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Thinking About Home Again

February 1, 2011 | 3 Comments

Do I want to be a tiger lady or a stay at home mom?Christie’s post got me thinking about staying at home and being a full time mom. This is something that has crossed my mind more than once since I had my kids. It is a bit different here though. Let me go through this a bit.

I have never wanted to be a stay at home mom. I can say that without feeling any shame or guilt because it is the truth. I can say for sure that as far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a corporate big shot. I dreamed of being the Tiger Lady, just as Dianne Keaton’s character was in ‘Baby Boom’ (a movie in the 80’s that is still one of my favorites today).  When I graduated from University, I made getting to that corner office a main goal. So when I got married and had kids, you can imaging how confusing it was for me to want to stay home and to want that big time job as well. It resulted in some pretty bad mommy guilt for a while.

Today, I am a single mom of two kids. I have a 5 year old who is ending his second year of preschool and a 3 year old who will start her first this year. I now would like to have a job that I feel fulfilled in and enough time to enjoy the fruits of my labor with my kids. How ironic that now that I want this, it doesn’t seem like the choice to make right now.

Single parenting is tough

My country is not so good with single parent support. The government believes heavily in the nuclear family and does a lot to support that model. We are only now starting to join the rest of the free world in creating support for other kinds of families. As such, it is impossible to rely on government support that is enough or sustainable as a single parent.  Schools are expensive here as well. At least private ones, and these are the best here, save the national university. And again, there is nothing there to help single income households.

So, to support my little family, I have to work a full time corporate job with some writing and teaching on the side.  Again, funny how that corner office might actually be possible at a time when I may prefer to take it a little easier.

So, stay at home mom life isn’t the way to go for now. But I am optimistic that it may become the case in the future. My grandfather always said that you get what you work for, so I am working to get that laid back life with my kids.

Just thought I would share that.

What are your thoughts on being a stay-at-home parent vs a working parent?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time Tagged With: SAHM, Single Mother, Stay At Home Parent, Tiger Mom, Working Full Time

How to Decide if You Should Be an At-Home Parent

January 28, 2011 | Leave a Comment

Is being a stay-at-home mom right for you?I have always wanted to be an at-home Mom. Always! However, as my husband and I started to plan for a family, neither of us thought we could make that happen financially. We discussed that I could possibly go part time one day – maybe after baby #2.

At the time, I had been working for a family owned jewelry store for almost 9 years. I made a decent income,  was given a lot of responsibility, had fantastic customers, and a wonderful boss! It was all going pretty well and I really had no intention of leaving.

Once I finally did become pregnant – even after discovering early on that we were expecting twins – I still intended to go back to work. My boss’ Dad would say “Once you have those babies, you aren’t going to want to come back.” I would laugh and tell him that of course I would come back — how we were going to afford all those diapers anyway?

Well – right before I was due to go back to work – my husband and I did decide that I should stay home with the boys. Because I had been placed on bed rest – 3 months before the boys were born – we had to tighten up our budget even before they arrived and we decided we would be able make it work financially.

Staying home is not for everyone. People whose sense-of-self is strongly intertwined with their career, people get who depressed if they don’t get enough adult interaction, people who are not at all interested in staying home with their kids all day, or know that it would be a financial hardship on their family — might not want to become an at-home parent.

So how do you know if you are making the right decision to stay home?  Well, you have to ask yourself and your partner some important questions.

Can We Afford It?

This is usually the biggest question parents face. My husband and I thought there was no way we could manage – but what we didn’t realize – was how much money we were just frittering away. We cut back on a lot of things in the beginning; cable, dining out, and other unnecessary expenses. It was hard to go from buying what we wanted, planning for a bigger house, and getting a different vehicle — to just making do with what we had and finding ways to cut back on everything!

When we brought the babies home, they didn’t care that our house wasn’t bigger or any of the other stuff. All they cared about, is that they were surrounded by people who loved them and all their needs were met. That’s it! Admittedly, it was much harder on my husband and I — but we made it through, knowing that our boys have never had to do without. We always make it work and every year we become financially stronger.

Should I work Part-Time?

Working part-time is a great option. When the economy was really getting bad, my husband’s hours got cut at work. I decided to get a part-time job. I looked for something that wasn’t too stressful or time consuming. I found a fun job and worked there for two years. After 21 months of not being in the work force, it was nice to be back and working with the public. I’m a social person, I like people, and can talk to just about anyone. It felt good to have more adult interaction — even if I was working.

Working part-time can take away some of the guilt Moms (or Dads) can feel when they drop their child off at daycare. The child may only be there a couple of days a week and really love playing with other children. We didn’t do daycare for the boys because it wouldn’t have made sense financially – so when I was at work –  my husband was home with the boys.

Staying home also opened the door to other opportunities, I never really thought much about – like freelance writing. It’s something I have always wanted to do but never thought I could actually do professionally. I am happy to report that I was wrong. What are you most interested in and what are your talents? Could you teach a fitness class? Would you be great at selling cosmetics? Is graphic design your thing? There are many ways to make money doing what you love and still be able to stay home with your kids.

Will I Be Bored?

There is always tons stuff to do but you might get bored because you aren’t being challenged in the way that you had been at work. Especially in the beginning, it may be hard to get out and about. You probably won’t be around a lot of adults because your day will revolve around nap/feeding schedules. The first year with the boys, I really didn’t get out much at all. This can be really hard for some people – it was for me –  but I had great support which helped a lot.

The good news is, there are all kinds of groups for Moms and stay at home parents. The public library is fantastic with story times and other activities. There are groups, clubs and classes; which can get you and your children out and about.

Not everything you do has to involve your children. You can do volunteer work,  join a book club, and participate in Mom’s Night Out functions. Soon you’ll have the support of others like you.

Staying Home Vs. Working Outside the Home

Staying home involves giving up many things. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do. You have to be parent, teacher and homemaker. There is no time clock to punch when your day is done. You are on-call even in the middle of the night.

However, staying home is also the most rewarding work you will ever do. There may not be any big promotions or exciting business trips to go on but as you see your children grow, learn, and discover the world around them — your heart will become so full of joy you might think it will burst.

Going back to work will involve balancing your job, time with your kids and spouse, household chores, and everything else in between. It’s a delicate juggling act, to be sure.

In turn, going back to work can provide a sense-of-self; which some people may not feel when they stay home, you may find that you are stronger financially (which is a stress reliever), and you really make the most of each moment you do have with your family, because it is so very precious.

No matter what you decide — make sure you really think things through. Remember that all any of us can do —  is our very best. Whether you decide to stay home or work, your children will love you and your life will be extra blessed because you’re a parent.

What are your thoughts on being a stay at home parent?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Money and Finances, Parenting Tagged With: Boredom, SAHM, Stay At Home Parent, Working

Disney Princesses — Dethroned?

December 2, 2010 | 3 Comments

Disney princesses may be a think of the pastThe other day I was on Facebook – which truth be told – is a common occurrence for me. While there, I was reading through all of the things my friends and family — felt compelled to share with their friends and family on that particular day. Suddenly, I stumbled upon a link to an article that my super cool cousin posted. The first thing I noticed, was a picture of a beautiful Disney princess smiling at me; I immediately recognized that it was Cinderella. The title of the article was “Disney Will Stop Making Princess Movies Because Boys Think They’re Icky.” (If you want to read the article, just click on the title I’m referring to.)

Say what?!?

My first thought was, “That is just silly talk! Disney wouldn’t stop making princess movies. Obviously, someone is just trying to use a shocking title to draw people into their story.” That’s when I noticed my cousin’s comments to the article; “This article is disturbing on a few levels…” Well — now I had to read it!

Disney thinks that nobody wants princesses anymore

So, it seems as though Disney executives think that no one is really interested in princess movies anymore — not boys and not even girls. Apparently, they are under the impression that 5 and 6 year old girls no longer wish to be princesses; instead they just want to look “hot.” If that is true – and I pray that it is not – then that is very alarming and clearly something needs to change. Please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t think every little girl needs to spend her time watching princess movies or pretending to be a princess; but I really don’t think they need to concern themselves with being hot or cool at that age either.

Disney’s princess movies are just good, wholesome entertainment. Of course, some critics will argue that they send a message to girls, that they have to wait around for a prince to come and rescue them. First of all, I honestly don’t think that’s the case for most girls who watch them. As a former princess wanna be – and daughter of a strong and independent single mother – I never thought I needed to wait around for anyone to save me because that’s not what I was raised to believe. Secondly, I think the princess movies showcase good morals and values; something that is sadly lacking in our society — and perhaps one of the reasons girls want to be “hot” rather than proper young ladies.

Gender stereotypes

The other thing that I found disturbing in that blog post, is how some of the blame is placed on boys. Disney executives think that they can no longer make the movies – which they have been making for decades – because apparently boys all of a sudden just decided that they are “icky?”

You know what I think? I would bet that boys found princess movies just as icky – if not more – when Disney released the first princess movies. Also, boys are sent a message that if they like princess movies – and honestly referring to them as princess movies doesn’t help, but what can you do – then there is something wrong with them. I have let my boys watch Cinderella, and they like it. When I mentioned it to another mom in casual conversation – a mom of two girls – she looked at me like I was insane for letting them watch it; then she preceded followed her look with, “Really? That’s weird.” I was shocked and speechless (anyone who knows me, knows this is a rarity). Of course, once I got in the car I thought of plenty of things to say but it was too late — and I haven’t run into her since.

Yes, I know the princess stories need an update. I think that’s what Disney is doing with the new movie “Tangled,” which is a revamped version of the Rapunzel story. This movie looks like it may just capture some of the magic that Dreamworks and the Disney Pixar movies have been able to tap into in recent years. Both have released movies that have become wildly popular because; the animation is amazing, many of them appeal to both genders, and they include something for people of all ages.

I don’t think Disney needs to put out a princess movie every year, but at least every 5-10 years would be nice. Maybe I’m just old fashioned — or maybe in this fast-paced world we live in, being a little old fashion isn’t such a bad thing. I think it can keep us grounded and remind us about what is really important in life.

What do you think? Should Disney bid the princesses a fond farewell? Do you think they can amp up the action – like they have done in “Tangled” – to appeal to wider audiences?

I, for one, am looking forward to seeing “Tangled” with my boys — and when I do, I’ll let you know what we thought about it!

What do you think? Should Disney move away from princess movies or are we sending the wrong messages to our kids?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Parenting Tagged With: cinderella, disney, gender, Movies, princesses, rumors, stereotypes, Tangled

Watching Movies on the Cheap

December 1, 2010 | 2 Comments

Netflix is one way to watch movies cheapHere are a few strategies for watching movies more cheaply at home. Since I have two children, I have developed these strategies out of necessity rather than choice, including one called “how to avoid late fees.” This one hatched out of an incident when my then three-year-old daughter cried hysterically every time I tried to return Dora’s Halloween, resulting in $21.00 in fees. And it wasn’t even Halloween! Goodbye local movie store…hello Netflix!

Netflix

The beauty of Netflix is that you can keep movies at home for as long as you want. This is especially helpful if your kids get particularly attached to a particular movie and want to watch it daily until they achieve total burn-out. If you or your child simply cannot part with a movie title, you can also decide to buy the movie for $14.00 ($20.00 for Blu-ray). Depending on if it was a new release or not, this can actually be cheaper than buying the DVD new at the store. Netflix also allows for the occasional “lost in the mail” excuse, so if your DVD never arrives back to their receiving address, you will not be charged.

Plans range from $8.99 (one title out-at-a-time) to 4 out-at-a-time ($23.99). We currently have the cheapest option, but this works out great, because it also comes with the option of watching unlimited numbers of movies and television shows instantly on our PC’s. My husband picks out his choice (usually a new release) to come by mail, while the kids get to watch what they want on the laptop. Not bad for $8.99 (and no more late fees).  A new option with Netflix is instant streaming to your Wii console, which we happen to have.  If you have your Wii set up to wireless internet, you can watch Netflix selections on your television screen. Of course, you will need to make sure you have a strong internet connection through spectrum internet plans or a similar provider in your area, to ensure you can stream all your favorite movies. Gotta love technology!

Blockbuster

Most Blockbuster locations offer a membership plan that comes with one free rental per month and it is free to sign up. If you can be diligent about returning your items, this movie rental chain can be a great choice. I was also able to purchase an Indiana Jones game for Wii from Blockbuster for $14.99, after my son refused to relinquish it (do you see a pattern emerging here?). Blockbuster also sends us coupons periodically for more free movie and game rentals. Thanks, guys! Blockbuster now offers a movie delivery option as well, but it is a little more expensive than Netflix and wait times are longer, in my area, anyway, for sending and receiving movies.

Redbox Rentals

Redbox rentals are available at many grocery store chains and discount stores and are only a buck (plus tax) per night. Even if it takes you a few days to actually watch the movie, it is still cheaper than most movie rental stores. It can be tricky to find certain new releases if they are in high demand, but there is a “reserve online” option where you can put a movie title on-hold until you can get there to pick it up. If you sign up for their email newsletter, you also get a code delivered to your inbox each month for a free movie.

Movie/TV Websites

If you like watching television episodes and some older movies, there are a few great websites out there where you can watch for free:

  • Hulu
  • Fancast
  • You Tube (I am not sure of the legal issues involved here, but this can be a valuable resource for hard-to-find movies and television shows).

If it is a recently-aired television show that you seek (and you do not want to pay for DVR or TiVo), then remember to check the network’s website, as you can usually find episodes of popular shows that you might have missed. I am also hearing a lot about Roku lately, but do not know much about it.  If you have an opinion one way or the other, I’d love to hear from you!

What is your favorite way of getting movies for low cost?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Money and Finances Tagged With: Blockbuster, Cheap, DVD's, Fancast, Hulu, Movies, Netflix, Redbox, Youtube

Raising an Appreciative Child

November 23, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Teaching appreciation to kidsThanksgiving Day is almost here and it’s one of my favorite holidays. I guess that’s probably because it revolves around; family, food, and gratitude — three of my favorite things! It is really important to my husband and I, that our boys grow up to be grateful for all of the blessings that they have throughout their lives. I know that being thankful for everything they have – no matter how much or how little – will make them happier, more compassionate, well-rounded, people. In addition, having gratitude will help them through the rough patches of life.

So how does a parent go about instilling a sense of gratitude in their child? One thing you must keep in mind is children generally don’t gain a true sense of gratitude, until they are between the ages of 7-10 years old. If you haven’t noticed, little tikes tend to believe that the world revolves around them and that’s ok — it’s how they are wired. You just need to keep teaching and encouraging them and eventually it will click. Most kids learn to say “please” and “thank you” at very young ages; this is where they first start learning to express their gratitude to people.

Here are a few tips that help teach your children about gratitude:

Express it

Each and everyday set aside time where you come together as a family and say what you are thankful for. In our family, we usually do this at dinner time and it has worked very well. Our boys really look forward to this time of day. Of course we always note how thankful we are for the food we are about to enjoy, but we also like to include; our family and friends, our pets, everyone’s jobs, our home, etc.

Another thing you should – and probably already – do, is to express your thanks to your children. If your child does something without asking, be sure you let them know just how much you appreciate their help. I have been pleasantly surprised by my children when they have thanked me for things like; making dinner, finding a lost toy, or getting them a snack. Of course it doesn’t happen all the time but when it does – it warms my heart.

Also, when your children receive gifts, have them make handmade thank you notes. This really shows the gift giver just how much your child appreciates them and of course – who doesn’t love getting a handmade craft from a child? It also teaches your child the importance of acknowledging a gift.

Model it

Showing your gratitude for things other people do for you, is a great way to teach your children to be appreciative. If someone holds the door open for you, helps you with something or gives you a gift, of course you’ll want to let that person know that you are thankful, but use this as a teaching moment for your child as well. You could say “Wasn’t that nice of that lady to hold the door open for us?” or, “It was so thoughtful of Mrs. Wilkes to bring those cookies by! We should make her a thank-you card.”

Live it

Another way to express gratitude is to give to others. Be sure to include your children as much as you can when you volunteer or give to charities. Explain what you are doing and why it is important to always show you appreciate what you have, by sharing some of it with others. A few ways you can do this are:

  • Donate food to a food drive, homeless shelter, or food bank. Explain to your children that some adults and children don’t have enough food to eat and need help from other people. Take them to the store with you, and let them pick out foods they would like to donate.
  • When you clear out closets and toys boxes, let you kids know where you are taking the items they have out grown. Be sure they know that these items are going to other kids who need and appreciate them.
  • Think about what cause is closest to your heart; then get involved in some way. Donating your time can be just as important as a monetary donation. You can donate a little time or a lot of time but whatever you do, include your children whenever possible.
  • During the holidays there are a lot of “giving trees” with gift wishes for needy kids and families. If you can, have your child select a gift recipient and allow them pick out a gift. This teaches your child the importance of giving to others and makes them feel proud that they were able to help someone in need.

“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.”  -Margaret Cousins

Thank you for reading and have a very Happy Thanksgiving!!!

What have you done to teach appreciation to your children?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Holidays, Parenting Tagged With: Appreciation, Child rearing, Gratitude, Thanksgiving

Our New Baby Dinosaur Pet

November 21, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Our gecko is pretending to be a baby dinosaur
Found on DeviantArt

Well we have a new pet in the Welch household.   I got to work on Friday and one of my employees had something to show me.  Somehow, he managed to spot this tiny little 1″ lizard sitting on the concrete floor of our warehouse.  I am amazed that he was able to spot it as it’s just a baby and very very tiny.  I don’t know how it got into our warehouse, whether it came in from the outside or hitched a ride on one of the packages that arrived is a mystery but there he was.  He asked me if I wanted it to give it to my two boys and I jumped at the chance.

A gecko pretending to be a dinosaur

My oldest son, Harrison, is in full Dinosaur mode.  He loves them and can’t get enough.  If he isn’t watching Dinosaurs on TV, he is drawing them, asking us to read books about them or playing with his toy dinosaurs.  So, I lied and told him this little baby gecko is his very own baby dinosaur.  I think he knows it’s not, he knows dinosaurs are extinct and this is just a baby lizard but I don’t know for sure.  Half the time he talks about it he refers to it as a lizard but it’s those times when he pretends it’s a dinosaur that are the most fun.  Much to this tiny little baby lizards horror, Harrison was marching around the room where we have the lizards new home, roaring and trying to teach the lizard how to be a proper dinosaur.  He feels it’s his job to teach it since it doesn’t have a mommy or daddy.  Probably not the best way to acclimate this baby lizard to it’s new surroundings but it was too cute to stop right away.

Before bringing it home, I took it to the local Petco and found someone that sounded like they knew what they were talking about.  He said it’s a gecko but wasn’t sure what type of gecko it is.  He got me hooked up with the basic supplies needed to take care of it and was quite helpful.  For food, he gave me a container of live wingless fruit flies and told me to shake a few in each day.  We set the little guy up with a nice home with sand, places to hide, water and put in a few flies.  So far, all of the flies seemed to have crawled into the water dish and died.  It doesn’t look like he has eaten any and we have had him for 3 days.  It’s making me a little nervous since the kids will be crushed if their baby dinosaur dies this quickly.  Most of the info I found online concurs with what the Petco employee told me so I am just going to wait and hope that when he is hungry or thirsty enough, he will eat and drink.

My wife hates reptiles, especially snakes, so I wasn’t sure how she would take it but when she saw how tiny it was, her heart melted for the little thing.   I think she has shown more interest in it than me.

All in all, we are happy with our new addition, we have been petless since we had to put our Bulldog down a year ago and the kids have been asking for a new pet.  We are so busy and our house is so small we decided to wait a few years before getting another pet but this baby gecko is a good compromise, doesn’t take up much room and seems pretty easy to care for.

If any of you out there know anything about lizards and can tell me what type of gecko it is, I would greatly appreciate it!

Do you have any reptiles? Any care tips you can share?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Pets Tagged With: Dinosaurs, Gecko, pets, Reptiles

Great Weekend and a Start to the Holiday Season

November 15, 2010 | 1 Comment

Christmas starts for us with picking out our Christmas tree
Found on Christmasstockimages.com

I love this time of year, my two favorite holidays one right after the other.  For my family, the start of our Thanksgiving and Christmas starts with tagging our tree.   I love Thanksgiving and wish people would decorate and celebrate the coming of Thanksgiving more than they do.  It annoys me that the celebration and marketing of Christmas starts well before Thanksgiving.  With that said, it’s funny that for me, the start of the Thanksgiving holiday is getting together with my family to go and tag our Christmas tree.  It may be hypocritical but meh, I love it just the same.  Trust me, we are all in Thanksgiving mode until December hits.

Our beginning of Christmas Tradition

The four of us (me, my wife and my kids) met up with my sister and her family as well as my parents and drove out to the same Christmas tree farm we have been going to for the last couple of years.  It’s a great little family owned farm with many charms of it’s own.  The tagging is self service, you grab a tag, find a tree that you like and tag it as yours.  You don’t have to pay for the tree until you come back and pick it up.  When you do decide to go back and claim your tree, they cut it fresh, shake the loose needles off of it, wrap it up and help you load it into your car.  All for about $35 – $50 depending on the tree you pick and the size.  It’s a little more than we would pay if we went down to one of local pre-cut parking lot stands but the tradition of going and picking out our tree means much more to me than the extra $5 we spend.

After we tag our tree, we had over to a restaurant called Snuzzles.  It’s in the middle of nowhere, doesn’t even have a sign on the outside but the food, atmosphere and price is great.  At first it seems a little out of place as the whole thing looks like something you would find at a ski resort but the people are friendly and the food can’t be beat for the price.

It’s a day I look forward to every year and this year it did not disappoint.  I am part owner of an Ecommerce company and the next 4 – 6 weeks are going to be insane.  As our business grows, it’s tougher and tougher for me to enjoy the holidays.  I think that is why I cherish days like today more than I ever had before.

How do you kick off the christmas season? Where do you get your tree?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Holidays, Money and Finances Tagged With: Christmas, Christmas Tree, Holiday Season, Thanksgiving

Outdoor Activities Your Children Will Thank You For

November 14, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Jumping in a pile of leaves is just one outdoor activity your kids will enjoyPlaytime is essential to the healthy physical, social and emotional development of children. With families’ busy schedules and the increased use of technology as a form of entertainment, children are playing outside less and less. Playtime, both inside and outside, allows a child to use their imagination, which is extremely important for cognitive development. Being outside allows your child to be much more active in their play and is a change of scenery for them as well, providing their senses with different smells, sounds, sights, etc than they are exposed to inside. Here are some outdoor activities that your children will thank you for!

Classic games

If your children are not already familiar with the classic games of hide-and-seek or tag, teach them. These games are classics because all children love them, the rules are simple, and they can be played by children of all ages. They require no tools and can be played just about anywhere. These are a great way to ensure your child gets the physical activity s/he needs.

Jump in a pile of leaves

Raking is a task that needs to be completed each fall so why not have some fun with it/ Your children can play outside while you rake or they can even help by helping you bag the leaves. This is a great way to spend quality time together while also completing a chore off your to-do list. To make this task even more fun, pile the leaves up as high as you can and allow your children to jump in the pile. Children love this! Leave the very first pile of leaves for them to jump into. This provides them with extra time to play in them while you rake the rest. The leaves are easy to gather again when they are done playing in them. As an added bonus, playing in the leaves also provides for some great photo opportunities.

Wash the car together

Another great way to get something off your to do list while having fun with your children. A great way to cool off as well.

Have a picnic

Children have to eat so why not move the meal outside? You can set them up on a picnic table, if you have one, or on a blanket. Let’s face it, sometimes it is nice to not have to clean up all the crumbs from the floor too. Share a little with the animals.

Read outside

Such a simple idea but one children love. Spread a blanket on the grass and sit or lay down with your child and read, read, and read.

Go on a nature walk

Take your children on a walk or simply explore your own backyard but let them explore. Let them look at flowers, the leaves on the trees, under rocks, in puddles. It is amazing what they will discover and you may just learn a little something yourself!

Have a dance party

Hook up some music outside and let them dance, dance, dance! As a variation you can play outdoor freeze dance.

Have a water balloon fight

Water balloon fights are not something a child gets to do everyday and they are a great way to cool off. Of course, they can get out of hand without rules such as no throwing at peoples’ heads, so make sure your children know your rules ahead of time. Water balloon fights also require some preparation and clean up but they are worth it. Have the children involved in the clean up of the broken balloons. You can make it yet another game by seeing who can collect the most broken balloon pieces. Or you can assign a different color balloon to each child and have them collect only the pieces of balloon in their assigned color.

Fly a kite

Kites are relatively inexpensive and you can even make your own at home (click here) or search the internet on your own for other step-by-step instructions.

Sit or run barefoot on the grass

Children love to run around “free” and feel the grass beneath their feet. It is not something we do often enough.

Visit a construction site

I do not mean play on a construction site as we all know this is dangerous. What I mean is to walk or drive to a construction site and watch from a safe distance. This is an especially great activity for children who love building things and/or love trucks and machines.

Garden together

Whether it be a flower garden or a vegetable garden, most children love to dig in the dirt. Gardens are very educational and beautiful to look at or tasty to eat. Children love being able to pick food from their own garden and eat it for supper that night!

Use your driveway as a canvas

Thanks to sidewalk chalk and paint, children who love to draw can now use the biggest canvas they have ever seen – your driveway! These drawing substances wash off in the rain so no need to worry about any of your childrens’ creations becoming permanent fixtures. Don’t be shy! Get in on the fun with your children! Decorate the driveway as you see fit! My daughters and I have decorated the driveway for Easter, Christmas, Halloween, birthdays and many other special occasions. They also loved practising printing their names and other simple words.

Shovel the driveway together

Winter can make it much less tempting to get outside and have some fun. Adults typically cannot wait for the white stuff to go away but children love the snow. Shovelling the driveway cannot be avoided, so why not get them outside helping you? Children love to be helpful. If you have one of the scoop shovels you can always take breaks and offer your children a ride in the bucket of the shovel. My daughters love that!

Build a snowfort

My daughters are happy with snow piled up to make walls, no roof. We made snow seats for them to sit on and just left an opening for a “door”.

Build a snowman

What child does not like to build a snowman? My daughters actually own a “Snowman Kit” which was purchased for them as a gift. It comes with two pieces of coal for eyes, a plastic carrot for a nose, a black felt hat, and 3 large, black buttons. We use them everytime we build a snowman and as long as we pick up the pieces before the snowman melts or shortly thereafter, before the pieces become frozen in the snow, we always find the pieces no problem. We have had it for years and still have all of the pieces.

Have a scavenger hunt

You can hide items you already own or have purchased or you can simply have your children hunt for items you know will be easily found outside such as a rock, a leaf, a stick, etc. You can make the hunt more challenging by adding items that could very likely be found outside but are not laying around just anywhere, such as a tennis ball or a piece of ribbon, etc.

Geocaching

Check out the official geocaching website for more information on this very entertaining outdoor activity. It is basically a treasure hunt where you use GPS coordinates to find “caches” hidden by fellow geocachers. There are currently 1, 236, 409 active geocaches around the world.

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Healthy Living & Eating, Stuff to Do Tagged With: barefoot, car wash, chalk, construction site, dance, Games, Garden, Geocaching, kite, leaves, nature walk, Outdoor Play, picnic, Playtime, read, Scavenger Hunt, shoveling, snow fort, snowman, water balloon

Traveling With Children – Ideas to Make Your Trip More Enjoyable For All

November 11, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Traveling with children doesn't have to be a hassle
Found on Pixabay

Traveling with children may sometimes seem like a daunting task and it is if you expect them to sit in a car for hours on end with no entertainment whatsoever. By entertainment I am not referring to movies and video games (although they do come in handy on extremely long trips). There are many technology-free activities and ideas that can make your road trip an enjoyable one – for you and the children! Road trips are a great opportunity to spend some quality family time together.

When my daughters were only two, three and a half, and five and a half years old, our family went on an 11 hour road trip in a 7-seat mini van with one set of grandparents. There was not an empty spot in the van! We did not have a built in DVD player and our children did not own Nintendo DSs. Our two year old had a cast on her leg. Sounds like something not too many people would want to do doesn’t it? With minimal planning for an enjoyable road trip, the drive went off without a hitch – there and back! The children enjoyed it so much they were asking when we were going on our next long road trip. I came up with some of the ideas myself and found endless suggestions for games and activities and other entertainment ideas on the internet with search words like “car games” and “traveling with children”. Here is what we did.

 

Have Things to do While Traveling

We made sure to have a CD (at that time we did not have an MP3 player or an iPOD) with ALL of their favorite songs compiled onto one disc. We played this throughout the trip in the background for hours and had many, many family sing-a-longs. We packed a bag for each of our daughters as well, with their favorite things from home, that they kept by their seats on the floor of the van. This gave them the ability to self-entertain and gave us a break from constantly providing sources of entertainment.

Since we knew the drive was a long one, and even we were not that thrilled to be trapped in a vehicle for 11 hours, we made sure to try to hit the road early to make up some fast ground. This also provided us with the probability that the girls may sleep for a portion of the trip – another good way to kill some time. Our daughters have never been big sleepers, and although we were on the road before 6am, we did not get much sleeping out of them. If I remember correctly, our two year old fell asleep by nine and slept for about an hour or an hour and a half. Our three and a half year old slept for maybe 45 minutes shortly after lunch. That was it.

Breaks

No one can sit in a vehicle for eleven hours without bathroom breaks and without getting out to stretch tired legs. With children, it is even more important to do this. We made sure to include breaks as part of our trip. We timed them with lunch, for instance, and also with museums or parks we wanted to visit. This allowed us to provide our children with a definite timeline so when they asked how much longer until we stop, we were able to give them an answer, which seemed to satisfy them.

Entertainment

We made sure to play games with our daughters too. These games not only passed time for them, but for us as well. We played the ever popular “I Spy” and we also had our girls on the lookout for as many blue cars as they could find, and how many trucks they could see, etc. We looked for the letters of the alphabet, in order, on highway signs, as well as numbers, in order. With older children you can improvise these games by giving them a word such as “elephant”. They must find all of the letters, in order, on the highway signs. The first person to spell the word wins. Have them write down the name of one of the cities or towns on one of the highway signs and see who can rearrange the letters to spell the most words. Older children may also enjoy trying to find license plates from all 50 of the United States and/or all 10 provinces and 3 territories of Canada.

We did bring along a couple of portable DVD players and the older girls did end up watching one movie each, during the final hours of the trip. However, the highlight of their road trip was the surprise bags they got every hour of the trip! Thanks to the Dollar Store, I was able to purchase some inexpensive toys and activities to surprise them with. It was really fun shopping for things I knew they would like and it did not cost me much when it came right down to it. Before we left on our trip, I labelled twenty-two paper bags for each daughter – eleven for the trip there and eleven for the way back. I filled three or four of them with a juice box and snacks they do not typically get to eat at home. That way I knew they would be getting a snack every couple of hours. I filled about three bags with toys or books or activities I already had at home that they had not used in a while. They were excited to see them when they opened the bags and enjoyed them just as much as the stuff I bought new from the Dollar Store. My two year old loved to play with socks so I actually put a couple of pairs of socks in one of her bags and she entertained herself by putting them on and off both her hands and her feet! I filled all but one of the rest of the bags with items I had purchased at the Dollar Store. One of the biggest hits was colored pipe cleaners! I bought one package of 20 – 40 pipe cleaners and divided them up between my three daughters. They had great fun twisting them into different creations such as candy canes, letters of the alphabet and butterflies!

I only purchased one brand new bigger, more potentially expensive, toy for each of my girls, which was a mini Littlest Pet Shop kit that folds up for travel. Luckily, I had gotten them on sale a few months earlier, knowing I was planning to buy them something for this road trip. They received them in one of the first few bags of the road trip and they played with them on the road trip there, at the house we were staying at, on all the little road trips once we reached our destination, and on the way back too. They still play with them now, two years later, so they were well worth the money.

Road trips with children can be very successful and rewarding with very little planning and very little money spent. I am speaking from experience.

What other tips do you have for traveling with children?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Stuff to Do Tagged With: car games, music, Portable DVD player, Road Trip, Travel, Traveling with Children

How to Choose the Perfect Pet for Your Family

November 9, 2010 | Leave a Comment

The old hound
Image on DeviantArt

Choosing the right pet for your family can be a tough decision and it should never be taken lightly. It’s not like going out to buy a sweater, or even a car; this is a commitment to take care of another living creature for the rest of its life. When you bring home a pet – you are making a promise – to provide it with whatever it needs to live a full, happy, and healthy life. You need to do a lot of research, ask yourselves some important questions, and really search your hearts to decide which pet is right for your family.

Here are just a few of the questions you should start to ask yourself – and your family – as you begin the search for your newest family member:

  • Why do we want a pet?
  • Who will take care of it?
  • Do we want a pet that will require a lot love and attention?
  • How will the pet impact our family life (traveling, cost, time)?
  • Do you have space for the pet?
  • Can you and will you provide everything your pet needs? They depend on you for almost everything.

There are so many types of pets available to suit just about anyone’s lifestyle. Let’s examine some of these, based on how much maintenance and care they require.

Low Maintenence Pets

These pets are perfect for a first time pet family. They will require minimal care. They aren’t the snuggly cuddly type of pet that will want to be touched or played with a lot. You can love them, you can care about them, but the less you mess with them, the happier they will be. Some examples of a low maintenance pets are:

  • Fish
  • Lizards
  • Hermit Crabs
  • Snakes

Remember, low maintenance, does not mean — no maintenance!!! You still have to care for these pets and provide them with the best environment possible, so they will thrive.

Medium maintenance pets

These pets require a little more maintenance as far as their care is concerned. Generally, you’ll want to dedicate around 30 minutes to cleaning and feeding them each day. Even though there isn’t a lot of care that goes into these pets, most of them still need your attention and most importantly your love. The more love you give them, the more they will love you back, and enrich your lives.

  • Cats
  • Small birds
  • Small animals (hamsters, gerbils, rats, mice, guinea pigs, etc.)
  • Rabbits

High maintenance pets

Dogs are a high maintenance pet but to their owners, they are worth every single second of it. Dogs have many requirements and you have to be particularly diligent in educating yourselves, to find the breed (or mixed breed) that is right for your family. Far too many dogs end up in shelters or worse, because people don’t take the time to find out if they are capable of such a responsibility.

Some dogs are small and do well in small spaces, other dogs need to do a lot of running and some are happiest when they are working. You have to keep in mind how much time you can spend with them and the activity level of your family as well. Many dogs can suffer from separation anxiety and they can become destructive because they are bored or simply miss you. Their diet is also highly important, and you’ll need to give them the correct food such as Nature’s Blend by Dr. Marty, as well as treats when the moment is appropriate. With proper training, quality care, and lots of love, you will have a loyal family member, who values you more than you may ever know. If you can’t make them an important and highly cherished family member then you should probably find a different type of pet.

Dogs require:

  • Daily feeding, grooming and walking
  • Obedience training
  • Love, Love, Love
  • They need someone to take care of them when you go away on vacation
  • They need regular vet visits to keep them healthy

There is so much that goes into selecting the right pet. I urge you to go to your local library, surf the web, talk to your friends about their pets, go to pet stores, contact local rescues and humane societies to do research (volunteering is a fantastic way to help the animals and get a feel for what really goes into pet parenting), and obtain all the information you can before you add a pet to your family.

One more thing I’d like to add; there are so many pet rescues that have pets just waiting to go to their forever homes. They don’t just have dogs and cats; many have a variety of animals. Some pet stores will even have small animals, birds, fish or reptiles that have been relinquished by their owners, which are also for adoption. Open your heart, open your home and most of all love and enjoy your pets.

Do you have a pet? How did you choose which one to get for your family?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Pets Tagged With: birds, cats, dogs, fish, pet ownership, pet parenting, pets, small animals

Teaching Volunteer Values to Your Children

November 7, 2010 | Leave a Comment

kids volunteering with dogAs the winter holidays approaches, it seems as though the entire world works itself into a frenzy of giving, both financially and in other ways. Regardless of your family’s traditions or spiritual beliefs, the winter holidays can be a great time of year to teach one of the most valuable lessons you can teach your children: how to love.

Set The Example

We constantly tell our children to be nice, to be polite, to share, to give, to be kind. But as with any other lesson, it is important to set the example you want your children to emulate. The winter holidays are a time for giving, loving and sharing; to teach this to your children, it’s important to get them involved with giving, loving and sharing with the community.

Unfortunately, it can be a lot harder to find ways to give when you are keeping a strict budget. Cold and wet weather are also seen as deterrents to volunteering, especially when dealing with small children. Yet, there are a lot of ways to get your kids in the mind frame of giving back without having to brave freezing temperatures or spend a fortune.

Here are a few key points to remember when seeking volunteer opportunities with your children:

  • Focus on the message. To start brain-storming ideas for your children, begin by zeroing in on exactly what you want to teach them. Why do you think that it is important to volunteer? How you answer that question will impact the activities you choose. For example, if your family is religious, you may want to choose an activity with a religious message. Look for an organization with religion-related events.
  • Find something fun! If you choose tedious, boring work for you children to partake in, you may be inadvertently teaching them that volunteering is tedious and boring. These jobs, such as sorting clothes or sitting at a booth, are still important; but you may want to start the experience with fun activities and gradually sprinkle in these less exciting opportunities.
  • Be prepared to field questions from your children. Helping out in a soup kitchen can be a lot of fun, but younger children won’t understand the concept of not having a home. Do some thinking before taking your children to places like this, and be prepared with answers in advance so you aren’t caught off guard. This also goes for domestic violence shelters, terminally-ill hospital wards, or any particularly heart-wrenching situation. These places are what make volunteering so special: but it is a heavy message to teach. Don’t necessarily shy away from it, but prepare yourself and your children as best as you can, which may mean waiting another year or so.
  • Make home-made holiday cards for residents of a nursing home or hospital.
  • Play with Animals.  Take your children to the local Humane Society and spend an hour playing with the animals.
  • Pick out a toy to take to the Salvation Army or Goodwill. All of these activities cost relatively little, but teach a clear and positive message.

If you do decide that you want to do an activity that costs more money, get your children involved in a family piggy bank dedicated to the holiday season. Even a dollar a week can buy Thanksgiving dinner for several families, a winter coat for a child in need, or mittens for dozens of children.

Do you volunteer with your children? How did you teach the value of giving back?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Parenting Tagged With: Charity, volunteer, Volunteer Work

Fun and Inexpensive Outings with the Kids

November 4, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Enjoying the outdoors is a great free family activity
Found on Pixabay

Fun and inexpensive outings with the kids are not hard to find if you know where to look. With the prices of pretty much everything on the rise an outing can become very expensive if we are not careful. Of course doing new things with the kids that will not break the bank can be just as fun.

Using your imagination and being creative can find a lot of fun. Many times at the end of the most inexpensive outings the family will have spent quality time together and probably learned a few new things along the way.

Enjoy the Outdoors

Enjoying the outdoors is one of the things that many families enjoy and the wonders that can be found by a child’s eyes are endless. Nature walks can be a very rewarding outing. Enjoying the trails with the family and actually getting away from the rush of everyday life can be relaxing. Watching the little ones marvel at things they find along the trail can sometimes make us adults see things like they are new again. A child picking up a leaves and actually studying it is amazing. As adults we are often so busy that we miss a lot.

Visit the Library

The local library is also a great place to bring our children. Many libraries hold classes for the kids that are free of charge. Although the class may be once a week and only last an hour it is worth it. If your child is older the class is done without the parent. Again, it may only be an hour but an hour of free time at the library can be worth it for Mom and Dad!

To the Beach!

For those families that live near beaches but do not want to pay the parking or costs to enter the best time to go is at dusk. The beach is nearly empty and there is no charge to get in. Pack sandwiches and snacks and you are ready for a beach almost all to yourself.

Bus Station

Little boys (and some girls) love buses and trucks or pretty much any type of transportation for that matter. Imagine the little ones face when you roll into a bus station and go to see the buses. Pure delight, cost free.

Build Something Fun

Anyone have a builder on his or her hands? Many of the home improvement stores have free classes for the tikes and for the parents too (hate to have Dad feel left out). The classes may be held mainly on the weekends but again the cost can’t be beat.

Quality time with our families does not have to be expensive. The things that cost the least can be the best and smiles are flowing freely. How we spend our time with our children is not how much money we spend to have fun with them. Childhood memories are not made of how much money parents spent occupying us. Childhood memories consist of loving moments that were spent together knowing we were and are cherished.

What free and cheap family activities do you do with your family?

Brian
Brian

Brian is the founder of Kids Ain’t Cheap and is now sharing his journey through parenthood.

 
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Filed Under: Family Time, Stuff to Do Tagged With: Activities, Beach, Build, Bus Station, Cheap, Library, Nature Walks, Outdoors, outings

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