Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Toddlers and Television: Keeping TV Time Minimized with a Schedule

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toddlers and tvThere is a growing concern for the amount of screen time children should be restricted to, and rightfully so. This includes TV’s, computers and other devices like phones.

If a child is partaking in these activities they are not doing more time valuable things like reading books or exploring the word around them. While I couldn’t agree more with this concern, we do allow our two year old to watch some television. While I do think too much TV time is detrimental for many developmental reasons, I don’t think a little bit is harmful and if anything could be (gasp) beneficial depending on what it is your child is watching.

How We Structure TV Time

The TV time in our house is limited to a few minutes in the morning and evening. This works well for us. When we wake in the morning, after I get my daughter ready for the day I allow her to watch one 20 minute TV show that was pre-recorded allowing my husband and I to grab showers and get dressed. The same is for the evening when we get home from the day. While I’m prepping supper, and my husband is tying up loose ends from his work day (which is almost always brings home) we allow another 20 min episode to give us time to get everything organized.

After the show is over the TV goes off and she has the options of playing, coloring or reading her books. I don’t like her jumping right into toys and books as soon as we get home because it makes a mess just as we’re trying to get organized. She also usually wants one or both of us to engage with her when playing (she’s an only child) so we need those few minutes to deal with our stuff so we can devout attention to her and the amazing block tower she built for us.

Hand Picking Shows

My husband and I have also gone through and hand-picked the shows we allow her to watch. There is a lot of really bad, and just plain dumb television shows for children. If she’s going to be watching something it has to be fun but also reasonably educational. We have our favorites and have pre-recorded a few episodes of each.

Our daughter knows that watching TV is a special treat of sorts. While we’d never disallow books, if she has a bad attitude or doesn’t listen to us she won’t be allowed to watch television.

Our experience with the shows we’ve picked for her has been positive. She’s learned things from the shows that she tries to teach us. Just the other day she told me a kangaroo was a marsupial and that airplanes have engines. While they’re simple lessons she has fun watching the shows, learning about new things and proud of herself for telling mom and dad about her new-found knowledge.

Books and playtime should always take priority over any screen time but I am of the opinion that it’s not a bad thing once in a while, I’d rather know exactly where she is while I’m in the shower than worrying about her tearing the house apart!

Do you allow any screen time for your toddler?

How Do You Know When You’re Ready For Baby Number Two?

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having a second childMy husband and I were lucky in the sense that we didn’t get much slack from our family and friends about when the baby was coming as soon as we were married. We managed to enjoy each other’s company for three years before baby was born and we had a lot of baby-free fun. It is my opinion that, when possible, it is important that a couple to really get to know each other before welcoming someone else into the family.

In our three years pre-kid we got our house in order and had fun with friends and family, partaking on a few vacations that would otherwise be difficult with a child. Until we had our daughter we didn’t know just how empty our lives were.

Having our daughter was the best thing that ever happened to, not just my husband and I, but for our entire family. We were still healing the wounds from a very difficult year and she light our world up. She was proof that good things can and do happen in this world. I really don’t think there is a perfect time for a child but sometimes things have a way of working themselves out to seem so.

Though she was very much planned we weren’t prepared entirely. We were overwhelmed with how little we were prepared but in the end managed to scramble though my challenging pregnancy and follow-up maternity leave. When it comes time to have number two, how will we know when we’re ready?

There is nothing wrong with only having one child (there’s also absolutely nothing wrong with electing to have no children) and for the first 18 months of our daughter’s life we thought we may be done. We loved our little trio and didn’t want to disrupt our routines. We slowly came to the realization that we would in fact, eventually, try for another. Our sisters are our best friends and if we can provide that relationship for our daughter that would make us happy, but when, and how, will we know when it is the best time to add to our family?

Our Finances

We are comfortable with our current expenses. I can tell you we would not be comfortable increasing our daycare budget by much though. Until our debt is paid off by a significant amount, if not entirely, we will not be able to comfortably afford another child. If we have a son, we will also need to provide some things our daughter didn’t have, like a new wardrobe. Though I’m fine with a potential son playing with his sister’s toys, I draw the line at wearing dresses. We also need to be prepared for me potentially being put off work early again. Beefing up our emergency fund will be necessary.

My Health

I would be really upset if I got pregnant right now. Though I am healthy by definition, until I lose at least 15 more pounds I wouldn’t be comfortable going through another pregnancy.

Our Daughter

Prepping our first-born for the potential arrival of a sibling will take time. Even though we’re years from having a second child (two to three) we’ve already started asking her if she’d like a sibling. Planting the seed that there very well may be a new baby in the future. It doesn’t have to be overwhelming and you do have nine months of pregnancy to also introduce the child to upcoming change.

There is no perfect time for a child. There will always be that thing on your list that seems more important but that doesn’t mean you can’t be as prepared as possible for if and when it does happen.

Will Having Another Baby Be Cheaper the Second Time Around?

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second childIn the last few months my husband and I are coming closer and closer to the conclusion that we will likely have another baby. Not for a few more years but if we have any control over the situation we would like to have another. More for the fact that we want our daughter to have a sibling. Both my husband and I are very close to our sisters and we want our daughter to have that relationship too. Though not the only reason, a big reason we’re choosing to wait to have more kids though is that kids aren’t cheap!

I really don’t think kids have to be as expensive as some would make them out to be but they’re still far from free. The two biggest expenses we need to consider is me being on maternity leave for upwards of a year (and losing some of my income) and daycare.

Preparing the Monthly Budget

 

Ideally we have another child at the same time our older daughter is preparing to start school. Once our daughter is in school she will no longer need full-time care and likely just a few hours in the afternoon until my husband and I are off work. This will save us hundreds of dollars a month for her current daycare cost. Having an older child in school while the younger is in daycare will definitely be the cheapest option in terms of saving on daycare costs initially.

As we come closer to preparing for me to be on maternity leave our monthly budget will look much better as we will have a significant amount of debt paid off as well. The peace of mind that comes with not having additional debt payments while on a reduced income will be great!

Saving on Baby Stuff

Most of the toys and baby items we bought and received as gifts for our daughter were very gender neutral which will save on upfront costs (and even if they’re not I have no issue with my potential son playing with his older sisters pink toys). There are very few baby ‘’items’’ we would need if we have another child. If we have a son we would need some clothes (most second-hand) as our daughter’s wardrobe is very girly and I draw the line at riding her pink motorcycle.

If possible, I will breastfeed again saving on formula and because we already own a pump and storage bags I wouldn’t need to re-purchase these.

Other than things like new savings account for post-secondary which will come with any future child, the other costs will be very limited. We will eventually need a second bed for him or her and some clothes, but because we have chosen to keep all of our current child’s things there is very little we actually need. Paying off our debt will also ensure I have a stress free maternity leave!

Did you spend less on your second baby than you did buying things for your first child?

4 Tips to Prepare Kids for an At-Home Emergency

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at-home emergenciesThe other day while my husband was at soccer, I was home while my daughter was in bed sleeping. I was prepping meals for the next day which included cooking up some bacon. I always cook my bacon on parchment paper in the oven. When it was done, I removed the greasy tray only to have the parchment paper slide on the tray splashing hot bacon grease down my forearm and hand.

Though it hurt, a lot, I wasn’t in any immediate danger but it did get me thinking about me being alone with my daughter and what I may do if it was a bigger deal. How prepared would she be? In our specific case, she’s only two so there’s not a whole lot she can do but as she gets a little older there will be things she needs to learn and understand to help prepare for emergency situations.

First Aid Help

Every home should have a first aid kit in an easily accessible location. Not just for the kids but in case of actual emergency you’ll want to get to it, fast! Our first aid kit is in a bright red zippered bag in our hall closet. It is sitting on the lowest shelf where, if I needed my daughter’s help she would be able to understand based on simple commands like ‘’get red bag’’. I’ve already started explaining that we don’t use the bag unless we absolutely need to if we’re hurt (to limit how often she attempts to access it).

Emergency First Aid and CPR

I think it is important that both children and adults take an emergency first aid and CPR course. This was part of my babysitting course when I was eleven years old and have maintained it since. Not all kids take this course, nor do they necessarily maintain their certification. More and more employers are requiring this upon employment and rightfully so, you never know when you may find yourself in a situation that may need either CPR or emergency first aid and being equipped will only help the situation.

Fire Exits

Children should know where to go in case of fire. Stress how important it is that they get out and not attempt to take anything should they find themselves in a situation.

911

When I was in the fourth grade, my friends thought it would be funny to prank-call 911. Yeah, we learned our lesson really fast. I seem to recall my friend’s mom (the chaperone) making us to yard work for her to pay the fine she was charged. To be fair, I really didn’t understand 911 or the real importance of it. When children are young, talk to them about what it is and how and when an appropriate time to use it is. As they get older explain the difference between true emergency and non-urgent care (911 vs. a call into a family doctor).

Having an emergency at home can be a scary and stressful time, more so on children because they often don’t understand what’s going on. If you prepare them for such situations it can make a stressful situation much better.

How have you prepared your children for an emergency situation at home?

Is Your Family Prepared For an Emergency?

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prepare for an emergencyThough it’s early in the season, we currently have our first hurricane among us.

Where I live geographically doesn’t get many hurricanes, and when we do they’re usually quite downgraded, but we do still get a few tail-ends and post tropical storms being on the coast. It wasn’t long ago that we were hit quite hard and had thousands of dollars worth of damage done. Our city as a whole received a huge wakeup call from Mother Nature and we no longer mess around!

Since living through the first bad hurricane 11 years ago, and many post tropical and winter storms, we have become quite educated in the emergency preparedness department. There are the basics that most people remember like having food and water on hand but there are many more steps into assuring your family will be safe and sustainable for a few days with potentially no power for you, or your entire city.

Prep Your Property

Make sure you ”baton down all the hatches”. Clear your decks, porches and yards of any debris. A lot of the damage done in our last storm was from flying debris. If you have time and can predict stuff like low-lying tree branches that may break, deal with them. Bring outdoor plants inside and secure all furniture that can’t move.

Medication/Medical Supplies

During the hurricane a few years ago, pretty much our entire city was without power for at least a few days. Pharmacies had to close, and people were running out of medication. I remember my mom, who is a pharmacist, going into work and losing thousands of dollars worth of refrigerated stock.  She was also playing ”catch up” and dealing with people who had run out and may not have been in the best medical condition. In today’s technology, storms are usually pretty well predicted. Listen to any warnings and make sure you stock up on any medication for you and your family at least for a few days. Also have a first aid kit on hand.

Baby Supplies

If you have a baby, stock up on supplies like diapers, wipes, Tylenol, Advil and benedryl, you never know what may happen! If you cloth diaper, buy disposable to have on hand since you may not be able to do laundry to wash your cloth.

Propane/Gas

If you have access to a BBQ, even a small camping stove, make sure you have some propane on hand. We relied on this mode of cooking for almost a full week during the last bad storm and as we prepare today for power loss I know we had a mode to cook some food. Also make sure you have a full tank of gas because there’s a possibility the gas stations may not be open!

Power Sources

Obviously power loss is a big deal in storms. Have backup batteries, candles, lighters, solar chargers and ideally a solar-powered radio. You can really never have enough batteries on hand. Also think about kids toys which may require batteries, if you have no power and need to keep them entertained, batteries may be required for your sanity 😉

Entertainment

Make sure you know where family fun stuff is. Books, games, cards, coloring books. This is also good in case you are required to leave your house and need to grab some things relatively quick.

Pet Supplies

This is all too overlooked. Heck, I just did it this week. Though I didn’t forget the food I did forget to buy kitty litter so hoping if we lose power it isn’t for long and can get to a store in the next day or so! Again, if you have to leave make sure you’re not looking for the pets cage or carrier. I know our cat carrier is often buried in a closet somewhere.

Though storms, no matter how well predicted can still be very unpredictable when they actually hit it doesn’t hurt to be prepared! And no, I don’t believe you can ever be too prepared.

How do you stay prepared for emergencies?

 

A Rant About Mother’s Day Gifts

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a mother's day rantMaybe it’s because I didn’t pay much attention to the ads until this year, being my second Mother’s day celebration. Maybe it was because growing up, making homemade gifts for special occasions was the only option, not ever noticing ads.

I don’t know why but this year more than ever, there seems to be a huge amount of what I would consider inappropriate ads for special occasions, Mother’s day being just one.

Mother’s Day Ads Gone Overboard

I caught a local ad on TV advertising that what mom ”really wants” is this luxury vehicle for Mother’s day. Really? A car? For Mother’s day?! Not only is this just insane to me, it gives the message of ”Thanks Mom for driving us around all day, mind-as-well have a comfortable bum while it continues”. Who buys mom a car for Mother’s day?!

Mother’s day is important. Moms work hard. While I don’t want to discredit Dad, my experience (both as a mom and child) is that there is generally more pressure on mom. More pressure to keep the house running, nursing, feeding, parenting, mom’s do it all, no questions asked.

What a Mom Really Wants

Taking a single day every year to make sure moms are acknowledged is important. Don’t let Mother’s day excuse you from doing it more often though 🙂 Mom doesn’t want a car. Any mom, I don’t care about demographic, ethnicity or race, doesn’t want a lavish gift such as a car. Mom wants time.

Time that is usually consumed by doing dishes, taking to practice, running the house. Mom wants one day where she has every second of her day to enjoy however she wants. For me I was able to take a nap, for no reason other than I could. Had extra cuddles with my daughter while I let her watch one of her favorite shows just so I could hold her while she was still.

Time outside running around the park. Time with my family while we ate a yummy dinner prepared by my husband. It was a beautiful day and while my daughter did get me a gift (a vegetable garden made by dad which my daughter and I will enjoy together) the best gift given to me was time. While I still did some cleaning and got some laundry done, it was on my own accord and I was able to accomplish everything I wanted.

Moms don’t need cars and diamond rings. They want time for themselves. Time with their family and general acknowledgment that what they do is recognized. Showering mom in foolish expensive gifts is a cop-out. The effort you put in to making anything will be much better received than any gift in which you merely had to swipe a card for. If mom needs a new car, sure, work it out so she gets one, but disguising it as a Mother’s day gift is an injustice to your mom.

Going forward for future years, make sure you spend time with mom. Make her something to the best of your abilities. Tell her you love her. She doesn’t really need that silly materialistic item regardless of what the advertises will have you believe.

What do you think is an appropriate gift for mothers day?

5 Expenses Every Family Can Save On

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5 Expenses Every Family Can Save OnHaving to provide for a family is expensive. There are more mouths to feed, kids to clothe and activities to attend. Families are often looking for areas to save but sometimes are at a loss about where to start. There are many areas a family could look at cutting back on or eliminating all together in an effort to balance a family budget.

Clothes

Before I buy anything I always check the local thrift store first. Women’s and children’s clothes especially. Women are always gaining and losing weight, often buying, and then discarding, perfecting good and sometimes new clothes for others to capitalize on! Children just grow like weeds so rarely get more than a few months worth of an item anyway.

Utilities

I already spoke about cutting back on cable options (eliminating everything entirely also being an option). Other options for saving on utility costs are to look into energy savings. Everything from upgrading cheaper options like energy-efficient light bulbs, to more expensive options like upgrading to energy-efficient appliances. All will help with your monthly bottom line.

Transportation

Have a good look at your transportation costs. Do you really need a second car. Could you make one vehicle work? Is there a way to save on gas? Carpooling? Public transit? We sold my car before we moved into our current home. Though it would be hugely convenient sometimes to have that second car, especially with my commute and a child, we can’t justify the added expense. Even with a paid-off car we need to consider gas, insurance and maintenance costs.

Food

Food expenses can get out of control in any sized family. I can’t stress enough how important meal planning is. Not only will it save your sanity it will help your budget immensely. We used to easily spend $650 per month of groceries for our family of three (plus cat). Now, an expensive month is $450 and that usually includes topping up some supplies and on-off items.

I can’t think of any other way to maintain a decent diet and in-check budget without meal planning. It makes all aspects of your life easier! Also look into buying bulk for items you consume a lot of. We go through a lot of berries, bananas and broccoli for example so always buy them at a wholesaler instead. We also find stuff like toilet paper and laundry soap generally cheaper at wholesaler prices.

Don’t Buy Cheap Stuff

This sounds counterintuitive but if you waste your money on cheap crap, you will ultimately end up spending more money. Saving up for quality usually saves money in then end. Some things you can get away with a cheaper version but other things are worth saving for. You decide if the item in question is worth saving for or a cheaper version will do.

I for example would never buy my growing child expensive clothes when I can shop at thrift stores or places like Target knowing it won’t fit in like three months and will have plenty of play encrusted in it.  I would however invest in pieces for myself or husband that I know we’ll get a lot of wear out of.

How do you save on family expenses?

Frugal Easter Fun For Kids

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frugal easter fun for kidsI don’t know where the last four months went but suddenly I find myself looking for fun Easter activities for the kids in the family. This year is the first year our daughter will be old enough to really have fun with it so we’re excited to see her reaction to the whole thing.

Growing up my memories include going to church and rushing home to search high and low for the hidden treats the Easter bunny had left. If Easter fell late enough in the year, as it does this year, our fun was almost always outside. All the kids in the family would spend hours looking for hidden treats in the yard. This continued well past us believing the Easter bunny, we still had fun with it all (as grown adults my in-laws still insist on giving us treats!).

In planning our Easter this year, the first place I looked for inspiration was Pinterest, an Easter idea Mecca! I’m hopeful that we should be able to plan a few outdoor activities if Mother Nature cooperates!

Bunny-Hop Hopscotch

This wasn’t anything I found on Pinterest rather something we did as kids. My aunt would draw a few hopscotch patterns on her driveway where we kids would spend hours hopping around, with bunny ears on our heads. This was of little cost. She would give us cheap bunny ears to wear (pre dollar store days, she would make them from construction paper, such as this, but you can buy them at dollar stores now). If the weather isn’t good you can make a hopscotch game with painters tape or masking tape on the floor.

Glow in the dark Egg Hunt

This is a new-to-me idea where you fill little plastic Easter eggs (again, cheap from any craft or dollar store) with flexible glow sticks and treats and search for them in the dark. Though this would be a super fun idea to do outside when the kids are a little older, I’m planning on doing it inside after dinner since it will still be light outside when kiddo goes to bed. Shutting the blinds and making it dark in the basement while searching for glowing eggs should be a fun game.

Treat Decorating

Decorating cookies, gingerbread houses and cupcakes is something we always did at Christmas, never any other time of the year which was sort of silly in hindsight. I plan on making simple sugar cookies or cupcakes for dessert and providing Easter appropriate ‘decorations’ for the kids to have fun with. There’s certainly no shortage of your choice of favorite Easter candy decorations!

Though Easter is traditionally a religious holiday it’s always nice to have fun with it, especially with kids. There’s no reason why you need to spend a lot of money though. Have fun on the cheap, kids are more interested in playing and spending time with family than they are monetary value!

Do you do anything special at Easter for family fun?

How to Deal With Your Child’s Wants and Needs

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how to deal with your childs wantsMy daughter is still young enough that she doesn’t know what she wants yet (I’m find myself reigning my husband in from buying things for our daughter that she thinks she wants and needs ;), he always means well though!).

As she gets older I am fully prepared to have to explain that she can’t have everything she wants all the time. From both a financial and personal development stance, kids need to understand that things aren’t free. Hard work goes into affording all the things they desire and need.

Younger Years

While she’s still pre-school aged, as mentioned she doesn’t want much but she still desires some things.

We were walking through a store the other day and she was pointing towards the cookies in the bakery section. While the cookies only cost $3 they weren’t on the grocery list and a totally unnecessary item to buy. While buying them would have been much easier than listening to her whine the rest of the trip, I needed her to understand that she can’t get something just because she asks for it. I’m not suggesting sporadic treats once and a while aren’t nice but for us this was a moment I needed her to see she can’t always get something for asking.

On a separate occasion my husband went to the store for  few items, solo, and came home with a few toys for kiddo. Toys we hadn’t budgeted for but, in his defense they were on an incredible sale. Instead of just giving them to her we opted to use them for future gifts taking from future ”budgets”. Both Easter and her birthday are approaching so we decided to wait and use them for one of these dates instead and reallocate the funds when time comes.

School Aged Kids

A patient of mine has a twelve year old son who decided that he wanted to go on two school trips this year. Both out of province and both quite expensive. Being a single mom with three kids she told him she was limited in what she could contribute and made it clear that if he wanted these trips he was 100% on the hook to pay for them through fundraising events and side jobs.

Mom explained that this was an amazing experience for them.

She had her doubts but her son has reached his goal for one trip and only has $350 left to raise for his second trip. He’s shoveled driveways each storm, walking blocks to get people to pay him, gathered recyclables for refunds ($0.05/can here) and participated in every available fundraising event. Other than the $100 retainer fee mom had to pay to hold his spot for the trips he will be 100% paying his way, all thanks to a little lot of hard work.

Finding ways to make money before the legal working age of 16 is difficult but not impossible. Mom mentioned she was fully prepared to pay him to help with odd jobs that are over and above his daily chores but she hasn’t had to yet. Mom is super proud of his hard work and he’s even more proud of himself knowing he’s going on these trips totally paid for himself, a grand total of almost $2,500.

Any Age

Kids want things other than objects. They want to play organized sports, take music lessons, art classes and travel. No age is too young to have them understand they can’t necessarily do it all, especially if mom and dad are paying. Next summer our daughter will be enrolled in preschool soccer in the summer and dance in the winter. If she decides she wants to do something else instead she will likely have to decide what she wants more because we won’t be in a position to  pay for everything she wants.

There’s a fine line between giving your kids an experience and giving them something just because they want it. Make sure you’re able to recognize the difference before deciding what is important to them and your family.

How Do You Deal With Your Child’s Wants?

At What Age Should Your Child Get a ”Big Ticket” Gift?

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Children and Big Ticket GiftsWhen speaking to my friend the other day about Christmas plans, she was detailing what she bought her eight year old for gifts. Included was a laptop. When I inquired about why the eight year old was getting a laptop, she explained that the current family computer wasn’t ”up to speed” in terms of processing for what the girl needed to accomplish school related projects. Knowing that the computer she was talking about was only three years old (since I was with her when she bought it) I called her bluff. I mean surely an eight year old isn’t doing that much computer related homework?And if she is, I’m confident that it doesn’t require that much processing power, let’s be honest! She fessed up that the kid wanted it so they were buying it, and that knowing she would be using it for school made her feel better and that’s what she had to tell herself to justify the purchase.

Am I alone in thinking if you have to justify purchasing an item, and if you’re not totally comfortable with it for whatever reason (an eight year old getting a $500 computer in this instance) that maybe you shouldn’t be buying it?

The other item that comes to mind is cell phones. I didn’t grow up with a cell phone, I didn’t have my first cell phone until university. I relied on the landlines at locations or using my friend’s parent’s cell phones (because there was no way my friends had phones of their own, that was unheard of).  Though I can’t imagine my life now without one, I also can’t imagine my young child having access to her own iPhone. It blows my mind how many young kids (less than 15) I see with these devices, although they may just be hand-me-downs from older siblings, which I can see the sense behind. Cell Phone Deal even suggests handing your own old phone down to your kid, which is a good idea if your old phone still works well enough to be used in emergencies. While I suspect when my little one is old enough to venture out away from mom and dad, we will get her an emergency only/call-mom-and-dad cell phone, I will not be buying her a $500 ‘phone’ that requires a $70+ monthly contract to be attached to it. If she wants one of those she can get herself a job and pay for it herself. Especially since I don’t think it is necessary that a younger that 16-year-old even have access to a device like this.

I understand that it is 2014 and things have changed a lot in the last few years, but there is no way an eight year old needs access to her own laptop or a ten-year-old needs the latest iPhone/Android/whatever. It is difficult to balance parenting, trends, and your child’s wants versus  needs. I’m not suggesting you don’t buy wants for your children because a lot of what we buy for our kids as gifts are wants and not needs (toys etc) but we need to set realistic expectations for our kids. They need to understand when they want certain things they need to be willing to contribute towards the item since mom and dad are not open wallets.

At what age do you think it is appropriate to buy kids large items like cell phones, TVs and computers, if at all?

Cherishing Moments

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Cherishing Special MomentsThe world we live in is moving at mach one. We’re constantly looking to do things faster, more efficient, better. While most of these things are, in my opinion, a good thing, I forget all too often to just live in the moment. I’m always looking forward at point B, not fully experiencing point A.

These past few weeks in particular, my little girl has been super needy. When I’m around she wants mommy. Wants to be held. Wants her blankie. Wants her ”babies” (stuffed animals). Wants attention.

While she has been a bit overly needy because she hasn’t been feeling 100% and is cutting some nasty teeth, I still need to be there for her and I admit, it’s been hard. My phone is constantly going off with both professional and personal notifications. The laundry needs to get done. I need to get groceries. The list of distractions goes on…

This past week in particular, I’ve felt more run down than I have in a long time. My husband injured his leg a week ago and is pretty much totally out of commission. I’ve been working super hard at work because we’re down two employees for different medical related reasons and finally this weekend my immune system took over. I haven’t felt this terrible since before my pregnancy. I officially have no voice, my entire body aches and I’m more than tired.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because I was kicked in the butt this weekend and forced to slow down. The laundry would have to wait. My eyes are too blurry to look at my phone. I can’t get groceries while kid is napping because I needed to nap myself. I didn’t get anything done and we’re still all alive. Everything can wait. For once in a long time I paused. I sat on the couch with my daughter, a cup of tea and 3725 stuffed animals, snuggled under a blankie while my daughter, not even two, reached over and grabbed my hand.

We sat there for a while watching Saturday afternoon cartoons and held hands. She needed me. I needed her and we both needed to just relax together. It was only a brief moment but she grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight, looking at me as if almost to say ”thanks mom, I need you more than laundry/phone/groceries”.

I full heartily believe we as parents can raise better children if we are more engaged in their world.  I admit that I’m constantly trying to make her needs work among my own needs and my busy world. There may be 23 other things I need to get done on my day off but none are more important than me showing my daughter she is the most important thing to me and if she wants to sit with me and watch a cartoon or color with her I’ll do it, distraction free.

Life can wait, cherishing moments cannot.

When’s the last time you slowed down?

Top 3 Priorities For Great Parenting

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great parenting tipsParenting is a big job for everyone who starts a family, but that does not mean that parents can do everything alone. With simple tips and tricks, parents can bring up their kids to be successful students, hard workers and well-rounded people. A combination of academic assistance, real world experience and motivation can change a kid’s life from average to extraordinary almost overnight.

Education and Test Preparation

Every student will be subjected to a massive number of standardized tests of their time in school. However, not every student performs well on these tests without help. Investing in test and academic preparation with Barron Test Prep can help a student to learn how to take standardized tests effectively without feeling stressed or over-burdened.

Academic and study assistance can also help students to pass classes that they would otherwise fail due to poor teaching or poor curriculum. With a study helper, every student can get through the most difficult and stressful classes they can take in school. Without this assistance, students cannot learn how to get through tough classes, graduate high school and college and become successful in life.

Choice Activities

Every child should have the chance to participate in different activities throughout their life. However, a child should not be over-burdened with the activities that they participate in. Children should be given activity options that include sports, musical instrument lessons and lessons in foreign languages.

Students should get a choice of activities that they can become highly proficient in. When a child has the opportunity to become a great baseball player and a great clarinetist, they are not distracted by the myriad other activities on their plate. Children should be given the chance to be great, but they cannot be great at everything all at the same time.

Freedom

When students are given the freedom to be themselves, they are able to more fruitful and more successful in life. The unfortunate reality of parenting children is that they eventually grow up and leave the house. However, they must learn how to be themselves before they are sent out into the real world to fend for themselves.

Even when parents are investing in academic prep courses and music lessons, the child still needs a chance to be free to do what they want. Children need time to be with their friends, to go to parties, to have sleepovers and to just be kids.

Parents are charged with making sure that their kids are ready to leave the nest, but kids are never going to be ready to leave the nest if they are sheltered and coddled.

When parents are looking at the best ways to help their children thrive, they must consider all the possible options out there. Children should be given all the academic assistance they need to succeed in life. Children should also be given a chance to excel at sports, music and languages so that they have something that distinguishes them from their peers. Finally, children must be allowed to be themselves and discover who they are.

When parents give their children all of this help, children grow up to be healthy, happy and comfortable adults who can thrive with children and families of their own.

What other tips do you have?

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