Over Effort

“You’re so smart!” “You’re the best at this!” While praise is essential, overemphasizing results, like grades, trophies, or talents, can plant the seeds of perfectionism and fragile self-worth. Kids begin to associate their value with outcomes instead of effort, character, or persistence.

This can lead to chronic anxiety, fear of failure, and an ongoing need for external validation in adulthood.

What to do instead: Focus on growth. Say things like, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on this” or “You kept trying even when it was hard—that’s a real strength.” Teach kids to connect pride with the process, not just the payoff.

Catching These Habits Early Without Shame

Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about awareness. These habits form gradually, and they can also be redirected gradually, with gentleness and intention. If you recognize one (or more) of these patterns in your home, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re paying attention.

Start with one small shift. Set a boundary. Let a struggle play out a bit longer. Praise a process instead of a product. Each moment adds up.

In the end, your goal isn’t to raise a child who never makes mistakes. It’s to raise one who learns from them, navigates emotion with grace, and enters adulthood with a toolkit, not a script.

Which of these habits have you seen in your home or in yourself? What small change are you working on right now with your child?

Are We Raising a Generation of Emotionally Fragile Kids?

Riley Schnepf

Riley is an Arizona native with over nine years of writing experience. From personal finance to travel to digital marketing to pop culture, she’s written about everything under the sun. When she’s not writing, she’s spending her time outside, reading, or cuddling with her two corgis.

Here’s What It Cost to Raise A Child in 1990

May 11, 2025 | Leave a Comment

In 1990, Vanilla Ice was topping the charts, kids were trading slap bracelets at recess, and parents were raising children at a fraction of today’s costs. The world felt different, and so did the price tag of parenting.

According to data from the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA), the average cost of raising a child from birth to age 18 in 1990 was about $120,000 to $150,000, depending on household income and region. That breaks down to roughly $6,700–$8,300 per year, a figure that feels almost quaint compared to today’s numbers.

Fast-forward to now, and that number has more than doubled. But why? What exactly were families paying for in 1990, and how has the financial burden shifted over the decades?

Let’s take a nostalgic but illuminating look back at what it really cost to raise a child in 1990, and what it tells us about how parenting has changed.

What That $120K–$150K Covered

Back in 1990, the USDA calculated the cost of raising a child based on key categories: housing, food, transportation, clothing, health care, child care and education, and miscellaneous expenses. Here’s how those costs played out in that era:

Housing (30–33% of the total)

Housing was the largest expense, even in the ’90s. But let’s put it into context: the average home price in 1990 was around $123,000, compared to over $430,000 today. Parents in 1990 weren’t immune to mortgage stress, but homeownership and space for growing families was far more attainable.

Food (15–20%)

With fewer convenience foods and smaller portion sizes, feeding a family in 1990 was less of a financial burden. Grocery prices were significantly lower: a gallon of milk cost around $2.15, and you could buy a loaf of bread for less than a dollar. Eating out was a treat, not a twice-weekly expectation.

Transportation (15%)

Most families owned one or two vehicles, and gas prices averaged $1.16 per gallon. Without the constant chauffeuring to extracurriculars, tutors, and events, car costs remained manageable. Plus, car insurance and maintenance fees were less steep across the board.

Clothing (5%)

Fast fashion hadn’t yet taken over, and kids weren’t being dressed like mini-influencers. Hand-me-downs were common. Name brands existed, but they weren’t seen as essential status symbols in most households. A typical pair of kids’ sneakers? About $25.

Health Care (5–10%)

Before the rise of high-deductible plans and co-pays, many families were insulated from major health expenses through employer-sponsored insurance. Out-of-pocket costs were lower, and fewer parents dealt with medical debt.

Child Care and Education (5–10%)

This is where we see one of the biggest contrasts. In 1990, far fewer households relied on full-time daycare, and preschool wasn’t universally considered essential. Many mothers were stay-at-home caregivers, either by choice or social expectation. Private school tuition existed, but it wasn’t the norm. Today, daycare alone can cost $10,000–$20,000 a year in many areas.

Miscellaneous (5–10%)

This included toys, books, entertainment, sports, and vacations. There were costs, but not subscriptions to 10 streaming services, not iPhones by age 9, not $300 gaming consoles for elementary schoolers. Simpler times, indeed.

What’s Changed and Why It Matters

Parenting today comes with far more pressure to spend. Social media amplifies expectations around birthday parties, home aesthetics, brand-name gear, and enrichment opportunities. And in many ways, society has shifted core costs—like education and healthcare—onto families’ shoulders.

Some major changes since 1990 include:

Child care has skyrocketed, with many dual-income families spending more on daycare than their mortgage.
College savings are now expected to start earlier, thanks to ballooning tuition costs.
Technology expenses didn’t exist in 1990—now, every kid “needs” a tablet, headphones, and a reliable internet connection.
The cost of “normal childhood” has been redefined, with families paying more to keep up, not necessarily to spoil.

In short, the price of childhood hasn’t just gone up. It’s expanded to include things parents never had to consider before.

Can Today’s Parents Learn Anything From 1990?

Yes, more than you might think. While we can’t time-travel to cheaper groceries or affordable housing, we can borrow from the 1990s mindset Here’s what that might look like:

Simplify where possible. Kids don’t need a new wardrobe every season or themed bedrooms. They need comfort, consistency, and confidence.
Say “no” to pressure spending. Not every trend deserves your wallet’s attention. Your child won’t remember the Pinterest-perfect lunchbox, but they will remember your presence.
Prioritize needs over optics. In 1990, parents focused more on stability and less on social comparison. That’s a value that still pays dividends.
Teach financial literacy. The more kids understand money from a young age, the more they’ll grow up appreciating what they have, not demanding what they don’t.

Looking Back and Thinking Ahead

There’s no denying that parenting has always been hard work and expensive. But 1990 offered a version of family life that felt slower, less pressured, and more grounded. As modern parents stare down five-figure daycare bills and screen-induced meltdowns, it’s easy to feel envious.

Still, the values of the ’90s—intentionality, simplicity, community—can absolutely find their way into 2025 family life. You don’t have to raise your kids in a time capsule to benefit from a few throwback priorities.

Do you remember how your parents handled back-to-school shopping, clothes, or birthday parties in the 90s? What’s changed most, and what lessons still stick with you today?

Can You Afford to Have Kids in 2025? Here’s What It Really Costs Per Year

Riley Schnepf

Why “Back to School” Shopping Feels Like a Mortgage Payment Now

May 11, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Remember when back-to-school shopping meant a new backpack, a couple of spiral notebooks, and maybe a cool lunchbox if you were lucky? Fast forward to 2025, and the price tag on school prep looks more like a down payment than a seasonal errand. For millions of families, August isn’t just the end of summer. It’s the beginning of budget stress.

So why does gearing up for school now rival a monthly mortgage? The answer isn’t just inflation (though that’s part of it). It’s a perfect storm of rising costs, shifting expectations, and a school system that’s quietly passing more of the financial burden to parents.

Let’s break down what’s changed and how families can push back without shortchanging their kids.

The Inflation Factor: Prices Just Aren’t What They Used to Be

It’s no surprise that inflation has made everything more expensive—from gas to groceries, and yes, to glue sticks and sneakers. But back-to-school shopping is getting hit on all sides. According to the National Retail Federation, families now spend over $890 per child for the new school year, up more than 30% in the past five years.

That includes clothes, tech, supplies, extracurricular fees, and those “voluntary” classroom contributions that somehow feel anything but optional.

Even basics like paper, pencils, and folders have seen price hikes. A $0.99 pack of crayons? Try $3.99. Multiply that across a growing list, and suddenly, you’re dipping into savings to send your child to second grade.

Tech Expectations Keep Climbing, And It’s Expensive

Gone are the days when a calculator was the most high-tech item in a kid’s backpack. Now, students are expected to have tablets, laptops, headphones, chargers, and reliable Wi-Fi at home.

Many districts provide devices, but not all. And if your school doesn’t (or yours breaks mid-year), it’s on you. Even “bring your own device” programs come with fine print: it must meet district specs, be compatible with specific learning platforms, and ideally be new enough to last the school year without crashing mid-assignment.

Parents of multiple kids? That’s double or triple the tech investment.

School Supply Lists Are Longer and More Outrageous

It used to be a short list: folders, glue, scissors, pencils, backpack. Now, it’s multi-page PDFs with brand-name requests (because they last longer), tissues, hand sanitizer, cleaning wipes, printer paper, headphones, and Ziploc bags in four sizes.

In many cases, these lists don’t just supply your child. They help stock the classroom for months. Teachers, underfunded and under-supported, rely on families to fill the gap. And while that’s a systemic problem worth solving, the short-term impact lands squarely on parents’ wallets.

Clothing Costs Add Up, Even Before You Get to the Shoes

Kids grow fast. Like, really fast. So back-to-school shopping almost always includes replacing outgrown or worn-down clothes from the year before. But with fast fashion being both ethically murky and increasingly pricey, many parents are stuck trying to find affordable, durable options without spending hundreds per child.

Add in school dress codes, special uniform policies, or “theme weeks” that require yet another round of costume-y outfits, and that budget just keeps ballooning.

And we haven’t even mentioned the shoes. Good luck getting out of a single pair under $60.

“Extras” Are Now Just… Expected

Classroom supplies and clothes aside, there’s the rise of extracurricular costs that seem to creep in earlier and earlier. Club fees. Sports uniforms. Instrument rentals. Field trip deposits. Fundraisers. Teacher gifts. Picture day. PTA donations. School spirit week. Birthday celebrations.

None of these things are mandatory, but parents know their child may feel left out if they don’t participate. So they stretch. They swipe the credit card. They dip into emergency funds just to keep up.

So What Can Parents Do?

No one wants their kid to start the school year feeling behind. But families are getting smarter about how they prep without going broke. Here’s what’s working:

Buy secondhand: Facebook Marketplace, local consignment shops, and even thrift stores often carry gently used backpacks, lunchboxes, and clothes for a fraction of the price.
Host supply swaps: Team up with other parents to trade extra items or hand-me-downs. You’ll be shocked at what’s sitting unused in someone’s closet.
Stick to the list (and ask questions): Don’t be afraid to ask your child’s teacher what’s truly necessary on that mile-long supply list. Often, the full quantity isn’t needed right away.
Stagger purchases: You don’t need everything on Day One. Prioritize the essentials and spread out purchases over the first few weeks to avoid one massive hit.
Set a back-to-school budget: And talk to your kids about it. It’s okay to say, “We’re spending X this year, so let’s choose the backpack or the shoes, not both.”

You’re Not Alone. This Isn’t Just You

If you’ve ever looked at your cart (physical or digital) and felt your stomach sink during back-to-school shopping, you’re far from alone. Parents across the country are asking the same thing: Why does it feel like we need a second job just to send our kids back to school?

It’s not your imagination. It’s a very real shift in how school support is structured and who’s paying for it. Until policy catches up, families are being left to find creative, compassionate ways to navigate it.

You don’t have to buy everything. You don’t have to keep up with everyone else. You just have to do your best to give your child what they need, not what social media says they should have.

How has back-to-school shopping changed for your family, and what budget hacks have helped you survive the sticker shock?

Are School Lunches Healthier Than What You Pack? The Answer May Surprise You

Riley Schnepf

5 Ways to Help Your Child When They Are Teething

May 10, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Teething: It’s one of those milestones that sounds sweet in theory but feels like a waking nightmare at 2 a.m. when your baby’s gums are swollen, their cries are sharp, and your sleep-deprived brain is frantically Googling “how long does teething last?”

Most babies start teething between 4 and 7 months, but symptoms can show up earlier. It’s not just about the teeth pushing through. It’s the inflammation, the drooling, the refusal to eat, the sudden crankiness, and, yes, the sleep disruptions. If your baby is chewing on everything in sight, has flushed cheeks, and is more irritable than usual, chances are a tooth is on the way.

So, how do you actually help your child through this grumpy, gum-aching stage? Here are five tried-and-true approaches to ease the pain without turning to solutions that only work on Instagram.

1. Cool Comfort for Sore Gums

When your baby is teething, their gums become inflamed and sensitive. One of the most effective ways to ease this discomfort is with something cool—literally.

Chilled (not frozen) teething rings can provide instant relief. So can a cold, damp washcloth gently chewed by your baby. You can even refrigerate a silicone pacifier or a peeled cucumber slice (if your baby has started solids) for safe, soothing pressure.

Avoid freezing teethers completely. Extremely cold items can damage the delicate tissues inside your baby’s mouth and do more harm than good. Think cool, not icy.

Also, don’t underestimate the power of clean fingers. Washed hands and a gentle gum massage with your knuckles can work wonders. Just be prepared for some impressive jaw strength from that tiny mouth.

2. Choose Teething Toys That Actually Help (Not Just Look Cute)

Not all teething toys are created equal. While many are made to be safe and chewable, some do little beyond serving as glorified baby accessories. The best teething toys are made of food-grade silicone, easy for little hands to grip, and have multiple textures to help massage sore gums.

Look for designs that can reach the back gums, where molars will come in later, too. A toy your baby can self-soothe with is worth its weight in gold during a rough teething week.

Pro tip: Rotate toys so your baby stays interested. Teething discomfort peaks and dips—having options helps.

3. Don’t Skip the Snuggles. Comfort Counts

This one may sound obvious, but it’s easy to forget when you’re running on fumes: your baby isn’t just in pain. They’re confused by what’s happening to their body. That’s where your presence matters more than any gadget or teething remedy.

Extra cuddles, skin-to-skin contact, rocking, and calm words can ease your baby’s nervous system. Sometimes, what they need most isn’t something to chew on. It’s just you.

This stage won’t last forever, but while you’re in it, embrace the snuggles. It helps both of you cope with the stress.

4. Explore Natural Remedies (With a Dose of Caution)

If you’re looking for holistic support, there are some natural remedies that families have sworn by for generations, like chilled chamomile tea on a washcloth or gentle herbal rubs (if approved by your pediatrician). Teething necklaces for parents to wear (not the baby!) can provide chew access during cuddles without posing a choking risk.

That said, always steer clear of amber teething necklaces on your child. Despite their popularity, they come with a serious risk of choking or strangulation and are not recommended by pediatricians. Avoid numbing gels with benzocaine, too. The FDA warns against them for babies due to rare but serious side effects.

When in doubt, stick with trusted, low-risk comfort measures, and talk to your child’s doctor before introducing anything new.

5. Know When to Use Pain Relief (And How to Use It Safely)

Sometimes, no amount of teething toys or snuggles will soothe a baby in the thick of it. If your little one is clearly in pain, your pediatrician might suggest using infant acetaminophen or ibuprofen (for babies over 6 months). Used occasionally and in the correct dosage, pain relief can be a safe and effective option during rough nights.

Always follow your doctor’s advice, and never guess the dosage based on age or size. And if you’re using any medication, keep it for the moments when nothing else has worked—so it remains effective when you truly need it.

Bonus Tip: Teething Doesn’t Explain Everything

Teething gets blamed for a lot—fevers, rashes, diarrhea—but it’s important to recognize what’s normal and what’s not. While mild temperature spikes can occur, a true fever (over 100.4°F), prolonged diarrhea, or rash requires a pediatric check-in. Don’t assume everything is “just teething.”

You’ve Got This (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

Teething can feel relentless, especially during those long nights when everyone’s sleep-deprived, and the baby just won’t settle. But this season, like so many in parenting, will pass. Your baby won’t remember the cranky days and late-night tears, but the comfort and care you gave? That will stick with them, even if they don’t have the words for it yet.

Give yourself grace, grab an extra cup of coffee, and remember: you’re doing a great job, even if your shirt is soaked in drool and you haven’t sat down in hours.

What’s been your go-to teething remedy that actually worked? Or is your baby in the thick of it right now?

7 Tools to Use When Your Baby Won’t Sleep Through the Night

Riley Schnepf

7 Weird Behaviors Of Your Child That Is Actually Self Soothing

May 10, 2025 | Leave a Comment

If you’ve ever watched your child spin in circles, hum to themselves nonstop, or rub the same blanket corner for 30 minutes straight, you’ve probably asked: What is going on?

At first glance, these quirky behaviors can seem concerning, like signs of hyperactivity, distraction, or even a developmental red flag. But in many cases, they’re nothing to panic over. In fact, they’re your child’s natural way of calming their nervous system and processing their emotions.

These odd little actions are called self-soothing behaviors, and they’re a crucial part of early emotional development.

Not sure what’s considered self-soothing? Don’t worry. We’re breaking down seven of the most common “weird” things kids do that are actually helping them feel safe, grounded, and regulated.

1. Spinning in Circles or Rocking

You might catch your child repeatedly spinning in place or rocking back and forth on their knees. It might look like overstimulation—but it’s often the opposite.

This type of repetitive movement, also known as “stimming” (short for self-stimulatory behavior), can be incredibly calming. It gives the brain predictable sensory input that helps kids manage big emotions or prevent themselves from feeling overwhelmed. Some kids rock before bedtime; others spin after a loud or chaotic moment.

Unless it’s interfering with their ability to function socially or physically, it’s usually nothing to worry about.

2. Humming, Repeating Words, or Making Noises

When your child repeats the same phrase over and over or makes low, rhythmic humming sounds while playing or thinking, it might seem odd. But this behavior can actually help them focus or regulate sensory input.

Vocal self-stimulation is another way kids manage their internal environment. It gives them a sense of control, especially if they’re anxious, overstimulated, or simply trying to stay in the moment.

It might not be what adults expect from “quiet time,” but for many children, these vocal habits are a form of mental organization and comfort.

3. Chewing on Sleeves, Pencils, or Hair

While it can feel frustrating to see yet another chewed-up shirt collar or find your child gnawing on their pencil eraser, oral sensory input is one of the most common self-soothing tools for kids.

Chewing can help regulate anxiety, aid concentration, or offer a grounding sensation when things feel overwhelming. It’s similar to how some adults bite their nails or chew gum when stressed.

If it becomes excessive, parents can introduce more durable or safe alternatives like silicone chew necklaces or sensory-safe fidgets to redirect the behavior.

4. Obsessively Carrying a Specific Object

You know the one: that random sock, old toy part, or ragged stuffed animal your child refuses to leave behind, even for a trip to the store.

To an adult, it looks like junk. But to your child, it’s an emotional anchor—a way to maintain continuity and comfort in a world that often feels unpredictable.

This kind of object attachment is developmentally appropriate and typically fades as children gain more coping skills. Instead of pushing them to give it up, try setting boundaries (“It can come in the car, but not into school”) while honoring the security it provides.

5. Lining Up Toys or Repeating Play Sequences

If your child insists on arranging their toy cars in perfect rows or playing the same imaginary game in the same exact order every day, it might be more than just a quirky habit. It might be emotional regulation through predictability.

Repetition gives children a sense of control. In a world where they have little say over their schedule, surroundings, or what’s for dinner, creating consistent, self-directed routines provides comfort.

As long as these patterns don’t become obsessive or interfere with social play, they’re usually nothing to worry about and might actually signal creative intelligence at work.

6. Staring Into Space or Getting “Lost” in Daydreams

To you, it might look like zoning out. To them, it’s a momentary escape.

Daydreaming is a powerful (and underrated) self-soothing tool. It helps kids mentally process experiences, recharge, or simply entertain themselves. If your child seems healthy, alert, and engaged most of the time, occasional mental drift is not only normal. It’s beneficial.

Rather than snapping them out of it, consider giving them quiet space to explore their thoughts. Not every moment needs to be productive or outwardly engaging.

7. Hiding in Small Spaces

From closets and under tables to pillow forts and empty laundry baskets, many kids instinctively seek out enclosed, cozy spaces when they’re overwhelmed. It’s their version of a sensory reset.

Small spaces can feel safe and predictable. For some children, reducing visual and auditory input helps them settle down faster than being comforted by another person.

Parents can encourage this healthy self-regulation by creating quiet “cozy corners” or calm-down zones with soft pillows, books, and familiar objects.

When to Seek Support

While many self-soothing behaviors are completely developmentally appropriate, it’s important to keep an eye on frequency, intensity, and function. If a certain behavior seems compulsive, escalates into self-harm, or prevents your child from functioning socially or emotionally, it’s worth bringing up with a pediatrician or child therapist.

Self-soothing is about balance. Healthy behaviors help children manage stress, not avoid the world completely.

Let Their Weird Be Wonderful

It’s easy to mistake odd habits as signs of misbehavior or something to “fix.” But when you understand your child’s weird behaviors for what they are (attempts to self-regulate), you can support them without unnecessary shame or correction.

Instead of rushing in to stop the spinning, silence the hums, or replace the worn-out blanket, pause. Ask yourself: What need is my child trying to meet?

By embracing their unique rhythms, you’re not just helping them feel safe in the moment. You’re teaching them lifelong tools for emotional resilience.

What’s one “weird” thing your child does that you’ve come to recognize as self-soothing? Has it changed the way you respond?

Biting, Hitting, Kicking: Managing Aggressive Toddler Behavior with Confidence and Compassion

Riley Schnepf

The Great Digital Debate: How Much Screen Time Is Really Okay for Kids Now?

May 10, 2025 | Leave a Comment

A decade ago, “screen time” mostly referred to cartoons before dinner or weekend video games. Fast forward to 2025, and screens are now where your child learns math, FaceTimes Grandma, watches cartoons, and maybe even unwinds with yoga apps. As parenting has evolved with technology, so has the ongoing debate: How much screen time is too much—and what’s actually okay?

The old-school warnings that “screens will rot your brain” haven’t aged well, especially as devices became a survival tool during global shutdowns, remote learning, and everyday parenting. But even with educational apps and wholesome content, many parents still feel like they’re walking a tightrope between raising a tech-savvy kid and nurturing a healthy, present one.

Let’s explore where expert opinion stands now—and how you can set boundaries that make sense in today’s digital-first world.

What the Guidelines Say (and Why They’re Changing)

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) used to recommend that children under two should avoid screens entirely. But that was before video chatting became a daily norm, and toddlers started swiping before they could speak. The current AAP guidelines are more nuanced: for kids 2 to 5, limit screen use to one hour per day of high-quality programming, and for older kids, focus on balance rather than strict time limits.

But even those recommendations are shifting in spirit. Why? Because screen time today isn’t one-size-fits-all. Not all screen time is created equal, and parents are increasingly being encouraged to consider what their child is doing on a screen, not just how long.

Educational apps, creative platforms, interactive learning tools, and connection-driven media (like video chats) are vastly different from passive scrolling or hours of YouTube rabbit holes. A 2025 kindergartener might use a tablet to learn phonics with an AI tutor or design simple animations—far from “mindless” entertainment.

Red Flags vs. Reasonable Use

So how do you know if your child’s screen time is helping or hurting? Experts suggest watching for certain behaviors:

Red flag: Your child becomes irritable, anxious, or withdrawn when the screen is taken away.
Red flag: They’re missing out on physical play, sleep, or real-world social interaction.
Red flag: Screens are regularly used as the only tool for calming tantrums or managing boredom.

By contrast, screen time becomes more acceptable (and even beneficial) when it’s:

Interactive, not passive
Encouraging learning or creativity
Shared with a caregiver (think co-watching a nature doc or building something in Minecraft together)
Balanced with physical play, imaginative activities, and in-person connection

It’s also worth noting that how screen time ends matters just as much as how it begins. Sudden, abrupt endings with no warning can trigger meltdowns. But giving kids a heads-up (“5 more minutes, then we’ll eat”) helps train emotional regulation—and prevents the dreaded post-screen tantrum.

What Real-Life Screen Balance Looks Like

Perfect balance doesn’t exist, especially for working parents or caregivers juggling multiple kids. However, many families are finding success with a few realistic shifts.

Instead of counting exact minutes, focus on creating screen boundaries around certain parts of the day. For instance, screens off one hour before bedtime, or no phones at the table.

Other parents use “screen swaps,” where screen time is earned through activity-based trade-offs like playing outside, reading, or helping with a household task. Not as a bribe, but as a rhythm: first we do this, then we do that.

Some families embrace tech-free zones (bedrooms, bathrooms, and the dinner table) to reclaim small pockets of undistracted time. This helps protect sleep, build stronger family rituals, and preserve attention spans that are often stretched thin.

And perhaps most importantly, modeling matters. If your child sees you glued to your phone during every moment of stillness, they internalize that as normal. But if they also see you put it down to read, stretch, or listen attentively, you’re teaching balance in action.

When Screen Time Becomes a Crutch (And How to Shift)

Let’s be honest: screens can feel like a lifeline on hard parenting days. They give us space to cook dinner, take a breath, or make it through a public meltdown without judgment. That’s okay. You’re human.

But when screen time becomes the default, it’s worth gently auditing your own habits and household rhythms. Are screens filling a gap where connection, structure, or play used to live? Are they solving a short-term need but creating long-term disconnection?

If yes, try building in transitional tools, like sensory bins, fidget toys, or story podcasts, that give your child something to focus on without a screen. These options often buy you the same “parent breathing room” while also reducing dependence on the dopamine spike screens deliver.

Digital Literacy Starts Early

The goal isn’t just less screen time. It’s smarter screen time. Teaching kids how to use technology thoughtfully, responsibly, and creatively is one of the most important parenting tasks today. That means talking openly about online ads, privacy, cyberbullying, and how algorithms work, all at age-appropriate levels.

It also means giving kids digital agency: letting them help choose educational apps, creating art projects from things they saw online, or even learning to code in safe, guided platforms. When kids see screens as tools instead of entertainment crutches, they grow up less likely to be ruled by them.

Quality Over Quantity

There’s no perfect formula for screen time in 2025 because families, kids, and lifestyles are all different. The key is to shift the focus away from guilt and toward intentionality. Ask yourself:

Is this screen time adding value or just passing time?
Is it crowding out connection or enhancing it?
Is my child in control, or is the screen?

When screens support your values, serve your family rhythms, and fuel creativity or calm, not chaos, they can absolutely be part of a healthy childhood.

How do you manage screen time in your house, and what’s been the biggest surprise for your family along the way?

The Dangers of Screen Addiction and How to Set Healthy Limits

Riley Schnepf

9 Creepy Red Flags That a Daycare Isn’t Safe

May 10, 2025 | Leave a Comment

As a parent, choosing a daycare can feel like handing your heart over to strangers. You do the research, tour the facility, read every review, and still wonder, “What if I missed something?”

Here’s the truth: some of the most troubling daycare environments don’t look suspicious at first glance. They might have polished websites, smiling staff, and all the right certifications framed on the wall. But dig a little deeper, and certain unsettling signs begin to surface. These aren’t just quirks. They’re red flags—subtle, often ignored indicators that something may be off.

Trusting your gut matters. But so does knowing exactly what to watch for. Here are nine signs that a daycare might not be as safe or nurturing as it claims to be.

1. The Staff Turnover Is Shockingly High

Every business experiences turnover. But if you’re hearing that multiple staff members have quit in the past few months or worse if the person who gave you the tour isn’t there a week later, it’s worth asking why. Constantly changing faces means less consistency for your child and may suggest deeper problems behind the scenes, such as toxic management or staff burnout.

Consistency matters for kids. And a revolving door of caregivers doesn’t just disrupt routines. It often points to unhappy employees, which can spill into the care they provide.

2. You’re Not Allowed to Drop In Unexpectedly

Some daycares encourage open-door policies. Others strictly limit when you can visit or ask that you give advance notice. That might sound reasonable until you realize transparency is a key part of trust. If a center is uncomfortable with spontaneous visits or rushes to steer you away from certain rooms or times of day, it’s a red flag. Safe, well-run daycares have nothing to hide.

3. The Kids Don’t Look Engaged or Content

You can learn a lot just by observing the children. Are they interacting happily, or do they seem bored, withdrawn, or emotionally flat? Are they constantly crying, with no one responding? While occasional fussing is normal, an overall atmosphere of distress or apathy is not. If you leave a tour with a knot in your stomach because the kids didn’t seem happy or comforted, listen to that instinct.

4. There’s No Clear Emergency Plan or Staff Don’t Know It

Ask what happens in an emergency—a fire, a lockdown, or a severe weather event. If the answer is vague or the staff seems uncertain, that’s deeply concerning. Daycares should have clearly documented plans for every type of emergency, and staff should be able to explain those procedures without hesitation. The safety of your child can’t be an afterthought.

5. You Can’t See All Areas Where Kids Spend Time

Any room your child could spend time in should be accessible or visible during your visit. If doors are closed, cameras “aren’t working,” or you’re told certain rooms are off-limits, ask why. A facility committed to transparency should have nothing to hide, and all areas should meet the same safety and cleanliness standards.

6. The Caregiver-to-Child Ratio Is Out of Whack

There are state regulations for how many children each adult can care for at a time, depending on age. But even within legal limits, some daycares stretch their staff thin, and it shows.

If you notice one adult juggling eight toddlers, or if you see frequent chaos instead of structured activity, it could be a sign they’re not adequately staffed. This doesn’t just affect supervision. It impacts everything from diaper changes to emotional care.

7. You’re Dismissed or Talked Over When You Ask Questions

A quality daycare welcomes your questions. If you’re met with irritation, deflection, or vague reassurances like “Oh, don’t worry about that,” take note. A provider who brushes off your concerns now may not take your child’s needs seriously later. You deserve honest, respectful answers. Your child deserves caregivers who partner with you, not gatekeepers who discourage involvement.

8. There Are No Clear Policies, or They’re Never Enforced

A good daycare will have clear, written policies for everything: discipline, illness, late pickups, medication, and more. But having policies isn’t enough. They must also be consistently followed. If one staff member tells you something different from another, or if you notice kids eating snacks or watching screens in ways that contradict the rules, it’s time to question the center’s accountability.

9. Your Child’s Behavior Changes in Concerning Ways

Sometimes, the biggest red flag is the one you notice at home. Does your child cry excessively before drop-off, act out in new ways, or suddenly become withdrawn? Behavioral changes can signal stress, discomfort, or even fear.

While transitions to daycare can be bumpy, persistent or severe shifts in mood or behavior deserve your full attention. Don’t let anyone tell you, “It’s just a phase,” if your gut says otherwise.

Don’t Second-Guess Your Instincts. They’re Built for This

The reality is that most daycares aren’t horror stories waiting to happen. But some are less safe than they appear, and spotting those signs early can make all the difference for your child’s well-being.

Remember: you’re not being “that parent” by asking questions, requesting transparency, or pulling your child out if something feels off. You’re being the protector your child counts on. Trust is earned, not assumed, and any facility worthy of your child will welcome your scrutiny with open arms.

Have you ever toured a daycare that left you uneasy? What signs made you pause or walk away completely?

Riley Schnepf

What Parenting Influencers Don’t Tell You About the Cost of That Trend

May 8, 2025 | Leave a Comment

From color-coordinated toy shelves to matching family outfits and organic snack stations, social media makes modern parenting look like an aesthetic dream. But behind those dreamy nursery tours and curated lunchboxes lies something far less photogenic: the real cost.

Parenting influencers, especially those with hundreds of thousands of followers, aren’t just sharing their lives; they’re running a business. And that gorgeous playroom you’re admiring? It may have been gifted. That Montessori shelf setup? Sponsored. And that beach vacation where the kids are in matching neutral tones? Likely part of a brand deal.

Yet the pressure trickles down. Regular moms and dads scroll through these posts and subconsciously absorb the message: This is what good parenting looks like. And too often, they’re paying for it in quiet ways—financially, mentally, and emotionally.

Let’s talk about the hidden costs behind those parenting trends and why chasing them might be more expensive than you think.

The Highlight Reel Is Often a Freebie

The first thing to understand is that most top parenting influencers aren’t buying what they’re promoting. Companies send them high-end products in exchange for visibility. That $600 stroller, $300 sensory kit, or fully customized closet system? Comped.

But for parents outside the influencer bubble, trying to replicate those setups can drain a budget fast. You’re buying something someone else was paid to show off without getting the paycheck or perks that made it feasible in the first place.

Even worse, the prices aren’t always transparent. Affiliate links often lead to inflated versions of basic items, marketed as “must-haves” that elevate your parenting game.

The truth: If you’re stretching your budget to mimic a room reveal or lunch prep video, you’re likely chasing a fantasy someone else was paid to create.

The Trend Cycle Is Short and Costly

One week, wooden rainbow stackers are all over your feed. The next it’s muted silicone everything. Parenting trends move fast, and influencers are encouraged to pivot with them to keep their content relevant. But if you’re not getting items sent for free, keeping up can cost a fortune.

Trendy items also tend to be niche, which means they’re often more expensive than their mainstream counterparts. You’re paying extra for the aesthetic, usually without any meaningful benefit to your child’s development or well-being.

And when the trend inevitably shifts, that pricey purchase can start collecting dust. Now you’re left wondering why you spent so much on something that was more about likes than longevity.

“Minimalist” Parenting? It’s Rarely Cheap

One of the biggest illusions influencers sell is the idea of intentional minimalism. You’ve probably seen the posts: just a few open-ended toys, neutral decor, and lots of natural wood. It looks peaceful, organized, and purposeful.

But minimalist parenting done the influencer way is anything but cheap. That hand-carved balance board? $140. The felt ball garland draped just so over a vintage crib? $80. The curated book display that rotates seasonally? You’re looking at $200 in children’s literature per quarter.

Real minimalism is about simplifying, not replacing every plastic toy with an “aesthetic” version that triples the cost.

Time Is a Hidden Currency, Too

Many influencer trends require a serious time commitment: hand-making sensory bins, meal-prepping Instagram-worthy lunches, or creating “learning stations” at home. They’re labor-intensive and often unrealistic for working parents, parents of multiple children, or caregivers without extra support.

But what we don’t see behind the scenes are the photographers, editors, assistants, or even nannies who make these time-consuming setups possible for influencers. You may be trying to DIY your way through an influencer-worthy lifestyle on your own while they have a quiet team behind the scenes.

If you’re sacrificing rest, real connection with your child, or your mental health to keep up, that’s a high price to pay for content that was never meant to reflect real life.

Your Kids Don’t Need It. They Need You

Here’s the most important truth influencers rarely mention: your child doesn’t care whether their toys match the living room rug. They don’t notice if their lunch is shaped like a panda. And they won’t remember whether you had a curated toy rotation.

What they will remember is whether you were present. Whether you laughed with them, listened to them, and loved them for who they are—not how photogenic your parenting looked on Instagram.

So, if you’re feeling the pull to buy, do, and recreate everything you see online, pause and ask: Is this really for my child, or am I chasing approval from strangers on the internet?

Choose Reality Over Aesthetic Pressure

It’s okay to enjoy a little inspiration online. There’s nothing wrong with making your space feel beautiful or investing in tools that truly make parenting easier. But be mindful of the difference between inspiration and expectation.

Social media isn’t real life. It’s edited, filtered, and polished. And if you’re spending money to keep up with people who are being paid to create content, you’re not behind. You’re just being sold a fantasy.

Before you hit “buy now,” take a breath. Look around at your real, wonderful, messy life. If your child is safe, loved, and smiling, more than not, you’re already doing it right.

Have you ever bought something because of a parenting trend online and later regretted it? What’s one trend you wish you’d skipped?

8 Parenting Trends That Sound Great (But Might Be Hurting Your Kids)

Riley Schnepf

5 Inexpensive Ways to Pay For Your Child’s Braces

May 8, 2025 | Leave a Comment

When your child’s dentist delivers the news—“They’re going to need braces”—it can feel like someone just dropped a $6,000 bill in your lap. Orthodontic care is rarely cheap, and for families already juggling sports fees, school supplies, and daily expenses, it can feel overwhelming.

But while braces are a major investment, they don’t have to break your budget or send you into debt. The good news? You’ve got more options than you think.

From flexible financing to creative savings strategies, here are five smart, budget-friendly ways to pay for your child’s braces without sacrificing your peace of mind or your rainy-day fund.

1. Use a Health Savings Account (HSA) or Flexible Spending Account (FSA)

If you or your spouse has access to an HSA or FSA through work, this could be your golden ticket. These accounts let you set aside pre-tax dollars specifically for medical expenses—including braces.

Even better, you’ll reduce your taxable income in the process, meaning the IRS gives you a bit of a break just for planning ahead.

HSAs typically roll over from year to year, while FSAs often have a “use it or lose it” clause. That means you’ll want to time the orthodontic consultation wisely, especially if your child is nearing the age when braces become medically necessary.

Tip: Call your benefits provider or orthodontist’s billing department to confirm that braces qualify under your specific plan before you commit.

2. Explore In-House Payment Plans (No Interest Required)

Most orthodontists know that families can’t just write a check for several thousand dollars, and many of them don’t expect you to.

That’s why many clinics offer in-house financing, often interest-free, that breaks the cost into manageable monthly payments. These plans can range from 12 to 36 months and don’t typically require credit checks.

This is a particularly helpful route for families without access to credit cards, loans, or third-party financing. Just be sure to read the fine print: some plans may require a down payment or add late fees for missed payments.

Ask directly: “Do you offer interest-free payment plans, and are there discounts for paying upfront?” You may be surprised how willing some offices are to work with you.

3. Shop Around for Orthodontists (Yes, It’s Allowed)

Not all orthodontists charge the same rates, and the differences can be significant. Geographic region, clinic overhead, and treatment length all influence the price tag, which means you’re not locked into the first estimate you receive.

It’s perfectly reasonable to schedule two or three free consultations with different providers. Ask for a written treatment plan that outlines the estimated cost, payment options, and how long your child is expected to wear braces.

Bonus tip: Dental schools and orthodontic training programs often offer significantly reduced rates because the procedures are done by students under the supervision of licensed professionals. It might take a little longer, but the savings can be dramatic.

4. Consider Dental Discount Plans

If you don’t have dental insurance or your plan doesn’t cover orthodontics, consider signing up for a dental discount program.

Unlike insurance, these aren’t reimbursement-based. Instead, they offer discounted rates at participating providers in exchange for a low monthly or annual fee. Some plans reduce the cost of braces by as much as 25–40%.

These programs typically don’t involve deductibles, waiting periods, or approval processes. Just sign up, find a participating orthodontist, and show your membership at your visit.

Before you enroll, make sure your chosen orthodontist accepts the plan and that the discount applies to comprehensive orthodontic treatment, not just exams or cleanings.

5. Get Creative With Community Resources and Employer Perks

Believe it or not, there are nontraditional funding sources that many families overlook. For example:

Some employers offer orthodontic coverage as part of their benefits package, even if it’s not included in your dental plan. It’s worth asking your HR department or reviewing your benefits booklet closely.
Charitable organizations and nonprofits, like Smiles Change Lives or the Smile for a Lifetime Foundation, offer heavily discounted orthodontic care for families who qualify financially.
Credit unions or local banks often provide low-interest personal loans specifically for medical or dental care. These rates are usually better than credit card interest and can be more flexible than in-office financing.

If your child’s need for braces is severe and negatively affecting their speech, nutrition, or mental health, you can also talk to your dentist about writing a medical necessity letter. This can sometimes help you appeal for partial insurance reimbursement or qualify for community assistance programs.

Affordability Is About Strategy, Not Sacrifice

You don’t have to empty your emergency fund or go without other essentials just to straighten your child’s teeth. With a little planning, patience, and research, you can find a payment path that fits your family’s reality, not just the orthodontist’s ideal.

Don’t be afraid to negotiate, compare options, or ask questions. The more informed you are, the less stressful the process becomes and the more likely your child walks away with a healthy, confident smile that didn’t leave you drowning in debt.

What’s been the most surprising part of your orthodontic journey so far—cost, options, or how your child is handling it?

Healthcare for Your Child: Understanding Insurance, Costs, and Ways to Save

Riley Schnepf

8 Cat Names Inspired by Legendary Sass

May 8, 2025 | Leave a Comment

You know that look your cat gives you—the one that says, “You may live here, but I rule this house”? If your feline exudes more attitude than a reality TV reunion, it’s time to give them a name that matches the drama. Forget the cutesy, overused choices. The world has enough “Mittens” and “Whiskers.” Your cat demands something with bite, flair, and a legacy of legendary sass.

Whether you’re naming a kitten or rebranding a rescue, these bold, inspired names draw from history, pop culture, and unapologetic icons who never lowered their volume for anyone.

1. Mae (West)

If your cat struts through the house like she owns it and always seems to have a flirtatious glint in her eye, Mae is a top-tier choice. Named after Mae West, the early Hollywood siren who built a career on double entendres, wit, and refusing to conform—this name is perfect for a cat with vintage glam and a wicked sense of timing.

Mae was known for saying, “I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it,” which sounds eerily similar to how your cat treats the kitchen counter.

2. Divine

For the feline who walks like a queen, stares like a villain, and flips her tail like she’s in a full-length fur coat, Divine fits like a (feathered) glove. Named after the late drag legend and cult film star, this name is ideal for cats who make a dramatic entrance, sabotage your houseplants with flair, and aren’t afraid to give side-eye with meaning.

Divine didn’t just break rules. She set new ones. If your cat does the same, welcome to your new favorite name.

3. Medusa

Not for the faint of heart, Medusa is ideal for cats who slink silently into a room and paralyze everyone with a single stare. Historically feared and misunderstood, Medusa is a nod to power, mystery, and that certain untouchable energy that some cats naturally possess.

If your cat makes your guests nervous (but still refuses to be ignored), she’s channeling full-on mythological bad-girl vibes, and Medusa will suit her just fine.

4. Lucille (Ball)

Don’t let the red curls fool you. Lucille Ball was one of the shrewdest businesswomen in entertainment history. A queen of physical comedy and sass who paved the way for women in television, “Lucille” is perfect for a cat who’s chaotic in the best way. You know the type: knocks things off counters just to see what happens, chirps at birds with sass, and somehow ends up tangled in your laundry.

If she’s mischievous and magnetic, this name gives her the legacy she deserves.

5. Morrissey

Broody, dramatic, poetic—if your cat lounges like she’s heartbroken and purrs like she’s plotting a comeback album, Morrissey might just be her vibe. Inspired by the singer of The Smiths (and his famously opinionated persona), this name is perfect for a cat with an air of mystery, a touch of diva, and an unshakable disdain for Monday mornings.

Bonus: it works for male cats, too, especially those who sigh before they meow.

6. Zsa Zsa

Hungarian-American socialite Zsa Zsa Gabor was known for her diamonds, her nine marriages, and her unapologetic sass. If your cat treats your living room like a palace and your lap like a throne, she’s practically begging to be named Zsa Zsa. This name radiates vintage Hollywood glam and just enough drama to make it iconic.

Extra credit if she gives slow blinks like air kisses and slaps you (lovingly) when you stop petting her.

7. Joan (Rivers)

No list of sassy names would be complete without a nod to Joan Rivers. This comedy legend built her entire career on unfiltered opinions and fearless punchlines. Got a cat who chirps, meows, and seems to “talk back” every time you scold her? One that refuses to be ignored and dramatically flops on the floor when she doesn’t get her way?

Name her Joan. She earned it.

8. Yzma

If your cat has ever plotted to overthrow your authority while lounging in luxury, Yzma (from Disney’s The Emperor’s New Groove) is a flawless fit. Equal parts villainous, clever, and fabulous, this character was iconic for her sarcastic one-liners, eyebrow raises, and ability to look drop-dead stunning while scheming.

Yzma is for the cat who knocks your drink off the table on purpose, then waits for applause.

The Name Should Match the Attitude

Choosing a name for your cat isn’t just about labeling. It’s about capturing personality. If your fur baby walks like she’s on a runway, naps like royalty, and stares down your guests like a nightclub bouncer, she deserves a name that tells the world exactly who she is.

You live with a four-legged legend. Now, give her a name to match.

Which sassy icon would inspire your cat’s name?

Pet Parents vs. Kid Parents: Is There Really a Difference?

Riley Schnepf