Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Archives for 2013

Children and Computer Safety

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kids computer timeSince having a child, I have become increasingly aware of the world around me. I can’t read the newspaper or listen to the news without something bothering me. Something that gives me a stark reminder of the world we live in. Though we parents we try our hardest to protect our children, we can’t always be with them.

With schools all over the world commencing this month, children will soon be flocking to internet resources for both school projects and sheer enjoyment. The internet is a realm that we as parents will have one of the most difficult challenges in terms of protection. We now have to worry about stuff like cyber-bullying and sickos praying on children.

As parents, it is so important that we implement computer-use guidelines early on and make sure they are reinforced.

 

Password and Location

I am of the opinion that passwords, especially in young children, need to be shared. We need to know what is going on with our children and computer time. If children are young (less than high school) they don’t need their own computer. Even in today’s computer driven world, a home-based family computer will do. Place the computer in a family friendly area where you can’ easily see what they are doing. Make sure it’s in a spot they can get some quite time if doing homework but not locked away in their bedroom.

There should be 100% transparency with what happens during computer time. Everything from homework to Facebook. The computer is not the place to be sharing private or personal information. Your child should have nothing to hide and gladly share all passwords with you. Children need privacy but the internet is not that place to do it. Encourage them to write in a diary or talk on the phone with friends. Make sure the understand the importance of never sharing anything private.

 

Limit Time

While I respect that kids need computer time for homework, kids in general spend way too much time in front of screens. Set a realistic time limit to how much screen time they are allowed per day and abide by it. Make sure children regularly engage in activities that don’t involve technology. Cooking, sports, drawing, reading, something other than retina-burning screens.

 

Who Do They ‘Friend’?

Facebook (and all other social media) brings a whole new level of safety concerns onto my radar as a mom. You can connect with people all over the world and quickly find out everything about them in an instant. Make sure you pay attention to your child’s social media accounts. Check in on them regularly and make sure you know who they are talking to. As a parent you should know everyone on their social media sites. If you don’t know who someone is (classmate, friend-of-friend), find out.

With the rate that technology accelerates it will be so important as parents to stay on top of everything. There’s a fine line between protecting your child and invading their privacy, but I don’t think the internet is a place where private information should be shared and children need to understand that. If guidelines are laid out early on, there will be much less resistance and more mutual respect.

What is your take on computer safety and children?

The Importance of Unplugging

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unpluggingAs I sit here and write this post sitting beside my husband, half paying attending to him and half trying to get work done, I am reminded once again of the importance to unplug once in a while.

Today is Labor Day and we spent the weekend with our whole family. Hanging out last night and waking up to the men and children in the family preparing brunch for all the moms. It was a nice treat to sit back and be waited on for the morning. When the whole family gets together no one pays much attention to their phones, computers or iDevices. It’s nice. We play games, hang out, eat and drink but most of all, unplug.

 

Life Goes On

In today’s technology-littered world it is too easy to let moments, big and small, pass you by. We spend so much of our time with eyes on a screen we sometimes forget to just stop and look up.

This past Christmas, being my daughters first, I vowed to not spend any time on my phone or computer while she was awake for the whole week my husband was off. I wanted to enjoy our family time together and soak up all that the season brings. See family, watch my daughters expression when she saw the Christmas tree light up, just enjoy every. single. moment. I admit that I thought this may be difficult. What if I missed an e-mail that needed attention? What if something happened on my blog that I needed to take care of? Would my readers forget about me if I disappeared for a week? I came back in January and everything was fine. Life went on even though I had a full inbox, comments to get caught up on and blog posts to edit.

I’m bad for constantly checking my phone, twitter, e-mail and blog stuff. Admittedly, even when my daughter is in my presence. It breaks my heart when I’m in the middle of catching up on e-mails only to look up at my daughter playing and her staring at me looking for my reaction and excitement when she’s accomplished something.

Like many, my husbands cell phone is a lifeline for his job. He’s constantly getting e-mails for work, phone calls from different people and calendar reminders to get tasks done. This continues to happen after 4pm when his work day is ‘done’.  It’s sometimes very important to stay connected, especially when you’re on the job search.  You have to be in contact with the jobs site in case new listings are posted.  You want to be able to make sure that you get your stuff in first.

 

A Blessing and a Curse

Technology is a great thing, we couldn’t live without it, but it’s just too much sometimes. I miss the simple times of not having that nagging feeling of needing to check my phone for notifications every five minutes. I miss eating supper with no phone, email or work interruptions. I miss being able to physically leave work and that be the end of a workday. Today’s technology allows someone to connect with you in so many ways there is no ignoring people anymore.

I love how far technology has come in the last twenty years. It amazes me what has been accomplished but it’s also too easy to let it rule your life. This past weekend was another reminder that unplugging once in a while is a good thing and certain things in life can just wait. I don’t ever get a first Mothers Day again, I wasn’t about to allow a Blackberry take away from any special moment.

Do you unplug on a regular basis? 

How Parents Can Use Their Social Media Influence

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mom on social mediaSocial media has permeated into every aspect of life.  Every night on the news, I guarantee you that there will be some story about social media, or that uses social media (a viral video, a tweet, a story from Facebook).  The bottom line is that everyone has become a reporter, and that is important for brands to take notice.

As parents, it is important to realize that we have a lot of influence when it comes to social media.  Entire networks of parent blogs have emerged and they carry a lot of influence.  It’s time for the internet marketing company to take note of the influence that parents have, especially on social media.

 

Using Social Media for Good

There are so many examples of how parents are using social media for good.  For example, I have a friend on Facebook who started a viral campaign to raise money for a child with disabilities.  The goal was to get him to get a special treatment that their family couldn’t afford.

Prior to social media, the only way these campaigns would have been successful is if the community got enough support that the local news station covered it.  Then, if you were really lucky, the national news would have picked up the story as well.

Today, you can have stories go viral on social media and instantly reach millions of people overnight – you can even buy Instagram likes to help give your story the best chance of being seen by as many people as possible and getting the word spread around the world.  In the case of the story above, the family was able to raise over $10,000 for their child to get the treatment they needed, all from anonymous donors all over the world.  Talk about the power of social media.

 

Using Social Media for Change

Parents also have a lot of clout when it comes to dealing with brands.  Parents literally have the power to change the fate of different companies – both positively and negatively.

In the past, brands would rely on advertising to get out the word on new products.  Now, brands will hire an SEO company to contract with bloggers to review their new products.  This is a big shift in the marketing world – instead of national advertising campaigns, advertising takes the form of recommendations from other parents that people trust.  This really shows the influence of parents online.

On the flip side, if parents are dissatisfied with a brand, or how they were treated, they have an instant outlet.  And the last thing that brands want is to be called out on social media by dissatisfied parents.  Because, once again, a poor experience can go viral and end up on the nightly news.  Entire websites, like the Consumerist, exist to showcase these stories.

How else can parents use their social media influence?

Bringing Kids To Events: Proper Invite Etiquette

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children weddingI love being with my family. I love being together and showing them off. My daughter is fun to be with and can really light up a room. For these reasons, it’s not often that she isn’t with us. I can honestly say I don’t think we will be the type to ever vacation without our (young) children since family time is so important to us. As they get older and involved in their own things, obviously this will change, but I won’t be dropping my toddler off at grandma’s for a week while I lie on a beach – I want her with us!

Though we love having her around, sometimes it’s just not appropriate. This coming weekend, one of our best friends is getting married. While our little one was invited to the wedding, and it is a child-friendly wedding, we have decided not to bring her. My husband is standing in the wedding and it will be a long day. Asking her to be on her best behaviour while going on five hours past her bedtime just isn’t fair to her. So we can enjoy the wedding and not have to worry about keeping her happy, we have opted for a babysitter for the day. I don’t want to be responsible for creating the memory of the crying child during the father-daughter dance. She can stay home and play with her aunt.

 

Proper Invite Etiquette

While her name was addressed on this invite, her name was clearly not present on another wedding invite. We didn’t even have to ask. If her name wasn’t present, I can assume this particular wedding is a child-free wedding, or at the very least, baby-free wedding and I totally understand that. The wedding is later in the day and alcohol will be served. Having an infant present just didn’t make sense. If the name is not on the event invite, assume your child is not invited.

Today’s more informal invitations through email and Facebook, where large groups of people can be invited at once, can sometimes leave for awkward moments. If your child isn’t named as a guest, you will usually be forced to ask if they are invited. Though I’d usually just ask if this was a child-friendly event, or if I should make plans to leave her at home, sometimes an educated assumption will do. If you know Bob’s birthday party is starting at 8pm and will go well into the evening you can probably assume the child’s name was omitted for a reason, but if there is an afternoon BBQ birthday party and their name wasn’t on the invitation, it could have been an honest oversight.

I sometimes feel like our childless friends feel like they have to invite our daughter to all events. I wish people would be more comfortable in saying that children are not invited so there is no awkwardness.

 

Hosting Etiquette

In preparation for these weddings, I was invited to a bridal shower where I was told it was alright to bring my daughter. Knowing it was in the afternoon, I didn’t think much more of it. I arrived at the shower where I knew other women with young children would be only to find out they didn’t bring their kids. The host told one non-mom she didn’t really want kids but felt like she couldn’t ask us not to bring them. This message got around to everyone but me, talk about awkward.

In terms of hosting etiquette, if you really don’t want children present at your event just tell the parents! Parents are usually not offended and totally understand.  I can’t see why there would be an issue, especially if there is sufficient time to find childcare. Mom and Dad need baby free time as well, we don’t mind leaving kiddo once in a while.

How do you deal with invitations and bringing your children to events?

Saving Money With Back to School Shopping

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back to schoolI can’t believe we’re already nearing the end of the summer. This past week the flyers were delivered and jam-packed full with back to school shopping deals. I feel like we were just talking about Easter! Time goes too fast.

When it comes to grade school, back to school is a time of year when pressure is put on parents. Kids need to go to school and they will require some new items for their pending academic year but it doesn’t have to be as expensive as your children will have you believe. Kids have a funny way of making it seem like they couldn’t possibly succeed without ‘x’ item and guess what? As parents, we will occasionally get duped by our kids. We will inevitably purchase an item we didn’t have to, sometimes because we’re suckers and believe them and sometimes because we just love them. Back to school shopping can be very expensive but there are a few ways to save!

 

Budget

This isn’t exactly about saving money per se, but if you know your child will be needing new supplies every year, budget for it! Determine how much money will be spent on each child and budget the amount equally over the year so you’re not faced with a huge bill come school shopping time. This should include any supplies, clothes and gadgets they will need. Once you’ve set a budget shopping will be a lot less stressful, especially if you’re able to set ground rules with kids in advance.

 

Wait for Sales

The normal price for a pack of looseleaf paper at my local Walmart is $1.79/pack, this week it is on sale for $0.15. Needless to say if I was shopping for my child I would be buying enough paper to last the next 10 years at that price.

In many places, there are also tax free days for back to school shopping, which can at least give you a little break on the taxes you pay on your school supplies.

 

Reuse

When I was in elementary school I needed a new backpack every year. I’d find a flaw in my current one just so mom could buy me a snazzy new one. Eventually she caught on and bought me a good quality backpack with the stipulation that I took care of it and it was to be the last one she ever bought me. Fair enough. That bag ended up lasting me all the way through university, money well spent.

Same thing goes with things like sneakers ad clothes, unless your child is growing a legitimately doesn’t fit in their current size, or their shoes are really falling apart they don’t need a new pair just because it’s the start of a new year. Though I respect wanting a new outfit or two for the new year it doesn’t have to be a full wardrobe overhaul.

 

Share What Can Be Shared

If you have more than one child to shop for, and there are items that can be shared, capitalize on this. Each child does not need their own computer. Trust me, I know they will have a very elaborate explanation as to why they do, but unless you have a household of five plus children all in school, one computer for the children will suffice.

Back to school is a stressful time for families with the drastic change in routines, shopping for supplies shouldn’t be!

How do you save on back to school shopping for your kids?

Baby Shower Thank You Wording: Card Templates You Can Use

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baby shower thank you wording

Baby showers are a lot of fun… but they are also a lot of work.  And when you’re 8 to 9 months pregnant and trying to get everything ready for baby, putting in a lot of work can be a challenge (especially if you’re still working).  You need about 36 hours in a day – and that just isn’t happening. So, from my wife’s last baby shower, we put together some baby shower thank you wording templates to make it easy to get them done.  This way, your husband or friend can easily help you get everything done quickly and easily. Feel free to use these for your own baby shower.

Organizing Your Cards

The essential part of making writing thank you notes is organization.  When you’re actually at your shower, it can be so hard to keep track of everything because everyone wants to chat, and you’re trying to get through a bunch of bags and boxes.  Instead, ask the host of the shower, or maybe your best friend or sister, to keep a list of what you get.

A simple tracking for can include:

  • Who Gave The Gift
  • What The Gift Was (Write down everything)
  • If Money/Giftcard include the Amount

Then, when writing your thank you notes, you can go right down your list, instead of having to track down all the bags, boxes, and look for cards to remember who gave you what.

Baby Shower Thank You Wording for Clothes

You’re going to get a lot of clothes.  Here’s a great template for clothing thank you notes:

Thank you so much for the adorable (insert clothing items here).  There’s no doubt in my mind that Baby Smith will be decked out in the cutest outfits for the first three years of his life.  Your kindness is overwhelming and your support is so appreciated.  Thank you again for everything! 

How to Say Thanks for Essentials

Essentials include all the random baby toys, diapers, and butt paste that people will give you at your shower.  This includes the basket of essentials that a lot of people put together to give you. When it comes to baby shower thank you wording for this, you can do something like this…

Thank you so much for the (insert essential items here).  It’s a little overwhelming to see how much Baby Smith will need in the first few years of his life, but I’m getting so excited and I’m so thankful to have such a caring group of people to send me into motherhood.  Thank you again for everything.

Money and Gift Card Thank You Notes

A lot of people will simply give you money or giftcards to stores like Babies R Us or similar stores.  That is so useful, but it’s sometimes hard to write a thank you note for.

Thank you so much for the (Babies R Us) giftcard).  I thought I had everything I needed for Baby Smith, but it turns out this little guy has quite a preparation checklist to fill.  I really appreciate you thinking of me and thank you again!

The Unusual or Unnecessary Gifts

No matter what, people will stray from your registry, and give you something totally odd.  Or maybe Aunt Mae will have made something that you know your baby will never use.  Regardless, here’s a catch-all for the random and unnecessary stuff people will inevitably get you.

Thank you so much for the (odd item here).  I really appreciate you thinking of us and taking the time to (make/find) this for us.  I know that it will definitely be useful once Baby Smith gets here.  I appreciate your support and thank you again!

Ordering Simple and Inexpensive Thank You Cards

You can get classy and custom thank you cards on sites like Amazon, but for most, that really isn’t worth it.  Remember, everyone who gets your thank you card will throw it away – and it’s more about that thought than anything else. If you and your friends are trying to be green, then you might want to send ecards instead, just remember to personalize them with the baby shower thank you wording above.

One of my favorite sites for thank you cards is partybell.com. You can find a bunch of other Baby Shower Thank You Cards for extremely reasonable prices on their site.

Hopefully, this helps you make the job of writing thank you cards a little easier, especially given everything else going on at this point in time.

Road Trips With a Young Child

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Road Trip with Young ChildThis week we will be embarking on our first real family vacation. We’ve been out on small trips to the cottage with our little one but this week we’re heading out on an 1,100 km road trip with her. Though my husband and I are both experienced travelers (everything from road-trips to international trips) having a baby with us will make traveling much different, I’m sure.

Knowing we would be trapped in the car for upwards of six hours in a day, I needed to get a plan in place or our lives may become miserable very quickly. These are things to consider when road-tripping with a little one.

 

Distractions are Crucial

Though she does well in a car for a short time, unless she falls asleep (and I’d rather not mess with her nap schedule too much) after about 15 mins we will be scrambling to entertain her. In our case, she is still rear facing in the back seat so I will be sitting back there with her which alone will be much better than her sitting alone. What to distract her with is where things can get interesting. She has little to no interest in traditional toys while in the car. The best way to distract her is to give her something she doesn’t normally get or has never seen before. Boring old toys won’t cut the trick. Here are a few things our little one like to play with and entertains her for quite some time:

  • Keys. I gathered three old keys we had, washed them (predicting them to go in her mouth) and placed them on a key ring.
  • Wallet. She loves to take my wallet apart so I found an old wallet and filled it with old cards and meaningless papers so in the event she loses them we’re fine.
  • New book. She usually enjoys looking at pictures in books, I specify new book since I know if it’s one she’s never seen before we will have more luck. I’ve purchased a book and won’t give it to her until the car ride starts.
  • Something with buttons. Kids love to push buttons. Remotes, cell phones, I don’t know what it is but she loves to push them. I have both an old remote and old (circa 1995) cell phone that she can do whatever she wants with.
  • DVD player. She doesn’t get to watch much, TV so the hope is that a little music or TV will keep her entertained for a bit.

 

Keep Routines the Best You Can

While driving, or any travel, this is a difficult task but we’re going to try our best to keep her eating and sleeping routines as close to normal. Thankfully we only have one time zone to cross and are breaking our long trip up by stopping overnight. Our plan is to stop every 2-2.5 hours to get out of the car, change her diaper and get a little fresh air. If my distractions work I should be able to keep her awake as well coax her into sleep when nap time comes.

 

Accept You Need Additional Time

Traveling with a little one is going to be much different from when it was just us. Though I feel like I have everything planned out, I full-well know she will be dictating this show and I’m ok with that. Our family knows and respects that we have a little one and she’s the star of the show, stuff comes up and we may take longer than expected to get there.

As long as she’s happy, we’re happy. Happy kid=Happy life.

Any tips for travelling with a little one?

How to Keep an Eye on Your Kids All the Time

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watchful momSomeone once said, “When you have a child, it’s like wearing your heart outside your body.”  Most parents can probably relate.  You’d likely do anything to keep your child safe.

While you may want to keep an eye on your kids all the time, realistically, you can’t.  Of course, there are some steps you take to protect your child such as checking your babysitter’s credentials and calling references.  You likely put sunscreen on your child if you’ll have him outdoors for an hour or more.

You take the precautions to protect your child outside the home, but do you take the proper precautions inside the home?

 

Keeping an Eye Inside the Home

Home is where we feel safest, but there is danger lurking.  Even the staircase can be dangerous if you or your child slips and falls.  To keep an eye on your child at all times and keep them protected, you’ll want to see all the quality safety equipment for around the home that is available.  You’ll be amazed. . .and reassured.

You can install a nanny cam to make sure your sitter is taking good care of your child.  What you will see will likely reassure you and help you feel even more confident in your sitter, but if something is amiss, you can take the proper steps immediately.

 

Remember Key Safety Features

However, there are other things you should consider.  Do you have a smoke detector on each floor of the home?  Ideally, you might want at least two per floor, depending on the size of your home.

What about a fire extinguisher?  There should be one within easy reach of the stove in case a fire starts there.

Some people feel safer with a home security system to protect them while they sleep at night.    Use a trusted supplier such as PureSafety who can help you make your home as safe as possible for your family.

You’ll never be able to remove every danger that may face your child, just as you won’t be able to keep an eye on him 24/7, no matter how much you want to.  However, you can take the proper precautions to make him as safe as possible inside the home and out.  As parents, that’s our job, and one most of us will gladly do.

What other safety precautions do you take?

How to Regulate the Amount You Spend on Your Kids…Because Kids Ain’t Cheap

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regulate kids spendingWe all know, kids ain’t cheap.  When you stare into your little bundle of joy’s face for the first time, you likely only feel amazement and awe.  You watch your child grow and develop and meet major milestones.  You delight in his first smile, laugh, and coo.

But then, you start noticing the expenses.  The diapers.  The formula.  The childcare.

It’s a good thing your baby’s so cute because he’s starting to cost you –big time.

Sound familiar?

First time parents are often shocked at how much an infant costs.  Guess what, folks–it doesn’t get any cheaper as they get older.  If you want to still be able to save money for your own retirement, make sure you regulate how much you spend on your kids!  The sooner you get a good plan together on how much you spend, the easier it will be later on when they are teenagers and asking for their own money to spend!

 

1. Remember, You Come First

Save for your own future first.  Sure, you want to give Junior everything, but save for your own retirement first.  You’re not being selfish.  Trust me, when Junior is 25, he’ll be glad he doesn’t need to help support mom and dad.  Plus, your kid can get student loans and other help to pay for expenses, but you can’t get a loan to fund your retirement.

 

2. An Emergency Fund is Essential

Keep a rainy day fund.  In addition to retirement savings, make sure to keep a rainy day fund.  You might want to look online for the best fixed rate bonds for some of the money that you’re setting aside for long-term goals.  For an emergency fund, you’ll want to have the money easily accessible.

 

3. Budget for the Big Stuff

Decide how much you’ll pay for major events.  While Junior’s still in diapers, long before he needs thousands of dollars for college, decide how much you’ll pay.  Maybe you want to pick up the whole tab for college.  Great.  You’ll need to plan accordingly.  Maybe you don’t want to pay anything; in that case you’ll need to let Junior know early so he can make his own college plans in high school, including how to pay.

 

4. Teach Your Child About Money

Teach your child to be financially independent.  The best way to regulate the amount of money you spend on your child is to teach him to be good with his money.  When he’s a teen or young adult, have him open a bank account.  Places like http://www.bmsavings.co.uk have some fantastic savings options.

With a little discipline and financially sound decisions, you can avoid bankruptcy while raising your child AND teach him how to be financially independent as he grows up.

How else can you regulate the amount you spend on your kids?

What I Miss About Pre-Kid Days

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pre-kid memoriesI hope this post isn’t misinterpreted. I love having a child. I wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world and it’s the best ”job” I’ve ever had. She challenges me in ways I didn’t know existed and has totally completed me. Call it cheesy but it’s the truth.

In spite of everything I adore about being a mom, there are a few things I truly miss about my pre-mom days. Things that  I have accepted will be a long time before I experience again.

 

Using the Bathroom

People tried to warn me to enjoy my bathroom time while I could and now I totally understand. If my husband is home, I’m sometimes fortunate enough to pee by myself but even that’s no guarantee. Unless I wake before kiddo in the morning, which is a rarity since she’s an earlier riser just like momma, I shower with an audience on a near daily basis. Having a child totally strips you of all privacy.

 

Enjoying Food

In the early days of motherhood, eating was an Olympic event. I would prepare and eat my food as fast as humanly possible. Choking was an afterthought. This was if I remembered to eat at all. Nowadays I have a little more freedom since she’s slightly more independent, but she has a vested interest in everything that enters my mouth. Even if it’s the same food on her plate, or something I know she will hate, she still only wants to eat Mommy’s food. This can make mealtime a bit of an event in its own. Unless she’s asleep, or I’m at work, rarely do I truly get to enjoy my meal.

 

Freedom

Gone are the days that I can plan to do what I want, when I want. Though we still do all the things we love, it now revolves around nap time, meals and bedtime. Having a schedule for her is imperative. This is no revolution on my behalf, I knew this was going to be the case as soon as she was born but I do miss the ease of my former schedule and the ability to get things done. I’d be lying if I said I wish I didn’t have to think about packing an additional 74505 things for our family vacation, it’s time-consuming and a lot of effort. 

Though there are things I miss about my life before motherhood. I wouldn’t change any of it. Sure I can’t eat all my meals alone and have to think about her schedule for the next 18 or so years, I love it. I love the sticky hand prints all over my coffee table, the knocks on the door when I’m trying to use the washroom and the true love she has for us.

Children are the most honest and loving creatures out there. The love and appreciation she shows us everyday continues to blow my mind. I love being a mom more than anything in the world, even peeing alone.

What do you miss from your pre-kid days?

My Wife’s Pregnant – Now What?

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wife's pregnantCongratulations!  You’re having a baby!  Holy shit!  You’re having a baby!

Even if you’ve been trying for a long time, getting a positive pregnancy test is a huge deal!  It mean’s your wife is pregnant.  You’re excited.  You’re nervous.  You really have no fucking idea what to expect!  That’s great and exciting.  You’re in for a wild ride.

Here’s the next steps on what to do once you find out your wife’s pregnant, and what you can expect as a husband or partner.

 

Is This For Real?

Your first instinct may be to dismiss the positive pregnancy test for a bit.  Guess what – there’s really no point.  In fact, these test are 99.9% accurate, especially if it has been a few weeks since your wife’s missed period.  These tests are over 90% accurate even before she was supposed to have her period.  The bottom line is that if you took a home pregnancy test and it was positive, you’re pregnant.

The big if is this – the test simply detects the hormone her body emits when there is a fertilized egg.  Her body starts producing it very early on, and there is still a chance it won’t be a viable pregnancy.  That’s why you still need to go to the doctor to confirm.

 

Setting Up a Dr. Appt

Once you get a positive pregnancy test, you should setup a doctor appointment between 6 and 8 weeks (or 2 to 4 weeks after her missed period). During this time, the doctor will do a trans-vaginal ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy (yes, that is an ultrasound where they stick the wand up the ho-ha).  The cool thing is that this will be the first glimpse you’re going to get of your baby!

It’s going to look like 6th grade biology – a little round circle of a cell, that has a little flutter in the middle – your baby’s heartbeat.

However, this appointment may not be all good news.  Many early detected pregnancies are not viable – upwards of 33%.  In many cases, you’ll never know – it ends like a regular period even though the egg was fertilized.  However, some can go longer, and you may make it to this point.  That’s why confirming the baby is essential when moving forward.

 

Telling Your Family

For all the reasons above, the standard for telling people you’re pregnant is 12 weeks.  Once you get past the 12 week mark, the odds of having a miscarriage are extremely low – so it’s safe to let people know.  It’s also the time when you can be a little less worried about whether everything is okay, and start worrying about what you’re going to do when you have a little one in a few months.

 

Be Supportive

You just need to be supportive during the whole process.  Your wife’s body is going to be taken over by the little guy or girl, and hormones are running wild.  You’re in for a wild ride, and you’re going to be surprised by it all.  Just be there, as best you can.

 

Be Prepared

Finally, you just need to have a basic level of education about pregnancy and child rearing. Pregnancy is a time of extreme change and its going to impact both your current relationship and your future with your partner.  The best thing to do is pick up a copy of Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care. Its a classic that’s had something like nine revisions in the past 60 years, and its sold millions of copies. Get it in paper back on amazon for like $6 bucks.

For help on what to teach your children as they grow check out these articles.

Raising Polite, Responsible Kids
Raising Money Smart Kids
Raising A Child On A Budget: How To Save Money And Be A Happy Family

If you’ve been through this with your wife or husband, what advice do you have?

The Importance of Date Night

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Importance of Date NightBefore I had a child, I never put much thought into date nights with hubby, they always just had a way of happening. They were never fancy but since we didn’t have a child to tend to, we had a lot of time for each other. I remember my aunt telling me at my baby shower to make sure I paid attention to myself and my relationship with my husband or it may dwindle away. She was right. Not that the relationship with my husband is going away but it has certainly changed. It is so important that we remind each other what our relationship was like before having kids.

Our daughter is the center of our universe. 99% of our conversations are about her or our family. If the conversations aren’t about her, they’re about our budget, schedule, work, nothing exciting. Five years ago this wasn’t the case. Five years ago we were planning our life and dreams out. We were connecting in different ways. While I expect our relationship to grow and change as it evolves, it’s still important to remember, and pay respect to, the foundations that brought us together.

 

Date Night Doesn’t Have to be Expensive

I remember one of our first ”fancy” dates. Shortly after we graduated high school, hubby was working his way through university and was getting his first real paycheques. He took me to a nice reservation-only steak house. I was having heart palpitations the whole time, not at the experience but at what I knew it was going to cost him! Though the food and service was great, I simply cannot justify spending hard-earned money in that way (fancy restaurants). When he asked for my honest opinion about the evening I told him, and boy, was he relieved! He wouldn’t be going to the poor house to woo me! I was an easy-going girl who wanted time, not monetary filled experiences.

Date nights for a couple with children should be about reconnecting with each other, not spending money; enjoying real time together, remembering what attracted you to each other in the first place, and perhaps re-kindling that initial spark with some TruePheromones.com products! Here are just a few date night ideas that can be done on the cheap:

  • Evening picnic with favorite foods/wine (or daytime if it’s the only time you can get away!)
  • A coffee date. Save your money, don’t bother on a full meal and enjoy a good cup of coffee/tea/hot beverage and talk about anything and everything but kids.
  • Walk/hike/bike ride. Getting exercise and being together is an easy way to make sure you’re together yet not distracted by cell phones/computers etc.

More marriages end up in divorce than not. I know my husband loves our daughter more than anything but we set time aside for each other. This summer we’re taking out first real vacation in a long time and I plan on getting a baby sitter one evening so we can have an evening out. Shhh. Don’t tell my husband 😉

It is impossibly easy to fall in love, yet impossibly hard to stay in love. Don’t be a statistic, this is your reminder to make time for your each other. A better relationship with each other will ensure you are better parents.

How do you make time for each other?  Do you have date night?

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