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Why Some Regret Moving to the Suburbs

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a quiet suburban neighborhood, looking contemplative or uncertain, with rows of similar houses and empty sidewalks
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For many families, moving to the suburbs sounds like the ultimate parenting win—more space, quieter neighborhoods, and (hopefully) better schools. The decision is often made with love and big-picture planning in mind. But not all stories of suburban bliss end happily ever after. In fact, some families find themselves reevaluating the move soon after unpacking. If you’re considering swapping city energy for a suburban zip code—or if you’ve already made the leap and found it doesn’t quite feel like home—here are five reasons why some parents end up with suburban sticker shock.

1. It’s Harder Than You Think to Rebuild Your Social Network

One common regret families share is the unexpected sense of isolation. In cities, people often build tight-knit communities through local cafés, parent groups, or impromptu meet-ups at the neighborhood park. In many suburban areas, however, neighbors keep to themselves, and forging new friendships can be unexpectedly tough. This emotional disconnection hits particularly hard if you’re adjusting to remote work or staying home. The result? A lonely feeling many didn’t anticipate, prompting some to regret leaving supportive city circles.

2. Cultural and Entertainment Options May Feel Limited

Suburban life can be peaceful—sometimes too peaceful. While city dwellers may enjoy museums, concerts, and vibrant street life, the suburbs tend to be more low-key. This can be a welcome change for some, but parents hoping to immerse their kids in diverse cultural experiences can find the slower pace restrictive. Weekends may start feeling repetitive, and families who thrive on a packed calendar might start to miss the city’s flair.

A man stuck in traffic on a congested highway during rush hour, surrounded by cars and looking frustrate
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3. Commute Times (and Overall Costs) Can Be a Surprise

A major myth about moving to the suburbs is that it’s inherently cheaper. Although housing might look more affordable at first glance, transportation costs (and time) often rise. Longer commutes add up in terms of gas, train fares, and lost family time. Meanwhile, home-related expenses—like property taxes, maintenance, or utilities—can exceed initial expectations. Over time, some families discover suburbia isn’t the budget-friendly solution they’d hoped for.

4. The Slower Pace Isn’t for Everyone

The quiet, predictable pace of suburban life can be a dream come true—or a surprising letdown. While some parents relish the peace, others find themselves missing the buzz of city living. That longing for more social interactions or professional connections can lead to resentment or regret, particularly if you thrive on stimulation. Many who jump at the chance for quiet streets eventually miss urban dynamism.

5. It Really Depends on Your Family’s Needs and Expectations

Of course, not every story ends in regret. Plenty of parents love the extra square footage, tranquil streets, and top-rated schools common in the suburbs. Ultimately, the decision is deeply personal—some families find the trade-offs well worth it, while others yearn for the energy and convenience of city life. There’s no single right answer, and individual experiences vary widely. If you’re pondering a move, it’s crucial to know your own priorities—whether it’s vibrant surroundings or spacious backyards.

Suburbs Aren’t the Whole Story: Your Happiness Matters, Too

When it comes down to it, moving to the suburbs isn’t just about home size or zip code—it’s about what fuels your family’s well-being. If you’re struggling after making the leap, that doesn’t mean you made a mistake. Often, emotional health and supportive communities matter more than a two-car garage or extra living space. Maybe you’ll choose to return to the city someday, or maybe you’ll learn to love suburbia on your own terms. Either way, your feelings are valid—your goal is to create the happiest, healthiest environment for the whole family.

Have you moved from the city to the suburbs? What surprised you the most, for better or worse? Share your experiences in the comments below—other families might learn from your journey.

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Things to Consider Before Moving

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Uhaul truck for movingOk, so it’s been ages since my last post and with good reason.  I had been in the middle of moving to a new house and my goodness!  It was very difficult this time around.  The last time I moved was almost 2 years ago and it was decidedly easier then.  I am assuming this is because I really did everything from scratch by myself this time around as opposed to having help from my family the first time.

Anyway, from my previous post I recall mentioning that I was considering moving a ways away from when I used to live because I found the area nicer, aesthetically, and more peaceful.  Well, this is where it all went wrong.

So I spent a whole day in the area looking for possible houses and here started my spending. I needed to rent a van because I don’t own a car and this was expensive.  We viewed a total of 7 houses and only 2 were nice enough to consider.  The rent, at first, also seemed doable.

It was when I was staring at my spreadsheet and doing my budget projections did I realize that both houses were out of the question and not because of their rent but because of all the expenses that come with living in an area.  So, I have created a short list of ‘real considerations’ when thinking about moving.

1. Location

This is important because you do not consider transferring from where you are to somewhere worse. As much as possible, always make the move be to a better place.  This is where things become subjective because ‘better’ is different for everyone.  Some people think that the beauty of a neighborhood makes things better; some think it is in the neighbors themselves; some think it is the crime rate; some think it’s how urban or rural the area is. For me, it is about peace and safety.  In Manila, you can live in very quiet, private subdivisions but pay a whole lot, or live in vibrant, alive corners and not pay as much.  I wanted a happy middle.  Whatever your criterion is, make sure it is something substantial and something you really count as important to living.

2.  Cost of Living

This is really important and this is what ultimately made me change my mind when it came to the big move.  Cost of living is basically what you spend in actuality to make living in an area possible. So, this includes what you spend on groceries from your local supermarket, what you spend on cooking gas, what you spend on commute to work, what you spend on taxes, what you spend on schooling for your kids (I you have kids) or for yourself (if you are studying).  Where I live, private schools are still considered better than public schools and tuition fees for these schools vary so it is important to find one that will fit your budget and still fulfill all your desires for your child’s education.  This is all the more important in a single income household like mine.  While number 1 may be a positive, while you may think you have found the perfect house, this can fall apart if you find you ultimately cannot afford to live in that area.

3. Availability of Resources

Now, this is simple and can be connected to points 1 and 2.  Questions that may fall under this point are: How far is it to your place of work? How hard is the commute? How far is the nearest hospital? How far is the school? Is there a local market?  Are there 24/7 drug stores?  The list of questions can also change depending on what you term as resources and how important these resources are to you.

After looking at these three points, I was able to conclude that my first plan was a bad idea.  So, I changed course and did a new search and discover session for a house in the general vicinity of where I used to live but better.  This is how the move turned from a simple 2 week exercise to a whole month!  And we aren’t even finished because, even if we have moved, we haven’t completely set ourselves up to be a fully functioning, smooth running household.  But that is another post.

What are your considerations when moving?  Are they different from what I stated?