Vicky Monroe, Author at Kids Ain't Cheap

Are Stay-at-Home Moms Contributing Less to Society?

May 2, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Many stay-at-home moms report feeling guilty because they don’t work outside the home or contribute much financially. According to Medical News Today, some homemakers even develop symptoms of depression, such as low self-esteem, sadness, and insomnia. Society often doesn’t recognize the immense contributions of stay-at-home mothers or the mental toll that caregiving can take. Below we’ll explore the value of homemaking to help highlight the important role of mothers.

Valuing the Contributions of Stay-at-Home Moms

Financial Value of Caregiving

Stay-at-home mothers perform many duties for their families, including cooking, cleaning, raising the children, and driving everyone around. Plus, many moms homeschool their kids or tutor them to improve their school performance. They also serve a crucial role as a household manager, arranging appointments and keeping everything running.

Studies have shown that if you tried to assign a dollar value to this labor, it would be worth $140,315 per year. That’s far more than the median household income of $80,610, underscoring the incredible work stay-at-home moms contribute to their families completely unpaid.

To replace the labor of their wives, husbands would need a cook or meal delivery service, a full-time nanny, a personal assistant, a housekeeper, and more. Most families don’t have the financial resources to hire out all of this labor, which demonstrates the immense value of the services stay-at-home mothers provide.

Society Values Stay-at-Home Moms

Although many stay-at-home moms feel like they aren’t valued by society, polls indicate that people appreciate the work they do. According to NPR, 31% of survey respondents said that society values the labor women perform at home more than their contributions at work. Only 20% said that women’s contributions at work are more important than homemaking.

The holidays dedicated to celebrating mothers also highlight society’s appreciation of women’s contributions. Mother’s Day, International Women’s Day, and Women’s History Month all aim to shed light on the social achievements of women, including their crucial roles as mothers and caretakers.

Benefits for Children

Stay-at-home moms are able to provide a nurturing, stable, and emotionally supportive environment for their kids. In the first years of life, children benefit from having a consistent primary caregiver to meet their needs. The positive early experiences stay-at-home moms provide may help boost their children’s brain development and reduce their stress levels so they can focus on learning.

As their kids grow, stay-at-home moms are able to create family rituals that support their children’s mental and physical health, such as consistent mealtimes. Families with two working parents often eat fewer healthy meals together, opting for quick fixes like fast food.

According to the APA, children’s health and well-being can actually be compromised when families miss dinner and spend less time together. Sitting down at the table as a family can reduce symptoms of anxiety and respiratory conditions in children. This family time also improves children’s emotional connection with their parents and siblings and boosts their nutrition.

More Women Are Becoming Stay-at-Home Moms

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, you’re in good company. More and more women are making the decision to step away from their careers and support their family at home. The percentage of stay-at-home mothers nearly doubled from 2022 to 2023 due to changing priorities. Many women are reevaluating their work-life balance and realizing that staying at home is a better fit for their family.

Hopefully this demographic shift will help change the narrative about caregiving and make homemakers feel more appreciated. Organizations like the Chamber of Mothers are working to increase representation for moms and ensure they have a voice.

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, what could society or your family do to make you feel more valued? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Raising A Child On A Budget: How To Save Money And Be A Happy Family

Meal Planning For A Family On A Budget

Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.

Is It Ever Okay to Teach Your Kids To Fight?

April 28, 2025 | Leave a Comment

According to recent statistics, about 20% of students ages 12 to 18 have experienced bullying. Taunting, rudeness, and even fighting are all common issues your children may face on the playground or in the cafeteria at some point. How should you advise them to handle these situations to ensure they don’t get emotionally or physically scarred? If your child’s bully tries to instigate a fight, should your child defend themselves or try to run away? Below, we’ll explore whether or not it is ever ok to teach your kids to fight fire with fire.

Studies on Fighting Back Against Bullies Are Mixed

Although all forms of bullying are difficult to deal with, it’s especially hard to teach your child how to deal with a violent bully. The fear of a bully pushing, kicking, or shoving your child at school may make them afraid to attend. Talking to school administrators and working with them to find solutions may help improve the situation. However, many students (roughly 60%) believe that their school isn’t doing enough to stop bullying. If your child is continually targeted and doesn’t think administrators are intervening enough, is it ok to teach them to fight back?

The studies and results on the efficacy of fighting back are mixed. Some studies suggest that defending yourself from a bully by hitting back may prevent future fights. However, other research indicates that victims who fight fire with fire are more likely to be bullied again just six months later. That’s why experts suggest instructing your child to seek help from a friend or adult instead. You can also teach your kids to stand up for themselves verbally during bullying episodes. Addressing the root cause of the bullying, such as a misunderstanding or disagreement, can help prevent future altercations.

Walking Away Isn’t Giving Up

Walking away from a bully to seek help from an adult may feel like giving up. Your child may be worried they’ll be seen as weak if they try to run away. However, it’s important to discuss the benefits of refusing to match the bully’s energy with your child.

Your child is less likely to get in trouble with school administrators if they escape instead of physically engaging the bully. Victims who fight back may receive harsh punishment due to zero-tolerance policies in schools. Even self-defense might count as perpetuating violence and come with steep penalties. Teaching your child non-violent self-defense techniques, such as breakfalls, can help them avoid injury and get away from the bully.

It’s also important to reiterate to your child that walking away is a brave expression of boundaries. Refusing to engage and stooping to the bully’s level shows that your child is mature and above the attacks. Pretending to be unbothered by and indifferent to bullying can actually make your child seem cooler to their peers than getting dragged into fights. Remaining confident and calm can help your child earn respect and rob the bullies of any satisfaction. Once bullies realize your child isn’t an interesting, engaging target, they’ll likely move on.

Self-Defense Outside of School

Unfortunately, playground bullying isn’t the only threat parents have to worry about. The world can be a scary and dangerous place for kids. Sadly, attempted kidnappings and other crimes sometimes occur, and it’s important to teach your child about these realities in an age-appropriate way. Explaining the difference between schoolyard bullies and criminals can help your kids understand why different responses may be needed. Having these tough conversations will prepare your child to handle any risk to their personal safety in the best way possible.

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Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.

8 Irresponsible Purchases Parents Are Making For Their Children

April 25, 2025 | Leave a Comment

As parents, we all want to give our children the best lives possible. If you didn’t have a lot growing up, you probably don’t want your kids to experience the disappointment of going without. However, it’s important not to go overboard and make irresponsible purchases for your children. Kids don’t need luxuries like designer goods or in-app purchases to thrive. In fact, overindulging your kids can spoil them and make them less grateful. Here are 8 irresponsible purchases you should consider skipping.

1. Designer Goods

If your child doesn’t wear a uniform to school, he or she may feel pressure to keep up with other kids and wear designer clothes. Your kids probably think they need to rock Air Jordan sneakers or expensive Lululemon gear to become popular.

But buying your children pricey clothes is teaching them the wrong lesson—that they have to dress to impress to be accepted. It may be better to skip this irresponsible purchase and tell your kids that they have great personalities, regardless of what they’re wearing.

2. In-App Purchases

Many games that are popular with kids, including Roblox and Fortnite, allow kids to make in-app purchases to upgrade their character. These digital points can be surprisingly pricey. According to Statista, 40% of families spend between $10 and $100 per month on in-app purchases.

Although gaming can boost creative expression, it’s important to limit your child’s screen time and in-app purchases. Games can feel real to kids and become kind of addictive. If your child has trouble putting the controller down when asked or makes excessive in-app purchases, it’s probably time to cut back on screens.

3. iPhones

iPhones tend to be very expensive, especially if you purchase a brand new one from Apple. For example, the iPhone 16 Pro model starts at about $999. Kids are often more likely to lose or mistreat their belongings than adults.

If your child is getting their first phone, it may be better to start with a cheaper brand while they learn digital responsibility. Once they prove that they can handle their new device, you could discuss upgrading their phone as a Christmas or birthday gift. Or better yet, ask your child to contribute some of their savings to the purchase price of the phone.

4. Junk Food

Kids of all ages love sugary snacks and junk food. Your kids probably beg for treats like soda and cereal at the store. Although it’s tempting to give in, holding firm can help safeguard your children’s health.

We all know that kids would eat a big bowl of ice cream for dinner if allowed. But they usually don’t understand the negative consequences of eating too much junk food, such as lack of energy, poor academic performance, and weight gain. Even if your kids don’t like vegetables, it’s important to keep serving them a balanced diet to set them up for success.

5. Pets

Pets can teach children responsibility, but parents often end up doing all of the work. Kids who swear they’ll walk the dog before you adopt them often stop after a few weeks when the novelty starts to wear off. While there is no shortage of child-appropriate pets, from dogs and cats to fish, gerbils, and small reptiles, each come with their own unique needs.

When looking at adding a pet to your family, make sure you think about which type of pet will fit with your family’s lifestyle the best. While fish aren’t snuggly or playful in the same way a dog is, they also need much less active care and attention, making them a better fit for families who are out of the house most of the day.

6. Beauty Products

Children have become enamored with beauty products after seeing them on social media. Kids as young as six have skincare routines, even though all they need is a gentle soap or lotion at most.

Children have thinner, more sensitive skin than adults, so using these “anti-aging” or “brightening” products can cause facial irritation and breakouts. Allowing your kids to use makeup at a young age can also cause skin issues like rashes and redness.

7. Too Many Toys

If your kids ask for new toys constantly and you always say yes, you’ll amass a giant pile of action figures. Plus, when kids have too many toys, they may get overwhelmed and have a hard time playing with everything. Being mindful of the requests you say “yes” to can help you avoid this problem.

Try to opt for items that offer high replayability value and are different from ones your child already has. Kids get lots of toys for birthdays and holidays, so refrain from buying them anything new as those dates approach.

8. Huge, Expensive Birthday Parties

Do you remember watching My Super Sweet 16 growing up? The teens on the show had generous parents who threw them huge parties and gave them lavish gifts. However, many of the teens seemed dissatisfied and entitled.

Although you want to celebrate your child on their birthday, spoiling them with over-the-top parties and presents may not be the right approach. Going overboard and splurging on balloon arches and pony rides could give your kids unrealistic expectations and make them less grateful overall.

Is there anything you won’t buy for your kids for their own good? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Should People Be Fined for Having Too Many Kids?

Do You Need Kids To Live a “Fulfilled” Life?

Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.

7 Unorthodox Parenting Methods That Actually Work

April 21, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Parenting is about creative problem-solving. Every parent deals with unique issues that require out-of-the-box solutions. While not every parenting method will work for your family, it’s important to understand the helpful tools at your disposal. We’ve laid out several of the best unorthodox parenting methods that might help you as you get through the terrible twos, the teenage years, and everything in between.

1. No Screens

According to the University of Albany, 87% of kids spend too much time in front of screens, exceeding the recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics. Although kids love watching shows and playing games on their tablets, it may not be the best activity for their development. Unicef says that screens hijack children’s attention spans, reduce their impulse control, and lower their empathy levels.

When one mom decided to take the screens away completely, she noticed immediate improvements in her children’s behavior. The kids didn’t throw as many tantrums and even had fewer nightmares. They were more creative and calmer. The family as a whole also spent more quality time together and engaged in new hobbies together. Although life without screens can seem incomprehensible at first, this unorthodox parenting method may actually work!

2. Free Range Parenting

Actors Kristen Bell and Dax Shepherd use an unorthodox parenting method called “free ranging.” It’s basically the opposite of helicopter parenting. Instead of closely supervising their kids all the time, Dax and Kristen give their offspring more autonomy. For example, they allow them to ride their motorcycles around the neighborhood unsupervised.

Proponents of this unusual parenting style say that it helps kids build independence and problem-solving skills. However, striking the right balance between autonomy and parental oversight is important to ensure your kids stay safe.

3. Homeschooling

It’s a common misconception that homeschooled kids struggle academically. Studies have actually shown that homeschoolers perform better on standardized tests and earn higher GPAs in college. Many homeschoolers also thrive socially and are just as outgoing as their public school peers.

However, if you’re thinking about homeschooling, it’s crucial to provide your kids with adequate resources and opportunities. Do your research to find a robust curriculum that suits your child’s needs. Make sure to provide plenty of after-school enrichment, including extracurriculars, museum visits, and social opportunities.

4. Low or No Sugar

With the prevalence of sugar in foods, some parents are deciding to limit or fully delay their child’s consumption of it. While you can never fully escape sugar as it naturally occurs in fruits and vegetables, high sugar foods like candy or sodas are on another level. A 12-oz can of Pepsi contains 40 grams of sugar, which is almost double the recommended limit for adults.

The Keck School of Medicine at USC has found that toddlers who drink a half cup of 100% juice every day are 30% more likely to be overweight within two years. It’s essential that parents understand how much sugar a child at any given age can consume. Starting our kids off with healthy habits is the key to a long and successful life.

5. Toy Cycling

Many kids receive mountains of toys for Christmas and have overflowing toy chests. However, leaving out all of your child’s toys can overwhelm them. Montessori toy rotation is an unorthodox parenting method that involves limiting your child’s toy selection.

Instead of leaving out every stuffie and figurine, Montessori parents only give their kids access to a few toys and activities at a time. This helps children focus better and truly master the skills that each toy is designed to teach. Every week, Montessori parents rotate the selection of toys, swapping them out for a different set. This creates a sense of novelty that helps children get excited about learning through play.

6. Starting Chores Early

Most of us had chores growing up and learned responsibility by doing laundry and mopping floors. Although the value of chores is widely understood, many parents don’t start early enough.

Believe it or not, children as young as 2 or 3 benefit from chores. Kids who start putting toys away and dressing themselves at a young age report higher levels of confidence and self-esteem. Kids who learn to help around the house early even feel better at academics and happier with their lives.

7. Gentle Parenting

Many people believe that gentle parenting is permissive. But it’s all about holding space for your child’s emotions and teaching boundaries in an empathetic way. For example, a gentle parent wouldn’t allow their child to hit them. They’d validate that the child is having big emotions and explain that hitting is still isn’t allowed.

When a child misbehaves, gentle parents will try to redirect the child, helping them choose a more positive behavior. Modeling the behavior that you want to see can also encourage your kids to make better decisions. If these non-punitive strategies don’t work, gentle parents can still use natural or logical consequences to discipline their kids. For example, if a child throws his food on the floor, he may be required to help clean it up as a logical consequence.

Studies have shown that positive parenting techniques like gentle parenting lead to better brain functioning during the teen years. Plus, kids who experience this unorthodox parenting method have better relationships and mental health as adults.

Which unorthodox parenting methods do you swear by? Are there any that haven’t worked for you? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.

When Crying Is a Real Problem: 8 Ways to Decide

April 16, 2025 | Leave a Comment

For babies and children, crying is a natural, regular part of emotional regulation. It’s how they express themselves and communicate their needs and fears to caregivers. However, sometimes crying can become excessive depending on your child’s developmental stage. If the tantrums and tears seem to be never-ending, here are 8 ways to decide if your child’s crying is becoming an issue.

1. Are They Crocodile Tears?

Older children and even toddlers may learn that crying gets them attention or something else they want. Sometimes, kids will use fake crocodile tears to manipulate their caregivers, which may be accompanied by high-pitched whining. Your first instinct may be to scold your child for this behavior to nip it in the bud. However, some experts say that acknowledging their emotions and helping them find a coping strategy (without caving to their demands) is a better way to handle the situation.

2. Duration

It’s normal for kids to cry or have a bit of a meltdown when they’re tired, hungry, or dealing with disappointment. However, pay attention to the duration of your child’s tears. If the crying is ongoing and lasts for hours, it may signal a deeper issue, such as physical pain, illness, or anxiety.

3. Other Symptoms

Kids who are crying due to pain, injury, or illness may exhibit other symptoms. If you’re concerned, be sure to take your child’s temperature and look for physical signs like swelling, rash, vomiting, and changes in eating patterns. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, it may be time for a visit to the doctor.

4. Negative Effects

Excessive crying not only negatively affects your child, but also everyone around them, including siblings and classmates. If your child has a crying problem, they may have trouble making friends or functioning at school. If your child’s teacher gives them a poor progress report due to this behavior, it may be wise to seek outside support. A school counselor or family therapist can work with your child on coping strategies and provide much-needed guidance.

5. Developmental Stage

Each child is unique and develops at a slightly different pace. However, there are generally certain age ranges when kids hit common milestones. Babies and toddlers use crying as a main form of communication, so expect lots of meltdowns. But by age 5 or 6, kids usually gain better emotional regulation skills and cry less frequently.

If your child is still shedding tears and throwing tantrums constantly at this stage, it’s possible that there are underlying problems. Getting a professional opinion can help you determine if your child’s crying is a real issue that requires further intervention.

6. Offering Comfort Doesn’t Work

Usually when a child is upset or disappointed, receiving comfort and validation from a caregiver helps calm them down. Experts suggest acknowledging your child’s feelings and providing a diversion, alternate solution, or calming strategy like mindful breathing. If soothing strategies never seem to work and prolonged crying is the norm, there may be something deeper going on.

7. Repetitive Triggers

Repetitive triggers can also signal that your child’s crying is a real problem. If your child consistently cries during certain activities, such as mealtime or bedtime, there may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. For example, your child may cry during meals if they have sensory issues and are overwhelmed by the smells, tastes, and textures of different foods. Nighttime anxiety or bedwetting could create tantrums before bedtime. If you notice this kind of pattern, working to meet your child’s unaddressed needs could help mitigate the tantrums.

8. Trust Your Gut

If your gut is saying that your child’s crying is a real issue, it’s probably wise to listen to it. You know what’s normal for your child and what’s not. If you detect an unusual change in their behavior, something might be going on. Speaking to experts like your child’s teacher or pediatrician can help you get to the bottom of it.

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Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.

What Are the Long-Term Effects of Sleep Training?

April 14, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Sleep training is a sensitive, complex topic. Some parents and experts swear by it and extol the benefits of allowing babies to self-soothe. Others believe that letting babies “cry it out” could create attachment issues and increase infant stress. To help you decide how to handle bedtime, let’s dive into some of the studies that show the long-term effects of sleep training.

What Is Sleep Training?

Before we dive into the studies, it’s important to understand what sleep training is. Sleep training is an umbrella term that encompasses many different types of bedtime routines. These run the gamut from shutting the door and letting babies “cry it out” to sleeping next to their crib. This method is often referred to as “camping out” in the baby’s nursery. Some sleep training methods recommend checking on your child at regular intervals or if they cry for too long.

The fact that there are so many sleep training methods can make it difficult for researchers to compare all of them. It’s possible that the type of sleep training you use may affect your baby’s long-term outcomes.

Effects of Sleep Training

Health of the Parents

One of the most positive long-term effects of sleep training is the health benefits this method confers on parents. Obviously, your baby waking up and crying frequently disturbs your sleep, which has negative consequences over time. Studies have shown that depressed moms are more likely to have babies with broken sleep patterns. In this case, sleep training may be beneficial. According to the BBC, mothers of sleep-trained two-year-olds were less likely to be depressed. Ultimately, when parents have better mental health, they’re able to be more responsive, engaged, and effective.

Long-Term Attachment

baby looking at you — Image Source: Unsplash

Some experts warn that sleep training could create attachment issues and increase infant stress. However, these claims can be hard to verify because it’s difficult to gauge anxiety in infants. One method used is measuring cortisol, which can be tricky because it naturally fluctuates throughout the day. So experts say to take study results with a grain of salt.

With that being said, a small study found that babies had elevated cortisol levels after sleep training interventions. Plus, in 1998, Harvard researchers discovered that babies who were left to cry could be more susceptible to stress and trauma as adults. However, some longitudinal studies yielded different findings.

Researchers in Australia decided to measure children’s cortisol levels five years later to gauge the long-term effects of sleep training. One group had undergone behavioral intervention as babies, while the other group hadn’t. Since the two groups had no significant difference in cortisol levels, they concluded that sleep training doesn’t make kids more stressed in the long run.

According to the BBC, another long-term study found that sleep-trained babies were no more likely to have attachment or behavioral issues at six years of age than other children. Their sleep patterns and cortisol levels were also in line with expectations.

Short-Term Sleep Improvement

Another benefit of sleep training is short-term sleep improvement. A review of 52 studies found that 80% of children experienced clinically significant improvements from bedtime behavioral interventions. These improvements were maintained for between 3 and 6 months. Parents may need to repeat sleep training to make the results stick long-term. However, these results suggest that it’s an effective way to get your baby to fall and stay asleep, potentially helping the whole family get more rest.

Sleep is a tricky topic because every baby and family is different. What works for you may not work for your friends and vice versa. Ultimately, you have to follow your parental instincts. Experts say that going against them can make you more stressed out, so don’t feel like you have to sleep train just because it’s popular. Whether you prefer to rock your baby to sleep or let them self-soothe, feel free to follow your parental intuition.

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Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.

8 Strategies for Managing Sibling Rivalry

April 9, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Managing sibling rivalry requires striking a delicate balance. It’s important to mete out consequences consistently and evenly to avoid accusations of unfairness. Parents should also avoid favoritism and treat each child equally. When tensions flare, here are 8 constructive strategies for managing sibling rivalry that will help restore peace in your household.

1. Teach Your Kids Relaxation Techniques

When tensions and stress get high, your children may not know how to manage their emotions. Instead of coping in healthy ways, they might be taking it out on each other and butting heads. Teaching your kids how to calm down is key to avoiding sibling conflict in the household.

Relaxation techniques like playing with a fidget toy, counting to ten, deep breathing, guided meditation, and journaling can help your kids process their feelings without turning on each other.

2. Avoid Comparison

As a parent, you don’t want to worsen a sibling rivalry by engaging in comparison. Verbally pitting your kids against each other will only heighten tensions between them and make their shared resentment worse. Avoid using phrases like “if only you could be more like your brother/sister.”

Praising one child in front of the other can also fuel tensions, so consider sharing compliments privately. Try to dole out equal amounts of praise and recognize each child’s unique attributes and accomplishments.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

Managing sibling rivalry also involves setting clear boundaries and expectations around behavior. Make sure your kids understand the rules and consequences for breaking them. Roughhousing, mean-spirited comments, and excessive bickering should all come with punishments, such as removing phone privileges.

Impress upon your children that you expect respectful conduct in your household, just like their teachers do at school. It may be helpful to post a list of rules and consequences as a reminder in a visible place like the kitchen fridge.

4. Enforce Rules Equally

Siblings who are in a rivalry with each other will also be sensitive to unfair punishments. Enforcing the rules unevenly and inconsistently could deepen the animosity between your kids. Doling out consequences equally requires you to be vigilant about monitoring your children’s behavior and managing their sibling rivalry.

If you didn’t witness an argument or infraction, avoid taking one child’s side over the other constantly. Treating one child like they’re more trustworthy than the other can cause resentments to bubble up.

5. Mediate Conflict

If your children do get into a conflict, it’s important to step in and try to mediate. Ask open-ended questions to get to the bottom of the disagreement and figure out what happened. Avoid assigning blame and try to teach your children positive conflict resolution and problem-solving skills.

For example, say your kids fight over the temperature of their shared bedroom. You could brainstorm solutions together, such as getting extra blankets or personal fans to make everyone more comfortable. Once your kids realize it’s more productive to talk it out rather than fight it out, the sibling rivalry may diminish.

6. Create Relaxing Family Rituals

According to Forbes, family rituals can increase social cohesion within your household and help with managing sibling rivalry. Simple routines like Sunday dinner or game night can encourage bonding among your kids and foster a sense of familial belonging. Relaxing together by playing video games or sharing a meal can also help reduce everyone’s stress levels, potentially preventing emotions from flaring.

Another ritual to consider implementing is going around the dinner table and sharing highs and lows from the day. If your kids hear each other’s best and worst moments, it may help foster empathy and understanding between them.

7. Don’t Force Friendship Artificially

It’s reasonable to expect your kids to treat each other with respect and spend time together as a family every now and then. However, managing sibling rivalry doesn’t require you to force friendship between your kids. It’s ok if they don’t want to sit at the same lunch table at school or go to the mall together.If they have a hard time sharing a bedroom, making different sleeping arrangements isn’t admitting defeat.

Try to avoid forcing your kids together more often than necessary or lamenting that they aren’t besties in front of them. Pushing the issue could actually make the sibling rivalry worse.

8. Stay Calm and Listen

It’s easy to get upset and lose your cool while managing sibling rivalry. But getting stressed out and raising your voice could escalate tensions further. Staying calm and actively listening to each child’s side of the story will go a long way toward resolving the disagreement.

Facilitating constructive problem-solving and conflict resolution between your kids will hopefully help mitigate the animosity over time. Most kids eventually grow out of sibling rivalries, so remember that you won’t be stuck with household discord forever!

Do you have any helpful strategies for managing sibling rivalry? Drop them in the comments!

Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.

5 Negative Techniques That Deter Communication with Your Teenager

April 7, 2025 | Leave a Comment

If it seems like your teen never comes to you with their problems, your communication style may be partly to blame. Without realizing it, you may be employing negative conversation techniques like lecturing or interrogating. When parents inadvertently invalidate their children’s feelings, they may begin to pull away emotionally. If you want to rebuild trust and open communication with your teen, here are 5 negative conversation habits to avoid.

Lecturing Instead of Listening

Trying to impart wisdom on your teen through a one-sided lecture probably won’t have the intended effect. Teens often interpret well-meaning lectures as judgment or criticism, which puts them on the defensive. Even if your monologue is full of great advice, it will likely go in one ear and out the other!

Understandably, teens want to feel heard and validated by their parents. If you talk over your teen instead of actively listening when they share their problems, your child may feel like you don’t care.

If you’re concerned about your teen’s behavior, the first step is to ask them what’s going on and truly listen. Once you know what’s wrong, whether it’s school stress or problems with friends, you can open up a dialogue about how to solve the problem. Brainstorming potential fixes with your teen will make a bigger, more positive difference than launching into a diatribe.

Invalidating Their Feelings

Teens go through big hormonal changes, which can cause them to overreact emotionally in ways that seem irrational to adults. As a parent, it’s important to put yourself in your child’s shoes and try to remember what it felt like to be a teenager.

While young adults have fewer responsibilities than adults, they still face pressures like bullying, school, stress, social media use, and body image issues. Even seemingly minor problems like arguing with a friend can feel like the end of the world to a teen with limited life experience.

When your child comes to you with a small problem that feels devastating, your first reaction may be to put the issue into perspective. However, that type of reaction can feel invalidating or dismissive to your teen. Instead of minimizing the situation, try to express sympathy instead. Saying “I’m sorry” or “that must’ve been hard for you” will go a long way toward building trust with your teen. You don’t have to join your teen in over-dramatizing or catastrophizing the situation to acknowledge and validate their “big feelings.”

“Because I Said So”

Imposing Unilateral Decisions Without Discussion — Image Source: Pexels

As parents, we’re responsible for our children’s safety. So sometimes we have to make unpopular decisions to safeguard their well-being. Teens who are trying to establish independence may not understand why healthy limits and boundaries are necessary. Your child may not see a problem with staying up late on their phone. But you know they’ll be exhausted the next day, which will affect their school performance.

If your teen doesn’t think a certain rule is necessary, try to explain your reasoning to them. Your child is more likely to follow their curfew, for example, if they understand why you chose that specific time. Avoid using authoritarian phrases like “because I said so” to justify rules to your teen when they question you. This type of language leaves no room for discussion and may confuse and frustrate your child, leading to resentment.

Interrogating

Parents have a biological drive to make sure children are protected and safe at all times, and knowing where they are and with whom is a crucial part of that. Unfortunately, interrogating your teen with rapid-fire questions is not the way to foster open communication. Interrogating your teen can teach him or her to drip-feed you half-truths instead of being open with you.

Your teen may feel the need to hide things from you or spin a story to get your approval. This habit of obscuring the truth could put your teen in potentially dangerous situations, such as sneaking out to go to a party. Instead of interrogating or prying, try asking open-ended questions to foster healthy, honest communication with your teen.

For example, if your child forgets to answer your texts while out with friends, calmly ask them why. Giving them a chance to explain what happened instead of assuming the worst and interrogating them will help foster trust.

Comparing Your Teen to Others

Comparing your teen to their friends or siblings is one of the most efficient ways to shut down a conversation and deter an open dialogue. While you may simply be trying to emphasize your level of concern or disappointment, blunt language can significantly impact kids and teens. Comparing your child to others can reduce their sense of individuality, lower their self-esteem, and introduce frustration.

While other teens may seem wonderful, you have to remember you are likely seeing them on their best behavior. Inadvertently comparing your child to someone they dislike or have disagreements with can lead to resentment and more acts of rebellion.

How do you foster trust and open communication with your teen? Share your tips in the comments!

Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.

Is It Ok to Let Your Child Fail?

April 2, 2025 | Leave a Comment

It’s natural for parents to be afraid to let their kids fail. But insulating your kids from the consequences of their actions could hinder their growth and development. If you constantly rescue your kids and fix their problems, they won’t learn how to rely on themselves. Helicopter parenting can also prevent them from developing a healthy sense of self-confidence. Here’s why you should step back and let your kids make mistakes.

Learning Through Failure

Seeing failure as a learning opportunity for your child instead of an unnecessary, negative experience is key. It’s not cruel to let your child fail—it’s essential for their growth and development.

Allowing your child to struggle with a school project or make a mistake on their homework helps them develop persistence and a growth mindset. When your child finally understands that difficult concept they’ve been trying to grasp, they’ll feel a greater sense of accomplishment because they did it on their own. Letting your child flounder a bit can help them become more self-reliant and learn that persistence eventually pays off!

Understanding Natural Consequences

Another benefit of allowing your child to fail is that it helps them learn about natural consequences. For example, if your child plays video games instead of studying, they’ll realize that procrastination hurts their test results. But if you nag your child about reviewing their flashcards, they may not learn this important lesson.

Letting your child make mistakes in low-stakes situations is crucial. If they aren’t allowed to learn that actions have consequences now, they may make bigger, more life-altering mistakes when they’re older.

Strike a Healthy Balance

It’s possible to strike a healthy balance between supporting your child and letting them fail sometimes. For example, say you notice that procrastination is becoming a pattern for your child. Instead of nagging them or helicopter parenting, you could brainstorm potential solutions together, such as completing homework before playing games.

Helping them problem-solve and develop strategies for success will enable them to develop critical thinking skills. Providing your child with support and guidance rather than rescuing them from problems will enable them to become independent.

Embrace a Positive Mindset About Failure

Studies have shown that your mindset about failure can affect how your kids handle it. Your children may not learn as much from their mistakes if you view failure as shameful or embarrassing. It’s important to teach your kids that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process.

You don’t have to deny your emotions and pretend that failure is a fun experience. It’s ok to let your kids know that you feel disappointed when things don’t go your way. But try not to frame failure as something that can or should be avoided. Help your kids understand that everybody makes mistakes, even grown-ups. Show them that messing up isn’t the end of the world—it’s actually an opportunity for growth.

Modeling a positive response to failure can teach your kids how to cope with it. It’s important to own up to your own mistakes, figure out where you went wrong, and plan to do better in the future. If your kids see you deal with your slip-ups in a constructive way, they’ll learn to do the same.

Do you believe in letting your kids fail, or do you think parents should come to their rescue to protect them? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.

6 Grammar Slip-Ups That Make You Look Dumber Than A 5th Grader

March 31, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Everybody has access to free grammar checkers like Grammarly, so there’s no excuse for making common grammar mistakes. If you confuse “fewer” and “less” or misuse the Oxford comma, you may need to revisit your 5th-grade English lessons. These 6 slip-ups undermine your credibility, especially at work. Here are some grammar tips to help you avoid these embarrassing blunders in the future.

6 Common Grammar Mistakes

1. Mixing Up Their, There, and They’re

One of the most annoying, common grammar mistakes is mixing up these three words with similar spellings: their, there, and they’re. Although they may look alike, they have completely different meanings.

“Their” is a possessive pronoun used to denote ownership (ie. their jacket), while “there” is used to indicate location. “They’re” is a contraction that’s short for “they are.”

Confusing these words will completely change the meaning of your sentence and make it seem like you need a grammar lesson. This unfortunate error may not be corrected by spellcheck, so keep an eye out.

2. Your vs. You’re

A common grammar mistake you shouldn’t make after middle school is confusing “your” and “you’re.” The word “your” is used to indicate possession, whereas “you’re” is a contraction.

In my opinion, texting has made this error even more prominent because it’s easier to drop the apostrophe. But it’s worth taking an extra moment to type “you’re” correctly, especially if you’re trying to give someone a compliment. Saying “your great” just doesn’t have the same ring to it!

3. Adverbs vs. Adjectives

Using an adjective when you should’ve used an adverb can make your writing sound unintelligent. To avoid this common grammar mistake, remember that adjectives modify nouns, while adverbs modify verbs.

For example, “she ran quick” is incorrect because “quick” is an adjective and “ran” is a verb. To make this sentence agree, you should use the adverb form “quickly” instead. You can usually turn adjectives into adverbs by adding the suffix “ly.”

4. Fewer and Less

While this is an area where people often get tripped up, this grammar rule is pretty clear. You should use “fewer” for things you can count (fewer cookies, fewer mistakes, fewer excuses) and “less” for things you can’t (less sugar, less time, less drama). Basically, if you can put a number in front of it (five cupcakes, 6 common grammar mistakes), go with “fewer.”

5. Inconsistent Oxford Comma

The Oxford comma has been the subject of intense debate for years. In case you’re unfamiliar, it’s the final comma in a list or series of words. Although it’s grammatically optional, devoted fans of the serial comma say it prevents confusion by creating clear separation between each item in a list. Detractors insist that it’s unnecessary. Some style guides (like the Chicago Manual of Style) suggest that you use it, while others omit it.

At the end of the day, Oxford comma usage comes down to personal preference. But whether or not you use it, remember to be consistent! You’ll confuse readers if you go back and forth between using and omitting it in the same piece of writing. Pick one side of the Oxford comma debate and stick to it!

6. Incorrect Capitalization

In the internet age, capitalization rules (and punctuation rules for that matter) have gone out the window. People often capitalize random words in social media posts, seemingly for emphasis. But this common grammar mistake just makes your writing seem chaotic and distracts from your message. Remember, you only need to capitalize the first word at the beginning of a sentence, book and movie titles, proper nouns, and the pronoun “I.”

What’s the worst grammar mistake or typo you’ve ever made? Let us know in the comments!

Vicky Monroe

Vicky Monroe is a freelance personal finance writer who enjoys learning about and discussing the psychology of money. In her free time, she loves to cook and tackle DIY projects.