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Your Dog Died: 8 Ways To Break The News To Your Child

April 6, 2025 | Leave a Comment

dog died
Image Source: 123rf.com

Losing a pet is heartbreaking, especially when it comes to telling your child. A dog is often more than just an animal—it’s a best friend, a playmate, and part of the family. Children process grief differently, and how you break the news can shape their emotional understanding for years to come. It’s important to handle the moment with honesty, sensitivity, and care. While every child is different, there are thoughtful ways to help them through this tough loss. Here are eight compassionate ways to tell your child that their beloved dog has died.

1. Be Honest, But Gentle

Use simple and direct language that’s age-appropriate. Avoid phrases like “went to sleep” or “ran away,” which may confuse or scare younger children. Instead, say that their dog died and explain it’s a part of life, even though it’s sad. Let them know it’s okay to feel upset, confused, or even angry. Speak slowly and allow your child time to process the words. Being honest from the start helps build trust and allows for real emotional healing.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

Pick a quiet, safe space without distractions when you tell your child. Don’t break the news during school hours, bedtime, or in a crowded place. Wait until you can be fully present to answer their questions and hold them if needed. Sitting together at home, perhaps on the couch or in their room, gives a sense of safety. Keep phones off and give your child your full attention. Timing and environment can make a big difference in how they process the news.

3. Let Them See Your Emotions

Don’t feel like you need to hold it all together. Let your child see that you’re sad too—it shows them that grief is a normal part of losing someone you love. Crying or feeling upset in front of them gives them permission to do the same. It helps them feel less alone in their pain. By modeling healthy emotion, you help them navigate their own feelings. Sharing sadness brings comfort and connection.

4. Encourage Questions

Give your child space to ask anything on their mind, even if it seems small or surprising. Children may ask where the dog is now, if they’ll see them again, or what happens when someone dies. Answer as honestly as you can, based on your family’s values or beliefs. Don’t rush to end the conversation—sometimes the questions come later. Reassure them that all questions are okay and that you’re there to talk anytime. Listening is often more important than having the perfect answer.

5. Allow Them to Say Goodbye

If it’s possible, let your child say goodbye in their own way. That could mean writing a letter, drawing a picture, or even having a small memorial. Let them decide how they want to honor their pet’s memory. Participation in a goodbye ritual can give them a sense of closure. It also reinforces the idea that their feelings and memories matter. Saying goodbye can be a powerful step in healing.

6. Share Happy Memories

Talk about the fun, joyful moments they shared with their dog. Tell stories about the dog’s silly habits, favorite toy, or the way they greeted everyone at the door. Sharing memories helps shift the focus from loss to love. It reminds your child that even though their pet is gone, the bond remains. Creating a scrapbook or photo album can be therapeutic. Honoring the good times keeps the love alive.

7. Validate Their Feelings

Let your child know that it’s okay to cry, feel angry, or even not feel much at all right away. Everyone grieves differently, and children often show emotion in waves. Avoid minimizing their sadness or trying to distract them too quickly. Saying things like “you’ll get over it” or “we’ll get a new dog” can feel dismissive. Instead, say, “I know this hurts, and I’m here for you.” Emotional validation is one of the most healing gifts you can offer.

8. Be Patient with the Healing Process

Grief doesn’t have a deadline, especially for children. They may bring up their dog weeks or even months later, and that’s okay. Let them talk about their pet whenever they need to. Grieving is not linear—it comes in waves, and your support will help them through each one. Stay open and compassionate even when it catches you off guard. Your presence and patience will make all the difference.

When Love Lives On

Losing a pet is one of the first deep heartbreaks many children face. It’s a chance for parents to guide them through grief with honesty, love, and emotional safety. How you handle this moment can shape how they understand loss and healing in the future. Through tears, questions, and memories, your child will learn that love doesn’t end with goodbye. While the pain is real, so is the bond they’ll always carry. With your support, they’ll learn that even loss can be a lesson in love that never fades.

Read More

  • Why Dogs Make Horrible Babysitters
  • 6 Dog Breeds That Will Fiercely Protect Your Children

Filed Under: Growing Up Tagged With: children, Death, dog died, Parenting

The Best Books to Explain Death to Children

August 20, 2020 | Leave a Comment

My son was just 3.5 years old when my brother died.  My son was close to my brother, and telling him that his uncle had passed away was extremely difficult.  Because death was such an abstract topic for a child his age and because he loved to be read to, we bought many books to help him understand.  These are what we found to be the best books for when he was young and when he was older.

The Best Books to Explain Death to Children

Best Books to Explain Death to Young Children

If you have young children, say three to five years old, these are the best books I can recommend based on personal experience.

What’s Heaven by Maria Shriver

Maria Shriver wrote this book when her grandmother, Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy, died and her children had questions about death.  The story does have a spiritual/religious element to it, but the book can truly be read by people of all faiths.

In the story, Kate’s great-grandmother has just died and her mother answers Kate’s many questions about Heaven.  I like the soft, dreamy feel of the illustrations.

Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley

This story doesn’t delve specifically into death but in missing the ones we love.  In Badger’s Parting Gifts, Badger is old and heads down the long tunnel.  His friends go to his house the next day and are sad that he is gone.  While they cry in the beginning, in the end, they reflect on all the things that Badger taught them to do such as skating across the ice and learn to tie a tie.  By the end of the book, all of Badger’s friends join together and share fond memories of Badger.

I Miss You: A First Look at Death by Pat Thomas

I Miss You is a book that we read over and over to our son.  This book is perfect for young children as it shares the feelings, including guilt and sadness, that people may feel after a loss.  It also explains how the child may behave, such as withdrawing from others, and the awkwardness that others may feel, and how they may avoid the person who has suffered a loss.

God Gave Us Heaven by Lisa Tawn Bergren and Laura J. Bryant

God Gave Us Heaven comes from a Christian place.  This book explains that people die and go to Heaven.  The book promises that no matter what pain and suffering we have in life, there will be no more of that in Heaven.  This book has young polar bears asking their parents about Heaven, and they receive reassuring answers.

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst

The Invisible String doesn’t deal specifically with death.  Instead, the mom comforts her twins when they’re scared about a noise in the night.  She tells them that no one is ever alone because we’re all connected to the people we love with an invisible string.

While this book would provide comfort to a child dealing with the death of a loved one, it would also soothe little ones dealing with separation anxiety.

Best Books to Explain Death to Older Children

Even a few years after my brother’s death, my son still wanted to talk about it and process it, so we had books that we read to him then, too.  These books are good for ages six to twelve.

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D.

A family friend gave us The Fall of Freddy the Leaf, and I must confess, it made me cry.  The story is about Daniel and Freddie, two leaves on a large tree.  They grow together through the spring, the summer, and the fall.  When the leaves start to fall, Freddie asks Daniel what is happening.  Daniel explains about death, and Freddie is at first angry.  He wants to know what is the point of life if they just have to die.  Daniel patiently answers Freddie’s questions before Daniel slips gently from the tree branch.

By the end of the story, Freddie is the last leaf, and as he finally falls from the tree, he is at peace and understands his reason for living.

When Dinosaurs Die by Laurie Krasny Brown and Mark Brown

One of the co-authors of this book is Mark Brown, the creator behind the kids’ show, Arthur, so kids will likely recognize the style of the illustrations.

There is no main character in this story.  Instead, the book explains what it means to be alive and what it means to die.  The author also explains why people die.  (Be warned, for young children, there are deaths from drug overdose and suicide mentioned here.)

The book also explains what people may feel when their loved one dies and validates those feelings.  The authors also suggest ways to deal with these feelings.  The book is mostly secular and discusses various burial rituals as well.

Maybe Dying Is Like Becoming a Butterfly by Pimm Van Hest

This book, recommended for 1st through 4th graders, is written by a psychologist.  The story itself is very comforting.  A young child asks his grandpa if he should catch a caterpillar.  Grandpa says no because it might die, which prompts the discussion about death.

For most of the story, grandpa answers Christopher’s questions, including if grandpa is scared to die.  By the end, Christopher decides that death is like a butterfly—maybe after death, there is something else like after a caterpillar is gone, there is a butterfly.

Parents might also enjoy that the last page of the book includes suggestions and tips for discussing death with children.

Final Thoughts

Dying is a part of life, but when death comes and children are too young to understand, explaining the concept can be difficult.  My son, at 3.5 years old, was too young to understand losing a loved one, but he got a better understanding through many of these best books to explain death to children.  Even though we’ve moved on from our loss, we still keep these books because they’ve become a beloved treasure to remind us of a difficult time.

Melissa Batai
Melissa Batai

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in Arizona where she dislikes the summer heat but loves the natural beauty of the area.

Filed Under: Books and Reading, Education, Parenting Blog at KidsAintCheap Tagged With: Books, books for children, Death

Seeing The Emotional Side of Our Children

April 6, 2011 | 2 Comments

Piglet

Photo by Soil-net.com

It has been a long week here. Hamilton the baby piglet has passed away due to a congenital problem. I received the phone call the other morning from my future son-in-law that something was wrong with “Hammy”. I jumped up and got dressed and my daughter was at work. We decided not to tell her right away because there was no need to upset her if it wasn’t serious.

The vet checked Hammy out and ran tests but sent us home to wait for the results. We told my daughter. Hammy was not getting better so we called the vet back and brought him back in. By the time he was rushed back the vet said to get him to Tufts Animal Hospital right away.

Death of a pet

To make a long story short I was home with my family and my daughter called me hysterical. Hamilton had passed away in her arms 15 minutes from the hospital. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help my daughter feel better. They went to the hospital because Kay had to know what happened and they told her it looked liked something he had been born with. They took Hammy home and asked if I wanted to be there for the burial. As you all know I helped raise him and I had to be there for the kids.

We are all still heartbroken. My daughter and her fiancé are still grieving. I received a phone call that night and this is exactly what was said to me, “Mom, I feel as though I have lost a baby and it shouldn’t hurt this bad.” My heart was so heavy and I was so frustrated because there was not ONE thing I could say to make her feel better.

Even her brothers ages 13 and 10 years were grieving. My 13-year-old son walked off on his own and just stared out at the river. He couldn’t deal with his sister and her fiancé actually crying. My 10-year-old son stayed close but I could tell he didn’t know what to do. He wanted so much to say something but had no clue what words to use.

When we left my daughters house and returned home we still needed to have dinner. My boys told me that they would give all of their money to K and C to help pay for the doctors for Hammy. My heart lurched again.

I have now learned that there are times when we will really have to watch our children hurt right from the core of their beings. And that there is nothing we can do to stop it but give them love and space.

Being a parent is so much work but seeing the love in my kids does make me so proud. RIP Hamilton, you will certainly always be in our hearts.

Have you ever experienced the death of a pet with children around?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Parenting, Pets Tagged With: Death, grieving, pets

Warning: When Explaining Things to Children; Think Before You Speak

March 11, 2011 | 4 Comments

When our betta fish dies, I had to explain it to my kids

Photo from DeviantArt

When our Betta fish – Nemo – died, I wasn’t really sure how to explain it to my then, 2 year old twins. While we were out, he had jumped from his bowl and plunged to his death. I was shocked and sad — but most of all I was afraid the boys would be inconsolable. They really loved that fish.

What to tell your children when a pet dies

They saw my shock (yes — I know it was a fish, but I love all my pets) and started to ask what happened to Nemo. The first thing I blurted out was, “Nemo must have gone home to visit his Mommy and Daddy.” At this point my husband looked at me and said something like, “Just tell them what happened.” I don’t like lying to my kids — but I felt like telling them the truth would steal some of their innocence. I knew he was right, so I had to retract my story, and tell them that Nemo had indeed died.

Of course, they didn’t know exactly what this meant so I said, “Nemo went to Heaven.” One of their grandfathers past away shortly after their 1st birthday.  We have always talked about their Papa being in Heaven with Jesus, so I knew they would sort of understand what I meant by that.

I remembered seeing a Cosby Show episode where Rudy’s goldfish died. The family gathered around the toilet, said some nice words and flushed it. That seemed like it might be a good idea. We took our sweet Nemo into the bathroom, said some nice words, told him good-bye and flushed him down the toilet. Before the lid even shut A. turned to me and said, “Can we get another Nemo?” That made me wonder why I had even bothered with my story in the first place. Lesson learned.

We did get another Betta, his name was James. Yes — I said was. He lived about a year and then passed away. I told the boys straight up what happened; he died, he’s in Heaven with Nemo and all of that. I flushed him on my own, since it seems as though I’m the only one in the family who cares when our fish die. In case you are wondering –  we did get a new Betta – his name is Firefish Sam.

All poop goes to heaven

So anyway — last summer I began potty training the boys. They were doing pretty well and N. was really getting the hang of pooping in the potty. One day – as I was emptying out his potty chair into the toilet – he turns to me and in all seriousness says “My poop go to Heaven with Nemo and James and Papa?”

Uh Oh! What had I done? Since that time, I have had to explain over and over that the toilet is not the gateway into Heaven. However, I’m not sure if they completely believe me.

It was funny. It totally caught me off guard. It made me realize just how important it is to think about what I am saying, before I attempt to explain things to the boys.

Oh – and when Firefish Sam dies – he’ll be buried; not flushed.

How have you explained death to your children?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Parenting, Pets, Random Musings Tagged With: Betta, Death, Goldfish, pets

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Basic Principles Of Good Parenting

Here some basic principles for good parenting:

  1. What You Do Matters: Your kids are watching you. So, be purposeful about what you want to accomplish.
  2. You Can’t be Too Loving: Don’t replace love with material possessions, lowered expectations or leniency.
  3. Be Involved Your Kids Life: Arrange your priorities to focus on what your kid’s needs. Be there mentally and physically.
  4. Adapt Your Parenting: Children grow quickly, so keep pace with your child’s development.
  5. Establish and Set Rules: The rules you set for children will establish the rules they set for themselves later.  Avoid harsh discipline and be consistent.
  6. Explain Your Decisions: What is obvious to you may not be evident to your child. They don’t have the experience you do.
  7. Be Respectful To Your Child: How you treat your child is how they will treat others.  Be polite, respectful and make an effort to pay attention.
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