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How to Teach Kids to Stay Safe Without Scaring Them

August 21, 2012 | Leave a Comment

Stranger Safety DVD for teaching kids 4 & up to stay safeFor the past year or so I have been trying to figure out how to teach my boys about stranger safety. In preschool last year they learned all about fire safety and how to call 911. Their teacher explained that if something happened to me – like I fell and hit my head in the shower – they would need to call 911 to get help. I was really glad they talked about it because I hadn’t really thought about teaching them any of that. For the next few weeks following their safety lesson, the boys would ask if I was going to fall and hit my head every time I got into the shower. So, even though I knew they need to learn how to stay safe, I didn’t want to scare them. However, I also realized that if something happened to them because I didn’t properly educate them on how to be safe — well, I would never be able to forgive myself.

Stranger Safety

I now realize that it is imperative that they learn about stranger safety – whether it scares them or not – so I decided to bite the bullet and just do it. But how? How do I explain the difference between strangers, people they know and the handful of adults who Chris and I would entrust them with? This is a tough concept for little ones, so I went in search of something that might help me to at least start the conversation.

The first item I had was a Winnie the Pooh book called Safe at Home with Pooh. I actually didn’t buy this book with the intention of teaching the boys stranger safety. I just bought a stack of with books from the consignment store and it wasn’t until they asked me to read it that I realized what the book was about. It teaches kids not to talk to strangers and never to open the door to strangers (something I have mentioned that I don’t even do). The book was easy for them to understand and it helped get the conversation started about strangers and being safe.

As I was researching materials that might help me teach the boys about stranger safety I happened upon the website: The Safe Side. I was delighted to see two familiar faces smiling back at me. The first was John Walsh, the host of America’s Most Wanted and one of the founders and key supporters of  the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. The other face I recognized was Julie Clark — the creator of Baby Einstein. These are two people who I believe to have the best interest of children in mind and the experience to create a program that would give children the tools they need to stay safe and to do it in an entertaining way.

Checking it Out

Of course, I decided to watch the program before the boys did just to make sure I thought it was age appropriate for them. I was relieved to see that it was highly entertaining and really great at teaching kids about “Don’t Knows” folks who are strangers and “Kind-of Knows” pretty much everyone else your child might interact with such as coaches, teachers, neighbors, family friends, doctors, librarians, etc.
>N was actually very reluctant to watch the video, which made me hesitate a bit but I knew we really just needed to watch it and start discussing how to stay safe. I told him that if he thought it was too scary I would turn it off. Since I watched it before they did, I knew that they would think that “Safe Side Superchick” was really funny. She provides really important information and does so in a fun and completely goofy way. The boys both loved it and they actually asked to watch it again today. We had fun not only discussing what they should do when certain situations happen but acting it out as well.

Another thing the video recommends is that you pick three adults who you completely trust with the well being of your child and put them on a list. This way if something happens and you cannot get to your child, they will know it is okay to go with one of these people but no one else! Then there is a clear distinction of who it is okay to go with unless you (their Safe Side Adult) tell them it’s okay or they ask permission first.

Internet Safety

Internet Safety DVD for teaching kids 6 & up to stay safeThey even have a Safe Side video all about internet safety. This isn’t really an issue for us right now because the boys don’t use the computer but I will probably have them watch this once they are a little older. The only thing is it might be outdated because it’s from 2006 but I’m sure the basic tips are still relevant.

So my plan is to keep talking about how to stay safe, letting them know that they can come to their Dad or I if something doesn’t seem right or makes them uncomfortable and that it is okay to yell fight, hit, kick and whatever else they need to do if someone ever grabbed them. By teaching them about safety I hope that this will help the boys to be prepared if God forbid something did happen!

So what have you done to teach your kids about stranger safety? What books, programs or websites have you used? I’d love to hear what others have done or recommend!

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Parenting, Product Reviews for Parents Tagged With: Internet Safety, Safety, Strangers

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Basic Principles Of Good Parenting

Here some basic principles for good parenting:

  1. What You Do Matters: Your kids are watching you. So, be purposeful about what you want to accomplish.
  2. You Can’t be Too Loving: Don’t replace love with material possessions, lowered expectations or leniency.
  3. Be Involved Your Kids Life: Arrange your priorities to focus on what your kid’s needs. Be there mentally and physically.
  4. Adapt Your Parenting: Children grow quickly, so keep pace with your child’s development.
  5. Establish and Set Rules: The rules you set for children will establish the rules they set for themselves later.  Avoid harsh discipline and be consistent.
  6. Explain Your Decisions: What is obvious to you may not be evident to your child. They don’t have the experience you do.
  7. Be Respectful To Your Child: How you treat your child is how they will treat others.  Be polite, respectful and make an effort to pay attention.
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11 Ways Kids Are Outsmarting Parental Controls 1. Using Alternate Devices One common trick is simply turning to another device. If a child’s main phone or tablet is restricted, they may borrow a sibling’s, friend’s, or even a school laptop. This instantly gives them access to content outside of parental oversight. Parents often focus on one device, forgetting that others in the household can serve as loopholes. Knowing this tactic helps families tighten controls across all electronics. 2. Clearing Browsing Histories Many kids quickly learn that clearing browsing history hides evidence of restricted activity. With just a few clicks, they can erase any trace of websites visited. This makes it harder for parents to notice when rules are being broken. Parents may assume no history means no browsing, but the reality is often the opposite. Kids are outsmarting parental controls by making it seem like nothing happened at all. 3. Using Private Browsing Modes Most browsers offer “incognito” or private browsing features. Kids use this mode to access websites without leaving a record in the history. To parents checking later, everything looks clean and safe. This simple trick is often one of the first ways kids discover how to bypass restrictions. Conversations about private browsing can help close this gap. 4. Guessing or Resetting Passwords Children who are persistent may try to guess passwords to parental control apps or accounts. Others may find ways to reset them through email prompts or security questions. Once inside, they can disable restrictions entirely. Parents may not even realize controls have been altered until much later. Stronger, less predictable passwords can make this more difficult. 5. Using VPNs to Hide Activity Virtual private networks, or VPNs, let kids disguise their online locations. With one downloaded app, they can bypass geographic or parental restrictions. Some children learn about VPNs through friends or even social media. This makes it easy for them to reach content that should be blocked. Parents often underestimate just how simple it is for kids to use these tools. 6. Creating Fake Accounts When parents monitor social media, kids may create hidden accounts. These “finstas” or fake profiles allow them to interact freely without parental oversight. While their main account appears harmless, the secondary one tells a different story. Kids are outsmarting parental controls by playing both sides at once. Checking for duplicate accounts can help parents stay more aware. 7. Exploiting Time Zone Settings Some kids change the time zone on their devices to bypass screen time limits. This trick allows them to gain extra hours of usage undetected. Parents may assume controls are working, but in reality, the child is bending the clock. It’s a clever loophole that highlights just how resourceful kids can be. Monitoring device settings regularly can catch this tactic. 8. Disabling or Uninstalling Apps Parental control apps can be deleted or disabled with surprising ease. Some kids even reinstall them before a parent checks, making it seem like nothing changed. Others may simply restrict permissions to prevent apps from functioning properly. When apps aren’t monitored closely, parents may not notice they’ve been tampered with. This shows the importance of consistent follow-up. 9. Turning to Friends for Access If a child can’t get past restrictions on their own, they may rely on friends. Visiting a friend’s house or borrowing their phone can give them a free pass. Parents often forget that peer environments can override restrictions set at home. This kind of social workaround is especially common with gaming or social media. Open conversations about trust and responsibility are essential. 10. Hiding Apps in Plain Sight Kids sometimes download apps that look innocent but serve as gateways to hidden activity. These apps may disguise themselves as calculators or utilities. In reality, they allow file storage, private messaging, or browser access. Parents glancing at a home screen may overlook them entirely. Learning to recognize these disguised apps can help parents stay informed. 11. Outpacing Parents’ Tech Knowledge Finally, kids often know more about devices than their parents do. Whether through YouTube tutorials, TikTok hacks, or peer groups, they quickly learn advanced workarounds. This knowledge gap means controls can be bypassed before parents even realize the loophole exists. Staying informed and continually learning about new technology is the best defense. Kids are outsmarting parental controls because they adapt faster than most adults. The Real Solution Lies Beyond Restrictions While controls and filters are important, no system is perfect. Kids will always find creative ways around barriers, making communication the strongest safeguard. Setting clear expectations, building trust, and having ongoing conversations about online behavior matter more than apps alone. Parents who combine technology with open dialogue create a safer digital environment. The goal isn’t to win a battle of wits but to build a relationship that keeps kids both safe and honest. Do you think kids are outsmarting parental controls faster than parents can keep up? Share your experiences in the comments below. What to Read Next... 6 Parenting Tech Shortcuts That Can Expose Your Child to Strangers How Much Screen Time Is Too Much—Legally Speaking? Is Your Child’s School Quietly Tracking Their Location Without Your Consent? How Much Screen Time Is Quietly Reshaping Childhood Behavior? Why Some Parents Are Being Investigated Over Homeschooling Records

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