Parenting Archives - Page 87 of 92

Easing the Transition of Changing Schools

August 10, 2016 | Leave a Comment

In just a week schools will be full of kids running the halls. Though I always remember it being an exciting time of year, for some kids it can be an incredibly stressful time, especially if they’re moving to new school for the first time.

Whether you’ve moved and starting fresh or you’re a brand new kiddo getting ready to embark for the first time, certain things can certainly ease the stress of starting a new school.

Ease Their Minds

Young children will be placed in an entirely new environment for the first time.

It is important to ease their mind in as many ways as you can. Read books about school and reinforce that it is a safe and exciting place to go. There are a lot of great books (The Kissing Hand and the Berenstain bear stories come to mind) that will give the child a good idea about what to expect.

Visit the School Ahead of Time

If you’re able to get into the school a few days before classes start it may be a good idea to walk the halls and give them a layout of where things like the principal’s office is, for reassurance. Make sure they have any medication they may need (especially something like an epipen) and a list of phone numbers where you can be reached (though the office will also have these numbers in case something happens its nice knowing your child has access themselves).

Prepare Them for Emergencies

Older kids moving forward in grade school may already have the safety net of a group of friends moving on with them. This alone may be enough to make the transition easier for them. If they’re old enough to have their own cell phone makes sure they know when to use it (no playing with it in class!) and make sure their contact list is again updated with all important numbers.

Though having mom and dad’s work number isn’t the top contact priority for a young teenager, if there was even an emergency that they needed to get in touch with you they will need it.

Easing the Transition to College

My biggest transition period was definitely moving onto university. Moving from the comforts of four walls to a huge campus was a big adjustment. Just like I did on a tour when starting primary school, my mom, an alma matter to my university, spent a day with me walking on campus and point out where everything was.

I already had my class schedule so was able to walk up to each classroom and know exactly where it was so I didn’t waste any time getting lost in those first few days. I also located other important things like library, student union, student services and university security, covering all my bases. I was much more comfortable on my first day of classes given I had some basic knowledge of the campus before-hand.

Change is scaring especially when totally leaving your comfort zone. Though kids get the hang if things pretty quickly it’s always nice to prepare them in any way we can. They’ll thank us later.

Catherine

Catherine is a first time momma to a rambunctious toddler. When she isn’t soaking up all that motherhood has to offer, you can find her blogging over at Plunged in Debt where she chronicles her and her husbands journey out of debt. You can also follow her on Twitter.

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My Favorite Toys for Kids Under 5 Years

August 3, 2016 | Leave a Comment

A friend of mine was recently trying to decide on if a toy purchase for her son was ‘’worth it’’. She didn’t want to start buying a bunch of useless toys for him to have her small house cluttered with kids stuff that was hardly used (a problem I can sympathize with).

My house is overrun with kids stuff. Our daughter is the first grandchild, niece, baby in a long time and people love buying baby stuff despite us asking not to. We have made it quite clear we would rather have a contribution to her education savings than another doll or stuffed animal but people feed off that immediate toddler smile and ‘’thank you’’. However over the years though, a few toys have come into our lives that we love and have had hours of fun playing with. Gifts I am so grateful for, or money I’m so glad we spent.

Books

This is an easy one, but we’re big book lovers and I am all too happy to give another book a home.

Reading is very important to us and though we have a few favorites that rotate every few days, we love having new stories come into our lives. You can never go wrong with giving a child a book.

A few of our favorites from the last four years are the Oliva series; the Fancy Nancy series; Each Peach, Pear, Plum; Sandra Boynton (anything); Look and Find books (hours of fun playing eye-spy); A Very Hungry Caterpillar; The Kissing Hand; Are You My Mother and Sheep in a Jeep. I have hundreds of children’s books in my house and always looking for more! You may be able to find deals on these books using a ebay.ca coupon.

Play Food and Accessories

I think it was for my daughters first birthday that someone gave her a huge gift of pretend food and accessories (pots/pans/bowls/spoons). Over three years later and these are still going strong. Where it started out as a good learning toy- identifying shapes, colors and types of food, she now interacts with them and role-plays which is really fun. A huge hit in our house.

Toy Cash Register

This was a gift from her babysitter when she turned two. Not only does she just love playing with the pretend money it is a huge learning opportunity for us to teach her financial lessons. Sometimes we’ll play grocery store with her pretend food and we’re at the point now of teaching her how many coins she needs to buy the things. Again, over two years later and this still consistently gets played with.

Play House

Two years ago we had an opportunity to buy a small playhouse at a store for 60% off, we decided to go for it and she loves it. I think we paid $100 for it and have gotten a ton of use out of it. It’s plastic and we keep it outside year round. She goes from growing her pretend garden to literally shoveling the snow out of her front ‘’door’’. We play with it year-round and will continue to until she’s too big for it.

Lego/Blocks

My husband was given a collection of wooden blocks when he was a child and he was able to save them to give her our daughter. We have a few different types of blocks (everything from traditional Lego to wood blocks) and she loves them all. This is something I don’t see her growing out of anytime soon.

Crayons/Paper/Coloring books/Stickers

It’s just that simple. We go though a ton of all of the above and she loves them.

Some toys are a complete waste of money. We’re much better at picking our battles in terms of what we spend money on but we are very happy that a few toys have found their way into our lives and offered our daughter so much joy!

What are your favorite toys for small kids?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

Planning for Baby #2!

June 29, 2016 | Leave a Comment

We finally announced that we are happily expecting baby #2 this year. If all goes well, by Christmas this year we’ll officially be a family of four. Our daughter, who just turned four this month is beyond excited and all to ready to start prepping for baby– more than mom and dad I think!

Thankfully we held onto a lot of stuff from our first pregnancy which saves on what we need to get for baby #2. There were a few things though that either didn’t make the journey with us or quite simply didn’t work as we had hoped and really need to replace. I’m hoping that we’ll be able to get everything we need for less than $500.

Maternity Clothes: $150

This pregnancy is the opposite season of my first. My first was due in June, this baby is due in December. This of course means most of my seasonal maternity clothes don’t make sense or I just don’t have. I didn’t need to buy maternity summer clothes with #1, where I can no longer fit into any non-maternity summer clothes. Given that I’m in scrubs most of the time (something else that doesn’t fit great anymore), I needed to buy some summer items. I decided to buy two pairs of shorts and a few tops (which I don’t need quite yet) on clearance.

I waited until I had a 40% off coupon and bought two pairs of shorts at one of the only maternity stores in town (we don’t have anything like a Target and none of our WalMart’s carry maternity items so we’re forced to shop at maternity clothing stores which are crazy expensive).

I tried our local thrift stores first with no luck at all. I also thought I could get away with buying a few bigger sized shorts at a cheaper store but had no luck there either. In the end, the shorts were $45 each but I had the coupon which helped. The tops were bought only because I knew I’d need them in a few months and were on clearance for $10-20 each. I also bought a maternity dress on clearance in preparation for a wedding I’ll be attending in the fall at 6.5 months pregnant.

When this pregnancy is done I also plan on selling all my maternity clothes to help the cost a bit!

New Crib Mattress: $120

I was hoping we wouldn’t need to buy this but after looking at our current crib mattress, which our daughter used for 3.5 years it’s not in great shape. It’s quite stained and I think one of the springs is broken (possibly from toddlers jumping on the bed while trying to escape?).

I found a really nice organic one at Marshalls recently that was on sale from $220 for $99. I’m hoping one will be there in a few months when we go to buy. Worst case, there’s always Costco which sells them for $100 year round.

Breast Pump: $100 (or less)

I have every intention of breastfeeding again as I did with our daughter for 14 months. I had a pump, lent it to a friend and she accidentally broke it. She felt pretty bad and ended up giving us some gift certificates towards the purchase of a new one despite be trying to tell her not to worry about it.

I think with the gift certificates and sales that are ongoing, $100 is more than enough. I may also be able to borrow one from another friend who’s been having breastfeeding issues but has a very expensive high-end pump that we could just buy new tubing to.

Diaper Bag: $45

We were given a diaper bag with our daughter which I used literally until she was out of diapers and didn’t have to worry about an outfit change every outing we made. Some people don’t use them but I loved having the dedicated bag to our daily needs to take a quick notice. Near the end of it’s life though the zipper tore off and though I had intentions of having it repaired, when I went to look through our baby stuff recently I couldn’t find it. I did eventually crumpled up in a ball in the corner of our damp basement storage room full of mold.

I’m not storing our new baby stuff in a broken moldy bag so I threw it out. As fate would have it, I found a really nice bag online through Zulily at a great price. The bag normally retails for almost $200 but they were selling it for $35 plus $6 shipping. I haven’t received it yet but it’s reviewed very well so I’m sure it will serve our needs just fine.

Infant Car Seat: $85

Since car seats expire we need a new infant car seat. We happened to be in a store recently while they were marking down their infant seats (50% off) from last year’s fabric pattern. We scored a new infant car seat for $80 and it’s compatible with our current stroller.

Planning for baby #2 is definitely less stressful than your first that’s for sure. I’m glad we held onto as much as we did and won’t need to but much beyond what’s already listed!

How did you plan for baby #2?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

How to Prepare for Maternity Leave

June 22, 2016 | Leave a Comment

I am the first to admit that I was 100% unprepared for maternity leave. My baby was due at the end of June and because of some complications I was having (which was hindering my ability to work), my OB was talking about putting me off as early as the beginning of March. Given my unpreparedness, there was no way we’d be able to handle an additional three months on top of what would be a yearlong leave from my job. The only thing I did know was that money would be tight.

It was a huge wake up call to find out my income would inevitably be almost 60% decreased on leave for twelve long months. To say it was an adjustment would be an understatement. I learned a lot though and when the time comes for future children we will be much more prepare following these few self-imposed rules.

Beef up the Savings

We had zero savings when our daughter was born. Not even an emergency fund. Thankfully we got our act together and stashed a small one away once we realized how unsafe we were being but it wasn’t easy. If we have more kids I will be spending the whole gestational period saving more money. If my doctor wants me to go off early again I need to be able to do it and not worry about the financial repercussions. I need to be able to take care of me and my (potential) baby.

Adjust Your Budget

Again, we didn’t have a budget when I went off with our daughter, big no-no. Now that we have a money monitoring system in place, if we have more kids I will adjust it to accommodate the changes. You need to figure out what your new baby will need (diapers, clothes, potential formula, medical appointments etc.) and make sure the money is allotted. Also make sure any income changes are addressed for the time off work.

Prepare Your Life

Do as much prep as you can before your income and time is potentially reduced. There were things we didn’t necessarily need right away (high chair, crib) but we bought when we had more disposable income and had time to shop sales.

Also spend time preparing for the first few weeks at home. While you have time and energy, prep your freezer for easy meals or you may find yourself eating out more than you’d like. Those first few days, weeks, are exhausting and if you are the primary cook, you will really want easy meals. Your spouse will be tired too and be so thankful when you tell them there’s a meal already prepped in the freezer for them to throw in.

Whether it’s your first or fourth, being pregnant and bringing a new baby home will be a change in every aspect of your life. Don’t be like me with my first pregnancy, sit down as soon as you find out your pregnant and figure out what changes you need to make in your life!

What things did you do to prepare for maternity leave?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

My Experience With Co-Sleeping

June 15, 2016 | Leave a Comment

Before having our daughter, I never would have thought that we would co-sleep. We knew we wanted her close, in our room, for the first few weeks but could never have foreseen bed-sharing, for what ended up being almost 10 months.

The first few nights at home, our daughter slept in a bassinet close to the couch I was forced to sleep on since getting in and out of our bed was too challenging post c-section. After a few nights I was able to get into bed and we moved her to the bedroom where I would climb in and out of bed for nighttime nursing sessions.

The issue we were running into was that she was waking up too much when she nursed and would take me almost an hour to get her back to sleep, multiple times per night. After a few weeks of this, in a totally exhausted and desperate state, I brought her in bed with me where we both were able to sleep for the first time in almost a month. She was still waking every two to three hours to feed but because I wasn’t rousing her too much, she’d nurse then we’d both fall right back to sleep. It was glorious and so a new routine was formed.

It took my husband a little while to get comfortable with bed sharing as he was nervous about something happening to her while we slept, but I assured him that even though I was ‘’asleep’’ it was a very different hyper-aware sleep. In almost 10 months, we didn’t have any issues and it worked very well for our family.

Though my husband was initially nervous about it, he ended up really enjoying the experience as well. The three of us developed a nice closeness that we all enjoyed and looked forward to. Obviously if you have a spouse who isn’t in favor of bedsharing, or any form of co-sleeping, it likely won’t work out. Had my husband been dead-set against it I would not have continued but I’m so glad it did work.

People were warning us that with bedsharing we would end up with a college student still in our bed but that wasn’t the case. When we were all ready, and as I was preparing to go back to work, we transitioned her out of our bed and into her own crib. There was a two to three night transition but we haven’t looked back since and she’s four now.

Co-sleeping has many options that work well for various families. We did also try moving her pack-and-play crib beside our bed, but as soon as I would pick her up, position her, and lay her back down, she’d be awake for upwards of an hour. Nothing else seemed to work for us as well as bedsharing. Again, I never thought I’d be the type of parent who would even consider co-sleeping but it just worked for us. Having experienced it once I would likely do it again with future children.

Did you try co-sleeping? How did it work for you?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

Things to Consider When Buying a Car Seat

May 25, 2016 | Leave a Comment

Car seats are a necessity with children. Though some parents scoff at the added expense, there really is no price to put on the safety of our children’s lives. We’d feel awfully bad if we were in an accident and our child was hurt due to a preventable scenario in buying a properly fitted car seat. In saying all this, it can be overwhelming when it comes to actually choosing a car seat for your child.

It’s been a few years since we’re had to shop around for a car seat but now that we’re in the process of buying a second vehicle we’re faced with the added expense of another car seat as well (because any parent knows how fun it can be to play musical car seats between multiple vehicles!). There are a lot of great resources out there on child car seat safety, helping to direct you in terms of exactly what specifications you need for your child, but I will also offer a few things to consider from a mom perspective.

Consider Price, But Don’t Let It Dictate Your Purchase

If you’ve ever shopped around for a car seat you’ll know that they can range anywhere from $100 to $1000, easily. The price alone can be overwhelming and you can’t help but assume the more you spend, the safer your child will be but that’s not true. While the $1000 car seat will likely have some nice options it doesn’t mean your child will be ‘’more safe’’ and that is the main point when it comes to car seats isn’t it? Find a few within your price range and do your research. Which brings me to my next point…

Do Your Research!

Like any important purchase, research will be necessary before buying anything. There are many resources out there to help you read up on the safety and/or known issues with the car seats you have selected. Also don’t forget to research car seats that fit will in your current vehicle. We researched car seats forever and finally settled on one only to receive it and find out it didn’t fit in our vehicle at all. The base was way too large so we had to return it and start our search over. Had we started with searching forums about seats that fit well in our vehicle it would have greatly narrowed our search down and saved us a ton of time.

Pay Attention to Expiration Dates

Car seats actually expire. There are a number of reasons manufactures choose to do this (and it really isn’t just a money grab), things like plastic breaking down and safety labels falling off are a few. When we bought out first infant car seat we got a great sale for a car seat/stroller combo only to find out the car seat would actually expire before we were done using it. Thankfully the store had another (with a longer expiration date) in store and exchanged it for us allowing us to use it for the almost full 18 months we intended.

Invest In a Seat Saver

At most major retailers (think Walmart or Babies ‘R Us), you can find car seat savers. They are essentially a pad you put in your car and can sit your car seat on. We didn’t buy one and regretted it. The car seat can make your vehicle kind of…gross. While nothing much happens during the newborn infant stage, the car seat (or base depending on model) can seriously indent the seat of your vehicle. Once kids are old enough to have snacks and drinks in the car it becomes a whole new world. You will find things under the car seat you didn’t know existed (food, water stains, toys…) having one of these seat savers will help you preserve your car. Bonus, they’re pretty cheap, I see them in sale for less than $20 quite often.

A car seat is an important purchase for your family and there is a lot to consider when buying one.

What was the biggest influence on you when deciding on what to buy?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

Having a Baby Doesn’t Mean Your Life is Over

May 11, 2016 | Leave a Comment

The other day a friend on Twitter was making a bunch of comments about how many things she had to accomplish before the baby was born because once the baby came, she’d never have time. While this is partially true in some regards she was referring to things like eating out, going to a movie with her husband, enjoy exercise.

Planning for Life with a New Baby

The reality is though that your life doesn’t actually end when your baby comes. I remember being exactly where she was, frantically trying to plan my new life but in actuality there is no point in trying to plan anything until your baby is actually here. I’m also here to tell you that despite how it may feel, your life isn’t actually going to end when the baby comes, it just changes. Life is certainly different once you add an extra person to care for but to assume you’ll never do things like going to a movie again is ridiculous. If anything, you can use the baby as an excuse to spend more time together.

You can assume that the first few weeks will be spent close to home. There is an adjustment period for everyone. Finding your routine will take time but it doesn’t take long to start finding your groove and venturing out a bit more. New babies are actually easy to take places. While they do have a lot of gear they sleep a lot and are usually easy to calm with one of two things, sleep or food, both of which can be taken care of just about anywhere.

You can be sure to have friends and family who will be all too willing to come over for some baby cuddles while you and your spouse spend some quality time together- something you will both need-to feel some normalcy again. Take them up on this offer! The first time you leave your baby it will be difficult and you will spend most of your time thinking about them but, in my opinion, it’s good for you and baby to get used to being apart for short durations. It allows them to start recognizing that you can be apart but that you’ll eventually return, this is good prep for back to work and/or things like pre-school.

I don’t know where the notion that once you have kids your life ends but it’s not at all true. It is true that your life changes, but to assume it will end, is unfair. Kids actually have a way of making most things more enjoyable. You will find joy in things that you had totally forgotten about; parks, museums even things like going for walk are more enjoyable with a little one to share in the experience.

If you’re expecting your first child, don’t waste your time trying to accomplish a bunch of ‘’before baby’’ list items because your life isn’t ending, it’s just changing. You’ll still do the things you enjoyed before baby, it will just be different, and for the better in my opinion.

Did you frantically plan before having a baby?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

Would You Buy a Home For Your Child?

May 4, 2016 | Leave a Comment

I work for a successful dentist. Part of his success definitely comes from his frugality which I admire. When most think dentist, they think big beautiful home, fancy cars, great work schedule and exotic vacations on a regular basis. While his house is nice, it’s large by necessity not lavishness, he and his wife have four kids and live well within their means. He’s been in practice for 30 years, still works five (long) days per week, by choice, until recently he drove a 16 year old van and when he does take time off it’s usually incorporating a little work with a little play.

He’s extremely modest, except when it comes to his kids.

I totally respect parents who can afford to put their children through school. While I don’t think it is the parent’s duty to do so, if you’re able to afford both putting them through post-secondary while taking care of your own long term financial goals, that’s great. What I can’t wrap my head around is parents who, beyond post-secondary years, continue to financially support their children. For so many reasons I think this is a terrible idea.

Should You Buy a Home for Your Child?

One of the dentist’s children is getting ready to graduate from university this month. He’s finishing with a degree in engineering and already has a job lined up with, what I’ve been told, is a good competitive salary- even better given he has zero debt to manage. He is in a much better position than most all of his peers that’s for sure.

Needless to say I was a little shocked to hear the dentist say he and his wife were considering buying a house for this son to live in, rent free.

Here’s the thing. The kid has already gone through life never having a ‘real’ job, he’s made money doing some sports coaching stuff casually but his only responsibilities were to do well in both school and sports, again given his upbringing that’s fine and I’m not judging, but continuing to baby him beyond university is setting him up for failure. It’s high time he takes care of himself.

If they were genuinely interested in investing in real estate in this city (second highest in our country), because they planned on living there or something, maybe I get it but the kid shouldn’t be allowed to live there rent free that’s for sure.

Thankfully the wife of the dentist spoke some sense in to him and explained where my head at is well, basically that it’s not their responsibility to provide for him anymore and instead are going with him to see a finance person about how he can save for his own place should he choose to stay there (he’s thinking of going back to school).

Though his children are well taken care of, they really do understand how fortunate they are and see how hard their father works to provide for them (probably why of the four kids not one went into dentistry). This story had the potentially to end tragically- like it does for so many families of parents to hold onto their kids way too long, but thankfully they came to their senses and backed out of the idea.

Would you buy your kids a house to live in?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

What To Do When You Find Our You’re Pregnant

April 13, 2016 | Leave a Comment

Taking a pregnancy test is, without a doubt, one of the most intense moments of any woman’s life. When you do finally see the result as being positive, your mind races, like a million miles per minute in many different directions. Your brain definitely goes into a bit of shock when it does see those two little lines, so if you do find yourself holding a big fat positive in your hand, here’s what to do next:

Tell your loved ones

Obviously if you haven’t already, tell your significant other! Some people have fun ways to tell all pre-planned for when the day comes but I wasn’t that thoughtful with my daughter, I just showed him the test, assuming he’d know what it was or how to read it. I’d also consider telling the ones closest to you (mom, best friend), people who you’d want to know both good and bad news. I’d hold off on telling the rest of the world until you get the clear from your doc (around 12 weeks).

Call your doctor

Your family doctor will likely be the one to order the initial bloodwork. Your first appointment will likely be basic stuff like vitals, possible urine sample and a few questions (like when was your last menstrual period). Some family docs may even follow you through the whole pregnancy and delivery, or choose to set referrals up to have you established with an obstetrician. They will also figure out your due date.

Look into your insurance

You may want to have a peek at your insurance coverage so you know what kind of coverage you have. Some plans cover specialists who you may need to start researching now (like a midwife). It’s also good to know as pregnancy goes on as other professions may come into play like potential physiotherapy, massage therapy or acupuncture.

Start thinking about telling work

I know you just found out but in some jobs it may be advantageous that they know early especially if you have a lot of appointments. Depending on what you do for a job, you may literally need close to nine months to start getting someone else ready to take over for your maternity leave as well. Some employers would appreciate as much notice as possible to fill your vacancy.

BREATH

It’s emotionally overwhelming to see that positive, whether it’s your first or 5^th so do your best to relax and not get too overwhelmed. Nine months is a long gestational period and everything will find a way to work out.

Pregnancy is an exciting and interesting journey. Enjoy it and don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed! I was too stubborn at times and more than once overdid it. It’s amazing how hard easy tasks like grocery shopping can become. Try to not wish the next nine months away and enjoy the whole experience.

What was the first thing you did when you found out you were pregnant?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

Should You Co-Sign a Loan For Your Children?

March 30, 2016 | Leave a Comment

When I started university the way federal loans were issued in Canada was much different from how it is today. Long story short, I didn’t qualify for any form of student loans because, on paper, my mom made too much money. They didn’t care that she was a single parent, they looked at her income and the fact that my father should have been paying child support. It didn’t take long for them to change the system but it didn’t help me at all for my undergraduate degree.

I wasn’t not going to university so my mom took me to the bank and got me a student line of credit. Given at a decent interest rate (prime plus 1%). Only real downside was that my mom had to co-sign the loan. Student lines of credit (for the most part) are issued with the collateral being, well, my mom.

Should You Co-Sign on a Loan for Your Children?

I have to be honest I’m not sure I would have done the same thing as my mom. I don’t know what I would have done giving the constraints we were under but I don’t think I would ever co-sign a loan for my child.

My mom has nothing to worry about, I’m a good responsible child and despite our differences I would never default on the loan, forcing her to make the payments. Though I very well could do that, I wouldn’t. I also make sure I have the co-signed loans insured so if, God forbid, I die my mom doesn’t become automatically responsible for their repayment.

My best friends parents did something a little different. Rather than taking out student lines of credit in their names (the children), they (the parents) opted to borrow from their home equity (paid off mortgage) in the form of a home equity line of credit. This way the loans were never in the kids names despite the use being for their education. The kids were asked to sign a repayment agreement in the (very) off-chance they decided to skip town and not pay off their responsibilities. Though my friend borrowed over $20,000 for her education, the day she graduated, according to the bank, she was debt free.

I’ve known people who have needed their parents to co-sign mortgages for them. I would NEVER do this. If the bank doesn’t think my child can afford a mortgage based on their own financial situation I am not mixing myself up in it.

Whether or not you should or should not co-sign a loan really depends on the situation and people involved. I have seen seemingly perfect families ripped apart over monetary issues and I’m sure it’s not the last time I will. You need to protect yourself and your assets.

Though I would hope your child (ren) would never deliberately screw you over with a co-signed loan, it happens for millions of different reasons. While my situation worked in the aspect that I’m diligently paying off my loans, some students are unfortunate when it comes to getting a job and it takes years to pay them off, this debt continuing to follow the parents around.

Though I hope I am never in a situation where I would need to consider this, would you or have you co-signed a loan for your kids?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

How to Prepare the Babysitter For Your Trip Away Without Kids!

March 16, 2016 | Leave a Comment

We love going away with our daughter. In the four years since she’s been born we haven’t been apart for more than a quick overnight. We’ve always found ways to have her be a part of what we’re doing and had fun with it. In a few weeks though we will be taking our first adults only trip and leaving her for an extended period of time with a babysitter (in this case her aunt) while we’re out of the country. For the first time, we need to be much more prepared when we leave her.

Important Medical Information

Since we’ll be out of the country, and a six hour minimum flight away, should there be a medical emergency our babysitter will need access to her health information. Before we leave we will make sure our babysitter has a copy of our daughters provincial health card, medical insurance card should something happen that would require a prescription and our family doctor contact information. I hope none of this information will be needed but if an emergency arises having this information readily available will be one less stress for her.

Meal Ideas

Though our daughter is four, and can talk quite easily, I like to leave a list of meal ideas for the sitter to make her life easier. If my daughter had it her way she’d eat crackers and cheese with hummus for every meal. Also a few things she may request are made up words she uses to describe actual food. While I know what ‘’bunny pasta’’ is, the babysitter will likely have no idea!

A Schedule

We’ve never left her for long enough that someone would need to know how we like to manage her day. From wakeup times, to naps to bedtime. The sitter will need an idea of what to expect, and when. When parents aren’t around kids can easily manipulate their own schedule if left alone and keeping a kid, especially young ones, on a schedule will make everyone’s life much easier.

Special Instructions

Over the weekend that we’re away, our babysitter will need to take our daughter to her dance class. We’ll need to make sure she has all the info necessary to make sure she gets there on time and details like where her dance outfit is. I also need to let the school know someone other than her parents will be there with her.

Emergency Contact Information

Because we’ll be out of town I want to make sure our babysitter has a few local contacts in case of emergency or even if she just needs help with something. We’ll also want to leave the contact information of us, where we’ll be staying, as well as our flight information so she has an idea of when and where we’ll be.

Skype

Most importantly before we leave town we’ll need to make sure our babysitter has a Skype account so we have a little facetime with kiddo while we travel!

As much fun as we have when our daughter is around, a little adult-only time is necessary and this trip doesn’t have child-friendly events anyway (many late night events). As much as I dislike leaving her, I know she’ll have a super fun time with her aunt and probably not even notice that we’re gone!

What tips do you have when planning an out-of-town trip without kids?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

One Parenting Skill Every Parent Should Master

March 9, 2016 | Leave a Comment

Parents love to see their kids happy. Especially during the tumultuous times of toddlerhood when their world doesn’t quite make sense, we like to see them as happy as possible. Being a parent is about caring for, and raising, confident, happy and well-rounded kids. To do this sometimes we have hard battles to contend with. One of the hardest parenting skills we have to learn to master is learning to say ‘No’.

Learning to say No isn’t easy but it is one of the best things we can do for our kids. The world we live in is not a world of ‘’yes’’ all the time. In my life I have certainly had more No’s told to me then Yes’s but I’ve also learned so much more from the no’s then the yes’s. It can be hard to watch your kids grasp the understanding of why we say no but they need to learn the importance of it.

I practice my balance of yes and no as often as I can. For instance when my daughter and I make one of our trips to the local dollar store, she will inevitably ask for something, a ‘’treat’’. Sometimes I say yes and sometimes I say no. Almost four years in, and she now understands that for a multitude of reasons she won’t get a treat every time. Sometimes it’s based on behaviour, sometimes it’s because I didn’t bring enough money, and sometimes it’s because I want to practice saying ‘no, we’re not getting a treat today’’ so she understands it’s not an event that will happen all the time.

Why We Must Learn to Say No

When we don’t master this skill, and don’t start early, we set our kids up for failure. Just last week I had two siblings come in to see me at work, aged 10 and 8. They both presented with malformations in their teeth and oral development that were indicative of sever thumb sucking. I asked the girls to which they denied sucking their thumb, I asked a few other questions before mom finally told me both girls were still using pediatric pacifiers every day, all day when not in school. Needless to say I was a little shocked and told both mom and girls that it had to stop immediately since their development was being seriously hindered by the object in their mouth.

I don’t know what I was expecting but I certainly wasn’t expecting mom to outright refuse to do it because ‘’she didn’t want to upset them in anyway and it was just easier to let them have it’’. All this after I explained the serious consequences (like not having any function of 8 permanent teeth and needing serious orthodontic treatment if they didn’t stop ASAP). I looked at her and said ‘’you’re the mother you need to step in and say No’’, a word clearly NOT in her vocabulary.

I hear so many horror stories of parents delaying their retirement or getting into a financial horror story from helping their kids out financially. So many times it seems like such an easy situation to avoid- just say no. I’m not saying we as parents shouldn’t help our kids out but if it put you in a bad situation you’re not actually helping anyone.

Learning to say no is a crucial lesson to teach kids. It helps set boundaries and protects them (and you too sometimes) from dire situations. In my opinion there are too many ‘’yes parents’’ out there, looking to fill some sort of void (maybe they work a lot or feel they put their kid in a tough situation with a move or something) regardless, saying yes too often will only have detrimental effects on both you and your kids.

How do you practice setting boundaries?

Catherine

plungedindebt.com

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