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Is It Appropriate to Bribe Children for Good Behavior?

March 26, 2025 | Leave a Comment

appropriate to bribe children

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Every parent has been in a situation where they’ve offered a quick reward to stop a tantrum or encourage good behavior. While it might seem like a harmless fix, using material incentives can have long-term consequences on a child’s development. The line between positive reinforcement and outright bribery is often blurred. In this article, we examine whether offering rewards for good behavior helps or hinders your child’s growth. We aim to provide insights that empower you to make the best choices for fostering lasting behavior.

Understanding the Difference Between Bribes and Rewards

It’s crucial to distinguish between bribes and rewards. Bribes are typically offered as a quick fix to stop misbehavior, while rewards are given after positive behavior to reinforce it. Timing and intention set them apart—bribes are reactive, rewards are proactive. Children who receive bribes may start expecting incentives for basic tasks. A thoughtful reward system, in contrast, builds intrinsic motivation over time.

The Impact on Intrinsic Motivation

Heavy reliance on external rewards can erode a child’s intrinsic motivation to behave well. When children expect treats for every good action, they may struggle to develop internal standards. This dependency can undermine their ability to self-regulate and take responsibility. Over time, their behavior becomes transactional rather than genuine. Building intrinsic motivation is key to long-term self-discipline.

Short-Term Gains vs. Long-Term Consequences

While bribes might yield immediate compliance, they rarely instill lasting values. The short-term satisfaction of receiving a treat can mask the potential long-term drawbacks. Children may come to expect a reward every time, undermining their ability to act appropriately without external incentives. This approach risks creating a pattern where behavior is only acceptable if a reward is offered. Sustainable discipline should cultivate habits that persist without material rewards.

Alternatives to Bribery

Instead of relying on bribes, consider using praise, recognition, and logical consequences. Positive reinforcement, when given consistently, can encourage desirable behavior without fostering dependency. Setting clear expectations and providing consistent feedback is a more effective strategy. Encouraging children to understand the benefits of good behavior builds intrinsic motivation. These alternatives help develop self-discipline and a genuine sense of responsibility.

Discipline or Deal-Making?

appropriate to bribe children

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While offering rewards can sometimes help in the heat of the moment, over-reliance on bribes may lead to unintended long-term consequences. True discipline involves teaching children the value of doing the right thing for its own sake, not just for a treat. By fostering intrinsic motivation through consistent communication and support, parents can help children build strong, internal value systems. The ultimate goal is to nurture independent, responsible behavior.

Have you ever struggled with the fine line between bribery and positive reinforcement? Share your experiences in the comments!

Read More:

The Best Money Lessons Kids Learn From Chores

5 Chores That Teach Work Ethic Principles to Toddlers

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: behavior management, bribery, child discipline, parenting advice, Rewards

Year-round Money Saving and Fun Activites for Parents and Kids

November 3, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Arts & crafts are just one money saving family activityMore and more parents are having to work harder to make that extra buck so not only is saving money a concern but also making sure the time you have to spend with your family is maximized. As a parent, I am constantly challenged to find interesting and cost-effective ways to have fun with the kids. This can be tough considering how technology makes it tempting to spend and use expensive outlets for fun. All is not lost though as there are still lots of ways to spend qulity time with the kids and save at the same time

Here are some year-round activities you can engage in that won’t burn a hole in your pocket.

For the indoors:

1. You can build your kids’ creativity and imagination by creating an art wall that can display artwork made all times of the year. First, allocate a part of the wall in your kids room for this. Mark it off by sticking letter cut-outs of thier names. You can make this from old magazines or use stencils to cut out handy art paper. Have your kids join the fun by having them sitck their names themselves. This can be educational too! Next, have them draw anything they want to display on the wall. It can be a drawing of your family, a cartoon character, a lesson in school, the ideas are limitless. And you can recycle these works of art to keep it fresh.

2. Have a rewards chart that you can make a household activity fun and a lesson at the same time. You can use old cardboard and markers to create a billboard that you can prop on the side, hang on the wall, or stick near your art center. Take a photo of each child and place it on the top and bottom or left and right side of the chart. Decorate the chart sides to match the personalities of each child. You can again use handy art material or old magazines. Every day, set aside times where you have them do easy chores like fixing their toys, or cleaning their room. Activities done successfully can be rewarded by a star or a picture tacked to the chart. At the end of the week you will have collected a number of markers. Set a limit and make this limit rewardable with a favorite snack or a favorite show or a favorite outdoor activity. Your kids learn how to be responsible, you have fun with them while doing chores, and you save money.

For the outdoors:

You can extend the rewards to the outside and make these money saving activities as well by choosing the places you visit.

1. You can have a picnic in the park on nice, sunny days. You have full control over what food you bring and the kids have access to a free playground.

2. You can visit the bookstore and take advantage of the kids section which allows free reading of kids books.

3. You can go to the local indoor pool for cold and overcast days and have a small swimming party.

4. And, if you really want to keep it simple, and multi-purpose, you can go grocery shopping and make it an adventure by having your kids help choose your grocery items. They will learn all about “good” food and how to budget as well. My kids love our Saturday afternoon grocery trips.

Remember that kids don’t mind simple activities as long as they are able to spend fun, quality-time with you. So saving and being with your kids need not be opposing activities.

Make the most of the simple things offered out there and you can’t go wrong!

What cheap and fun activities do you do with your kids?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Money and Finances, Stuff to Do Tagged With: Bookstore, Creativity, Fun Activities, Indoors, Money Saving Activities, Outdoors, picnic, Pool, Rewards, Shopping

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Basic Principles Of Good Parenting

Here some basic principles for good parenting:

  1. What You Do Matters: Your kids are watching you. So, be purposeful about what you want to accomplish.
  2. You Can’t be Too Loving: Don’t replace love with material possessions, lowered expectations or leniency.
  3. Be Involved Your Kids Life: Arrange your priorities to focus on what your kid’s needs. Be there mentally and physically.
  4. Adapt Your Parenting: Children grow quickly, so keep pace with your child’s development.
  5. Establish and Set Rules: The rules you set for children will establish the rules they set for themselves later.  Avoid harsh discipline and be consistent.
  6. Explain Your Decisions: What is obvious to you may not be evident to your child. They don’t have the experience you do.
  7. Be Respectful To Your Child: How you treat your child is how they will treat others.  Be polite, respectful and make an effort to pay attention.
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