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False Assumptions: 4 Parenting Assumptions That Are Harmful

July 5, 2025 | Leave a Comment

False Assumptions 4 Parenting Assumptions That Are Harmful

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Parenting comes with advice from every direction—books, blogs, family, friends, and even strangers at the grocery store. But some of the most common parenting assumptions are actually rooted in outdated beliefs or unrealistic expectations. While they may be well-meaning, these assumptions can quietly shape how we respond to our kids, sometimes causing more harm than good. As parents, being aware of the false ideas we’ve absorbed can help us make more intentional and compassionate choices. Let’s take a closer look at four harmful parenting assumptions that deserve to be challenged.

1. “Good Kids Always Listen the First Time”

This assumption sounds reasonable—after all, every parent wants a child who listens. But expecting kids to obey immediately overlooks their developmental stage and natural emotional reactions. Children often need repetition, patience, and support as they process what’s being asked of them. Treating delayed responses as defiance can create unnecessary power struggles and damage trust. It’s far more helpful to view listening as a skill that takes time to develop, not a trait that automatically shows whether your child is “good.”

2. “If You’re Not Tough, They’ll Walk All Over You”

This is one of the most persistent parenting assumptions, especially in households that value discipline. The idea that kindness equals weakness pushes parents to take a hardline approach, even when it doesn’t feel right. In reality, calm and consistent parenting often creates more respect than harsh rules or punishments. Children who feel heard are more likely to cooperate—not because they fear consequences, but because they trust their caregivers. Leading with empathy doesn’t mean being permissive; it means guiding with connection first.

3. “They’re Just Trying to Get Attention”

It’s easy to dismiss a child’s big emotions or disruptive behavior as attention-seeking. But labeling it that way can minimize a child’s needs and ignore what’s really going on underneath. Children may act out when they feel disconnected, overwhelmed, or unsure how to express themselves. Calling it “just for attention” often leads to ignoring the child, when what they need most is reassurance and support. Reframing these moments as bids for connection changes the dynamic and builds emotional resilience.

4. “Parents Should Know Exactly What to Do”

This assumption weighs heavily on new and seasoned parents alike, setting up the false belief that uncertainty equals failure. No one gets a manual when their child is born, and every child is different—what worked with one may not work with another. Expecting yourself to always have the answer can lead to shame, burnout, and decision paralysis. It’s okay to say, “I’m not sure, but I’m learning.” Asking for help or taking time to reflect shows strength, not weakness.

Rethinking the Script Helps Everyone Thrive

Letting go of harmful parenting assumptions isn’t about doing everything perfectly—it’s about choosing what’s true and helpful over what’s traditionally expected. When we pause to question the assumptions we’ve absorbed, we open the door to more compassionate, flexible parenting. Our kids benefit from that shift, but so do we. Parenting is already tough enough without outdated ideas whispering in our ear. The more we rethink the script, the better chance we have at raising confident, emotionally secure kids.

What parenting assumptions have you had to unlearn? Share your experience in the comments to help other parents feel less alone.

Read More:

10 Parenting Phrases That Do More Harm Than Good

5 Common Parenting Tips That Did More Harm Than Good

Catherine Reed
Catherine Reed

Catherine is a tech-savvy writer who has focused on the personal finance space for more than eight years. She has a Bachelor’s in Information Technology and enjoys showcasing how tech can simplify everyday personal finance tasks like budgeting, spending tracking, and planning for the future. Additionally, she’s explored the ins and outs of the world of side hustles and loves to share what she’s learned along the way. When she’s not working, you can find her relaxing at home in the Pacific Northwest with her two cats or enjoying a cup of coffee at her neighborhood cafe.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: child development, emotional parenting, family advice, gentle parenting, parenting assumptions, parenting challenges, parenting expectations, parenting myths, Positive Parenting

“Sleep When the Baby Sleeps” and Other Lies We Tell New Moms

June 18, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Sleep When the Baby Sleeps and Other Lies We Tell New Moms
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“Sleep when the baby sleeps” sounds like great advice—until you’re staring at a pile of laundry, bottles in the sink, and a body that feels like it’s been hit by a bus. New moms are bombarded with well-meaning suggestions, many of which feel more like myths than actual help. While the intention behind them might be kind, the pressure they create is anything but. Instead of comfort, these common phrases often leave moms wondering what they’re doing wrong when the reality is that motherhood just isn’t that simple. Let’s break down some of the biggest lies new moms are told—and what new parents really need instead.

1. “Sleep When the Baby Sleeps”

This classic line sounds like a dream, but it’s rarely realistic. Babies nap in short, unpredictable spurts, often leaving just enough time for a mom to sit down before being needed again. Meanwhile, there’s a mountain of responsibilities waiting—dishes, diapers, laundry, and sometimes, just eating. Plus, not every mom can magically drift off during the day, especially with postpartum anxiety or overstimulation. While rest is important, expecting moms to nap every time their baby does sets an impossible standard.

2. “Breastfeeding Comes Naturally”

For some moms, yes, breastfeeding clicks easily—but for many others, it’s a steep learning curve. From latch issues to low milk supply and pain, it can be physically and emotionally overwhelming. Add in the guilt that comes when it doesn’t go smoothly, and the pressure is intense. Moms need support, not shame, whether they breastfeed, formula-feed, or do a little of both. Feeding a baby is hard work, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

3. “You’ll Bounce Back in No Time”

The obsession with moms “bouncing back” after birth ignores the physical and emotional toll childbirth takes. Recovery isn’t linear—there’s healing, hormonal changes, and adjusting to a brand-new role. Many moms don’t feel like themselves for months, or even years, and that’s completely normal. Putting pressure on new moms to reclaim their pre-baby body or routine immediately only adds to their stress. The truth? You don’t need to bounce back—you just need to be supported as you move forward.

4. “Enjoy Every Moment”

While well-meaning, this advice can feel like a guilt trip in disguise. Yes, babies grow quickly, but that doesn’t mean every moment is magical. Some are exhausting, messy, and emotionally draining, and it’s okay to not enjoy them. Telling moms to cherish every second can make them feel guilty for having a tough day—or a tough month. Love your baby, but also allow space for honesty about how hard it is.

5. “If You’re Doing It Right, It Will Feel Natural”

This phrase implies that struggle means failure, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Parenting is learned, not instinctive, and every baby is different. Even seasoned moms can feel lost with a new child. Navigating feedings, sleep, cries, and your own emotions is anything but easy. The learning curve is steep, and no one has it all figured out—certainly not right away.

6. “You Don’t Need Help, Just Trust Your Instincts”

Maternal instincts are real for some, but even for those that swear they have them, those instincts aren’t magical powers that solve everything. Suggesting that moms shouldn’t ask for help sets them up to struggle in silence. New parents need community, guidance, and breaks—not pressure to be a superhero. It’s okay not to know what to do and to rely on others. Parenting is tough work, and asking for help should be seen as strength, not weakness.

7. “You’ll Know Exactly What Your Baby Needs”

Sometimes a baby cries and you have no clue why—and that’s normal. It takes time to learn your baby’s cues, and sometimes there are no clear answers. New moms can feel overwhelmed when they don’t immediately “get it right,” especially if they were told they’d just know. There’s no shame in trial and error, calling the pediatrician, or turning to a baby book or online forum. Parenting is part intuition, part detective work, and part surviving until bedtime.

8. “Don’t Worry, It Gets Easier”

This phrase is often said to comfort, but it can also feel dismissive. Some things do get easier—babies start sleeping longer, routines develop—but new challenges replace the old ones. Comparing hard moments to some future easier time can invalidate a mom’s current struggle. It’s better to say, “You’re doing a great job right now,” and offer support in the moment. Moms don’t need timelines—they need empathy.

9. “Motherhood Is the Most Fulfilling Thing You’ll Ever Do”

Motherhood can be fulfilling, but it’s also exhausting, frustrating, isolating, and emotionally complex. Expecting moms to feel fulfilled all the time erases the moments when it feels like too much. Some days are magical; others are survival mode. It’s okay to love your baby deeply and still crave a break, adult conversation, or parts of your old self. That doesn’t make anyone less of a mom—it makes them human.

Let’s Start Telling Moms the Truth Instead

New moms don’t need unrealistic platitudes—they need honesty, support, and grace. Saying “sleep when the baby sleeps” oversimplifies a life-altering transition that’s anything but simple. The truth is that parenthood is messy, emotional, and different for everyone, and that’s perfectly okay. Instead of pushing myths, let’s normalize real talk and celebrate survival just as much as success. Because being honest about the hard stuff doesn’t make anyone a bad mom—it makes them a stronger one.

What’s a piece of advice you received as a new parent that turned out to be completely off base? Share your thoughts in the comments—we’d love to hear your story!

Read More:

10 Empowering Things to Teach Your Baby Girl from the Start

7 Tools to Use When Your Baby Won’t Sleep Through the Night

Catherine Reed
Catherine Reed

Catherine is a tech-savvy writer who has focused on the personal finance space for more than eight years. She has a Bachelor’s in Information Technology and enjoys showcasing how tech can simplify everyday personal finance tasks like budgeting, spending tracking, and planning for the future. Additionally, she’s explored the ins and outs of the world of side hustles and loves to share what she’s learned along the way. When she’s not working, you can find her relaxing at home in the Pacific Northwest with her two cats or enjoying a cup of coffee at her neighborhood cafe.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: honest parenting, motherhood expectations, new moms, newborn survival tips, parenting myths, postpartum truth, sleep when the baby sleeps

What If Everything You Knew About Parenting Was Wrong?

June 9, 2025 | Leave a Comment

What If Everything You Knew About Parenting Was Wrong

Parents pour their hearts into doing what’s best for their children—reading the books, following expert advice, and drawing from their own upbringing. But what if everything you knew about parenting was wrong? What if the time-outs, praise-heavy routines, or rigid schedules are actually working against your goals? Modern research is flipping some of the most trusted parenting strategies on their heads. If you’re open to rethinking old habits and discovering new ways to support your child’s growth, it might be time to challenge what you thought you knew.

1. Praise Isn’t Always Powerful

We’ve all been told to praise kids for every effort: “Good job!” “You’re so smart!” But studies now suggest that too much praise—especially praise focused on traits instead of effort—can backfire. Children who are constantly praised may develop a fear of failure or tie their self-worth to external approval. Rather than encouraging resilience, excessive praise might make kids less likely to take risks. Try shifting to encouragement that highlights process and persistence, like “You worked really hard on that.”

2. Time-Outs May Not Teach What You Think

Time-outs have long been the go-to for discipline, but new research suggests they may not be as effective as we once believed. While they can stop immediate misbehavior, time-outs often miss the mark when it comes to teaching self-regulation. Some children feel rejected or confused by time-outs, especially if there’s no follow-up discussion. More collaborative approaches, like time-ins or calming corners, help children understand emotions and develop self-control. Reconsidering discipline strategies can create more connection, not less.

3. Helicopter Parenting Can Hurt Independence

Being involved in your child’s life is essential—but hovering over every move can limit development. Kids need space to solve problems, make choices, and even fail in order to build confidence and resilience. Helicopter parenting, while well-intentioned, can send the message that children aren’t capable of handling challenges. That lack of autonomy may show up later as anxiety or low self-esteem. Sometimes, the best thing a parent can do is take a step back.

4. Sleep Training Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

If you’ve felt pressure to get your baby sleeping through the night using a certain method, you’re not alone. But what if everything you knew about parenting was wrong—especially when it comes to sleep? Not every baby responds to the same technique, and not every family is built for rigid sleep schedules. For some children, sleep training works wonders. For others, it causes stress and attachment issues. It’s okay to trust your instincts and respond to your child’s individual needs.

5. Kids Don’t Always Need to Be Entertained

It’s tempting to keep kids busy with structured activities, screen time, or toys galore. But research shows that boredom actually sparks creativity and problem-solving. Constant entertainment robs children of opportunities to learn how to manage downtime. Unstructured play teaches independence and resourcefulness—skills that are vital for long-term success. Instead of worrying about filling every moment, consider letting your child explore boredom and see what they come up with.

6. Emotional Outbursts Aren’t Just Misbehavior

Tantrums are often seen as bad behavior, but they’re actually a sign of overwhelmed emotions. When we view meltdowns as chances to teach emotional intelligence instead of punish, we give kids valuable tools for life. Validating their feelings without giving in to demands helps build emotional regulation. Staying calm and empathetic during these moments makes a bigger impact than yelling or threats. It’s about connection, not control.

7. Early Academics Might Not Be the Priority

Many parents worry about getting a head start with reading, math, and academic skills. But child development experts say social-emotional growth and play-based learning are more critical in early childhood. Pushing formal academics too early can create stress and reduce natural curiosity. Kids benefit from developing emotional readiness and executive functioning before sitting down with worksheets. Trust that learning through play builds a strong foundation for academic success later on.

8. “No” Doesn’t Need to Be the Default Answer

It’s easy to default to “no” when kids make messy, inconvenient, or strange requests. But saying yes more often—within reason—can build trust and promote independence. When children feel heard and empowered, they’re more likely to cooperate and less likely to act out. That doesn’t mean abandoning boundaries. It means being open to saying “yes” when it counts and letting kids make small choices that matter to them.

9. Your Parenting Style Isn’t Set in Stone

Parents often feel stuck between labels: authoritative, permissive, gentle, or traditional. But what if everything you knew about parenting was wrong—and your style could evolve over time? The best parenting approaches adapt to each child’s temperament, each family’s dynamic, and even changing seasons of life. There’s no perfect formula, just intentional growth. Give yourself permission to learn and adjust as needed.

10. Connection Is More Important Than Perfection

At the heart of every parenting decision is one simple truth: kids thrive on connection, not perfection. Chasing flawless parenting often leads to burnout, guilt, and stress. But showing up, apologizing when needed, and being emotionally present matters far more than getting everything right. Kids don’t need perfect parents—they need present ones. Leading with love, patience, and humility will always go farther than any “expert” tip.

Rethinking Everything Might Be the Best Thing You Do

Parenting is full of advice, much of it well-meaning but not always helpful. Taking a moment to pause and ask, “What if everything you knew about parenting was wrong?” can open the door to healthier, more authentic relationships with your kids. You’re allowed to grow. You’re allowed to change. And sometimes, questioning everything is the first step toward getting it right.

Have you ever had a parenting belief turned upside down? What surprised you the most? Share your story in the comments below!

Read More:

The Top 15 Parenting Myths Debunked by Child Psychologists

7 Ways Childhood Can Be Ruined by Overprotective Parents

Catherine Reed
Catherine Reed

Catherine is a tech-savvy writer who has focused on the personal finance space for more than eight years. She has a Bachelor’s in Information Technology and enjoys showcasing how tech can simplify everyday personal finance tasks like budgeting, spending tracking, and planning for the future. Additionally, she’s explored the ins and outs of the world of side hustles and loves to share what she’s learned along the way. When she’s not working, you can find her relaxing at home in the Pacific Northwest with her two cats or enjoying a cup of coffee at her neighborhood cafe.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: child behavior, emotional development, family connection, gentle parenting, modern parenting, parenting advice, parenting myths, raising kids

7 Unreasonable Demands Modern Parents Put on Themselves

May 28, 2025 | Leave a Comment

7 Unreasonable Demands Modern Parents Put on Themselves

Parenting has always come with challenges, but in today’s world of constant comparison, curated social media feeds, and unrelenting pressure to “do it all,” many parents are setting themselves up to fail. The truth is, much of the stress we feel isn’t caused by the kids—it’s caused by the unreasonable demands modern parents put on themselves. Whether it’s trying to be the perfect parent, maintain a spotless home, or prepare organic, Pinterest-worthy meals daily, these expectations are exhausting. And most of the time, they’re not even necessary. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, it may be time to rethink what you really need to be a great parent.

1. Being Present 100% of the Time

One of the biggest unreasonable demands modern parents put on themselves is the idea that they must be fully present every moment their child is awake. Whether it’s playing on the floor, narrating every chore, or responding to every question with boundless enthusiasm, the expectation is unsustainable. Parents need breaks, and it’s perfectly healthy for children to entertain themselves sometimes. Kids don’t benefit from having a parent who is mentally or physically burned out. Quality time matters more than constant availability.

2. Cooking Perfect Meals Every Night

With food bloggers and kid-friendly recipe influencers flooding your feed, it’s easy to feel guilty when dinner comes from a box or drive-thru. But trying to prepare healthy, home-cooked meals every single night is one of the unreasonable demands modern parents put on themselves. Life is busy, and dinner doesn’t have to look like a magazine spread to nourish your child. Quick, simple, and even semi-homemade meals are more than fine. What matters most is feeding your family with love—not perfection.

3. Keeping a Spotless House With Kids Around

Somehow, modern parents have adopted the belief that having children doesn’t excuse a mess. But expecting your home to look “Instagram ready” 24/7 while also raising small humans is unrealistic and stressful. This is one of those unreasonable demands modern parents put on themselves that steals both time and peace. A clean-enough house where kids are safe and cared for should be the goal. If the laundry waits an extra day or toys are scattered around, that’s okay.

4. Excelling at Both Career and Parenting Without Help

Today’s parents are often expected to be high-achievers at work and fully engaged caregivers at home, as if neither role deserves to be compromised. Trying to do both perfectly is one of the most common unreasonable demands modern parents put on themselves. Something has to give, and that doesn’t mean failure—it means prioritizing. Asking for help, whether it’s from a partner, a friend, or a sitter, is a strength, not a weakness. You weren’t meant to do this alone.

5. Attending Every Event, Practice, and Performance

There’s nothing wrong with supporting your child’s activities, but trying to show up to every single event without exception is exhausting. Many parents feel like if they miss one soccer game or school concert, they’re letting their child down. But this is another one of those unreasonable demands modern parents put on themselves that adds guilt without much reward. What children need is love, encouragement, and presence when it counts—not a perfect attendance record. Missing a few events doesn’t make you a bad parent.

6. Constantly Enriching Your Child’s Development

Between music lessons, STEM kits, flashcards, and developmental milestones, parents feel pressured to optimize every moment of childhood. But overloading yourself with enrichment activities is one of the most unnecessary and unreasonable demands modern parents put on themselves. Kids thrive through simple play, connection, and time to explore on their own. You don’t have to be your child’s full-time teacher, coach, and therapist. Sometimes, the best growth happens when you step back.

7. Always Staying Calm and Patient

While patience is a valuable parenting tool, expecting to be calm and collected all the time is simply unrealistic. One of the most emotionally draining unreasonable demands modern parents put on themselves is the idea that any frustration or anger is a failure. Everyone loses their temper sometimes—especially when they’re sleep-deprived, stressed, or overwhelmed. What matters is how you handle those moments and whether you model accountability and self-regulation. Kids learn as much from apologies as they do from calm reactions.

Letting Go Can Be the Greatest Gift You Give Yourself

You don’t have to do everything, be everything, or fix everything to be a good parent. In fact, letting go of some of the unreasonable demands modern parents put on themselves is the key to feeling more confident and more connected to your child. Parenting is already hard—don’t make it harder by chasing perfection. Give yourself permission to breathe, be human, and do the best you can with the resources you have. Your child doesn’t need a flawless parent. They just need you.

Which unrealistic parenting expectations have you let go of—or wish you could? Share your experience in the comments and connect with others in the same boat.

Read More:

7 Unorthodox Parenting Methods That Actually Work

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Catherine Reed
Catherine Reed

Catherine is a tech-savvy writer who has focused on the personal finance space for more than eight years. She has a Bachelor’s in Information Technology and enjoys showcasing how tech can simplify everyday personal finance tasks like budgeting, spending tracking, and planning for the future. Additionally, she’s explored the ins and outs of the world of side hustles and loves to share what she’s learned along the way. When she’s not working, you can find her relaxing at home in the Pacific Northwest with her two cats or enjoying a cup of coffee at her neighborhood cafe.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: expectations of parents, family balance, modern parent struggles, parental burnout, parenting guilt, parenting myths, parenting pressure, self-care for parents

5 Lies Parents Tell Themselves About Being a “Good Parent”

May 6, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Image by Dvir Adler

Every parent wants to be a good one. That desire is powerful and, sometimes, painfully heavy. From the moment you hold your child for the first time, the mental checklist begins: keep them safe, help them grow, meet their needs, and never mess up. It’s no wonder that many parents end up setting impossible standards for themselves, especially in an age where every scroll through social media feels like a side-by-side comparison.

But here’s the truth: a lot of what we think defines a “good parent” is rooted in subtle, harmful lies we tell ourselves. These lies aren’t intentional. They’re usually picked up from culture, childhood memories, or the fear of judgment. Still, they have a way of making parents feel like they’re constantly falling short—even when they’re doing just fine.

It’s time to expose those lies, not to add more guilt, but to free parents from it.

1. “If I lose my patience, I’ve failed.”

Patience is one of the most celebrated virtues in parenting—and yes, it matters. However, the idea that a good parent never raises their voice, never feels frustrated, or never reaches their emotional limit is unrealistic. You’re a human being, not a robot. You can love your child fiercely and still feel overwhelmed when they’ve asked you the same question ten times or melted down in the grocery store.

Losing your patience doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you a human in a high-stress moment. What matters is how you recover. Do you come back, apologize, reconnect? That’s where real parenting power lives. Kids don’t need perfection; they need models for how to repair, reflect, and move forward.

2. “I have to put my child first, always.”

It’s a noble thought and, in the short term, often necessary. But when the idea of putting your child first becomes constant self-erasure, it leads to burnout, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. Parenting doesn’t have to mean disappearing.

You are still a whole person, even after you become a parent. Taking care of yourself—mentally, physically, emotionally—is not selfish. It’s essential. Your child benefits most from a caregiver who is nourished and emotionally available, not someone who’s always running on empty because they think being a good parent means never meeting their own needs.

3. “If my child is struggling, I must be doing something wrong.”

This lie cuts deep. When a child is anxious, acting out, having trouble in school, or going through emotional ups and downs, many parents automatically turn inward and blame themselves. It’s easy to feel like your parenting is somehow defective if your child isn’t thriving every second.

But kids aren’t robots with fixed programming. They’re complex, sensitive individuals who are navigating their own path in a world that can be confusing, overwhelming, and tough. Their struggles don’t automatically mean you’ve failed. In fact, sometimes the best parenting happens in how you show up for them through the hard parts, not in whether you prevented the hard parts in the first place.

4. “A good parent doesn’t need help.”

This one often hides behind pride. Maybe it’s the idea that you should be able to do it all on your own. Maybe it’s fear of judgment if you ask for support. But believing you have to figure everything out by yourself is one of the fastest routes to feeling isolated and inadequate.

Good parenting doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Whether it’s therapy, childcare help, parenting classes, a partner, or simply texting a friend to say, “Today was really hard,” asking for help is a sign of wisdom—not weakness. You were never meant to raise a child alone, and leaning on support doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re showing up in the most real way possible.

5. “I have to enjoy every moment.”

This is one of the most damaging lies because it comes wrapped in guilt and nostalgia. You hear it all the time—“Soak it all in,” “You’ll miss this,” “They grow up too fast.” And while it’s true that the early years are fleeting, that doesn’t mean every moment is magical. Some moments are messy, loud, exhausting, boring, and frustrating.

You’re allowed to love your kids deeply and still not enjoy every second of parenting. You’re allowed to look forward to bedtime. You’re allowed to feel both awe and exhaustion in the same breath. The beauty of parenthood isn’t in pretending every second is a dream. It’s in the resilience, the humor, the messy in-betweens, and the love that keeps showing up anyway.

You Will Mess Up, And You’re Not Alone

Parenting is a journey filled with nuance, contradiction, and emotion. There is no perfect formula, no idealized image to chase. The truth is, being a “good parent” isn’t about never messing up. It’s about showing up, owning your humanity, and choosing connection, even when it’s hard.

Letting go of these five lies doesn’t make you a lesser parent. It makes you a more honest one. And in the long run, honesty is far more powerful than perfection.

Which of these parenting myths do you struggle with most, or which one did you finally let go of?

Read More:

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Ditch the Guilt: A Realistic Approach to Parenting

Riley Schnepf
Riley Schnepf

Riley is an Arizona native with over nine years of writing experience. From personal finance to travel to digital marketing to pop culture, she’s written about everything under the sun. When she’s not writing, she’s spending her time outside, reading, or cuddling with her two corgis.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: dad guilt, gentle parenting, good parent expectations, mindful parenting, mom guilt, parental burnout, parenting myths, parenting pressure, parenting truth

Parenting Myths Busted: The Outdated Advice You Can Finally Ignore

March 31, 2025 | Leave a Comment

newborn baby wrapped in a blanket sleeping in a basket. concept of childhood, healthcare, IVF. Black and white photo
Image Source: 123rf.com

Parenting comes with a barrage of advice—some of it helpful and some of it downright outdated. Despite the good intentions behind these tips, many of them no longer apply in today’s world. Holding onto outdated advice can create unnecessary stress, confusion, and unrealistic expectations for parents. Let’s take a look at six common parenting myths that you can finally stop worrying about.

1. “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child”

This old saying implies that physical discipline is the only way to raise respectful kids, but modern research proves otherwise. Studies show that physical punishment can lead to negative outcomes, including increased aggression and emotional instability. Positive reinforcement, communication, and setting clear boundaries are far more effective ways to teach children right from wrong. It’s time to leave this myth behind and embrace compassionate discipline techniques.

2. “Let Babies Cry It Out to Build Resilience”

For years, parents were told to let their babies cry without intervention to toughen them up. However, experts now understand that responding to a baby’s cries helps build trust and emotional security. Babies rely on their caregivers to soothe them, and consistently offering comfort fosters healthy emotional development. Your baby’s tears are a call for connection, not an opportunity to test their resilience.

3. “Kids Should Be Seen and Not Heard”

This outdated belief discourages children from expressing themselves, but modern parenting emphasizes the importance of communication. Encouraging kids to voice their thoughts and emotions helps them develop confidence, problem-solving skills, and emotional intelligence. Instead of silencing your child, give them opportunities to share their ideas and feelings—you’ll be amazed at what you learn from them.

4. “Don’t Hold Your Baby Too Much, or They’ll Be Spoiled”

Beautiful little girl swinging in the studio on a swing. Concept of a happy childhood, family well-being.
Image Source: 123rf.com

One of the most persistent parenting myths is that holding a baby too often will “spoil” them. In reality, physical closeness strengthens the bond between parent and child and promotes emotional well-being. Babies thrive on touch and comfort, and meeting their needs helps them feel secure. Spoiling isn’t about holding them—it’s about indulgence without boundaries as they grow older.

5. “You Shouldn’t Be Friends with Your Kids”

While it’s true that parents need to set boundaries, the idea that you can’t have a friendly relationship with your child is outdated. Building a connection based on mutual respect and trust doesn’t diminish authority—it strengthens it. When kids feel understood and supported, they’re more likely to listen and cooperate. Balancing friendship with firm guidance can lead to a healthier parent-child dynamic.

6. “Every Milestone Must Be Met on Time”

Parents often worry when their child doesn’t hit milestones like walking, talking, or potty training at the “expected” time. However, children develop at their own pace, and there’s a wide range of normal. Comparing your child to others or stressing about timelines does more harm than good. Focus on your child’s unique journey and consult a pediatrician if you have genuine concerns—but don’t let arbitrary timelines dictate your parenting.

A New Era of Parenting

Parenting is constantly evolving, and letting go of outdated advice can free you to focus on what truly matters—nurturing your child with love, understanding, and care. By embracing modern approaches backed by research and compassion, you can create an environment that supports your child’s growth and your own confidence as a parent.

Have you ever struggled with outdated parenting advice? What myths do you think we need to stop believing? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Read More:

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Tamila McDonald
Tamila McDonald

Tamila McDonald is a U.S. Army veteran with 20 years of service, including five years as a military financial advisor. After retiring from the Army, she spent eight years as an AFCPE-certified personal financial advisor for wounded warriors and their families. Now she writes about personal finance and benefits programs for numerous financial websites.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: child development, compassionate parenting, modern parenting, outdated advice, parenting myths

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Basic Principles Of Good Parenting

Here some basic principles for good parenting:

  1. What You Do Matters: Your kids are watching you. So, be purposeful about what you want to accomplish.
  2. You Can’t be Too Loving: Don’t replace love with material possessions, lowered expectations or leniency.
  3. Be Involved Your Kids Life: Arrange your priorities to focus on what your kid’s needs. Be there mentally and physically.
  4. Adapt Your Parenting: Children grow quickly, so keep pace with your child’s development.
  5. Establish and Set Rules: The rules you set for children will establish the rules they set for themselves later.  Avoid harsh discipline and be consistent.
  6. Explain Your Decisions: What is obvious to you may not be evident to your child. They don’t have the experience you do.
  7. Be Respectful To Your Child: How you treat your child is how they will treat others.  Be polite, respectful and make an effort to pay attention.
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