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Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Loans for Stay-at-Home Moms – What Are Your Options?

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Borrowing money is as commonplace in today’s economy as choosing your next meal. Many use it in daily life – whether it’s choosing a vehicle, a college, or a purse. But is it healthy? Also, do loans for stay-at-home moms even exist? Let’s take a look at your options in today’s article.

Loans for Stay at Home Moms

Loans for Stay-at-Home Moms – a Breakdown of Your Options

I used debt regularly the moment I reached adulthood. My entire effort was to ultimately raise my credit score.

However, my focus on debt became one of my biggest stumbling blocks for becoming a stay-at-home mom, years later. I honestly didn’t think I’d ever make it because debt was holding me back.

I’m not saying you can’t ever use debt, but I want you to know what my experience taught me. Also, as a financial coach since 2013, I’ve seen the underbelly of loans and debt.

So let’s take a look at when it might make sense to borrow money and when it might not.

Can Stay-at-Home Moms Borrow Money?

It’s a valid question. If your income is $0, then what creditor will believe that you’ll pay them back? Here are a few options (none of which are guaranteed):

Consider Household Income

Find a lender who will consider your household income. Even with my decent credit score, lenders weren’t remotely interested in loaning me the money for our first house until they saw my husband’s full-time income. If you’re a stay-at-home mom, then you’re already living off someone else’s paycheck – likely your spouse’s. It’s best to go forward with any major financial decisions – particularly debt – together.

0% Interest Cards

Apply for a credit card with 0% interest. Try to find one that promises no interest for at least 12 months or more and read the fine print!  It’s especially important to look at what the transfer fee will be if you’re transferring old debt to pay off.  (Typically, transfer fees are 3 to 5% of the total amount you transfer to the 0% interest card.)  You will also want to consider what the interest rate will be after the introductory 0% phase in case you aren’t able to pay it off within that time.

You will still need to declare your household income to be approved, but this will likely give you a lengthier time to repay a debt (i.e. medical bill or personal debt).

Collateral

Ask about collateral. If your name is on something of value (i.e. a vehicle), you may be able to use it for a loan.  However, be forewarned that if you’re not able to keep up with the monthly payments, you can lose the item you put up for collateral, so in general, choose this option as a last resort.

Most importantly, make a clear plan for your budget to pay this debt off as quickly as possible! The average household has $16,748 in credit card debt. So many families let that final step slide and become buried. That doesn’t have to be you!

When Loans for Stay-at-Home Moms Might Make Sense

There are some instances where loans for stay-at-home moms make sense.

Mortgages

Loans for Stay at Home Moms

Photo by Colton Sturgeon on Unsplash

If you wish to buy a home but don’t have six figures in cash at the moment, that’s understandable. Taking out a mortgage does include its share of benefits:

  • Accrued equity
  • Resale value
  • Options for shorter and more accelerated payoff plans (saving thousands in interest)

Medical Payment Plans

Perhaps you’re an at-home parent facing a medical procedure that’s more than you have available. The billing company often provides structured payment plans (often interest free) allowing you to pay off that debt over time.

CAR LOANS

Being a mom can be demanding, hectic, and exhausting. This is why you might want to consider a car loan to help facilitate your daily activities like shopping, driving the kids to school, or even in the case of medical emergencies. 

Before taking out a loan, you can use a car loan calculator to get an overview of different car loan providers; their terms and how much you will need to repay, and opt for the one that works for you. 

Debt Alternatives for Stay-at-Home Moms

While accumulating debt makes sense in some cases, often avoiding debt is the best thing to do.  As my husband and I began our journey out of debt, we had to find new alternatives to paying for every purchase. Here are a few primary habits we still practice today:

Adjust Your Standard of Living

If you’re used to buying nicer decor, vehicles, clothing, and vacations and placing them all on credit, then it’s likely snipping the card won’t be the only important step. You may need to reduce your clothing budget, take a staycation, or live with your current decor longer than normal.

Create a Sinking Fund

Loans for Stay at Home Moms

Photo by Naomi Hébert on Unsplash

This was a big one for us. Sure, it’s easy to say we’ll pay for things in cash, but putting in the actual work is difficult. For example, one day, you’re going to open your refrigerator and it’s going to feel like warm, sunny day instead of the icy Arctic. That’s an expensive fix, but also an inevitable one. By placing chunks of money into a savings account every month, you’re preparing for the cost of keeping that food cold again one day.

Build an Emergency Fund

Contrary to the sinking fund, the emergency fund is there for the big, ugly, unexpected moments. Your transmission may decide to self-destruct. Tragedy may strike an out-of-town friend or relative. You’ll want the funds ready to transport you quickly to your destination. An emergency fund has prevented my husband and me from going into debt, time and time AND TIME again.

A good way to start building your emergency fund is, frankly, to get a job.  If you like this idea, but don’t know where to get started, the savvycouple has a good listing of legitimate jobs for stay at home moms.

Your Takeaway

Knowing your options is one of your most powerful tools in your financial toolbox.

If you’re more inclined to choose a debt-free route for your family’s finances in the future but aren’t sure where to begin, Laura Harris has created a financial roadmap for moms just for that reason. “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint” is an eBook designed to help anyone seeking the steps to financial freedom to spend more time with their family.

Paperback-Book-Small-Spine-Mockup

What’s included?

  • 150 strategies to slice debt, save money, communicate in healthy ways with your spouse, sell your household goods, earn a side income from home, and successfully develop a budget.
  • Harris’ story of overcoming debt and sloppy spending to become debt-free and achieve her dream of staying home.
  • Dozens of additional resources to equip you on your financial journey.

Ready to take a closer look at “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint”? Click here for more info.

Join the Discussion: Do you believe debt is a useful tool to be used in daily life or as infrequently as possible? Do you land somewhere in the middle? Share your perspective in the comments below!

This post contains affiliate links.

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Looking for more stay-at-home mom resources? We’ve got you covered!

Or you can also check out this credit score tool online:

13 Ways for Stay-at-Home Moms to Save Money

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ways for stay-at-home moms to save moneyWhen I became a stay-at-home mom in 2014, I felt a pang of guilt for no longer contributing financially to the family. Then, as the weeks of staying home progressed, I discovered something incredible. I had a new superpower. I was so much better at saving money! Not to say I was perfect, but by simply spending the lion’s share of my days caring for little ones AT HOME, I saved loads. Let’s take a closer look at some of those practical ways for stay-at-home moms to save money.

13 Ways for Stay-at-Home Moms to Save Money

Since a mom is involved in so many transactions throughout the week, I thought it’d be best to look through these money-saving tips in categories.

Kids and Babies

Don’t buy all new. The minute you become pregnant, you are inundated with offers for bright and shiny things. Everyone will tell you how to keep your baby out of peril. Each piece of advice will be different. Your greatest weapons are:

  • Research
  • Common Sense

Research may show you that buying a car seat new is a wise investment. It may reveal used clothes make a lot of sense for growing babies. Common sense may show you that the French chandelier in your friend’s baby’s nursery doesn’t have to show up in yours, too.

Find out if you qualify for a free breast pump. The government may give you a free breast pump or provide you with a reimbursement. I highly recommend checking it out.

Be strategic about the professional photo sessions. Social media creates so much pressure for parents to create “perfect moments” during each chapter of their children’s lives. Don’t get swept away in expensive photo sessions unless you’ve planned for them and have the budget available.

Food

Load digital coupons. So many stores offer digital coupons. They’re handy and often apply to checkout automatically.

Make your own baby food. I am not a DIY maven. However, when I started researching the health benefits of making homemade baby food (and that getting started wasn’t that hard), I gave it a go.

Once your baby is ready for solids, try mashing a banana or pureeing some superfoods. Freeze them in an ice cube tray for long-term!

Consolidate your trips. Try as I might, I always end up overspending or impulsing buy at the grocery store. Limiting my trips is one way I combat that problem. Another is by ordering my groceries online via ClickList or Shipt. That way, I’m not tempted to overspend and save so much time, too.

House

Pay extra on your mortgage. It’s amazing how much money people can save on their mortgage by paying an extra $100 per month. For example, if you had a 30-year mortgage of $165,000 at 4.5 percent, you’d pay an estimated $135,971 in INTEREST. By paying $100 extra each month over those 30 years, you’d only pay $105,547 in interest. That’s over $30,000 in savings!

Try BankRate’s free amortization calculator here.

Unplug. You can save a lot of money over time on your utilities simply by unplugging your appliances and shutting off your lights. If the weather is nice, shut off the thermostat and throw open some windows.

Reduce extra payments like your phone bill, cable, entertainment subscriptions. What can you trim back in your budget? Can you drop cable? Can you renegotiate your phone bill?

Build an emergency fund. Having money set aside for the unexpected will save so much money on emergency swipes of the credit card.

Selling and Earning

Sell your used goods. Today it’s easier than ever to sell your household goods to others. Check out these seven apps that’ll help you turn your secondhand stuff into cash.

Earn gift cards to cover Christmas. Swagbucks is one of the most popular sites for earning gift cards. You can watch videos, conduct searches, shop online, or do surveys to earn gift cards for places like PayPal, Amazon, and Target. You won’t earn a living, but it’s a great way to cover birthday presents, weddings, or Christmas.

Start a side gig. If you’re a stay-at-home mom looking for a way to make serious money from home, please check out my recent post “14 Profitable Stay-at-Home Mom Jobs Online (That Are Worth Your Time).” It outlines several cash-generating ideas from remote jobs to becoming an entrepreneur.

Ways for Stay-at-Home Moms to Save Money – Part IISAHM Blueprint ebook cover - transparent

I’ve been piling up resources and tips like this for the last three years after my own debt-free journey with my husband. We went from broke and clueless to budgeting and conquering our financial goals – like me becoming a stay-at-home mom – with the steps you’ve read in this article.

If you dream of the day you can stay home with your kids but could use a roadmap like I did, check out “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint.” This eBook tells my story of beating debt and beating the odds to stay home when we only had $2,000 to live on each month.

It also includes 150 strategies to chop your debt, save money, earn from home, and afford your dream of becoming a SAHM.

If you liked this list of ways for stay-at-home moms to save money, “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint” is this plus steroids.

Click here to learn more!

Your Turn: Share with us a few ways for stay-at-home moms to save money in the comments below!

This post contains affiliate links.

Are you a stay-at-home mom? Check out these bonus resources created just for you!

Are you a stay-at-home mom? Make sure you bookmark or pin some of these resources for later!

How to Afford Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

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how to afford being a stay-at-home momWhen I was pregnant with my first child, every day held excitement about the future. But I couldn’t quite shake the weight I felt on my shoulders when I thought about returning to work six weeks after her birth. I wanted so desperately to stay home, but simply couldn’t imagine how to afford being a stay-at-home mom.

It just doesn’t come up much in school, does it? “Living On Half Your Income 101.” Yeah, not so much. Today’s culture often says things like “Put it on credit” or “You deserve more” or good ‘ole “YOLO.” But some dreams involve spending and earning a whole lot less.

And they sure are worth it.

See, my husband and I really needed a roadmap, some kind of guidelines to help us navigate these tumultuous waters.

If that’s you, then let me encourage you. Our “get-your-financial-act-together” journey started in 2011. In 2012, my husband and I paid off $22,000 to become debt-free right before our daughter’s birth. We stockpiled as much as we could into our emergency savings and learned to continually live within our means (MUCH harder than it sounds!).

This led to one of the happiest days of my life. It was in May of 2014. I was 30 weeks pregnant with our second child and kept having labor symptoms when I’d work on my feet all day at my job. Rather than risk a premature delivery, that became the catalyst for our leap of faith.

That was the day I quit my job and officially became a stay-at-home mom. I waddled to my car with astonishment stamped on my face. It really was happening.

You need to understand the primary reason for this astonishment. We would now be living on less than $2,000 a month. It seems impossible that we could have done this (especially if you knew how bad we were at budgeting when we were single!). The thing is, we hustled our hineys off and no longer had debt. We’d been budgeting like paupers and renting from family instead of rushing into a home we couldn’t afford.

Even on such a small income, we really were ready. Hence my amazement.

Every dream is different. And that’s OK.

Your dream may not be to stay home. That’s totally fine! If you love working outside the home, then embrace that and enjoy your work. Nor are you required to generate an income if you do decide to stay home full-time. Let’s just get that out there.

So many of the steps we took as a couple had very little to do with me making extra money from home. They set an important foundation that centered around three major components:

  • Communication
  • Changing habits
  • Financial freedom

Let’s pull back the curtain a little further and explore what I mean.

How to Afford Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

Here are some practical first steps you can take in your journey toward spending more time with your kids!

Step #1: Kick debt to the curb.

When my husband and I committed to paying off our outstanding debt in two years instead of seven, we forced ourselves to:

  • Budget every month
  • Snip our credit cards and always pay with debit or cash
  • Live intentionally on less
  • Communicate in healthier ways about money

For example, the biggest way my husband and I melted debt was to intentionally begin living on his income. It took months, but eventually, we were able to apply every dime from my paycheck toward debt.

After that, our small income became that much more powerful. Imagine what you could do with your money if you didn’t have any payments. That one thought spurred us on.

Recommended Article: “10 Steps to Create a Successful Stay-at-Home Mom Budget”

Step #2: Save for the unexpected.

Saving for emergencies is the most powerful way you can create financial stability in your home. Smaller emergencies like an oil leak can be covered in the “auto repair” portion of your budget. But what if your income-generating spouse loses his job? That buffer is the difference between you remaining a stay-at-home mom through that transition or scrambling for work alongside your partner.

A great place to start with a savings buffer is $1,000. More can be accumulated once you’re out of debt, but that first $1k is your Kevlar vest against calamity.

Step #3: Act.

We covered the basics. Whether you’re a mother or would like to be one someday, you can begin this journey today. It’s time to choose your next step and ACT.

A great place to start is a conversation with your significant other. This plan requires openness and commitment from both of you. It’s also going to take time. Best to start the conversation now.

For example, when I messed up the budget, I knew I could approach my husband about it instead of burying my head in the sand like I’d done in the past. We worked through many problems that way. Extend grace. Talk about your dreams. Re-commit.

Another great next step is to further your education. Try joining a Facebook group that centers around whipping your family finances into shape. The added support is tremendous. Here are two great groups you can join:

Build on the foundation.

If you’ve read this far, it means you’re dead serious about your dream of becoming a stay-at-home mom. That’s awesome.

I believe you can do it, but this is just the framework. It’s not going to keep the rain or wind out of your house. To add siding, insulation, a roof, and even some shiplap if that’s your fancy, then I strongly encourage you to check out my eBook called “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint.” In it, I expand my story on climbing out of debt and achieving my dream of staying home. I also walk you through 150 practical strategies that my husband and I used (and still use today) to communicate better, chop debt, and save money.SAHM Blueprint

This is the roadmap I wish I’d had when we first dreamed of transitioning into a single-income family.

Also, if you do want to earn money from home, “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint” includes dozens of ideas to sell your stuff, earn gift cards or cash from home, or build an online business. My business didn’t happen until nearly two years after I became a SAHM. Since then, I’ve made nearly $20,000 just working part-time as a freelance writer. I know without a doubt that this business wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t safely transitioned into a stay-at-home mom first.

Ready to take your journey toward staying home to the next level?

Grab your copy of “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint” today.

Your Turn: What advice would you give someone on how to afford being a stay-at-home mom? Share with us below!

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Image Credit: AI Photography

Hungry for more financial tips for stay-at-home moms? Look no further!

10 Steps to Create a Successful Stay-at-Home Mom Budget

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stay-at-home mom budgetDo you dream of becoming a stay-at-home mom but your family depends on your income? Your dream may not be impossible. It starts with a plan, a lot of self-compassion, and determination. I know from experience. Our most effective tool on our journey to a single-income family with an at-home parent started with a stay-at-home mom budget.

I’d like to show you how.

In 2014, I gave my notice at my job just a few weeks before having my second child. With only my husband’s income, we now had less than $2,000 per month to live on. That may sound impossible, but we spent years preparing for that day. It’s amazing how little income you can live on when you don’t have a car payment or student loan debts. It’s amazing how free you feel when you make such an empowering decision like staying home with your children. I

It’s amazing how little income you can live on when you don’t have a car payment or student loan debts. It’s amazing how free you feel when you make such an empowering decision like staying home with your children.

I wish that for you.

This list of steps will show you exactly how we beat the odds and successfully transitioned into a single-income family of four.

10 Steps to Create a Successful Stay-at-Home Mom Budget

Let me just say we stunk at budgeting before my husband and I got married. Like really stunk at it. I even worked as a teller and couldn’t keep my finances straight. I can laugh now, but it caused its share of anxiety in me at the time. I dreamed of staying home with my children someday, but our debts and sloppy spending made it felt unachievable then.

These 10 steps revolutionized so much more than our budget. It reshaped my mindset about money, my role in our marriage, how we communicate, and how we plan for the future. Check ’em out:

Take a financial snapshot.

Look at what you’ve been spending, how much you owe in debt, what you have in savings, and what you earn each month. It takes time, but this is a great starting point for anyone looking to improve their finances.

Before you ever write another budget, make sure you’re aware of where your money is really going.

Calculate how much you NEED to live on each month.

This number is vital. It’s not how much you spend on cable or fast food or extra clothes for the kids. This is the total you need, absolutely need, each month to keep the lights on, put gas in the tank, and feed the family.

A great way to calculate that number is to add up your monthly bills. They’re typically a set amount. Then, include things you typically buy in a month like food and gas. This is the baseline for you to plan your stay-at-home mom budget. You know this much needs to come in. If you and your spouse currently bring in more than that, then let’s talk about some ideas for that extra money next.

Build up a buffer.

When you reduce your family income, it’s paramount to have an established savings account for unexpected expenses. Millions of families live paycheck to paycheck with no clear financial plan for the next blown transmission or trip to the ER. You can set yourself apart from that statistic. Choose an account today and commit to putting away $1,000 for emergencies only as fast as you can.

Demolish debt.

Eliminating as many monthly payments from your life as you can before you become a stay-at-home mom is huge. If you’re already home with the kids, it’s still as important as ever.

For example, my husband and I started applying more and more of my paycheck toward student loan debt. What we thought would take seven years took less than two. Intentionality will bring about big results in your life.

Meet regularly with your spouse or accountability partner.

While my husband and I were paying off extra toward debt and saving for emergencies, we met regularly to discuss our budget. We still do. It isn’t always easy, but carving out a 15-minute window once a month to make sure you’re on the same page will reduce your stress and set up your stay-at-home mom budget for success.

Need some help creating a budget? Here are several free downloadable budgeting forms.

Sleep on big financial decisions.

Give yourself a 24-hour window before you make any purchase more than a set dollar amount. This is especially important for houses, automobiles, furniture, and the like.

Leave room for fun.

Even though you’ll have less money in the budget once you’re a stay-at-home mom, it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. If it’s in your spending plan (and preferably not on a credit card), plan for fun outings or date nights or taking the children to the zoo. I even recommend a little fun money for you and your significant other to spend however you wish. A little freedom helps you life when finances tighten up.

Don’t compare yourself with others.

With social media, it’s almost impossible to not compare your life with others’. Remember this, though: It’s entirely possible they’re in debt up to their armpits and you don’t know it. Remember your reason for wanting to stay home. It may mean you have to live in a smaller house for a while, but the trade-off is more time with your kids.

Employ self-compassion when you fail.

You will fail. Your spouse will fail. Rather than give up and quit budgeting, give yourself some grace and try again. I’ve derailed more budgets than I can count. Working through that frustration and stress was like working a muscle. You will grow your abilities, too.

Focus on your behavior, not your numbers.

Ever read that quote about personal finance being 80 percent behavior and 20 percent head knowledge? It was true in my case. When I stopped chasing my credit score and started chasing a debt-free mindset, my account balance changed dramatically. What are some behaviors you can focus on that’ll help you establish a functional stay-at-home mom budget?

“What’s my next step?”

Hopefully, this article gave you some ideas on how to begin this journey. It’s meant to inspire and educate, but one blog post can only offer so much.

What I needed on my own journey toward staying home was a financial roadmap. Much of my husband’s and my experiences were trial and error (and more errors and some more errors). Beating the odds in 2014 lit a fire within me to help other women achieve this dream.Paperback-Book-Small-Spine-Mockup

That’s why I created a companion eBook to this article called “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint.” It’s packed with 150 ways to chop debt, save money, earn a side income from home, and implement a financial plan that WILL enable you to spend more time with your kids.

This eBook contains everything I wish I’d known when I started my journey, from surviving our first messy budget as newlyweds to figuring out coupons to earning my first $10,000 with my at-home writing business.

If this is your dream to spend more time at home, then I wrote this for you. Look, it’s not easy. We spent years making this transition without a guide like “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint.” Even so, it was worth it. Your journey will be, too.

May this resource empower you to take these steps to achieve what matters most to you.

Ready to grab your copy? Find “The Stay-at-Home Mom Blueprint” available here.

What’s your number ONE hurdle that prevents you from spending more time at home? Tell us about it in the comments below!

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Are you a stay-at-home mom? Make sure you bookmark or pin some of these resources for later!

Start a New Business: Franchise Opportunity at Working Mums

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working momMany new mothers hate the thought of having to go back to work after their maternity leave finishes. Not only do they feel guilty about leaving their child with child minders they worry about missing those important firsts, steps, words and the rest.

Staying at Home is Not an Option

For many part time work is not an option, their wage does not cover the child care costs so many are turning to franchise opportunities to allow them to earn enough to live on but also the flexibility to spend time with their children and fit work in with their child’s needs. While franchise opportunities have a number of advantages they also have a few disadvantages which you need to consider. More information about franchise opportunity can be viewed at www.workingmums.co.uk and this of course will be even more relevant if you happen to live in the UK.

The Advantages

The main advantage is of course that you fit your work around you, your children and your lifestyle. Others include the fact that the ‘parent company’ or franchiser will give you support throughout the term you choose to work, they provide a proven business strategy, training and help you advance if you wish.

They will also give you a brand name and as such you will benefit from their advertising campaigns and they will allow you access to existing suppliers making it easier for you to build up your business to a level you feel comfortable with. On top of all this you are your own boss, you work the hours you want and the way you want. You can also keep your business small or build it up depending upon what you want from it.

The Disadvantages

While this sounds great it is important to remember the disadvantages of franchise opportunities before you commit to one. The main one people come across is the fact that the cost of buying a franchise maybe higher than they first thought. After buying the initial franchise you pay management service fees and any profits you make are shared with the franchiser.

Many franchisers also place certain restrictions on how you can run the business meaning it might not be possible to adapt your strategy to the local market. While you maybe safe working for a big business it is not uncommon for them to go out of business leaving you with no job at a moment’s notice, although the same could be said for any job.

Have you ever considered operating a franchise? Why or why not?

Thinking About Home Again

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Do I want to be a tiger lady or a stay at home mom?Christie’s post got me thinking about staying at home and being a full time mom. This is something that has crossed my mind more than once since I had my kids. It is a bit different here though. Let me go through this a bit.

I have never wanted to be a stay at home mom. I can say that without feeling any shame or guilt because it is the truth. I can say for sure that as far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a corporate big shot. I dreamed of being the Tiger Lady, just as Dianne Keaton’s character was in ‘Baby Boom’ (a movie in the 80’s that is still one of my favorites today).  When I graduated from University, I made getting to that corner office a main goal. So when I got married and had kids, you can imaging how confusing it was for me to want to stay home and to want that big time job as well. It resulted in some pretty bad mommy guilt for a while.

Today, I am a single mom of two kids. I have a 5 year old who is ending his second year of preschool and a 3 year old who will start her first this year. I now would like to have a job that I feel fulfilled in and enough time to enjoy the fruits of my labor with my kids. How ironic that now that I want this, it doesn’t seem like the choice to make right now.

Single parenting is tough

My country is not so good with single parent support. The government believes heavily in the nuclear family and does a lot to support that model. We are only now starting to join the rest of the free world in creating support for other kinds of families. As such, it is impossible to rely on government support that is enough or sustainable as a single parent.  Schools are expensive here as well. At least private ones, and these are the best here, save the national university. And again, there is nothing there to help single income households.

So, to support my little family, I have to work a full time corporate job with some writing and teaching on the side.  Again, funny how that corner office might actually be possible at a time when I may prefer to take it a little easier.

So, stay at home mom life isn’t the way to go for now. But I am optimistic that it may become the case in the future. My grandfather always said that you get what you work for, so I am working to get that laid back life with my kids.

Just thought I would share that.

What are your thoughts on being a stay-at-home parent vs a working parent?

How to Decide if You Should Be an At-Home Parent

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Is being a stay-at-home mom right for you?I have always wanted to be an at-home Mom. Always! However, as my husband and I started to plan for a family, neither of us thought we could make that happen financially. We discussed that I could possibly go part time one day – maybe after baby #2.

At the time, I had been working for a family owned jewelry store for almost 9 years. I made a decent income,  was given a lot of responsibility, had fantastic customers, and a wonderful boss! It was all going pretty well and I really had no intention of leaving.

Once I finally did become pregnant – even after discovering early on that we were expecting twins – I still intended to go back to work. My boss’ Dad would say “Once you have those babies, you aren’t going to want to come back.” I would laugh and tell him that of course I would come back — how we were going to afford all those diapers anyway?

Well – right before I was due to go back to work – my husband and I did decide that I should stay home with the boys. Because I had been placed on bed rest – 3 months before the boys were born – we had to tighten up our budget even before they arrived and we decided we would be able make it work financially.

Staying home is not for everyone. People whose sense-of-self is strongly intertwined with their career, people get who depressed if they don’t get enough adult interaction, people who are not at all interested in staying home with their kids all day, or know that it would be a financial hardship on their family — might not want to become an at-home parent.

So how do you know if you are making the right decision to stay home?  Well, you have to ask yourself and your partner some important questions.

Can We Afford It?

This is usually the biggest question parents face. My husband and I thought there was no way we could manage – but what we didn’t realize – was how much money we were just frittering away. We cut back on a lot of things in the beginning; cable, dining out, and other unnecessary expenses. It was hard to go from buying what we wanted, planning for a bigger house, and getting a different vehicle — to just making do with what we had and finding ways to cut back on everything!

When we brought the babies home, they didn’t care that our house wasn’t bigger or any of the other stuff. All they cared about, is that they were surrounded by people who loved them and all their needs were met. That’s it! Admittedly, it was much harder on my husband and I — but we made it through, knowing that our boys have never had to do without. We always make it work and every year we become financially stronger.

Should I work Part-Time?

Working part-time is a great option. When the economy was really getting bad, my husband’s hours got cut at work. I decided to get a part-time job. I looked for something that wasn’t too stressful or time consuming. I found a fun job and worked there for two years. After 21 months of not being in the work force, it was nice to be back and working with the public. I’m a social person, I like people, and can talk to just about anyone. It felt good to have more adult interaction — even if I was working.

Working part-time can take away some of the guilt Moms (or Dads) can feel when they drop their child off at daycare. The child may only be there a couple of days a week and really love playing with other children. We didn’t do daycare for the boys because it wouldn’t have made sense financially – so when I was at work –  my husband was home with the boys.

Staying home also opened the door to other opportunities, I never really thought much about – like freelance writing. It’s something I have always wanted to do but never thought I could actually do professionally. I am happy to report that I was wrong. What are you most interested in and what are your talents? Could you teach a fitness class? Would you be great at selling cosmetics? Is graphic design your thing? There are many ways to make money doing what you love and still be able to stay home with your kids.

Will I Be Bored?

There is always tons stuff to do but you might get bored because you aren’t being challenged in the way that you had been at work. Especially in the beginning, it may be hard to get out and about. You probably won’t be around a lot of adults because your day will revolve around nap/feeding schedules. The first year with the boys, I really didn’t get out much at all. This can be really hard for some people – it was for me –  but I had great support which helped a lot.

The good news is, there are all kinds of groups for Moms and stay at home parents. The public library is fantastic with story times and other activities. There are groups, clubs and classes; which can get you and your children out and about.

Not everything you do has to involve your children. You can do volunteer work,  join a book club, and participate in Mom’s Night Out functions. Soon you’ll have the support of others like you.

Staying Home Vs. Working Outside the Home

Staying home involves giving up many things. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do. You have to be parent, teacher and homemaker. There is no time clock to punch when your day is done. You are on-call even in the middle of the night.

However, staying home is also the most rewarding work you will ever do. There may not be any big promotions or exciting business trips to go on but as you see your children grow, learn, and discover the world around them — your heart will become so full of joy you might think it will burst.

Going back to work will involve balancing your job, time with your kids and spouse, household chores, and everything else in between. It’s a delicate juggling act, to be sure.

In turn, going back to work can provide a sense-of-self; which some people may not feel when they stay home, you may find that you are stronger financially (which is a stress reliever), and you really make the most of each moment you do have with your family, because it is so very precious.

No matter what you decide — make sure you really think things through. Remember that all any of us can do —  is our very best. Whether you decide to stay home or work, your children will love you and your life will be extra blessed because you’re a parent.

What are your thoughts on being a stay at home parent?