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“Sleep When the Baby Sleeps” and Other Lies We Tell New Moms

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Sleep When the Baby Sleeps and Other Lies We Tell New Moms
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“Sleep when the baby sleeps” sounds like great advice—until you’re staring at a pile of laundry, bottles in the sink, and a body that feels like it’s been hit by a bus. New moms are bombarded with well-meaning suggestions, many of which feel more like myths than actual help. While the intention behind them might be kind, the pressure they create is anything but. Instead of comfort, these common phrases often leave moms wondering what they’re doing wrong when the reality is that motherhood just isn’t that simple. Let’s break down some of the biggest lies new moms are told—and what new parents really need instead.

1. “Sleep When the Baby Sleeps”

This classic line sounds like a dream, but it’s rarely realistic. Babies nap in short, unpredictable spurts, often leaving just enough time for a mom to sit down before being needed again. Meanwhile, there’s a mountain of responsibilities waiting—dishes, diapers, laundry, and sometimes, just eating. Plus, not every mom can magically drift off during the day, especially with postpartum anxiety or overstimulation. While rest is important, expecting moms to nap every time their baby does sets an impossible standard.

2. “Breastfeeding Comes Naturally”

For some moms, yes, breastfeeding clicks easily—but for many others, it’s a steep learning curve. From latch issues to low milk supply and pain, it can be physically and emotionally overwhelming. Add in the guilt that comes when it doesn’t go smoothly, and the pressure is intense. Moms need support, not shame, whether they breastfeed, formula-feed, or do a little of both. Feeding a baby is hard work, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

3. “You’ll Bounce Back in No Time”

The obsession with moms “bouncing back” after birth ignores the physical and emotional toll childbirth takes. Recovery isn’t linear—there’s healing, hormonal changes, and adjusting to a brand-new role. Many moms don’t feel like themselves for months, or even years, and that’s completely normal. Putting pressure on new moms to reclaim their pre-baby body or routine immediately only adds to their stress. The truth? You don’t need to bounce back—you just need to be supported as you move forward.

4. “Enjoy Every Moment”

While well-meaning, this advice can feel like a guilt trip in disguise. Yes, babies grow quickly, but that doesn’t mean every moment is magical. Some are exhausting, messy, and emotionally draining, and it’s okay to not enjoy them. Telling moms to cherish every second can make them feel guilty for having a tough day—or a tough month. Love your baby, but also allow space for honesty about how hard it is.

5. “If You’re Doing It Right, It Will Feel Natural”

This phrase implies that struggle means failure, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Parenting is learned, not instinctive, and every baby is different. Even seasoned moms can feel lost with a new child. Navigating feedings, sleep, cries, and your own emotions is anything but easy. The learning curve is steep, and no one has it all figured out—certainly not right away.

6. “You Don’t Need Help, Just Trust Your Instincts”

Maternal instincts are real for some, but even for those that swear they have them, those instincts aren’t magical powers that solve everything. Suggesting that moms shouldn’t ask for help sets them up to struggle in silence. New parents need community, guidance, and breaks—not pressure to be a superhero. It’s okay not to know what to do and to rely on others. Parenting is tough work, and asking for help should be seen as strength, not weakness.

7. “You’ll Know Exactly What Your Baby Needs”

Sometimes a baby cries and you have no clue why—and that’s normal. It takes time to learn your baby’s cues, and sometimes there are no clear answers. New moms can feel overwhelmed when they don’t immediately “get it right,” especially if they were told they’d just know. There’s no shame in trial and error, calling the pediatrician, or turning to a baby book or online forum. Parenting is part intuition, part detective work, and part surviving until bedtime.

8. “Don’t Worry, It Gets Easier”

This phrase is often said to comfort, but it can also feel dismissive. Some things do get easier—babies start sleeping longer, routines develop—but new challenges replace the old ones. Comparing hard moments to some future easier time can invalidate a mom’s current struggle. It’s better to say, “You’re doing a great job right now,” and offer support in the moment. Moms don’t need timelines—they need empathy.

9. “Motherhood Is the Most Fulfilling Thing You’ll Ever Do”

Motherhood can be fulfilling, but it’s also exhausting, frustrating, isolating, and emotionally complex. Expecting moms to feel fulfilled all the time erases the moments when it feels like too much. Some days are magical; others are survival mode. It’s okay to love your baby deeply and still crave a break, adult conversation, or parts of your old self. That doesn’t make anyone less of a mom—it makes them human.

Let’s Start Telling Moms the Truth Instead

New moms don’t need unrealistic platitudes—they need honesty, support, and grace. Saying “sleep when the baby sleeps” oversimplifies a life-altering transition that’s anything but simple. The truth is that parenthood is messy, emotional, and different for everyone, and that’s perfectly okay. Instead of pushing myths, let’s normalize real talk and celebrate survival just as much as success. Because being honest about the hard stuff doesn’t make anyone a bad mom—it makes them a stronger one.

What’s a piece of advice you received as a new parent that turned out to be completely off base? Share your thoughts in the comments—we’d love to hear your story!

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Secrets from the Mouths of Babes: 10 Hilarious Things My Kid Said That Accidentally Exposed Life’s Truths!

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Secrets from the Mouths of Babes 10 Hilarious Things My Kid Said That Accidentally Exposed Lifes Truths
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Kids have a way of saying the most ridiculous, insightful, and brutally honest things at the exact wrong—or right—moment. While we’re busy teaching them how the world works, they’re unintentionally revealing uncomfortable truths about life with nothing more than a juice box in hand and a messy face. Sometimes, their observations are hilarious. Other times, they’re borderline genius. Here are ten hilarious things my kid said that made me laugh out loud before realizing… they weren’t entirely wrong.

1. “You need a timeout, Mommy.”

This came after I muttered something under my breath about laundry for the third time in an hour. My child’s timeout suggestion wasn’t exactly off-base. Toddlers don’t just notice tone—they notice when their grownups are frazzled. That accidental dose of honesty reminded me that sometimes parents need timeouts just as much as kids do. Lesson learned: Walk away from the laundry pile before you lose your cool.

2. “Why does coffee make you nicer?”

After being handed a lukewarm mug of coffee by my four-year-old one morning, he smiled and said this like he was solving a mystery. It was funny, yes, but also kind of terrifyingly accurate. My caffeine dependence was clearly no secret to my children. They had already drawn a connection between my mood and my mug. Life truth: your habits say more than your words ever will.

3. “You said bad words but in your eyes.”

My five-year-old said this after I got cut off in traffic and didn’t technically curse. It was a good reminder that nonverbal communication is very real and very loud to kids. They pick up on vibes, tension, and unspoken messages faster than we give them credit for. Apparently, my eyes have a mouth of their own. Time to work on that resting road rage face.

4. “If money is made of paper, why can’t we just make more?”

A classic preschool economic theory that still makes more sense than some financial policies. My kid asked this after I explained why we couldn’t buy a new toy that day. I laughed at the time, but it turned into an unexpected conversation about value and responsibility. Their logic may be simple, but sometimes it cuts to the heart of adult complications. Budgeting suddenly felt a lot more philosophical.

5. “I don’t want to grow up if it means getting tired all the time.”

Honestly, same. This gem came during a bedtime stall tactic, but it struck me deep in my adult soul. Kids view grown-ups as permanently exhausted, and it’s no wonder. Their comment made me realize how often I respond to “How are you?” with a version of “tired.” Sometimes the truth comes in footie pajamas.

6. “Why do you look happy but sound mad?”

This was my child’s reaction when I smiled and told them it was “fine” that they dumped a full bag of flour onto the floor. Clearly, I was fooling no one. Kids are tiny emotional detectives. That moment taught me to stop masking frustration with fake cheer and instead speak calmly—but honestly. They know when something’s off, even if you’re doing your best sitcom mom impression.

7. “Why does everyone say ‘I’m fine’ when they’re not?”

This was overheard during a conversation I didn’t think they were paying attention to. Apparently, kids not only listen but analyze adult patterns with Sherlock-level focus. It’s wild how a five-year-old can poke holes in the emotional armor we all wear. The world would be a lot simpler if we just said what we meant—like kids do.

8. “You said to share, but you hide your snacks.”

Busted. I had stashed my favorite chocolate behind the coffee filters, thinking no one would notice. Except my observant child caught on and called me out, mid-meltdown over sharing toys. It turns out the “do as I say, not as I do” model doesn’t work on toddlers. If you’re preaching kindness and fairness, your secret candy stash better stay very secret.

9. “You should nap more. You’re nicer after naps.”

When your child basically schedules self-care for you, you know you’ve hit a wall. After a particularly grumpy morning, this unsolicited observation hit me right in the sleep-deprived conscience. It’s hard to argue with someone wearing superhero pajamas who’s holding up a blanket like a peace offering. Take the nap. You probably need it.

10. “Your phone gets more hugs than me.”

Ouch. This was said while I was scrolling during what was supposed to be “together time.” Kids notice where your attention goes, and they take it personally. That one sentence made me set the phone down faster than any screen time reminder. Sometimes life’s most honest feedback comes from three feet tall and full of truth bombs.

Little Voices, Big Lessons

It’s easy to dismiss kids’ funny sayings as nonsense, but hidden in their innocent words are some serious life truths. Whether it’s calling out your caffeine habit, noticing emotional disconnects, or pointing out your snack hoarding, their observations often reflect what we need to hear. The hilarious things my kid said made me laugh—but they also made me think, adjust, and occasionally cry into my coffee. The next time your child says something weirdly insightful, write it down. It might just be the most honest mirror you’ve got.

What’s the funniest or most unexpectedly deep thing your kid has ever said? Drop it in the comments—we’re ready to laugh and cry with you!

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8 Big Questions Kids Ask About Growing Up (And How to Answer Them Honestly)

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8 Big Questions Kids Ask About Growing Up And How to Answer Them Honestly

At some point, every child starts to wonder what it really means to grow up, and they don’t hold back when it comes to asking tough, sometimes surprising questions. Whether it’s about their changing bodies, emotional swings, or life after childhood, kids crave answers that are honest, clear, and comforting. The challenge for parents? Navigating these conversations with the right balance of truth, age-appropriateness, and sensitivity. If you’ve ever stumbled over a response or felt caught off guard, you’re not alone. Here are eight big questions kids ask about growing up and how to answer them with honesty and confidence.

1. “Why Does My Body Look Different Than Before?”

This is one of the most common big questions kids ask about growing up, especially during the early stages of puberty. Acknowledge that their body is changing because it’s getting ready for adulthood, and reassure them that it happens to everyone, just at different speeds. Use real words for body parts and avoid teasing, even in a lighthearted way. It’s helpful to mention that growth spurts, weight changes, and body hair are all completely normal. Encourage them to ask questions whenever they feel confused or unsure about what’s happening.

2. “Will I Still Be Me When I’m Grown Up?”

Children often worry that growing up means losing who they are. Let them know that while they’ll grow and change, their core self—what makes them them-doesn’t disappear. Explain that growing up means learning more about their strengths, discovering new interests, and becoming more independent. Reassure them that change isn’t something to fear; it’s a part of becoming more confident and capable. This question is a great opportunity to talk about self-identity and staying true to yourself through life’s changes.

3. “Why Do Grown-Ups Always Seem So Stressed?”

Kids notice more than we think, including the mood swings and pressures adults experience. One of the more thoughtful big questions kids ask about growing up is about why adulthood seems so hard. Be honest, without overloading them. You can say that being a grown-up includes responsibilities like work, paying bills, and caring for others, but it also comes with freedom and the ability to make your own choices. Let them know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, and grown-ups are still figuring things out, too.

4. “When Will I Be Old Enough to Do What I Want?”

This question usually comes up when kids feel restricted, like when they want to stay up late or walk to the store alone. Explain that growing up involves earning trust and proving responsibility over time. Talk about how privileges increase with age, but so do expectations and consequences. Make it clear that rules aren’t meant to punish, but to protect and guide. Encourage them to focus on developing independence gradually, rather than rushing into it.

5. “What If I Don’t Want to Grow Up?”

This surprisingly emotional question stems from fear of change or anxiety about the unknown. Let your child know they’re not weird or wrong for feeling this way—it’s actually very common. You can validate their feelings by admitting that some parts of growing up can be scary, but also share the exciting aspects like making your own decisions, pursuing dreams, and forming deeper friendships. Be patient and let them talk through their concerns without trying to “fix” the feeling. Remind them that growing up doesn’t happen overnight, and they don’t have to have everything figured out.

6. “What Happens When You Fall in Love?”

Curious minds want to know—and this question might come sooner than expected. One of the more personal big questions kids ask about growing up revolves around love, attraction, and relationships. Start with a simple explanation: falling in love is when you care deeply about someone and feel happy, safe, and connected to them. You can talk about friendship, trust, and respect as the foundation for any healthy relationship. Use the conversation to model what a positive partnership looks like, and don’t be afraid to mention that love can be complicated sometimes.

7. “Why Don’t I Feel Like a Kid Anymore?”

This question often comes during those in-between years, when kids feel too old for toys but not quite ready for teenage life. Let them know it’s normal to feel caught in the middle. Talk about how growing up happens in stages, and feeling confused, emotional, or unsure of your place is part of the process. Reassure them that they’re not alone and that everyone goes through this awkward stage. Share a story from your own adolescence to make the transition feel less isolating.

8. “What Will I Be When I Grow Up?”

Ah, the classic future-focused question. Rather than pressure your child to pick a career, encourage them to explore their interests and be open to discovering new things. Help them understand that it’s okay not to have all the answers right now. Let them know that growing up means figuring things out little by little and that no path has to be set in stone. The more freedom they feel to imagine, the more likely they are to find a passion worth pursuing.

Growing Up Is a Conversation, Not a Lecture

The most important thing you can do when your child starts asking the big questions is to stay present and approachable. You don’t have to have all the answers or say everything perfectly. What matters most is that they know they can come to you—and that you’ll listen without judgment. These moments of curiosity are golden opportunities to connect, teach, and strengthen trust. And when your child feels heard, they grow not just in body, but in confidence, too.

What’s one of the most surprising or touching questions your child has asked about growing up? Share your story in the comments!

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8 Regrets Parents Admit Only After Their Kids Grow Up

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8 Regrets Parents Admit Only After Their Kids Grow Up

Parenting is full of joy, but it’s also packed with moments that slip through your fingers before you even realize they’re gone. In the thick of raising kids—amid sleepless nights, messy living rooms, and rushed school mornings—it’s easy to believe you’ll always have time for the little things. But once your kids are grown, certain regrets have a way of catching up. You remember what you missed, what you rushed through, and what you never made space for. Here are eight parenting regrets many only admit after the kids are out of the house, and why they matter more than we realize.

1. Not Being Fully Present

Many parents admit they were physically there but mentally elsewhere during their kids’ younger years. Between work deadlines, phone distractions, and daily stress, quality time often gets replaced with multitasking. Looking back, it’s the small interactions—listening to silly stories, lingering at bedtime, or watching them just be—that parents wish they’d made more time for. Kids grow fast, and those moments don’t come back. Being present doesn’t require perfection, just intention.

2. Yelling Too Much

Yelling may seem like a normal part of parenting, especially on the hard days, but it often leaves a lasting sting. Parents frequently look back and wish they’d paused before reacting, especially when yelling didn’t solve anything and only widened the emotional distance. What seemed like discipline often feels like regret in hindsight. Many admit they wish they’d used more patience and fewer raised voices. The goal isn’t to be silent—but to be calm and constructive.

3. Putting Too Much Pressure on Academics

While school and achievement are important, many parents realize too late that stressing over grades didn’t build the connection they hoped for. Some now regret turning homework into nightly battles or pushing their kids into perfection over progress. Emotional health, creativity, and curiosity often get overlooked in the pursuit of gold stars. A child’s worth isn’t measured by report cards, and neither is the parent-child relationship. Looking back, most wish they’d focused more on encouragement than expectations.

4. Comparing Them to Others

Whether it was a sibling, a classmate, or a family friend, comparisons often left children feeling not good enough. Parents may have thought they were motivating, but in hindsight, they recognize it built insecurity instead. Every child develops on their own timeline with their own strengths, and constant comparison robs them of confidence. It’s a regret many carry, especially when those words echo back years later. Celebrating individuality is what helps kids thrive.

5. Missing the Little Moments

So much of parenting feels like managing chaos, and it’s easy to underestimate how meaningful the small stuff is. Packing lunches, listening to them ramble about video games, or watching a dance they made up in the living room—those are the moments that become precious memories. Many parents regret rushing through them or brushing them off. Big events are great, but it’s the ordinary days that stick in your heart. Slow down when you can, even if just for a minute.

6. Focusing Too Much on Discipline

Structure and boundaries are necessary, but some parents realize they were so focused on correcting behavior that they missed chances to build connection. Constant discipline without enough play, laughter, or listening creates distance. Looking back, many wish they’d paused to understand instead of just reacting to misbehavior. Rules matter, but relationships matter more. Kids remember how you made them feel far longer than the rules you enforced.

7. Not Apologizing When It Mattered

Many parents admit they had a hard time saying “I’m sorry” when they were wrong. Whether it was an unfair punishment, a harsh word, or a misunderstanding, those moments left scars that could’ve been softened with accountability. Kids don’t need perfect parents—they need honest ones. Apologizing teaches empathy and trust, and it models how to handle mistakes with grace. Looking back, many wish they’d prioritized humility over control.

8. Worrying About What Others Thought

From how their kids dressed to how their parenting was perceived, many parents admit they spent too much time worried about appearances. Social pressure to “get it right” often led to choices that didn’t feel authentic—or that prioritized judgment over joy. In hindsight, parents wish they’d focused less on outside opinions and more on what truly mattered for their own family. No one else lives in your home, and their opinions shouldn’t steer your parenting.

Regret Can Shape Better Moments Moving Forward

It’s easy to dwell on the mistakes, but regret doesn’t have to end in guilt—it can lead to growth. Even if your kids are older, there’s still time to show up differently, to reconnect, to listen more, and to heal what feels unresolved. Parenting doesn’t stop at 18, and reflection can build better bonds for the future. It’s never too late to offer more presence, more grace, and more love. The most meaningful changes often start with an honest look back.

Which parenting regret hit closest to home for you? What would you tell your younger parenting self if you could? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Why Some Parents Resent Their Kids—But Can’t Say It Out Loud

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Why Some Parents Resent Their Kids But Cant Say It Out Loud

It’s the secret many parents carry in silence: moments of resentment toward the very children they love more than anything. These feelings are often tangled in guilt, buried under the weight of expectation, and dismissed with a quick “I’m just tired.” But they’re real, and they matter—because ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. Resentment doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent; it means you’re human, stretched thin in a role that demands more than anyone ever admits. Exploring why some parents feel this way can help shift the narrative from shame to self-awareness, and maybe even offer some peace in the process.

1. The Loss of Personal Identity

Becoming a parent often means putting your own goals, needs, and identity on pause—or at least turning the volume way down. You stop being Sarah or Michael and start being “Mom” or “Dad” around the clock. The hobbies, dreams, and independence that once defined you may feel like distant memories. Over time, that erasure of self can lead to frustration and emotional fatigue. Feeling resentment in moments like this isn’t about blaming the child—it’s about mourning the version of yourself that feels like it disappeared.

2. The Constant Mental Load

It’s not just the physical work of parenting that wears people down—it’s the invisible checklist that never stops running. From remembering appointments and managing school deadlines to tracking who likes what snack this week, the mental load is endless. When one parent carries the majority of that burden, even small requests can feel like the final straw. This imbalance can create tension and lead to quiet resentment, especially when it feels like no one sees how much you’re doing. It’s not the child causing the stress—it’s the system you’re stuck navigating.

3. Unrealistic Expectations and Pressure

Social media, parenting books, and even well-meaning friends can set standards that no real human can meet. Parents feel pressure to be endlessly patient, creative, emotionally present, and perfectly balanced—every single day. When real life doesn’t match that highlight reel, it’s easy to feel like a failure. Resentment can bubble up when you’re constantly chasing a version of parenthood that doesn’t actually exist. Sometimes, just acknowledging that you’re doing enough is the first step toward releasing that pressure.

4. Lack of Support or Help

Parenting was never meant to be done in isolation, yet many parents find themselves raising children without a village. Whether it’s a missing co-parent, absent family, or just a lack of community support, doing it all alone can break even the most devoted caregiver. Resentment grows when the weight of raising a family falls solely on one person’s shoulders. It’s not about loving your child less—it’s about needing help and not getting it.

5. Feeling Trapped or Stuck

It’s not uncommon for parents to feel like they’ve lost control over their time, their energy, or even their future. Career paths may shift, social lives may vanish, and financial goals might get put on hold indefinitely. When everything in life feels dictated by nap schedules, school pickups, and tantrum management, even the most grateful parent can feel trapped. That sense of being stuck can lead to guilt-laced resentment, especially when there’s no clear off-ramp or break in sight.

6. Emotional Exhaustion and Burnout

There’s tired, and then there’s parent tired—a whole-body, whole-soul kind of exhaustion that builds day after day. When your emotional cup is empty, small things feel big, and patience runs thin. You might resent the sound of your name being called 400 times a day, not because you don’t love your child, but because you haven’t had a quiet thought in weeks. Burnout isn’t a failure—it’s a warning sign that something needs to change. Parents aren’t robots, and without care and rest, even the best intentions wear down.

7. Grieving the Life You Imagined

Sometimes the life you pictured before having kids looks nothing like the one you’re living now. Whether it’s a child with special needs, financial hardship, or simply the reality that parenting is harder than expected, unmet expectations can hurt. Grief isn’t always about loss in the traditional sense—it can also come from the gap between hope and reality. That gap can create resentment, especially when no one talks about how common it is. Recognizing that grief doesn’t negate love is a powerful way to move forward.

8. Comparison With Other Families

Watching other parents seem to breeze through parenting with smiling kids and organic snacks can be enough to make anyone feel resentful. Comparison is the thief of joy, but it’s hard not to measure yourself against other families who appear to have it all together. It’s especially painful when your own situation feels messy, loud, or lonely in contrast. That bitterness isn’t about your child—it’s about the crushing feeling that everyone else has a map and you’re just guessing. Remember, you’re only seeing the highlight reel—not the behind-the-scenes chaos.

9. Lack of Honest Conversation

Most parents never say these things out loud—not to friends, not to partners, and definitely not to themselves. The silence around resentment only makes it worse, locking parents into cycles of guilt and shame. But bringing these feelings into the light doesn’t make you ungrateful or unfit—it makes you real. Honest conversations create space for healing, self-reflection, and even better connection with your kids. Parenting is hard, and talking about it should never be taboo.

Naming It Doesn’t Mean You Love Them Less

Resentment is one of the most misunderstood emotions in parenting, but it’s often rooted in unmet needs—not in a lack of love. When we allow space to explore these feelings without shame, we give ourselves room to grow, recover, and reconnect. Admitting that you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or lost doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you human. By naming what’s hard, you open the door to healthier, more honest parenting. And sometimes, saying the quiet part out loud is exactly what sets you free.

Have you ever felt resentment as a parent? What helped you work through it? Share your story in the comments so no one has to feel alone.

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8 Excuses Parents Make That Their Kids Will Resent Later

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8 Excuses Parents Make That Their Kids Will Resent Later

Most parents mean well. They’re juggling a million responsibilities, managing emotions, and trying to raise decent human beings without losing their own minds in the process. But sometimes, in the rush to explain things away or avoid discomfort, they fall back on convenient excuses—short-term fixes that can have long-term consequences. Kids may accept those explanations at the time, but they remember how those words made them feel. Eventually, those quick justifications can turn into resentment.

Children don’t need perfect parents, but they do need honest ones. When parents make excuses instead of owning their choices or mistakes, it teaches kids to question their trust and worth. If you’ve ever said one of these things, don’t panic—every parent slips. But recognizing these patterns and learning how to course-correct can make a big difference in your relationship down the road.

1. “I’m Too Busy”

Saying “I’m too busy” might be true, but it stings more than parents realize. To a child, it often feels like “You’re not important enough.” Kids don’t expect every moment of your time, but they do notice when they’re always last on your priority list. Over time, this excuse can damage self-esteem and create emotional distance. Instead of brushing them off, try saying, “I can’t right now, but let’s set a time when I can focus just on you.”

2. “You’re Too Young to Understand”

This excuse shuts down curiosity and invalidates your child’s emotional experience. It may feel easier than giving a real explanation, but it sends the message that their thoughts and feelings don’t matter. While it’s true that some topics need to be age-appropriate, kids often understand more than we give them credit for. Offering a simplified but honest answer builds trust. It also lays the foundation for open communication as they grow older.

3. “That’s Just How I Was Raised”

Using your own childhood as a blanket justification for your parenting decisions doesn’t hold up for long. It can come off as an excuse to avoid learning, adapting, or apologizing. Kids want to feel like their parents are thinking about their needs, not simply repeating old patterns. What worked in one generation doesn’t always work in the next. Showing your child you’re willing to grow is far more impactful than clinging to “the way things were.”

4. “I’m Doing This for Your Own Good”

This one is tricky because sometimes it is true, but it’s also often used to justify control or dismiss emotion. If your child struggles to understand a decision, this phrase can feel manipulative rather than reassuring. Kids want to be heard, not steamrolled. Explaining the reasoning behind a decision and acknowledging their feelings goes a long way. Respect doesn’t cancel out authority—it strengthens it.

5. “You’ll Thank Me Someday”

Maybe they will. But that’s not much comfort when they’re hurting or confused in the present. This phrase can feel condescending and dismissive, especially when used in emotionally charged situations. Kids want empathy, not a future prediction. It’s okay to hold boundaries, but don’t skip the part where you acknowledge how hard it might feel for them right now.

6. “Because I Said So”

This classic fallback shuts down dialogue and signals that power matters more than understanding. It may work in the moment, but over time, it chips away at connection and trust. Children need boundaries, but they also need reasons to help them make sense of the world. Explaining your decisions doesn’t weaken your authority—it shows respect. The goal is to raise kids who follow rules and understand why they exist.

7. “I Can’t Help It”

When parents use this phrase to explain anger, withdrawal, or unhealthy habits, it sends the message that they have no control over themselves. This can be scary or confusing for children, who look to parents for safety and consistency. It’s okay to struggle, but taking responsibility matters more than pretending it’s out of your hands. Saying “I’m working on this” is far more comforting than “That’s just how I am.”

8. “I’m Doing My Best”

This one is often true and deeply human, but it can still fall flat if it’s used to avoid accountability. When a child is hurt by something you’ve said or done, saying “I’m doing my best” may come off as deflecting their pain. Kids don’t expect perfection but want to feel like their experiences matter. Try saying, “I didn’t handle that well. I’m learning, and I want to do better.” That honesty is something they’ll respect and remember.

Your Words Will Echo Longer Than You Think

The phrases we say in passing can leave a lasting mark on our kids. What feels like a harmless excuse now may shape how they see you—and themselves—for years to come. Parenting with awareness, humility, and honesty helps build relationships rooted in trust, not resentment. Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one who’s willing to own their words and grow.

Have you caught yourself using one of these phrases? How do you repair the moment with your child? Let’s talk in the comments.

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Parent appearing conflicted about raising children
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Parenting is often associated with words like “joy,” “love,” and “fulfillment.”

But beneath the sleepless nights, never-ending laundry, and countless car rides lies a quieter narrative that more parents are confronting—regret. It might sound alarming.

After all, how can a parent love their child yet wish they didn’t have them? For some, the ongoing sacrifices required by parenthood clash with what they once imagined family life would be. Harder still, most parents who feel this way don’t find it easy to come out and say it.

Below, we’ll explore what parental regret looks like, why it’s more common than assumed, and how we can make space for honesty and healing.

A Surprising Number of Parents Feel Regret

While taboo, research indicates that parental regret isn’t as rare as we think. Between 5% and 14% of parents say they regret having children.

This revelation doesn’t mean they don’t love their kids; rather, it highlights how difficult daily caregiving can be when expectations collide with reality.

For example, a Financial Samurai analysis reveals how unmet financial goals and unexpected lifestyle changes often amplify these feelings of regret. Nevertheless, parents rarely voice these sentiments publicly, fearing judgment from their communities.

The Mental and Physical Toll of Regret

Parental regret can impact both mental and physical health. Many parents dealing with it cite increased stress, symptoms of depression, and strain in personal relationships. Financial worries often worsen these struggles, as raising kids is expensive and can lead to lifestyle sacrifices that overshadow initial hopes.

Lingering regret can further feed parental guilt, making parents feel stuck between loving their child deeply and yearning for a life they no longer have. This emotional tug-of-war, combined with constant fatigue, takes a toll over time.

Why It Feels Impossible to Say Out Loud

If you’ve ever thought you couldn’t openly discuss how challenging parenting can be, you’re in good company. Societal norms paint parenting—especially motherhood—as an endlessly grateful role.

Consequently, admitting to regret triggers shame and the fear of being labeled “unloving” or “selfish.” This stigma is so strong that many parents keep quiet, missing out on help they might receive if they felt safe enough to share. As TIME’s exploration of the regret taboo points out, the code of silence doesn’t just hurt the parent—it also creates a cycle of isolation that can elevate stress and erode mental health.

looking emotionally distant
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Parenting Can Strain Even the Strongest Relationships

Parenthood doesn’t just transform individuals; it reshapes partnerships, too. While children bring love and purpose to many couples, the day-to-day demands—lack of sleep, limited couple time, increased responsibilities—can strain even solid relationships.

Over time, this can cement regret for parents who feel blindsided by how much their marriage or personal life has changed. Yet because divorce or therapy can feel stigmatized in some communities, parents bury these feelings to “keep the family together,” only amplifying the regret beneath the surface.

Grieving the Life You Used to Have Is Real

We talk a lot about postpartum experiences, but we rarely mention the grief many parents feel for their “old life.” They might miss spontaneous weekend getaways, uninterrupted hobbies, or even simpler tasks like going grocery shopping alone. These losses can be normal, but they’re often mislabeled as selfish or ungrateful.

The truth is, you can adore your child and still long for pockets of the freedom you once had. Recognizing that these emotions can coexist is a vital step toward preventing deeper regret from taking root.

Let’s Talk About It: Creating Space for Honesty

Regret doesn’t have to define you as a parent or overshadow your love for your child. Opening up about these conflicted feelings can actually lead to more support, empathy, and better self-awareness.

Online forums and mental health professionals now offer spaces for parents to share candidly without fear of judgment. Reframing regret not as a condemnation, but as an indicator that something in your life might need adjusting—such as needing more help, rest, or recalibrated expectations—can help you move forward with less guilt.

Building a Future Where Parents Feel Seen

The fact is, parenting isn’t monolithic. If regret has a place in your story, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.

More likely, it’s a sign you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or lacking the support structures essential for thriving in your role. Talking about regret candidly paves the way for real solutions: improved family policies, better mental health resources, and a culture that acknowledges parenting’s highs and lows.

Change begins when we accept that not all regrets stem from a lack of love—often, they arise from a lack of balance and understanding.

Have you, or someone you know, ever dealt with the silent weight of parental regret? What helped you find peace—or at least acceptance—within that experience? Feel free to share your thoughts and stories in the comments.

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