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Our Family Bed – A Solution for Sleep

February 26, 2013 | 2 Comments

family bedThis is a post I never thought I would write. A family bed was a totally foreign concept to me before having a baby. I didn’t know that people choose to sleep with their child – that it was a thing. If you had asked me before having a child if they would sleep with us, I would think you were crazy and quickly answer, no. My husband and I didn’t intentionally set out to establish a family bed with our daughter, it just sort of happened.  I learned firsthand the importance of sleep and structure.

 

How Our Family Bed Started…

It started while I was in the hospital recovering from my cesarean section. Our new baby was in the bassinet beside my hospital bed, my husband asleep in his bed near my feet. Baby girl would wake and I would need to nurse her. Shifting, even a little after my surgery was difficult, only complicated more by tubes and wires. I didn’t want to wake my husband knowing I needed him on his A-game during the daytime. I had access to nurses but at 2am I decided their skills were better for new moms who needed them beyond passing a baby. I reached for her one last time and brought her into my bed, propped with pillows and tight in my arms, we both fell asleep almost instantly.

We came home and quickly realized I would not be able to sleep in our bed for a least a few days. Our bed is quite high off the ground and even with the help of a stool I couldn’t easily pull myself in bed. I decided to sleep on our couch until I regained more strength and have the baby in her bassinet beside me.

After about ten days, I was finally able to get into my bed and moved the bassinet in our room where we all slept. I knew I wanted our baby close for the first few months but didn’t realize how close I wanted her.

Our baby girl was very predictable, waking every three hours on the dot. She would wake in the night and I would lift her out of her bassinet, carry her to the chair where I would nurse her and rock her back to sleep praying that she didn’t wake as soon as she was out of my arms and back in her bassinet.

From the time we both woke until the time I crawled back into bed was at least  45 minutes. I didn’t mind initially, fulling expecting and accepting lost sleep with a baby. Problem being that baby girl was starting to wake almost every 2 hours with little sleep between wake times. We were both exhausted.

After a few weeks of rocking and praying for her to sleep, one especially exhausting night I couldn’t find the strength in me to wake up and move for our normal routine. I picked her up out of her bassinet, laid her down beside me to nurse where she ate and we both quickly fell back asleep. I could sleep on my side curled around her, it was great. In terms of comfort, the side is usually the best sleeping position, but can vary depending on the person. We all, husband included, slept great that night.

 

Getting Back Sleep With The Family Bed

This was the beginning. I would try her in the bassinet but usually ended up moving her in with us so we could all sleep. Baby girl and I would both continue to slightly wake when she would eat but never fully and never for long. It wasn’t long that we all grew to love our sleeping arrangement and I would put her down for the night in our bed, hours before my husband and I were ready for bed.

Today she is eight months old and this is still how we sleep the majority of the time. She now goes to bed in her crib but when she wakes during the night I don’t fight her. If I can’t get her back to sleep in a reasonable time, she comes to bed with us. I’ve accepted that there is no perfect solution for every family and for us, this works. She’s growing so fast I know I’ll appreciate the closeness that we’re sharing, as a family,  in her early days. I love waking to her slobbery kisses and blabbering.

Do you have a family bed at home?  Did you try it when nursing?

Read More:

Choosing a Bed: Sleep Number vs Tempurpedic

Catherine
Catherine

Catherine is a first time momma to a rambunctious toddler. When she isn’t soaking up all that motherhood has to offer, you can find her blogging over at Plunged in Debt where she chronicles her and her husbands journey out of debt. You can also follow her on Twitter.

plungedindebt.com

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Bed, Co-sleeping, family bed, Sleep, The Family Bed

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Basic Principles Of Good Parenting

Here some basic principles for good parenting:

  1. What You Do Matters: Your kids are watching you. So, be purposeful about what you want to accomplish.
  2. You Can’t be Too Loving: Don’t replace love with material possessions, lowered expectations or leniency.
  3. Be Involved Your Kids Life: Arrange your priorities to focus on what your kid’s needs. Be there mentally and physically.
  4. Adapt Your Parenting: Children grow quickly, so keep pace with your child’s development.
  5. Establish and Set Rules: The rules you set for children will establish the rules they set for themselves later.  Avoid harsh discipline and be consistent.
  6. Explain Your Decisions: What is obvious to you may not be evident to your child. They don’t have the experience you do.
  7. Be Respectful To Your Child: How you treat your child is how they will treat others.  Be polite, respectful and make an effort to pay attention.
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11 Ways Kids Are Outsmarting Parental Controls 1. Using Alternate Devices One common trick is simply turning to another device. If a child’s main phone or tablet is restricted, they may borrow a sibling’s, friend’s, or even a school laptop. This instantly gives them access to content outside of parental oversight. Parents often focus on one device, forgetting that others in the household can serve as loopholes. Knowing this tactic helps families tighten controls across all electronics. 2. Clearing Browsing Histories Many kids quickly learn that clearing browsing history hides evidence of restricted activity. With just a few clicks, they can erase any trace of websites visited. This makes it harder for parents to notice when rules are being broken. Parents may assume no history means no browsing, but the reality is often the opposite. Kids are outsmarting parental controls by making it seem like nothing happened at all. 3. Using Private Browsing Modes Most browsers offer “incognito” or private browsing features. Kids use this mode to access websites without leaving a record in the history. To parents checking later, everything looks clean and safe. This simple trick is often one of the first ways kids discover how to bypass restrictions. Conversations about private browsing can help close this gap. 4. Guessing or Resetting Passwords Children who are persistent may try to guess passwords to parental control apps or accounts. Others may find ways to reset them through email prompts or security questions. Once inside, they can disable restrictions entirely. Parents may not even realize controls have been altered until much later. Stronger, less predictable passwords can make this more difficult. 5. Using VPNs to Hide Activity Virtual private networks, or VPNs, let kids disguise their online locations. With one downloaded app, they can bypass geographic or parental restrictions. Some children learn about VPNs through friends or even social media. This makes it easy for them to reach content that should be blocked. Parents often underestimate just how simple it is for kids to use these tools. 6. Creating Fake Accounts When parents monitor social media, kids may create hidden accounts. These “finstas” or fake profiles allow them to interact freely without parental oversight. While their main account appears harmless, the secondary one tells a different story. Kids are outsmarting parental controls by playing both sides at once. Checking for duplicate accounts can help parents stay more aware. 7. Exploiting Time Zone Settings Some kids change the time zone on their devices to bypass screen time limits. This trick allows them to gain extra hours of usage undetected. Parents may assume controls are working, but in reality, the child is bending the clock. It’s a clever loophole that highlights just how resourceful kids can be. Monitoring device settings regularly can catch this tactic. 8. Disabling or Uninstalling Apps Parental control apps can be deleted or disabled with surprising ease. Some kids even reinstall them before a parent checks, making it seem like nothing changed. Others may simply restrict permissions to prevent apps from functioning properly. When apps aren’t monitored closely, parents may not notice they’ve been tampered with. This shows the importance of consistent follow-up. 9. Turning to Friends for Access If a child can’t get past restrictions on their own, they may rely on friends. Visiting a friend’s house or borrowing their phone can give them a free pass. Parents often forget that peer environments can override restrictions set at home. This kind of social workaround is especially common with gaming or social media. Open conversations about trust and responsibility are essential. 10. Hiding Apps in Plain Sight Kids sometimes download apps that look innocent but serve as gateways to hidden activity. These apps may disguise themselves as calculators or utilities. In reality, they allow file storage, private messaging, or browser access. Parents glancing at a home screen may overlook them entirely. Learning to recognize these disguised apps can help parents stay informed. 11. Outpacing Parents’ Tech Knowledge Finally, kids often know more about devices than their parents do. Whether through YouTube tutorials, TikTok hacks, or peer groups, they quickly learn advanced workarounds. This knowledge gap means controls can be bypassed before parents even realize the loophole exists. Staying informed and continually learning about new technology is the best defense. Kids are outsmarting parental controls because they adapt faster than most adults. The Real Solution Lies Beyond Restrictions While controls and filters are important, no system is perfect. Kids will always find creative ways around barriers, making communication the strongest safeguard. Setting clear expectations, building trust, and having ongoing conversations about online behavior matter more than apps alone. Parents who combine technology with open dialogue create a safer digital environment. The goal isn’t to win a battle of wits but to build a relationship that keeps kids both safe and honest. Do you think kids are outsmarting parental controls faster than parents can keep up? Share your experiences in the comments below. What to Read Next... 6 Parenting Tech Shortcuts That Can Expose Your Child to Strangers How Much Screen Time Is Too Much—Legally Speaking? Is Your Child’s School Quietly Tracking Their Location Without Your Consent? How Much Screen Time Is Quietly Reshaping Childhood Behavior? Why Some Parents Are Being Investigated Over Homeschooling Records

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