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7 Ways Grandparents Are Making Parenting Harder—Without Knowing It

August 23, 2025 | Leave a Comment

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Grandparents are often a blessing in family life, offering love, support, and a special bond with their grandchildren. Yet sometimes, without realizing it, they make things harder for parents who are trying to juggle routines, discipline, and modern parenting challenges. Their intentions are usually good, but their choices can unintentionally create stress, confusion, or even tension within the family. From spoiling kids a little too much to undermining household rules, these issues can sneak in quickly. Here are seven ways grandparents may be making parenting harder without even knowing it.

1. Undermining Parenting Rules

Grandparents sometimes relax the rules set by parents, thinking it won’t matter for just one visit. Whether it’s sneaking extra dessert or letting bedtime slide, these moments can add up. Children quickly notice when grandparents allow things parents don’t, which creates confusion and frustration. Parents often feel undermined when their authority isn’t supported consistently. While grandparents see it as harmless fun, it can complicate discipline and routines at home.

2. Overindulging With Gifts and Treats

Giving generously is one way grandparents show love, but it can backfire when kids expect constant treats. The piles of toys, sweets, or surprises may create unrealistic expectations and entitlement. Parents often struggle to teach gratitude and moderation when excess becomes the norm. Grandparents may not realize that overindulgence can make daily parenting harder. Balancing generosity with boundaries helps kids appreciate special moments without overdoing it.

3. Criticizing Parenting Choices

Even with the best intentions, grandparents sometimes voice opinions that come across as criticism. Whether it’s about feeding choices, screen time, or discipline methods, these comments can sting. Parents may already feel unsure and don’t need added doubt from those they love. Grandparents often forget that parenting approaches evolve over time. Support and encouragement go much further than unsolicited advice or critiques.

4. Ignoring Modern Safety Guidelines

Many grandparents raised children at a time when safety recommendations were very different. From crib setups to car seat rules, guidelines have changed significantly in recent decades. Some grandparents dismiss these updates as unnecessary, not realizing the risks. Parents then feel anxious when their children aren’t cared for according to current standards. Respecting modern safety advice helps ease tensions and ensures kids stay protected.

5. Playing Favorites Among Siblings

Grandparents may bond more strongly with one grandchild, often unintentionally. This can create sibling rivalries when children notice unequal attention or affection. Parents then have to manage feelings of jealousy and competition at home. Even subtle favoritism can hurt, especially when children are sensitive to fairness. Awareness and balanced attention go a long way toward preventing these issues.

6. Overstepping in Daily Routines

Grandparents sometimes jump in to handle tasks like feeding, dressing, or discipline, thinking they’re helping. While the intention is good, parents may feel their role is being overshadowed. Children also become confused when authority seems split between parents and grandparents. Clear boundaries help ensure everyone knows their role in caregiving. Without them, daily routines can become unnecessarily complicated.

7. Resisting the Parents’ Boundaries

Sometimes grandparents simply don’t agree with a household boundary, whether it’s about technology, diet, or discipline. Instead of supporting the rule, they quietly sidestep it when watching the kids. Parents then face the difficult task of re-establishing boundaries that were ignored. This creates tension between the adults and confusion for the children. Respecting limits set by parents keeps family relationships healthier and stronger.

Building Stronger Family Connections Together

Grandparents are an important part of children’s lives, and their love is never in question. Still, when grandparents unintentionally make parenting harder, it can strain family relationships. Open conversations about expectations, rules, and boundaries help everyone stay on the same page. Respecting parenting choices doesn’t diminish a grandparent’s role—it strengthens it by showing unity. Families thrive when love and respect work hand in hand across generations.

Have you experienced situations where grandparents made parenting harder? Share your stories and insights in the comments below.

How Grandparents Can Undermine Kids’ Responsibility—And What You Can Do About It

Catherine Reed

Catherine is a tech-savvy writer who has focused on the personal finance space for more than eight years. She has a Bachelor’s in Information Technology and enjoys showcasing how tech can simplify everyday personal finance tasks like budgeting, spending tracking, and planning for the future. Additionally, she’s explored the ins and outs of the world of side hustles and loves to share what she’s learned along the way. When she’s not working, you can find her relaxing at home in the Pacific Northwest with her two cats or enjoying a cup of coffee at her neighborhood cafe.

What Are You Legally Responsible For If Your Child Bullies Someone?

August 10, 2025 | Leave a Comment

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It’s a scenario no parent wants to face—your child has been accused of bullying another kid. As you process the emotional weight of the situation, you may also start wondering about something more concrete: are you legally on the hook for their actions? Understanding what you are legally responsible for if your child bullies someone isn’t just important for protecting yourself, but also for making informed parenting decisions. The legal and financial consequences can vary by state, but in many cases, parents can be held accountable for the behavior of their children. Let’s break down the potential liabilities and what you need to know to protect both your child and your family.

1. Civil Liability for Damages

One of the most common concerns parents face is whether they can be sued if their child causes harm. In cases of bullying, if a child causes emotional distress, physical injury, or property damage, the victim’s family may take civil action. Some states have parental responsibility laws that hold parents financially accountable for damages caused by a minor’s intentional actions. This could mean paying for medical bills, therapy, or even replacing damaged belongings. Understanding what you are legally responsible for if your child bullies someone can help you avoid financial surprises down the line.

2. School-Based Legal Consequences

While schools are primarily responsible for addressing bullying within their walls, they may take legal steps if parents are uncooperative. Some school districts enforce truancy or neglect laws when parents fail to take action to correct a child’s repeated harmful behavior. If bullying violates school policy and your child is suspended or expelled, you could be called into legal hearings or required to attend counseling sessions. In extreme cases, schools may involve juvenile courts. It’s crucial to stay informed and work with school officials if your child is accused of bullying.

3. Criminal Charges Against Parents (Yes, It Happens)

Though rare, some jurisdictions have begun exploring laws that hold parents criminally liable when they ignore or encourage their child’s bullying. These laws are typically aimed at severe, repeated offenses that result in lasting harm. Criminal charges might range from misdemeanors like contributing to the delinquency of a minor to more serious negligence-related offenses. If prosecutors believe a parent knowingly allowed harmful behavior to continue, legal action could be taken. Staying involved and proactive is the best way to prevent these worst-case scenarios.

4. Cyberbullying and Online Harassment Laws

Digital bullying can be harder to monitor, but it’s increasingly covered under state-specific cyberbullying laws. If your child uses phones, apps, or social media to harass or threaten another child, you could face legal consequences depending on your local laws. Some states include parents in liability if they fail to monitor or limit their child’s internet usage or devices. Understanding what you are legally responsible for if your child bullies someone also includes staying aware of what happens online. Keeping tabs on digital behavior is a modern parenting must.

5. Court-Ordered Parental Education or Counseling

In some bullying-related legal cases, judges may order parents to participate in parenting classes, counseling, or mediation. These aren’t punishments in the traditional sense, but they are legal obligations you’re required to fulfill. Failure to comply can result in fines, additional court appearances, or even contempt charges. Courts may view these programs as an opportunity to improve parenting skills and repair family dynamics. Taking these orders seriously shows you’re committed to making meaningful changes.

6. Your Insurance May or May Not Cover It

If your child’s bullying results in a civil lawsuit, your homeowners or renters insurance may help cover legal costs or damages—but don’t count on it. Many policies exclude intentional acts or actions deemed criminal, which bullying often qualifies as. If your child’s behavior results in serious harm and a lawsuit follows, you may be paying out of pocket. Before trouble strikes, check with your insurance provider to understand what’s covered. Knowing your policy could save you major financial stress later.

Taking Accountability Seriously Can Make All the Difference

While it may feel overwhelming to learn what you are legally responsible for if your child bullies someone, staying informed is a powerful step toward preventing long-term damage. The more involved you are in your child’s behavior—both online and offline—the more likely you are to correct harmful actions early. Open communication, early intervention, and consistent consequences at home can help shift a child’s behavior before the legal system ever gets involved. Responsibility doesn’t just mean responding when something goes wrong—it means guiding your child with empathy and accountability every step of the way. When you take bullying seriously, your child is far more likely to as well.

Have you ever had to address your child’s behavior toward others? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments, and let’s support each other through tough parenting moments.

No Respect? 13 Ways to Recognize Disrespectful Behavior in Kids

Catherine Reed

Beyond The Report Card: 11 Discipline Methods That Secretly Backfire On Parents

July 27, 2025 | Leave a Comment

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When your child misbehaves, your instinct is to correct it—and quickly. But not all discipline strategies work the way we think they will. In fact, some common approaches actually make things worse, leading to more frustration, not less. Even if the behavior changes temporarily, the long-term impact on your child’s emotional development and your relationship with them can be serious. Before you double down on a tactic that “used to work,” it’s worth examining the discipline methods that secretly backfire on parents.

1. Yelling to Get Attention

Raising your voice might seem like the fastest way to get your child to listen, but it often teaches them to tune you out. Over time, yelling becomes background noise or triggers fear instead of respect. Kids may also model this behavior and start yelling themselves when they’re upset. Rather than improving discipline, it can create a louder, more reactive household. This is one of the discipline methods that secretly backfire on parents by turning communication into chaos.

2. Public Shaming or Embarrassment

Correcting your child in front of others—especially in a humiliating way—can damage trust and self-esteem. While it might get instant compliance, it doesn’t teach lasting lessons. Kids often focus on the embarrassment rather than the behavior, which builds resentment instead of understanding. Public scolding can also lead to social anxiety or withdrawal. A better approach is to address the behavior privately and respectfully.

3. Taking Away Everything

Some parents try to discipline by removing all privileges at once—no TV, no toys, no outings. But when kids feel like everything is gone, they have no incentive to behave better. This approach can cause them to shut down emotionally or lash out more. It also makes it harder to rebuild positive behavior because the goalposts feel impossible to reach. Discipline works best when consequences are specific and manageable.

4. Overusing Time-Outs

Time-outs are a popular go-to, but using them too frequently or without explanation can backfire. Kids often sit in time-out without understanding what they did wrong or how to do better. This method can also become more about isolation than reflection, especially for younger children. Overuse may even cause a child to seek attention through bad behavior just to break the boredom. For time-outs to work, they need to be paired with follow-up conversations and consistent expectations.

5. Bribing for Good Behavior

Offering a treat or toy every time your child behaves well might seem effective at first. But this turns behavior into a transaction, not a value. Kids can become reward-dependent and expect something every time they follow the rules. Over time, this method loses its power and can even lead to entitlement. One of the most misunderstood discipline methods that secretly backfires on parents is mistaking bribery for motivation.

6. Comparing Siblings or Friends

Telling your child they should act more like their brother or a classmate might seem like motivation, but it often creates insecurity. Comparisons send the message that your love or approval is conditional. Instead of helping, it can damage sibling relationships and make kids feel they’re never good enough. This can lower self-confidence and create long-term resentment. Focus on individual progress, not performance in comparison to others.

7. Expecting Instant Obedience

While it’s natural to want kids to listen right away, demanding immediate compliance can set unrealistic standards. Children need time to process, ask questions, and sometimes even push back respectfully. When you expect robotic obedience, you miss chances to teach critical thinking and emotional regulation. Power struggles often grow when kids feel they aren’t being heard. Patience doesn’t mean permissiveness—it means teaching with respect.

8. Punishing Instead of Teaching

If discipline is only about consequences and not learning, it doesn’t produce long-term change. Simply punishing a child without explaining the reasoning behind it creates confusion and fear. Kids might behave to avoid punishment, not because they understand what’s right. Teaching involves guiding behavior, setting clear boundaries, and modeling positive alternatives. Discipline that lacks instruction is one of the most common discipline methods that secretly backfires on parents.

9. Being Inconsistent With Rules

Changing the rules or consequences based on your mood or situation teaches kids that boundaries are flexible. Inconsistent discipline confuses children and makes it harder for them to learn accountability. They may test limits more often to see what they can get away with. Consistency builds security, while unpredictability leads to anxiety and misbehavior. Sticking to your word, even when it’s inconvenient, reinforces trust.

10. Ignoring Good Behavior

It’s easy to focus on what your child is doing wrong, but that means you may miss chances to reinforce what they’re doing right. Ignoring positive actions teaches kids that the only way to get their attention is by acting out. Celebrating kindness, effort, and responsibility encourages more of the same. Positive reinforcement doesn’t mean spoiling—it means noticing. Discipline should involve just as much praise as correction.

11. Using Guilt as a Tool

Telling your child that they’ve disappointed you or made you sad can seem like a softer discipline method—but it’s still harmful. Guilt-based parenting can make kids feel responsible for their emotions, which leads to shame and emotional confusion. Over time, they may stop sharing honestly for fear of upsetting you. Healthy discipline separates behavior from worth and emphasizes learning, not blame. Emotional manipulation is subtle, but it’s one of the discipline methods that secretly backfires on parents the most.

Rethinking What “Works” Long-Term

When discipline feels like a battle, it’s tempting to rely on what gets fast results. But the real test of discipline is not whether it controls your child in the moment—it’s whether it teaches them how to grow. Many of the most common discipline methods that secretly backfire on parents seem helpful on the surface, but don’t build connection, trust, or understanding. The most powerful parenting tools are respect, consistency, and open communication. Instead of just reacting, take a moment to ask yourself: Is this helping my child become the person I hope they’ll be?

Have you ever used a discipline method that backfired on you? What did you learn from the experience? Let’s talk in the comments!

The Discipline Mistakes That Actually Make Kids Behave Worse

Catherine Reed

Don’t Do This: 5 Phrases You Say To Your Toddler Encouraging Bad Behavior

July 22, 2025 | Leave a Comment

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Toddlers are curious, emotional, and incredibly impressionable, which means the way we talk to them matters more than we think. Some of the most common phrases you say to your toddler—the ones that seem harmless or even helpful—can actually encourage the very behavior you’re trying to avoid. Words shape how young children understand expectations, boundaries, and relationships. Without realizing it, your well-meaning comments might be confusing, dismissive, or accidentally reinforcing bad behavior. Here are five common phrases to rethink and what to say instead for better behavior and communication.

1. “Be a good boy/girl or else…”

This phrase might sound like it sets a clear expectation, but it actually ties behavior to self-worth. When you use “be good or else,” you’re suggesting your child’s value depends on their actions in that moment. That pressure can make toddlers feel ashamed when they mess up, and they likely will—they’re still learning. Plus, vague threats like “or else” don’t clearly teach what behavior is expected. Instead of using this as a motivator, try “Please use your calm voice so we can all hear each other” or “Let’s take a deep breath and try again.”

2. “You’re making me sad/mad.”

It’s natural to feel emotional when your toddler pushes boundaries, but this phrase shifts the responsibility for your feelings onto your child. That can create guilt or anxiety in toddlers who aren’t emotionally mature enough to manage their own behavior and yours. One of the sneakiest phrases you say to your toddler that encourages bad behavior is one that teaches them emotional manipulation—whether you mean it or not. A better approach is to model healthy communication: “I feel frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a break and calm down.” This teaches them how to express emotions without assigning blame.

3. “Why did you do that?”

When your toddler throws a toy, dumps out cereal, or colors on the wall, asking “Why did you do that?” puts them on the spot. At this age, they often don’t know why—they act on impulse, not logic. This question usually leads to defensiveness or a shrug, instead of reflection. It’s one of the phrases you say to your toddler that can create shame without offering guidance. Try something like, “It looks like you were frustrated. Let’s talk about what we can do next time instead of throwing.” That way, you acknowledge the feeling but focus on solutions.

4. “You’re fine.”

When your toddler falls, cries, or panics over something small, it’s easy to say, “You’re fine” in an attempt to soothe them quickly. But to your toddler, their feelings are not fine—they’re big, scary, and very real. This phrase teaches kids to ignore their emotions, which can lead to bottling things up or acting out in other ways. One of the most dismissive phrases you say to your toddler is often used with the best intentions. A better response is, “That looked like it hurt. Do you want a hug or a moment to sit down?” This validates their feelings while still providing reassurance.

5. “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”

This old-school phrase might still be floating around in moments of frustration, but it doesn’t teach empathy or self-control. It threatens punishment for expressing emotions and can increase fear, confusion, or resistance. It’s a power-based statement that actually fuels the kind of bad behavior you’re hoping to stop. Among the phrases you say to your toddler that encourage bad behavior, this one stands out for promoting emotional suppression. Instead, try saying, “It’s okay to cry. Let’s sit together until you feel better.” Supporting emotional expression leads to calmer behavior in the long run.

What You Say Teaches How They Respond

Words stick. The phrases you say to your toddler don’t just fill the space—they shape your child’s view of themselves and the world around them. You don’t have to be perfect, but being mindful of your language can change the tone of your home and help prevent unwanted behavior. Toddlers need clarity, empathy, and guidance more than anything else. With a few tweaks to your everyday language, you’ll be surprised how much more your child listens, cooperates, and trusts you to help them grow.

Have you caught yourself using any of these phrases? What swaps have helped your toddler respond better? Share your experiences in the comments!

8 Tiny Phrases That Build Big Confidence in Kids

Catherine Reed

12 Old-School Parenting Tricks That Still Work Today

June 8, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Modern parenting comes with apps, parenting blogs, digital behavior charts, and more advice than any human can process. But ask around, and you’ll find many of today’s parents are still leaning on tried-and-true strategies that have been passed down for generations. Some parenting approaches don’t need a tech upgrade—they’re just that good. These classic methods may feel “old-school,” but their effectiveness stands the test of time. Here are 12 old-school parenting tricks that still work today, even in a world of smart devices and social media.

1. Early Bedtimes Are Golden

Back in the day, kids were in bed before the streetlights flickered on—and for good reason. Consistent, early bedtimes help children get the rest their growing brains and bodies desperately need. They also give parents a much-needed break to recharge. Even with today’s packed schedules, this old-school parenting trick helps prevent meltdowns and improves overall behavior. Sleep routines are timeless, and this one is worth preserving.

2. Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

Parents used to stick to their word, and kids knew better than to test the limits. Consistent follow-through teaches kids accountability and respect for boundaries. When you say, “If you don’t clean your room, you won’t get screen time,” the follow-through matters more than the threat. This old-school parenting trick helps avoid power struggles because expectations are clear. Kids thrive when the rules are steady, not shifting depending on moods or guilt.

3. Let Them Be Bored

Once upon a time, boredom wasn’t seen as a problem—it was fuel for creativity. Parents didn’t feel the need to entertain their children 24/7. Letting kids be bored encourages them to explore, invent, and build imagination. It also teaches patience and problem-solving. This old-school parenting trick still works wonders for raising independent thinkers.

4. Chores Build Character

Handing kids a broom or giving them dish duty was a rite of passage in many households. Chores help children feel responsible, capable, and part of the family team. They also teach the value of work and that everyone contributes. Today’s chore charts may be fancier, but the message behind them is just as important. This old-school parenting trick creates pride and a sense of ownership.

5. Eat Dinner Together

No phones, no TV—just family around a table. Family dinners used to be the norm, and they helped strengthen bonds, improve communication, and model manners. Even if it’s not every night, prioritizing meals together gives kids a sense of routine and connection. This old-school parenting trick is simple but powerful. The conversations that happen over mashed potatoes matter more than you think.

6. Natural Consequences Teach Best

Parents didn’t hover to prevent every minor mistake. Instead, they let kids face the natural results of their actions, like forgetting homework and dealing with the teacher’s response. This approach teaches accountability and resilience. When consequences aren’t artificially imposed but naturally occurring, kids learn faster and with less drama. It’s one of the most effective old-school parenting tricks around.

7. Respect Was a Two-Way Street

Old-school parenting had its stern moments, but many parents also modeled the respect they wanted in return. Saying “please,” “thank you,” and listening without interrupting were all expected—not just from kids, but from grown-ups too. Mutual respect fosters trust and better communication. This timeless approach helps raise polite, empathetic kids. It’s an old-school parenting trick that never goes out of style.

8. Outdoor Play Solves Almost Everything

Before screens took over, the cure for everything from grumpiness to excess energy was “Go outside and play.” Fresh air, physical activity, and a break from structured time work wonders for a child’s mood and focus. Outdoor play encourages exploration, confidence, and social skills. If you need a reset button, this old-school parenting trick still delivers. Sometimes, the backyard is better than any app.

9. Less Talking, More Doing

Back in the day, parents didn’t over-explain every rule. They gave clear instructions and expected action. While it’s important to teach reasoning, modern parenting often leans too heavily on lengthy lectures. Keeping communication simple and direct can actually reduce confusion and defiance. This old-school parenting trick reinforces authority without being authoritarian.

10. Keep It Simple

Old-school parenting often meant fewer toys, fewer rules, and less fuss. The simplicity helped kids focus on what truly mattered: time with family, creative play, and consistent values. Today, simplifying your parenting style can reduce stress for both you and your child. When life feels overwhelming, this old-school parenting trick reminds us that less really can be more.

11. Make Room for Unstructured Time

Schedules didn’t run every waking hour decades ago. Kids had free time to explore, build, rest, and play at their own pace. That kind of downtime is where confidence and self-direction often develop. Even today, unstructured time is essential for healthy development. This old-school parenting trick supports emotional balance and creative growth.

12. Lead by Example

Our parents taught us that actions speak louder than words—and they were right. Kids watch more than they listen, so your behavior is their blueprint. Whether it’s how you treat others, handle stress, or solve problems, you’re showing them what adulthood looks like. This old-school parenting trick may be the most important of all. The best lessons aren’t spoken—they’re lived.

Old Tricks, Timeless Impact

You don’t need every modern parenting gadget to raise a confident, respectful, and resilient child. Sometimes, the best strategies are the ones passed down from your own parents and grandparents. These old-school parenting tricks may seem simple, but their power lies in consistency, connection, and common sense. Don’t be afraid to blend tradition with your own style—you might just find the sweet spot.

What’s an old-school parenting trick you still use today? Share your go-to classic strategies in the comments!

Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me These Parenting Shortcuts Exist?!

Catherine Reed

10 Ways Parents Accidentally Teach Kids to Be Cruel

June 5, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Most parents want to raise kind, compassionate children—but sometimes, without realizing it, they model behaviors that do just the opposite. Cruelty in kids doesn’t always come from playground bullies or bad influences; it can start at home, subtly and unintentionally. From the way adults react to stress, to the words they use when frustrated, kids are constantly learning what’s acceptable. If we’re not careful, we may teach kids to be cruel by normalizing sarcasm, disrespect, or exclusion in everyday life. Here are ten surprising ways parents may be sending the wrong message, along with tips for course-correcting with intention.

1. Laughing at Someone Else’s Misfortune

It might seem harmless to chuckle at a silly fail video or joke about a neighbor’s bad luck, but kids are watching—and absorbing the message. When parents treat someone’s pain as entertainment, they teach kids to be cruel by normalizing a lack of empathy. These small moments shape how children react when others are hurt or struggling. Instead of laughing, parents can take the opportunity to ask, “How do you think that person felt?” A little reflection goes a long way toward building kindness.

2. Using Name-Calling as Discipline

Frustrated parents sometimes resort to calling their child “lazy,” “bad,” or “a brat” in the heat of the moment. Not only does this type of verbal abuse harm a child’s self-worth, it also models a behavior they may copy with others. When children hear adults assign negative labels, they learn that using hurtful words is a way to control or shame someone. This is one of the most direct ways adults unintentionally teach kids to be cruel. Replacing criticism with calm, specific feedback helps children understand behavior without attacking identity.

3. Gossiping in Front of Children

Even casual gossip—about coworkers, family, or other parents—teaches kids that it’s okay to judge and talk behind people’s backs. When adults share unkind observations at the dinner table or while driving, kids pick up on the tone and content. They may even repeat what they hear at school or use similar tactics in their own social groups. If something negative needs to be discussed, it’s better to save it for private adult time. Showing discretion teaches kids when, how, and if certain conversations are appropriate.

4. Ignoring or Excusing Mean Behavior

When a child is unkind and the behavior is brushed off as “kids being kids,” it sends the message that cruelty isn’t a big deal. Some parents even excuse teasing as harmless or “just joking,” when it’s clearly making someone uncomfortable. This downplays the impact of bullying and discourages kids from taking responsibility. Instead, it’s important to calmly address even minor unkindness and help children reflect on how their actions affect others. Consistency builds better habits.

5. Setting Double Standards

If adults demand kindness from kids but treat waitstaff, teachers, or other parents with rudeness, the double standard won’t go unnoticed. Children mirror what they see, not just what they’re told. Parents who lose their temper, belittle others, or act disrespectfully during conflict unintentionally teach kids to be cruel when angry. Practicing respectful communication—even during stressful moments—shows children how to hold boundaries without resorting to meanness.

6. Dismissing Emotional Reactions

When a child is upset and hears “toughen up,” “don’t be so sensitive,” or “that’s nothing to cry about,” it teaches them to hide emotion and shame others for expressing it. Over time, they may begin mocking others who show vulnerability, because they’ve learned that feelings are a weakness. Teaching emotional intelligence means acknowledging and validating emotions—even ones that seem small or inconvenient. This helps kids build compassion rather than callousness.

7. Using Fear as a Teaching Tool

Threatening punishment or using fear to control behavior may stop kids in the moment, but it often creates resentment and aggression. Children who are constantly managed with fear may replicate that power dynamic with others—especially peers or siblings. They may also see cruelty as a path to control. Parents can use firm, respectful discipline that encourages cooperation and understanding instead of fear and compliance.

8. Promoting “Win at All Costs” Thinking

When parents place a high value on achievement without emphasizing teamwork, fairness, or sportsmanship, kids may begin to view others as obstacles. This can lead to behaviors like cheating, taunting, or exclusion in competitive settings. It’s important to praise effort, encourage empathy in competition, and remind children that success is more meaningful when it’s shared with others. Values like humility and cooperation help balance ambition with kindness.

9. Teasing Children as a Form of Bonding

Many parents tease their kids with affection, but it’s easy to cross the line into sarcasm or mockery. When teasing becomes relentless or targets a child’s insecurities, it doesn’t feel playful—it feels mean. Children might adopt the same style of humor with others and struggle to understand boundaries. Light teasing should always be mutual and respectful, and parents should be quick to apologize if they take it too far.

10. Failing to Address Differences Respectfully

Comments about weight, appearance, culture, or abilities—whether said jokingly or seriously—can reinforce judgmental thinking. Even offhand remarks can shape a child’s view of what is “normal” or “acceptable.” Kids often internalize their parents’ values around inclusion and difference. Speaking positively about diversity, correcting stereotypes, and avoiding derogatory language teaches children to respect everyone, regardless of their background or circumstances.

Raising Kinder Kids Starts with Awareness

We all make mistakes as parents, especially in stressful moments—but recognizing how we may unintentionally teach kids to be cruel is the first step in shifting our approach. By modeling empathy, respect, and emotional awareness, we teach children how to treat others with dignity. Small, everyday changes in how we speak and act can plant the seeds for lifelong kindness.

Have you caught yourself doing any of these without realizing it? What changes have helped you model kindness at home? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Raising Resilient Kids: 8 Lessons Every Parent Should Teach

Catherine Reed

When a Child’s Apology Is Just Another Power Play

June 4, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Most parents are relieved when a child finally mutters “I’m sorry” after a conflict—but what if that apology feels hollow, sarcastic, or strategic? There are times when a child’s apology isn’t about remorse at all—it’s about control. Knowing when a child’s apology is just another power play can help you navigate tricky behavior patterns that aren’t really about making amends. Kids are smart, and they often test boundaries by using language not to repair relationships, but to manipulate outcomes. Recognizing these moments is the first step to teaching genuine accountability and emotional awareness.

1. The Sarcastic or Forced Apology

One of the clearest signs that a child’s apology is just another power play is when it’s said with a smirk, an eye roll, or exaggerated tone. These performative “sorries” aren’t rooted in empathy—they’re about meeting a requirement with the least amount of sincerity possible. Children quickly learn that saying the right words can end a conversation, avoid a consequence, or get an adult off their back. But when parents accept these insincere apologies without addressing the underlying attitude, the real lesson gets lost. Instead, take a moment to pause, acknowledge the tone, and talk about what apologies are meant to do.

2. Apologies That Come with a “But”

“I’m sorry, but she started it.” “I said I was sorry, but I didn’t mean to.” These are common examples of when a child’s apology is just another power play disguised as accountability. The “but” often shifts the blame, deflects responsibility, or minimizes the impact of their actions. While it’s normal for children to struggle with owning up to mistakes, consistent use of this pattern can signal manipulation. Helping kids recognize the difference between explaining and excusing is key to breaking this habit.

3. The Rapid-Fire “Sorry” to Avoid Consequences

Sometimes a child will blurt out “sorry” the instant they sense they’re in trouble—not because they feel regret, but because they hope to escape a consequence. This is another version of when a child’s apology is just another power play, especially if it happens frequently and is followed by the same behavior later. While it’s tempting to accept the apology and move on, it’s important to show that words alone don’t erase actions. Reinforce that sincere apologies must come with effort to do better, not just a get-out-of-jail-free card.

4. Using Apologies to Shift the Focus

A more subtle form of manipulation happens when a child uses an apology to redirect the conversation or guilt the adult into dropping the issue. For instance, they might apologize dramatically to appear extra hurt or emotionally fragile in hopes of avoiding further discussion. This type of behavior falls squarely into the category of when a child’s apology is just another power play, because it’s being used to control the emotional temperature of the room. Parents should respond calmly and remind their child that emotional honesty and growth come from working through discomfort—not just ending it.

5. Repeated Apologies Without Changed Behavior

“I’m sorry” loses meaning if it’s said again and again without any sign of changed behavior. When a child keeps apologizing for the same action but makes no effort to stop doing it, that’s a classic case of when a child’s apology is just another power play. They may believe the words are enough to smooth things over, even when their actions show otherwise. Addressing this pattern means talking not just about what was done, but what can be done differently next time. True apologies are tied to growth—not just getting out of trouble.

Teaching Real Apology Skills

If you recognize any of these patterns, it doesn’t mean your child is manipulative in a malicious way. It means they’re still learning emotional regulation and the true purpose of an apology. Instead of demanding “Say you’re sorry,” try asking, “What do you think you could say or do to make things right?” This shifts the focus from automatic words to meaningful repair. Encourage reflection, not just a recitation. Over time, children can learn that a real apology includes acknowledgment, empathy, and change—not just a shortcut through accountability.

Have you ever felt like your child’s apology was more about escaping trouble than making things right? Share your experience in the comments—we’d love to hear how you handled it.

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9 Reasons The Principal Keeps Calling You To The School (And It Might Be Your Fault)

June 2, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Few things spike a parent’s anxiety quite like seeing the school’s number pop up on your phone again. And when the principal keeps calling you, it’s tempting to assume your child is just having a tough time or the school is being overly dramatic. But sometimes, it’s worth pausing to ask: is there anything I might be doing—or not doing—that’s adding fuel to the fire? From overlooked routines at home to parenting habits that show up in the classroom, your influence may go further than you realize. Here are nine reasons the principal keeps calling you, and how you might be playing a bigger role than you think.

1. Your Child Is Constantly Unprepared

If your kid repeatedly shows up without homework, lunch, or basic school supplies, the principal may eventually step in. When this happens regularly, staff begin to see a pattern—one that may start at home. Whether it’s disorganized mornings, no set routines, or assuming kids will manage it all themselves, lack of prep can spiral quickly. Teachers often do their best to help, but chronic forgetfulness disrupts the classroom. When the principal keeps calling you about it, they’re likely hoping for changes beyond the school walls.

2. They’re Tired—And Everyone Can Tell

Sleep-deprived kids often act out, lose focus, or seem emotionally on edge. If your child isn’t getting enough rest at home, they’ll bring that exhaustion to school, and the results aren’t subtle. Overtired children may melt down more easily, struggle to concentrate, or even get physically aggressive. If the principal keeps calling you due to behavior issues, an honest look at bedtime routines might reveal the real problem. It’s not about being a bad parent—it’s about adjusting habits that help your child succeed.

3. You Downplay Their Behavior

If your first reaction is, “They’d never do that,” when you hear about a school incident, you might unintentionally be shutting down important conversations. Defensiveness can send the message that you’re not open to working with the school. The principal keeps calling you because they need collaboration, not denial. Taking your child’s side without hearing the full story may reinforce the wrong behavior at school. Keeping an open mind encourages trust and solutions.

4. You Talk Negatively About School in Front of Your Child

Kids absorb more than we think, and when they hear you criticize teachers or complain about school policies, it changes how they engage in the classroom. If they sense you don’t respect authority, they may mirror that behavior. The principal keeps calling you because your child might be testing boundaries, refusing to follow instructions, or acting like the rules don’t apply to them. A shift in tone at home can help reinforce the importance of mutual respect.

5. They Don’t Know How to Handle Conflict

Children aren’t born with conflict resolution skills—they learn them. If your child is constantly arguing, hitting, or tattling, it may be a sign they haven’t been taught how to manage their feelings. The principal keeps calling you because these issues are interfering with learning time. Modeling healthy communication, emotional regulation, and problem-solving at home is key. School can support it, but the foundation begins with you.

6. They Struggle With Authority

If your child regularly pushes back against teachers or refuses to follow instructions, it may stem from a lack of consistent boundaries at home. Kids who don’t have structure outside of school often struggle with expectations inside it. The principal keeps calling you when your child won’t listen, not to shame you—but to get help reinforcing consistent discipline. Practicing firm but loving limits at home helps them understand that rules exist for a reason.

7. You’re Not Responding to the First Calls

Sometimes the reason the principal keeps calling you is because you didn’t return the last one. Ignoring early outreach can make school staff feel like you’re not engaged, and that frustration may escalate the situation. Even if you’re busy or don’t know what to say, acknowledging the call shows that you’re willing to be involved. Proactive communication builds trust and can keep small issues from turning into big problems.

8. They’re Repeating What They Hear at Home

When kids show up repeating language, jokes, or opinions from adults, it can sometimes create unexpected issues in the classroom. This is especially true if those remarks are inappropriate, offensive, or just plain confusing in a school context. The principal keeps calling you when those comments disrupt the learning environment or make other students uncomfortable. Kids don’t always understand context, which is why it’s important to be mindful of what they overhear.

9. Your Child Is Struggling—and They Need Your Help

Not every phone call is about punishment. Sometimes, the principal keeps calling you because your child is having a hard time socially, emotionally, or academically—and they’re looking for solutions. If your child seems more anxious, withdrawn, or frustrated at school, it might be time for extra support. By working together, you can figure out what’s really going on and make a plan to help your child thrive.

When the Phone Rings, Take a Breath

No parent wants to feel blamed, especially when it comes to their child’s behavior or struggles at school. But if the principal keeps calling you, it’s a sign that something isn’t working—and you’re a crucial part of making it better. The goal isn’t to point fingers. It’s to build a bridge between home and school so your child can cross into success with confidence.

Have you ever gotten a call from the principal that caught you off guard? How did you respond, and what did it teach you? Share your story in the comments!

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7 Things You Should NEVER Allow Your Child To Say To Another Adult

June 1, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Kids say the darndest things—and sometimes, the most disrespectful ones. While it’s normal for children to test boundaries with words, there are some phrases that simply shouldn’t be tolerated when directed at another adult. These aren’t just about being “rude”—they can set patterns that impact how your child treats authority, navigates relationships, and shows empathy. Teaching children respectful communication early on helps them become emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and confident without being hurtful. If you’re wondering where to draw the line, here are seven things you should never allow your child to say to another adult.

1. “You’re Not the Boss of Me!”

This defiant phrase may sound like harmless sass, but it undermines respect for authority and sets a dangerous tone. While it’s important for children to understand autonomy, dismissing an adult’s guidance, especially in a school, family, or caregiving setting, can lead to major behavioral challenges. It also signals to other kids that rules only apply when they feel like following them. Instead, teach your child to ask questions respectfully or say, “Can I check with my parent first?” Empowering language doesn’t have to come at the expense of basic courtesy.

2. “You’re Old” or Other Age-Based Insults

One of the things you should never allow your child to say to anyone, especially adults, is a comment meant to mock age or appearance. Jokes like “You’re wrinkly” or “You’re so old” may seem funny in the moment, but they encourage insensitivity and erode respectful behavior. Kids need to understand that every person deserves kindness, no matter their age. Redirecting curiosity into learning about generational differences can foster empathy instead of embarrassment. Reinforce that what’s funny to one person might be hurtful to another.

3. “I Don’t Have to Listen to You”

This is another authority-rejecting statement that’s easy to let slide—but shouldn’t be ignored. While your child might not be obligated to follow every adult’s instruction (especially in cases involving strangers or unsafe situations), there’s still a respectful way to communicate that. Teaching them to say, “I’d rather talk to my parent first,” or “Can I check before I do that?” shows maturity without being dismissive. Modeling how to disagree with respect is essential for long-term social development. Words matter, and tone matters even more.

4. “You’re Not My Real Parent”

Blended families, teachers, and caregivers often hear this hurtful line when tensions rise. It may be emotionally charged, but it’s one of the most damaging things you should never allow your child to say. This kind of statement doesn’t just hurt feelings—it can fracture relationships and create lasting resentment. Help your child understand that respect isn’t reserved for biological parents—it extends to any adult offering care, structure, or support. Honest conversations about family dynamics are healthy, but cruelty isn’t.

5. “That’s Stupid” (When Referring to Ideas or Rules)

When a child dismisses a rule or suggestion with “That’s stupid,” it reveals a lack of emotional control and disregard for others’ perspectives. Whether it’s a classroom policy or a relative’s tradition, labeling it as stupid sets a tone of entitlement and disrespect. Instead, teach your child how to express disagreement in a constructive way, like “That seems different from what I’m used to” or “Can you explain why we do it that way?” Helping your child build a respectful vocabulary now sets them up for mature communication later.

6. “My Parents Said You’re Wrong”

Kids often repeat what they hear at home, but this phrase can quickly become a social grenade. Even if it’s true that a parent disagrees with something, throwing it out in front of an adult can come off as rude and confrontational. It’s one of those things you should never allow your child to say without teaching them context and tone. Encourage your child to ask questions or say, “That’s not how we usually do it at home—can you help me understand?” It’s about balance, not blind obedience.

7. “I Hate You”

This may be the most extreme—and most painful—thing a child can say to an adult in a moment of frustration. Even if it’s blurted out in anger, allowing a child to use this phrase without correction can normalize disrespect as a form of emotional release. Teach your child that feelings of anger or disappointment are valid, but they need to be expressed in healthier ways. Phrases like “I’m really upset right now” or “I need some space” model emotional intelligence without cutting deep. Kids will have big feelings, but they can still learn to manage them with care.

Respect Is a Skill, Not a Given

Teaching kids what they should and shouldn’t say to adults isn’t about controlling them—it’s about guiding them to be thoughtful, respectful communicators. The things you should never allow your child to say are more than just phrases—they’re habits that shape how your child views authority, empathy, and self-expression. Correction doesn’t have to be harsh. It just needs to be consistent, clear, and followed by a conversation about why words matter. Helping your child find better ways to express themselves is a gift that lasts a lifetime.

Have you ever had to correct something your child said to an adult? What helped you handle it? Share your story in the comments!

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Here’s What to Do When The Teacher Calls About Your Child’s Behavior

May 28, 2025 | Leave a Comment

It’s the phone call no parent wants but most will get at some point—the teacher is calling, and it’s not about how great your child did on their spelling test. Whether it’s classroom disruptions, defiance, or social struggles, hearing that something’s off at school can be tough to process. But instead of going into panic mode or immediately jumping to your child’s defense, it helps to take a calm, proactive approach. Knowing what to do when the teacher calls about your child’s behavior can turn a frustrating moment into a powerful opportunity for growth—for both you and your child.

1. Take a Breath Before Responding

When the teacher calls about your child’s behavior, your first instinct might be to feel embarrassed, defensive, or even angry. That’s completely normal, but try not to react emotionally right away. Take a deep breath, thank the teacher for the call, and let them explain the situation. You don’t have to respond with a solution immediately—sometimes, just listening is the most important first step. Give yourself space to absorb the information before jumping into action.

2. Ask Questions to Understand the Full Story

Don’t assume the worst—but don’t assume your child is innocent either. Ask clarifying questions so you can get a full understanding of what happened. When the teacher calls about your child’s behavior, it’s okay to request examples, context, and how often the issue has occurred. Try to get a sense of how your child’s behavior is impacting others and what steps have already been taken in the classroom. The more information you gather, the better equipped you’ll be to address the issue effectively.

3. Avoid Shaming or Overreacting at Home

It’s tempting to storm into your child’s room with a lecture or punishment ready, but this often backfires. When the teacher calls about your child’s behavior, your goal should be to guide—not scare—your child into better choices. Ask for their side of the story calmly, and make it clear you want to help them succeed, not just punish them. Kids are more likely to open up when they don’t feel cornered. Discipline should be consistent, but also fair and rooted in understanding.

4. Partner With the Teacher, Not Against Them

Your child’s teacher is not your enemy. In fact, they want the same thing you do—for your child to thrive. When the teacher calls about your child’s behavior, try to view them as a partner. Ask what strategies have worked in the classroom and what you can reinforce at home. Building a cooperative relationship with the teacher often leads to faster, more positive outcomes for your child.

5. Look for Patterns, Not Isolated Incidents

One bad day doesn’t define your child—but repeated behavior can signal a bigger issue. Keep track of how often these calls happen and what the concerns are. When the teacher calls about your child’s behavior more than once, it’s important to look for patterns. Is it always after lunch? During group activities? With certain classmates? These details can help identify triggers and shape more targeted solutions.

6. Support Positive Behavior at Home

If your child is struggling with respect, focus, or impulse control at school, you can build those same skills at home. Create routines, practice problem-solving, and praise your child when they handle frustration well. When the teacher calls about your child’s behavior, it’s not just about fixing what went wrong—it’s about reinforcing what can go right. Small, consistent efforts at home can make a big difference in how your child shows up in the classroom.

7. Know When to Seek Additional Help

Sometimes, the issue goes beyond a simple fix. If your child is repeatedly in trouble, not responding to school or home-based strategies, or showing signs of deeper emotional struggles, it may be time to consult a school counselor or pediatrician. When the teacher calls about your child’s behavior regularly, there could be underlying issues such as anxiety, ADHD, or learning differences that need professional support. Asking for help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a step toward lasting change.

Every Call Is a Chance to Connect and Support

No parent loves getting a behavior call from school, but it doesn’t have to be a crisis. When the teacher calls about your child’s behavior, use it as an opportunity to understand your child more deeply, strengthen communication with their teacher, and set them up for better choices. You’re not just reacting—you’re teaching, guiding, and showing up. And that’s what good parenting looks like, even on the hard days.

How do you handle tough conversations about your child’s school behavior? Share your experiences and advice with other parents in the comments!

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