wahm Archives - Kids Ain't Cheap

Juggling Kids & Life – A (Realistic) Daily Schedule for Stay-at-Home Moms

July 31, 2017 | Leave a Comment

We’ve all read blog posts mapping out our best chance for productivity, right? Ever read one and just think, “Not a chance”? As moms, juggling our kids, errands, hobbies, business, etc. turns our quest for productivity into a search for the Holy Grail. Therefore, we’re going to spend today looking at a realistic daily schedule for stay-at-home moms.

A Daily Schedule for Stay-at-Home Moms – Hot Mess Moms Welcome

The other day, I read a post by a successful online entrepreneur who is also a new father. John Meese structured his schedule around what he calls “The Perfect Day.” Here is a quick overview:

6:00 AM – Wake up, exercise, eat breakfast
9:00 AM – 12:00 PM – Work
12:00 PM – 2:00 PM – Lunch, rest, recharge
2:00 PM – 6:00 PM – Work
6:00 PM – End of Day – Family time

I really do think that would be the perfect day. I mean, a two-hour lunch break to just read a book? Or even nap?

Ah, bliss.

The problem is, this beautiful schedule is simply unobtainable for stay-at-home moms. It’s not Meese’s fault; he didn’t write it for us. But too often, I think we see this as the ONLY option and throw in the towel when we can’t keep up. How can a stay-at-home mom physically get up at 6:00 AM and expect to get something done after waking up three times in the night to soothe a teething baby?

And approximately how many lunch breaks do you get, mama?

How about that “work until dinnertime” notion? Guess who’ll be right at your ankles every seven minutes asking for a snack if you’re not in the kitchen working on dinner?

Hear me out. Til my dying breath, I’ll tell the world that being a mom is the greatest gig in the world. But if I want to find a balance that actually fits my lifestyle, then I need to let go of a few expectations.

Here are a few examples.

Letting Go of Expectations

You can’t expect to function with the same schedule as a breadwinner. If you signed up to be the stay-at-home mom, then your priority lies with the munchkins. Do you still deserve time to yourself each day to recharge? ABSOLUTELY. You just need to find it in different ways. Sometimes, that means swapping childcare with another mom once a week. It might mean establishing quiet time every afternoon if the children don’t nap anymore so you can have an hour to yourself. You could even hire a sitter to watch the children one day a week if that’s what it takes to give you balance.

You can’t expect the schedule you implement today to still work in three weeks.

When I first became a freelance writer, I made a simple goal to write each morning at 6:30. That worked for approximately two weeks until my infant began teething through the night and my toddler suddenly wanted breakfast at 4:00 AM. I was a hot mess trying so hard to stick to my writing schedule. Changing my plans felt like failing, but you know what? It’s exactly what needed to happen. So, I extended myself some grace, slept when my kids slept and started swapping childcare with a friend to accomplish my writing tasks.

Now, let’s take a look at a slightly more realistic daily schedule for stay-at-home moms…

A Daily Schedule for Stay-at-Home Moms to Fit Your Lifestyle

Pre-Breakfast – Tend to yourself – Whether that means to sleep in, read, exercise, shower, or just sip coffee in silence.

Morning – Tend to your family – Spend this time intentionally caring for your little ones: i.e. Make breakfast, get the children dressed, make crafts, go on playdates, visit a library.

Lunch – If you’re planning time in the afternoon for your hobby or at-home business, then find creative and simple finger foods to make for lunch. An elaborate, three-course lunch will zap your afternoon energy reserves faster than a hailstorm. Use wraps to make PB&J roll-ups, for example. The less clean up, the better.

Afternoon – Naptime/Quiet time – Once the kids are down for naps or have a few activities to play quietly in their room, it’s time to clock in. If your kids are anything like mine, then they like to sneak out of their rooms and check if quiet time is done approximately 18 times, no matter how nicely (or firmly) you ask them to stop. If that wrecks your concentration like it does mine, then leave the heavy focus for child-free time. For example, I can email, design social media graphics, or outline during quiet time, but I can’t write a chapter in my book.

Evening – Family time – Maybe your brain is able to function once you’ve cooked dinner, fed the family, cleaned up, bathed the kids, read them stories, and said good night, but I’m absolutely FRIED after 8:30 PM. My best move is to hang out with my husband watching Netflix or read a book. If you can work on your hobbies and interests, then go for it.

By the way, if you’re looking for ways to make money from home, check out these 14 jobs that are worth a stay-at-home mom’s time!

This daily schedule for stay-at-home moms is obviously just one broad stroke of the paint brush. Your life and your interests will look differently once applied to this list. Therefore, let’s hear how you find the most balance in your week.

Share some of your best ideas for a daily schedule in the comments below!

The SAHM Budget Test: How to Afford to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom

June 26, 2017 | Leave a Comment

Can moms really afford to live at home full-time with their children? So many families are trapped by student loan and credit card debt, requiring both parents to work full-time outside the home. I’ve been in those shoes. Today, through a myriad of challenges, and a few key triumphs, I discovered how to afford to be a stay-at-home mom.

We’ve covered a wide range of topics centered around finances and SAHMs (listed below). Be sure to check those out if you haven’t.

Meanwhile, I put a unique spin on today’s article and have prepared a “SAHM Budget Test” for you.

Why?

Throughout the last six years, my husband and I experienced a complete turnaround of our money habits, our careers, and the trajectory of our future together. It started with asking questions.

“Is debt crippling our future?”

“Do we need an emergency fund?”

“How do we talk about all this?

As we answered every question, we discovered something. Every decision you make with your finances is interwoven with your life and that of your family’s.

So it was with my journey toward becoming a stay-at-home mom.

The SAHM Budget Test: How to Afford to Be a Stay-at-Home Mom

Rather than recount the details of how my husband and spent three years working our financial plan that enabled me to stay home full-time, I’m going to ask you some of the most important questions we asked ourselves. These questions helped us stay focused on what would work for our family rather than falling back on whatever society or our peers were doing with their money.

Dave Ramsey calls it “Living like no one else so that one day you can live, and give, like no one else.” I couldn’t agree more.

Do you know exactly what you need to live on each month?

One of the best ways to answer the question “Can I afford to be a SAHM?” is to calculate EXACTLY what your family must live on each month. For example, compile your list of utilities, bills, and essential expenses like food and gas. This list should include what you’ll realistically purchase even if it’s not a need (i.e. money for restaurants or Starbucks), but do your best to trim.

We’re just looking for an honest snapshot.

Can you practice living on your significant other’s income right now?

I don’t recommend anyone quit her job and stay home without practicing a single-income lifestyle for at least 90 days. The reason is my husband and I stunk at first! We needed MUCH more than three months to crack down on our excess spending and to adjust our lifestyle in order to function solely on his income. But the practice was like a life jacket when we swam to the deep end and officially let go of my income.

Will you need to bring in a supplemental income from home?

There is a TON of pressure on moms these days to make money from home. And it’s really a shame. Should they do so if they truly feel that calling? Absolutely! But not out of guilt or peer pressure. I work 15 hours a week as a freelance writer and am so passionate about what I do. However, I didn’t earn a dime until well over a year after I turned in my keys at the bank. It takes time to build a profitable business from home, so do NOT factor that as an income source unless you have an established business!

Instead, read the next question to consider other ways of utilizing more of your partner’s income.

What can you no longer afford on one income?

When you practice the single-income budget for a few months, it’ll become more clear what changes will need to happen in your current lifestyle. This dream of staying home may require drastic action.

For example, do you need to sell your newer vehicle and buy a 10-year-old Honda? What valuables can you sell for a profit? How about downsizing? Is the size of the mortgage payment preventing you from buying enough groceries on one income?

I’m not saying you can’t own a home. Just weigh the opportunity costs. For the first few years of staying home, you may need to make some sacrifices in your lifestyle to achieve your goal. But I can speak from experience when I say the time at home with your kids is a wonderful distraction from the things of which you let go.

Test Results

How’d your answers turn out? Do you have a better feeling about how ready you are to financially stay home? I hope, more than anything, this didn’t discourage you if the answers weren’t to your liking yet. Educating yourself about your own financial snapshot is the first (and bravest) step toward this goal.

Remember, it took me three years.

If you’re ready to take step two and really begin forming a plan of action toward becoming a stay-at-home parent, I’ve put together a resource just for you. “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint” is the ebook I wish I had when my husband and I first got married. It includes our story of becoming debt-free and finding a way to live on less than $2,000 a month while I stayed home. It also includes 150 strategies to:

Chop debt
Save money
Sell household goods
Create healthy conversations about money with your spouse
Make a budget that works for your family
Start an at-home business
Maintain a healthy, single-income lifestyle for years to come

If you’re ready to take your next step and access this digital resource, follow this link for more details.

Your Turn: Got a tip for how to afford to be a stay-at-home mom? We want to hear it!

This post may contain affiliate links.

Don’t forget to check out these additional tips for SAHMs!

How to Afford Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

May 29, 2017 | Leave a Comment

how to afford being a stay-at-home mom When I was pregnant with my first child, every day held excitement about the future. But I couldn’t quite shake the weight I felt on my shoulders when I thought about returning to work six weeks after her birth. I wanted so desperately to stay home, but simply couldn’t imagine how to afford being a stay-at-home mom.

It just doesn’t come up much in school, does it? “Living On Half Your Income 101.” Yeah, not so much. Today’s culture often says things like “Put it on credit” or “You deserve more” or good ‘ole “YOLO.” But some dreams involve spending and earning a whole lot less.

And they sure are worth it.

See, my husband and I really needed a roadmap, some kind of guidelines to help us navigate these tumultuous waters.

If that’s you, then let me encourage you. Our “get-your-financial-act-together” journey started in 2011. In 2012, my husband and I paid off $22,000 to become debt-free right before our daughter’s birth. We stockpiled as much as we could into our emergency savings and learned to continually live within our means (MUCH harder than it sounds!).

This led to one of the happiest days of my life. It was in May of 2014. I was 30 weeks pregnant with our second child and kept having labor symptoms when I’d work on my feet all day at my job. Rather than risk a premature delivery, that became the catalyst for our leap of faith.

That was the day I quit my job and officially became a stay-at-home mom. I waddled to my car with astonishment stamped on my face. It really was happening.

You need to understand the primary reason for this astonishment. We would now be living on less than $2,000 a month. It seems impossible that we could have done this (especially if you knew how bad we were at budgeting when we were single!). The thing is, we hustled our hineys off and no longer had debt. We’d been budgeting like paupers and renting from family instead of rushing into a home we couldn’t afford.

Even on such a small income, we really were ready. Hence my amazement.

Every dream is different. And that’s OK.

Your dream may not be to stay home. That’s totally fine! If you love working outside the home, then embrace that and enjoy your work. Nor are you required to generate an income if you do decide to stay home full-time. Let’s just get that out there.

So many of the steps we took as a couple had very little to do with me making extra money from home. They set an important foundation that centered around three major components:

Communication
Changing habits
Financial freedom

Let’s pull back the curtain a little further and explore what I mean.

How to Afford Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

Here are some practical first steps you can take in your journey toward spending more time with your kids!

Step #1: Kick debt to the curb.

When my husband and I committed to paying off our outstanding debt in two years instead of seven, we forced ourselves to:

Budget every month
Snip our credit cards and always pay with debit or cash
Live intentionally on less
Communicate in healthier ways about money

For example, the biggest way my husband and I melted debt was to intentionally begin living on his income. It took months, but eventually, we were able to apply every dime from my paycheck toward debt.

After that, our small income became that much more powerful. Imagine what you could do with your money if you didn’t have any payments. That one thought spurred us on.

Step #2: Save for the unexpected.

Saving for emergencies is the most powerful way you can create financial stability in your home. Smaller emergencies like an oil leak can be covered in the “auto repair” portion of your budget. But what if your income-generating spouse loses his job? That buffer is the difference between you remaining a stay-at-home mom through that transition or scrambling for work alongside your partner.

A great place to start with a savings buffer is $1,000. More can be accumulated once you’re out of debt, but that first $1k is your Kevlar vest against calamity.

Step #3: Act.

We covered the basics. Whether you’re a mother or would like to be one someday, you can begin this journey today. It’s time to choose your next step and ACT.

A great place to start is a conversation with your significant other. This plan requires openness and commitment from both of you. It’s also going to take time. Best to start the conversation now.

For example, when I messed up the budget, I knew I could approach my husband about it instead of burying my head in the sand like I’d done in the past. We worked through many problems that way. Extend grace. Talk about your dreams. Re-commit.

Another great next step is to further your education. Try joining a Facebook group that centers around whipping your family finances into shape. The added support is tremendous. Here are two great groups you can join:

Build on the foundation.

If you’ve read this far, it means you’re dead serious about your dream of becoming a stay-at-home mom. That’s awesome.

I believe you can do it, but this is just the framework. It’s not going to keep the rain or wind out of your house. To add siding, insulation, a roof, and even some shiplap if that’s your fancy, then I strongly encourage you to check out my eBook called “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint.” In it, I expand my story on climbing out of debt and achieving my dream of staying home. I also walk you through 150 practical strategies that my husband and I used (and still use today) to communicate better, chop debt, and save money.

This is the roadmap I wish I’d had when we first dreamed of transitioning into a single-income family.

Also, if you do want to earn money from home, “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint” includes dozens of ideas to sell your stuff, earn gift cards or cash from home, or build an online business. My business didn’t happen until nearly two years after I became a SAHM. Since then, I’ve made nearly $20,000 just working part-time as a freelance writer. I know without a doubt that this business wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t safely transitioned into a stay-at-home mom first.

Ready to take your journey toward staying home to the next level?

Grab your copy of “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint” today.