If you’ve never tried it before, you may be wondering, what is positive discipline? It’s a parenting approach that emphasizes encouragement instead of punishment. Praising your child for good behavior can often be more powerful than yelling at them over mistakes. Kids crave connection with their caregivers and might act out to get your attention. Focusing on positive reinforcement instead of lectures teaches your kids that the best way to get recognition from you is to be nice and cooperative.
However, that doesn’t mean you have to be permissive to practice positive discipline. You can still be clear and firm about rules and boundaries while being kind. Instead of resorting to shouting, this methodology advises parents to calmly remind kids of the rules, redirect negative behaviors, and use age-appropriate consequences like time-outs.
Now you know the answer to the question “What is positive discipline?” Let’s jump into some ways to put it into action and discuss why it’s so cost-effective.
Easy Ways to Practice Positive Discipline
Positive discipline is all about helping kids build healthy self-esteem and positive social skills through encouragement. Here are some agency-building parenting strategies that will support your child’s development.
Involve Your Kids in Rule-Setting
Did you ever have a teacher who involved you in creating the class rules for the year? You can do a similar exercise with your children to give them a sense of agency. Ask them to help you write a list of household rules, and encourage them to think about what will happen if the rules aren’t followed. For example, if they don’t do their chores, the house will be dirty. This thought experiment helps them understand why certain rules are beneficial and necessary.
Then ask them what kinds of consequences would be appropriate if the rules are broken. Display the finished list of rules prominently so your kids have a visual reminder of household guidelines. Your kids will likely have an easier time buying into and following the rules that they helped create.
Encourage Problem-Solving
When your child makes a mistake, try to involve them in finding a solution instead of getting frustrated with them. For example, if they have a tantrum, help them brainstorm better ways to express their emotions next time. This approach will teach your child problem-solving skills and give them the tools to handle the situation differently in the future.
Have Realistic Expectations
It’s also important to have realistic expectations for your child and explain them in a way they can understand. For example, it would be unreasonable to expect a four-year-old to sit quietly for an hour. Setting age-appropriate boundaries and communicating them clearly will help you discipline your kids more effectively. Reminding them of rules as needed can also help them remember and internalize appropriate behavioral standards.
Be a Good Role Model
Kids have a keen sense of injustice and may feel resentment if they’re held to higher behavioral standards than adults. For example, it might feel unfair to a child that they have to apologize for yelling if you don’t. You can avoid this dynamic by being a good role model for your kids and displaying the character traits you want them to embody. After all, kids learn a lot by observing their parents.
Prioritize Praise
Perhaps the most important aspect of positive parenting is praising and encouraging your child. Recognizing their hard work and good behavior will reinforce the character traits and habits you want them to develop. Showing your child love with words of affirmation will help them build healthy self-esteem and foster a great parent-child relationship.
Why Positive Discipline Is So Cost-Effective
Many parenting strategies such as harsh punishments and bribes work in the short-term but cost families in the long run. Yelling can create self-esteem issues and even mental health problems over time, which can be expensive to treat. Using material rewards to motivate your child can also break your budget. The price of toys and other treats adds up, especially if you have multiple kids.
Permissive parenting is another wallet-draining strategy. Giving your kids whatever they want can create a sense of entitlement and lead to escalating monetary demands. When they’re young, they may only want small things like candy. But as they get older, they may request increasingly expensive items like computers and name-brand clothes.
In contrast, positive discipline techniques cost nothing and are known to be effective. Following this methodology will help you raise well-adjusted kids who are less likely to need therapy, tutoring, and behavioral interventions. Plus, positive discipline helps foster a sense of agency and intrinsic motivation in your child, so they won’t need external incentives like gifts in order to strive for success.
What are your favorite cost-effective parenting strategies? Let us know in the comments!
Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.
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