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Is the ‘Cry It Out’ Method Cruel or Effective?

March 28, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Crying newborn baby (Japanese baby girl)
Image Source: 123rf.com

The debate over the ‘Cry It Out’ (CIO) method of sleep training has polarized parents and experts for years. This technique, which involves letting a baby cry for controlled periods to encourage self-soothing, has both ardent supporters and strong critics.

Advocates say CIO leads to better sleep patterns and improved parental well-being, while detractors worry about potential emotional harm to the infant. In this article, we delve into the research, benefits, and criticisms of the CIO method, offering insights to help you decide what’s best for your family. By understanding both sides of the debate, you can make an informed decision tailored to your child’s needs.

Understanding the CIO Method

The Cry It Out method involves allowing a baby to cry for set intervals before offering comfort. This approach is based on the idea that babies will eventually learn to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own. Proponents point to studies showing that CIO can improve sleep duration and quality for both infants and parents. It is typically recommended to begin this method when a baby is between 4 and 6 months old. Experts stress that consistency and a gradual increase in waiting time are key elements for success.

Benefits Reported by Advocates

Many parents report that CIO significantly improves sleep patterns, benefiting both the child and the entire family. Better sleep can lead to improved mood, increased energy, and reduced stress levels for parents. Some studies indicate that sleep training methods like CIO do not have long-term negative effects on emotional development. The quick results achieved by this method are often cited as a major advantage. Additionally, a well-rested baby can be more alert and content during waking hours, contributing to overall development.

Criticisms and Concerns

Critics of the CIO method argue that allowing a baby to cry without immediate comfort can cause emotional distress. Some worry that prolonged crying may lead to elevated stress hormone levels in infants. There are concerns about potential impacts on the child’s attachment and trust with caregivers. Parents who are uncomfortable with listening to their baby cry may find the method emotionally challenging. These concerns have led some experts to recommend gentler sleep training alternatives that focus on gradual soothing.

Alternative Sleep Training Methods

Sleeping Baby
Image Source: 123rf.com

For parents seeking less stressful alternatives, several gentler sleep training methods are available. The Pick-Up/Put-Down method involves comforting the baby before returning them to their crib, gradually reducing the need for intervention. The Chair Method allows parents to remain present while slowly distancing themselves over time. Gradual extinction methods help minimize crying while still promoting independent sleep. Each alternative offers a different balance between parental involvement and fostering self-soothing skills.

What Research Tells Us

Scientific studies on the CIO method present mixed findings, with some showing no long-term negative effects and others urging caution. Research published in reputable journals indicates that, when implemented correctly, CIO does not harm the parent-child bond. However, the variability in individual child temperament means that one method may work well for some but not for others. It is important to review multiple studies and consider your child’s unique needs. Informed decision-making requires balancing empirical evidence with your parental instincts.

Making the Best Decision for Your Family

Ultimately, choosing a sleep training method should be based on your child’s temperament and your comfort level as a parent. Reflect on your family’s values, your baby’s responses, and your own emotional well-being. Consulting with your pediatrician can provide personalized advice tailored to your situation. It is also helpful to speak with other parents who have tried different methods. The goal is to ensure a restful night for everyone without compromising the emotional health of your baby.

Have you tried the Cry It Out method, or do you prefer a gentler approach? What challenges have you faced in establishing a sleep routine for your baby? Share your experiences, tips, and questions in the comments below to help other parents navigate this challenging decision.

Read More:

When A Child Bumps Their Head to Go to Sleep, Here’s What It Means

Doctors Swear by These 7 Baby Sleep Hacks—And They Actually Work

Tamila McDonald
Tamila McDonald

Tamila McDonald is a U.S. Army veteran with 20 years of service, including five years as a military financial advisor. After retiring from the Army, she spent eight years as an AFCPE-certified personal financial advisor for wounded warriors and their families. Now she writes about personal finance and benefits programs for numerous financial websites.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: baby sleep, Childcare, Cry It Out, infant sleep, parenting methods, sleep training

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Basic Principles Of Good Parenting

Here some basic principles for good parenting:

  1. What You Do Matters: Your kids are watching you. So, be purposeful about what you want to accomplish.
  2. You Can’t be Too Loving: Don’t replace love with material possessions, lowered expectations or leniency.
  3. Be Involved Your Kids Life: Arrange your priorities to focus on what your kid’s needs. Be there mentally and physically.
  4. Adapt Your Parenting: Children grow quickly, so keep pace with your child’s development.
  5. Establish and Set Rules: The rules you set for children will establish the rules they set for themselves later.  Avoid harsh discipline and be consistent.
  6. Explain Your Decisions: What is obvious to you may not be evident to your child. They don’t have the experience you do.
  7. Be Respectful To Your Child: How you treat your child is how they will treat others.  Be polite, respectful and make an effort to pay attention.
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Using Private Browsing Modes Most browsers offer “incognito” or private browsing features. Kids use this mode to access websites without leaving a record in the history. To parents checking later, everything looks clean and safe. This simple trick is often one of the first ways kids discover how to bypass restrictions. Conversations about private browsing can help close this gap. 4. Guessing or Resetting Passwords Children who are persistent may try to guess passwords to parental control apps or accounts. Others may find ways to reset them through email prompts or security questions. Once inside, they can disable restrictions entirely. Parents may not even realize controls have been altered until much later. Stronger, less predictable passwords can make this more difficult. 5. Using VPNs to Hide Activity Virtual private networks, or VPNs, let kids disguise their online locations. With one downloaded app, they can bypass geographic or parental restrictions. Some children learn about VPNs through friends or even social media. This makes it easy for them to reach content that should be blocked. Parents often underestimate just how simple it is for kids to use these tools. 6. Creating Fake Accounts When parents monitor social media, kids may create hidden accounts. These “finstas” or fake profiles allow them to interact freely without parental oversight. While their main account appears harmless, the secondary one tells a different story. Kids are outsmarting parental controls by playing both sides at once. Checking for duplicate accounts can help parents stay more aware. 7. Exploiting Time Zone Settings Some kids change the time zone on their devices to bypass screen time limits. This trick allows them to gain extra hours of usage undetected. Parents may assume controls are working, but in reality, the child is bending the clock. It’s a clever loophole that highlights just how resourceful kids can be. Monitoring device settings regularly can catch this tactic. 8. Disabling or Uninstalling Apps Parental control apps can be deleted or disabled with surprising ease. Some kids even reinstall them before a parent checks, making it seem like nothing changed. Others may simply restrict permissions to prevent apps from functioning properly. When apps aren’t monitored closely, parents may not notice they’ve been tampered with. This shows the importance of consistent follow-up. 9. Turning to Friends for Access If a child can’t get past restrictions on their own, they may rely on friends. Visiting a friend’s house or borrowing their phone can give them a free pass. Parents often forget that peer environments can override restrictions set at home. This kind of social workaround is especially common with gaming or social media. Open conversations about trust and responsibility are essential. 10. Hiding Apps in Plain Sight Kids sometimes download apps that look innocent but serve as gateways to hidden activity. These apps may disguise themselves as calculators or utilities. In reality, they allow file storage, private messaging, or browser access. Parents glancing at a home screen may overlook them entirely. Learning to recognize these disguised apps can help parents stay informed. 11. Outpacing Parents’ Tech Knowledge Finally, kids often know more about devices than their parents do. Whether through YouTube tutorials, TikTok hacks, or peer groups, they quickly learn advanced workarounds. This knowledge gap means controls can be bypassed before parents even realize the loophole exists. Staying informed and continually learning about new technology is the best defense. Kids are outsmarting parental controls because they adapt faster than most adults. The Real Solution Lies Beyond Restrictions While controls and filters are important, no system is perfect. Kids will always find creative ways around barriers, making communication the strongest safeguard. Setting clear expectations, building trust, and having ongoing conversations about online behavior matter more than apps alone. Parents who combine technology with open dialogue create a safer digital environment. The goal isn’t to win a battle of wits but to build a relationship that keeps kids both safe and honest. Do you think kids are outsmarting parental controls faster than parents can keep up? Share your experiences in the comments below. What to Read Next... 6 Parenting Tech Shortcuts That Can Expose Your Child to Strangers How Much Screen Time Is Too Much—Legally Speaking? Is Your Child’s School Quietly Tracking Their Location Without Your Consent? How Much Screen Time Is Quietly Reshaping Childhood Behavior? Why Some Parents Are Being Investigated Over Homeschooling Records

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