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Should You Reward Kids for Good Grades?

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One of the more controversial topics in parenting circles, right behind should children be paid an allowance tied to chores, is, should you reward kids for good grades?  As a student, I never received money for good grades.  I didn’t need to because I liked learning and school.  Likewise, we haven’t paid our kids for good grades because generally, they get good grades on their own.  However, if paying your kids works for you, then, by all means, continue to do so.

Should You Reward Your Child for Good Grades?

Why You Shouldn’t Reward Kids for Good Grades

Our family has several reasons why we don’t reward kids for good grades:

Learning Disabilities

We have three kids, and two of them have dyslexia.  Those two are currently getting an intervention to help them read more fluently, but they’re always going to struggle with reading, writing, and spelling.  If I reward all three kids for good grades with money, the one without the disability will generally earn more.  Likewise, if you have a gifted and a typical learner, the typical learner may struggle more than the gifted learner.

The Love of Learning Should Be Intrinsic

Another reason why we haven’t yet paid our kids for good grades is that all three are motivated to earn good grades on their own.  They have an intrinsic desire to get good grades.  When an intrinsic desire is there, kids are usually more motivated than if they had an extrinsic motivator like being paid money.  (Having said that, if our kids had little desire to learn, we may implement a monetary system to motivate them to get better grades.)

May Encourage Cheating

Should You Reward Kids for Good Grades?

Photo by Antoine Dautry on Unsplash

This is not true for all kids, but for some kids, getting paid for good grades may encourage cheating.  Let’s say a child gets paid $10 for a C grade but $50 for an A grade.  If he struggles with the material, he may resort to cheating to boost up his grades and make more money.  After all, if a child is getting all Cs for six classes, that’s only $60 for the term versus if a child is getting all As and earning $300 a term.  I would say $240 is a strong incentive to cheat to get a better grade, especially if working hard and studying isn’t giving the child the results that he wants.

Final Thoughts

There is no right answer to the question, should you reward kids for good grades.  Many parents argue, rightly so, that rewarding their children helps motivate them.  (Keep in mind, some parents reward with money while others reward with privileges.  Either work, though privileges might work better for younger kids.)

However, our family philosophy has always been, if it isn’t broken, why fix it?  For our family, our kids are motivated enough on their own to try to get good grades.  We’ve been hesitant to add in a reward system for that reason and also because it seems unfair to the children who have dyslexia.

Rewarding Students for Good Grades?

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Rewarding Students for Good GradesGrowing up, children have very few responsibilities in life, make your bed, help with chores, be a nice person and do well in school. Given that doing well in school is really the only task throughout your day that requires any real effort, should we be rewarding our children for good grades? Something we expect from them anyway?

 

Rewarding Good Behavior

Rewarding a good, or positive, behavior isn’t necessarily a bad thing. People in general, do better in life when they receive positive reinforcement. As a working adult, if I only ever heard from my boss when I did something wrong, I would begin to resent our relationship and loath anytime he wanted to chat with me. We, as humans, like to know when we’ve done something good, or right, and always appreciate the acknowledgement of a job well done.

 

Not All Kids Are Self Motivated

Kids are no different. If you’re struggling to have them help with chores around the house, a simple reward chart that includes something small like stickers every time they accomplish something, is often enough incentive to have them work harder. Kids like to see how far they’ve come and how far they have to go. They are very visual learners.

Not all children are self-motivated. Some kids are innately self-motivated while others are not and need sticker charts for chores. I was always self-motivated and getting good grades for myself was all that I needed. I didn’t need my mom asking me if my homework was done. Of course it was. I motivated myself through life on nothing other than good grades and hard work, but most of my friends did not. Though my friends did well in school it was often because their parents helped them with homework every night and rewarded them at the end the year for a job well done in the form of a present.

There is nothing wrong with parents helping children with homework, on the contrary. I think it is hugely important to understand everything your child is learning for more reason than one, but I don’t know if rewarding them at the end of the year for a job well done is the right message.

 

Sending Mixed Signals

My concern is that if a child is rewarded with a present at the end of the school year for doing something we expected them to do anyway, they will maintain this mentality throughout life. As  adults we know not all jobs have bonuses and rewards for simply doing your job. What job satisfaction will they have if they don’t get a bonus or reward? Shouldn’t we teach our children to be happy with a job well done and not have them expect a present?

 

My Thoughts on Rewarding Students for Good Grades

I am of the opinion that children should be taught to be proud of what they accomplish academically. That praise from family and friends should be enough. I don’t think it’s appropriate to buy a 5th grader a new bike because they finished the school year with good grades, as expected. Upon high school graduation, I think a gift is appropriate to acknowledge many years worth of work and effort coming to an end, and the movement into the next phase in life. Individual grading gifts are over the top though. At the end of the school year, have a nice family gathering and celebrate the end of the academic year and start of summer together. Congratulate your child for a job well done in non-monetary or material items.

For more on kids and their education check out these other great articles.

What to Get The Graduate in Your Life
What Would You Sacrifice to Pay for Your Child’s Education
Should You Save For Post Secondary or Spend it on Experience?

What is your opinion on grading gifts?