Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Dealing With Picky Eaters

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picky eaterWhen I found out I was pregnant I was one of those parents who obsessively read and researched everything. Even after she was born I was still researching like mad, over everything. Well almost everything. One topic has me totally lost. Feeding my almost two year old. Feeding my child has become one of the biggest stressors in my life. I’ve dealt with my share of parental stress since becoming pregnant but nothing could prepare me for the consistent stress of trying to feed my child.

She will eat most fruits, most of the time. Is picky with her vegetables. Outright refuses any and all meat which is fine but finding protein and iron substitutes can be a headache of its own. She loves cheese, bread products and pasta sauce. Try putting the three together, a-la homemade mini pizza, and it’s not happening. She loves peas except when I want to put them in something. Everyday is an adventure at meal time.

Throughout the stress of feeding I have discovered a few tips that make feeding a picky eater slightly easier.

 

Let Grazing Happen

With the exception of almost always being up for eating breakfast, I’ve discovered she’s not much for wanting a traditional lunch and dinner. Though I don’t necessarily like this, I’ve accepted she would much rather have smaller meals or snacks throughout the day. Rather than giving her a traditional lunch I usually pack a bunch of healthy snacks instead. Sometimes I’ll try something like a sandwich but most days it’s a combination of fruit, yogurt and something like whole wheat crackers and cheese. This way she can eat at her pace while still getting some nutrients.

 

Get Creative

Given that she doesn’t like meat by itself, but will eat pasta I’ll try to ”hide” meat in stuff like pasta sauce or chili. She also likes smoothies and mixed fruit so it’s easy to hide stuff she normally wouldn’t eat like kale. I’ve discovered she likes to ”dip” things so have tried making stuff like homemade tofu or chicken  nuggets and give her ketchup to dip in. She’s also accepted hummus as a cracker dip. A  newspaper recently printed a brownie recipe which though contains some cocoa is actually made with beans and quinoa, something I’m sure she will eat and sneak a little protein into her treat!

 

Two Bite Rule

I’ve received the suggestion, and plan to implement, that all foods (new or not) require a two bite rule. She must try two bites before she will be allowed to ‘leave the table’ but is welcome to eat as much that is offered to her. It is said that children take many attempts of a new food before they accept it into their diet. One of my frustrations is that if I do something as simple as use a different shape pasta she won’t even try it, outright refusing it before realizing she will like it. With a two bite rule she will likely try to realize that she does like it. The two bite rule sets boundaries as parents but still gives the child some freedom to make decisions.

Dealing with a picky eater is very frustrating but with a little accommodation it doesn’t have to be as bad. Pay attention to your child’s eating patterns and try to adapt them within your lifestyle, without turning yourself into a short order cook!

Gender Identity and Children’s Toys – My Rant

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Gender Identity ToysI have a very sweet almost 19 month old little girl. She is a little girl in almost every way: angelic face (though don’t let that fool you), sweet voice, even wears a pink sparkly tutu sometimes. She truly is a little girl through and through. Also, she adores Thomas the Tank Engine more than anything in the world. She sees a train and yells ”Tommy!” in a crazy excited voice as if she may never see  him again.

On the contrast, I have a good friend who has a little girl who hates pink. Hates sparkles. Hates everything ”girly”. She’s four. She wears jeans, a cool leather jacket and dressed up as Spiderman this past Halloween. Seemingly totally on her own, she identifies herself as a ”tomboy” and looks up to her older male cousins.

Why must we as a society have any issue with either of these situations?

My husband, daughter and I were recently at the store buying our kiddo a small Thomas train (imagine her gripping it with all her might as we approach the cash), we had to pull her hands apart to get the toy free and pass it to the older lady working the cash.

”Oh that’s sweet, you must be buying this toy for a little brother maybe? (looking at us parents for some assurance), it seems as though you care very much about the toy” says the cashier.

”No” I replied, ”It’s for her, she adores Thomas (insert my snarkiness)”

”Oh, it’s just that usually only little boys play with trains…”

We paid and left (me uttering comments under my breath).

Why, must we as a society place gender roles on things like toys?! In this case we’re talking about a train. A really cute little train with more train friends and a cute show both her father and I approve of.

I cannot even begin to tell you the comments my friend got for ”allowing” her daughter to wear a Spiderman costume at Halloween. Comments as crazy as she’s ruining her little girl to stuff about later regret in life when she comes home a lesbian.

Again, what in the world is wrong with people?! Why can’t a cute little four-year-old act like a superhero and dress up like Spiderman? I’d much rather raise an ass-kicking daughter than a pathetic little princess awaiting some prince charming to rescue her, that’s for sure.

Being a parent has opened my eyes to many more worldly issues I, as a non-parent, was totally ignorant to. I grew up playing with toys. Toys bought from the toy section of the store. Not the girl section or boy section, just the toy section. It was recently brought to my attention that even birthday cards for little kids (<2-year-old) was divided by boy cards and girl cards, how about we just have a ”birthday card” section. I don’t want my daughter ever feeling weird for picking a ”boy card” for her girl friend. This is an issues, I as a parent shouldn’t have to worry about.

We are placing unnecessary stigma in children’s heads and it needs to stop. Plain and simple.

My Best Advice For New Moms

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best advice for new momsThree of my friends are either pregnant or recently had their first babies. 18 months in for me, and they’re looking to me for support and advice. Though I hardly feel like I’m an expert, new moms like to talk, read and connect with other moms regardless of their ”expertise”.

Being a mom is, without a doubt, the hardest thing you will ever do. It will challenge you emotionally, physically and spiritually in ways you didn’t know possible. I don’t want to sound like I am excluding fathers from this but being a mom is different. The relationship your child has with you, will be different then the relationship they have with their father. Not good or bad, just different. Mom is mom and the challenges that face us are different. We will also face challenges united, as a parenting team, but you as a mom will face challenges with your child that the father will never truly understand (reciprocal is also true).

 

Take Care of Your Emotions

The relationship you form with your child is quick and intense. You grew this baby inside you for nine months. For me, after she was born, there was an awkward adjustment period of getting over the fact that I was no longer pregnant and nurturing this baby inside me. Sure she was now on the outside, which is all I wanted, and I was caring for her, but it took me a week or so of getting over not being pregnant. I can see how easily some women could fall into postpartum depression, for me it was weird and sort of sad. I was not at all prepared for the emotional changes that took place in the first day or so.

I can say without a doubt that breastfeeding helped me keep these emotions in check. I know there are circumstances preventing some women from being able to breastfeed, but if you can, do it. Breastfeeding is a hard skill to master but once you get a hang of it, it is an amazing experience. Once you can relax it becomes almost meditative. Breastfeeding is what helped me bond with my baby and move past the ”I’m no longer pregnant” emotions.

 

Nurture Your Marriage

Give your spouse attention. Married or not they need attention. The first year or marriage is a cakewalk compared to the first year with your first child. Talk about it all you want but until you become parents you have no idea what the other person will be like as a parent. My husband continues to surprise me and I’ve known him almost 15 years.

My experience is that my husband felt sort of useless the first few months. I was breastfeeding which meant me doing all the feedings and since I was off on maternity leave for the year, I was doing almost all of the child care duties (diapers etc). He was working full-time and supported us in other ways (breaks, even just for a shower, helping with meals, laundry) but not being directly involved with the child duties, especially feeding in a breastfeeding relationship, is tough on dad.

Dad needs reassurance that you’re still his wife. He will see you flourish as a mom but he also needs to be reminded that your his wife too. Don’t let your marriage (or relationship) get put on the back burner when you become a mom. Get a babysitter, even for an hour during a nap and be with each other, without baby. It’s hard at first but you both need it. Trust me.

 

Roll With The Punches

Before becoming a mom, I would admire all the mothers in my life and think, how do they do it? How do they have all the answers and know so much? I’ve learned very quickly that there’s a lot of rolling with the punches, making it up as you go and most importantly, being in tune with your child.

Only you as parents will really know the exact distinction between cries and understand their non-verbal language. You see a baby crying in a store and all you hear is crying. A mom knows the difference between pain, frustration, overtired or want/need something. This innate skill is what makes parents look so informed.

Being a parent is hard but so rewarding. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Raising Polite, Responsible Kids

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polite childrenThis past weekend, my daughter and I headed over to a friend’s house so our two little ones could play while we got caught up on the details of our lives. We started talking about a friend of ours and how her daughter, now six, had developed quite an attitude. Her mom and our friend, lets this little girl run her life. There is nothing this little girl doesn’t get. If she wants a chocolate bar for breakfast, she’ll eventually get it. If she wants to stay up until 11pm watching cartoons, she will.

Obviously I feel like this is an extreme case of bad parenting but I see aspects of this in many kids. I don’t know what or when it happened but sometime during my generation (30ish years) parents totally lost control. Please note that I am by no means trying to seem like I’m some sort of perfect parent, but one thing I will do is enforce and demand a few things of my child such as structure, rules and politeness, none of which this little girl has.

 

The Pleases and Thank You’s

My daughter is only 17 months and some of the first words I’m demanding she learn, are ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. I see kids everyday at my job (dentistry) and rarely do the children say please or thank you even if I give them a treat such a sticker or small toy. I’ve become so used to it I almost expect to not hear it. It’s such a simple thing but teaching simple manners like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ can go a long way.

Children learn from exposure. Anytime my daughter does something I ask of her (”please pass something to mommy”, ”could you pick up your toy, please?”) I always include ”please” and end with a ”thank you”. Even though she is just learning to talk she is beginning to understand what the two mean.

 

Chores

I have so many friends and family with kids who don’t enforce chores. I feel like chores are a huge part of development. The children help with the maintenance of the family home, while learning that there are expectations of them within this life.

My daughter may be young but she already has ”chores”. She helps me unload the dishwasher by me allowing her to take out the silverware and pass them to me one-by-one and I place them in the drawer. It takes about five times longer this way, but I appreciate her helping me and her learning that she is helping me. She also helps me feed the cat. I measure out the cat’s food, pass her the scoop and she dumps it in the bowl. She loves helping mommy. Again I always make sure to  thank her when she helps.

If you start young, and implement guidelines and responsibilities for your kids, your life will be much easier. Start with the basics and the more difficult tasks will be much easier. There’s nothing nicer than a young child knowing to say please and thank you without their parents needing to encourage them (though I like an encouraged please and thank you over none any day). Being polite and nice will go a long way in this world. Setting a strong foundation in childhood will be a life long help.

Do you encourage your children with manners and please/thank you?

How to Make it Through Your First Year of Breastfeeding

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breastfeedingBreastfeeding was something that was very important to me. Though I respect women who chose not to for whatever reason, for me and my family, breastfeeding was the answer. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I started reading anything and everything I could about pregnancy and raising a child. Especially looking for as much information I could about breastfeeding and what to expect since it was so important to me.

 

Get Help Early

There are a ton of resources out there, too many actually. It is very easy to get overwhelmed. Though there is a lot of valuable information out there but here is a lot of misleading and downright terrible advice as well. If breastfeeding is something you want to master, and don’t think for one second this isn’t a learned skill, establish it in the hospital. If you have a home birth, make sure you have a Douala, midwife or your doctor help you before they leave. The first few hours and days are crucial to establishing good breastfeeding techniques. The nurses at our hospital were amazing and really helped us. When we were sent home, we had access to public health nurses who specialized in lactation and breastfeeding which was another great resource. Ask and accept all the professional help you can in the early days!

 

The First Three Months

The first 10-12 weeks we’re anything but easy for me. It hurt, a lot, and was exhausting. Through help (in my case, nurses and a temporary shield) I was able to get through it. I remember my daughter going through a growth spurt around eight weeks and doing nothing but nursing for almost 36 hours. She literally nursed non-stop for three days. I was exhausted and wanted to cry, actually I did cry, multiple times. My husband was frustrated because he couldn’t help me with it and I was milliseconds away from telling him to go to the store and buy formula.

I’m so glad I persevered though. I stuck with it, through the pain and frustration and made it through those dreadful first three months. I know not everyone’s experience will be the same but most women I chat with, who have breastfed, agree that the first 10-12 weeks are the most difficult. So my advice is that if you can stick with it, nursing on demand as much as they want it gets easier after the first few weeks.

 

Get Over It

I got over nursing in public early on. I realized that if I was going to have any sort of life, breastfeeding in public was going to be apart of my life. I nursed while grocery shopping, at restaurants and in many other public places. I always chose to use a cover or nurse in my sling for my own modesty, but do whatever you feel comfortable with. In today’s age of Miley Cyrus public performances and barely there women’s clothing, breastfeeding should be a total non issue.

 

Enjoy It!

Even through the hard times, breastfeeding has been one of, if not my favorite part of being a mom. The closeness that we shared because of it was amazing. There is nothing like secluding yourself and your baby away to cuddle and nurse.

I chose to let my daughter self ween but do what works for you and your family. I’m fortunate being in Canada and getting a year maternity leave so it was easy for me to make it to the critical one year mark. She weened herself about five weeks later, just lost interest. Probably because she got use to being away from me at daycare and was slowly nursing less. I could tell she was ready.

Breastfeeding is an amazing experience, it can be very difficult but us women are equipped to do it, power though the tough times, it’s so worth it!

What tips and tricks did you use to get through breastfeeding?

Children and Computer Safety

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kids computer timeSince having a child, I have become increasingly aware of the world around me. I can’t read the newspaper or listen to the news without something bothering me. Something that gives me a stark reminder of the world we live in. Though we parents we try our hardest to protect our children, we can’t always be with them.

With schools all over the world commencing this month, children will soon be flocking to internet resources for both school projects and sheer enjoyment. The internet is a realm that we as parents will have one of the most difficult challenges in terms of protection. We now have to worry about stuff like cyber-bullying and sickos praying on children.

As parents, it is so important that we implement computer-use guidelines early on and make sure they are reinforced.

 

Password and Location

I am of the opinion that passwords, especially in young children, need to be shared. We need to know what is going on with our children and computer time. If children are young (less than high school) they don’t need their own computer. Even in today’s computer driven world, a home-based family computer will do. Place the computer in a family friendly area where you can’ easily see what they are doing. Make sure it’s in a spot they can get some quite time if doing homework but not locked away in their bedroom.

There should be 100% transparency with what happens during computer time. Everything from homework to Facebook. The computer is not the place to be sharing private or personal information. Your child should have nothing to hide and gladly share all passwords with you. Children need privacy but the internet is not that place to do it. Encourage them to write in a diary or talk on the phone with friends. Make sure the understand the importance of never sharing anything private.

 

Limit Time

While I respect that kids need computer time for homework, kids in general spend way too much time in front of screens. Set a realistic time limit to how much screen time they are allowed per day and abide by it. Make sure children regularly engage in activities that don’t involve technology. Cooking, sports, drawing, reading, something other than retina-burning screens.

 

Who Do They ‘Friend’?

Facebook (and all other social media) brings a whole new level of safety concerns onto my radar as a mom. You can connect with people all over the world and quickly find out everything about them in an instant. Make sure you pay attention to your child’s social media accounts. Check in on them regularly and make sure you know who they are talking to. As a parent you should know everyone on their social media sites. If you don’t know who someone is (classmate, friend-of-friend), find out.

With the rate that technology accelerates it will be so important as parents to stay on top of everything. There’s a fine line between protecting your child and invading their privacy, but I don’t think the internet is a place where private information should be shared and children need to understand that. If guidelines are laid out early on, there will be much less resistance and more mutual respect.

What is your take on computer safety and children?

The Importance of Date Night

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Importance of Date NightBefore I had a child, I never put much thought into date nights with hubby, they always just had a way of happening. They were never fancy but since we didn’t have a child to tend to, we had a lot of time for each other. I remember my aunt telling me at my baby shower to make sure I paid attention to myself and my relationship with my husband or it may dwindle away. She was right. Not that the relationship with my husband is going away but it has certainly changed. It is so important that we remind each other what our relationship was like before having kids.

Our daughter is the center of our universe. 99% of our conversations are about her or our family. If the conversations aren’t about her, they’re about our budget, schedule, work, nothing exciting. Five years ago this wasn’t the case. Five years ago we were planning our life and dreams out. We were connecting in different ways. While I expect our relationship to grow and change as it evolves, it’s still important to remember, and pay respect to, the foundations that brought us together.

 

Date Night Doesn’t Have to be Expensive

I remember one of our first ”fancy” dates. Shortly after we graduated high school, hubby was working his way through university and was getting his first real paycheques. He took me to a nice reservation-only steak house. I was having heart palpitations the whole time, not at the experience but at what I knew it was going to cost him! Though the food and service was great, I simply cannot justify spending hard-earned money in that way (fancy restaurants). When he asked for my honest opinion about the evening I told him, and boy, was he relieved! He wouldn’t be going to the poor house to woo me! I was an easy-going girl who wanted time, not monetary filled experiences.

Date nights for a couple with children should be about reconnecting with each other, not spending money; enjoying real time together, remembering what attracted you to each other in the first place, and perhaps re-kindling that initial spark with some TruePheromones.com products! Here are just a few date night ideas that can be done on the cheap:

  • Evening picnic with favorite foods/wine (or daytime if it’s the only time you can get away!)
  • A coffee date. Save your money, don’t bother on a full meal and enjoy a good cup of coffee/tea/hot beverage and talk about anything and everything but kids.
  • Walk/hike/bike ride. Getting exercise and being together is an easy way to make sure you’re together yet not distracted by cell phones/computers etc.

More marriages end up in divorce than not. I know my husband loves our daughter more than anything but we set time aside for each other. This summer we’re taking out first real vacation in a long time and I plan on getting a baby sitter one evening so we can have an evening out. Shhh. Don’t tell my husband 😉

It is impossibly easy to fall in love, yet impossibly hard to stay in love. Don’t be a statistic, this is your reminder to make time for your each other. A better relationship with each other will ensure you are better parents.

How do you make time for each other?  Do you have date night?

Our Family Bed – A Solution for Sleep

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family bedThis is a post I never thought I would write. A family bed was a totally foreign concept to me before having a baby. I didn’t know that people choose to sleep with their child – that it was a thing. If you had asked me before having a child if they would sleep with us, I would think you were crazy and quickly answer, no. My husband and I didn’t intentionally set out to establish a family bed with our daughter, it just sort of happened.  I learned firsthand the importance of sleep and structure.

 

How Our Family Bed Started…

It started while I was in the hospital recovering from my cesarean section. Our new baby was in the bassinet beside my hospital bed, my husband asleep in his bed near my feet. Baby girl would wake and I would need to nurse her. Shifting, even a little after my surgery was difficult, only complicated more by tubes and wires. I didn’t want to wake my husband knowing I needed him on his A-game during the daytime. I had access to nurses but at 2am I decided their skills were better for new moms who needed them beyond passing a baby. I reached for her one last time and brought her into my bed, propped with pillows and tight in my arms, we both fell asleep almost instantly.

We came home and quickly realized I would not be able to sleep in our bed for a least a few days. Our bed is quite high off the ground and even with the help of a stool I couldn’t easily pull myself in bed. I decided to sleep on our couch until I regained more strength and have the baby in her bassinet beside me.

After about ten days, I was finally able to get into my bed and moved the bassinet in our room where we all slept. I knew I wanted our baby close for the first few months but didn’t realize how close I wanted her.

Our baby girl was very predictable, waking every three hours on the dot. She would wake in the night and I would lift her out of her bassinet, carry her to the chair where I would nurse her and rock her back to sleep praying that she didn’t wake as soon as she was out of my arms and back in her bassinet.

From the time we both woke until the time I crawled back into bed was at least  45 minutes. I didn’t mind initially, fulling expecting and accepting lost sleep with a baby. Problem being that baby girl was starting to wake almost every 2 hours with little sleep between wake times. We were both exhausted.

After a few weeks of rocking and praying for her to sleep, one especially exhausting night I couldn’t find the strength in me to wake up and move for our normal routine. I picked her up out of her bassinet, laid her down beside me to nurse where she ate and we both quickly fell back asleep. I could sleep on my side curled around her, it was great. In terms of comfort, the side is usually the best sleeping position, but can vary depending on the person. We all, husband included, slept great that night.

 

Getting Back Sleep With The Family Bed

This was the beginning. I would try her in the bassinet but usually ended up moving her in with us so we could all sleep. Baby girl and I would both continue to slightly wake when she would eat but never fully and never for long. It wasn’t long that we all grew to love our sleeping arrangement and I would put her down for the night in our bed, hours before my husband and I were ready for bed.

Today she is eight months old and this is still how we sleep the majority of the time. She now goes to bed in her crib but when she wakes during the night I don’t fight her. If I can’t get her back to sleep in a reasonable time, she comes to bed with us. I’ve accepted that there is no perfect solution for every family and for us, this works. She’s growing so fast I know I’ll appreciate the closeness that we’re sharing, as a family,  in her early days. I love waking to her slobbery kisses and blabbering.

Do you have a family bed at home?  Did you try it when nursing?

Read More:

Choosing a Bed: Sleep Number vs Tempurpedic

Breastfeeding at Work?

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breastfeedingRecently in our local news, a restaurant owner was chastised for breastfeeding her son while at work. The local health department came in and handed her a letter of complaint after a restaurant- goer complained that she was breastfeeding at work, specifically while helping clear a table after someones meal had finished. Not because of any actual health hazard or issues with her kitchen, but because she was breastfeeding at work.

 

Conflict

Let me explain that here in Nova Scotia it is a human right to breastfeed where ever and whenever a woman chooses to (although it makes me sad when stories like this continue to arise). This human right is not only backed and supported by our health department, but very much publicly encouraged; this is where an even bigger issue presents itself. One sector of our health department is telling her, and all women, to breastfeed anywhere and everywhere while another sector is conflicting telling her to breastfeed privately and not at her place on employment, a restaurant.

 

My Thoughts

As a mother who has exclusively breastfed my baby for over six months now I have to commend this woman for continuing to breastfeed her son at eight months while working full-time, running a successful restaurant. Breastfeeding on demand is no easy task especially if you have work to get done. Breastfeeding mothers will tell you they very quickly learn to become excellent multitaskers. If we were forced to sit and hide in private every time our child needed FOOD we’d spend more than half our child’s waking hours cooped up in our houses, getting nothing accomplished.

In terms of this particular article- she was clearing a table at the restaurant she owns while breastfeeding her son. WHY DO WE CARE?!

Someone argued that it would be weird to have their groceries rang in buy a cashier who was breastfeeding at the same time. This isn’t even remotely close to the same thing. She is the owner of a restaurant who comes and goes throughout the day. She happened to have her son with her, he happened to be hungry, and she, at the same time, saw an opportunity to help her employees by clearing a table for them. It’s not like she was waitressing while breastfeeding juggling her pad of paper in one hand and baby in the other. She was lending a hand, multitasking, while popping into her restaurant.

Source: Ali and the World

In a society where it is perfectly acceptable to have nearly naked women displayed in our shopping malls, on billboards and on TV, I have a hard time accepting that there is still any issue with breastfeeding in public places. When a baby is latched on and nursing, you see less breast than most popular low-cut women’s shirts yet it is still labeled as disgusting or thought it should be done in the privacy of your home only.

As a fellow breastfeeding mom, I can testify that we find ourselves doing so many things while breastfeeding our child literally becomes an extension of our own bodies, we get to a point where we don’t even notice them. I am certain that this was the case here.

The issue I have isn’t so much that the health department went to her restaurant, they have a public responsibility to check all complaints, the issue is that a complaint was even made.

What are your thoughts?

 

The Summer Job That Prepped Me For Motherhood

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NannyDuring my undergraduate degree I worked part-time at a local pharmacy as a pharmacy technician. I loved this job. I got to interact with so many different people every day, working with the public is certainly anything but boring, especially in healthcare. One particular summer, the job wasn’t able to offer me the full-time hours I had received during the previous years due to new FT permanent hires; being a university student and not a ‘lifer’, I was low on the totem pole. It was no secret to my employer and fellow employees I was actively pursuing a second job that wouldn’t interfere with my current one. During a conversation with one of our regular customers, I came to find out she and her husband were in the process of looking for a nanny. She had just finished her pediatric residency in a big city and was moving home to settle down and start her new job as an emergency room pediatrician. She wanted to know if I knew of anyone looking. Well, in fact, I did.

Hire Me!

The words, ‘hire me’ came out of my mouth before I even knew what the job entailed. What did I know about kids?! I was 21, babysat my cousins a few times but I certainly didn’t consider myself confident enough to mind a 23 and 4 month old on a full-time basis for the five months leading up to my classes starting back up. I had NO idea what I had just signed up for.

She did hire me. She liked me at the pharmacy, knew my boss on a personal basis, and had way more confidence in my abilities than I did.

I was scared. to. death.

When she and her husband were at work, I was 100% responsible for these two amazing little kids. What if something happened? Their MOM would be the ER doctor! What if the kids didn’t like me?! What if I managed to totally screw up their lives somehow?! What if…

Learning as I Went

I quickly learned I had to let go of the ”what if’s” and just go with it. I was thrown into the fire so-to-speak and am so glad. Even in the dreaded long hours of dealing with a colicky 4 month old baby girl who was unknowingly fighting a severe lactose allergy from moms breast milk, I quickly grew to love those two kids.

Between the nannying and pharmacy job, I was working over 80 hour weeks. It was exhausting but I loved every minute of it.

I grew up thinking parents and caregivers alike had some sort of manual they were able to refer to, but it became clear to me very quickly that although it appeared they were experts, they were totally winging it.

Raising Children Makes You Mature

Providing childcare is a very humbling job. Children force the youth and silliness out of you. You try maturely playing with a 23 month old; he’ll have you on the floor playing ‘ride the horse’ faster than you know, and know what? You’ll enjoy it. Being able to make a child smile, especially from the simplest of things, is one of life’s greatest rewards. What are simple silly tasks for an adult, bring happiness and memories for a child.

The summer all too quickly came to an end. I remember putting the little boy to bed on what I knew would be my last night there, he snuggled in bed with me as I read him stories and I quietly cried as he said ‘Goodnight and I love you, Catherine’. I loved him too and would miss our fun-filled days together playing with his baby sister. His mom and I cried some more before I left that night, these two kids taught me so much more than diaper changes and stain removal techniques. They brought the ‘mom’ out of me.

I can honestly say that summer prepped me in so many ways for becoming a mother. Being a first time mom, people would often ask during my pregnancy if I was scared or nervous for all that motherhood was sure to entail. I was confidently able to say ‘no’. I knew I could do it, I was taught by the best 23 and 4 month old teachers this world had to offer.

Have you ever had a job that helped you prepare to become a parent?

How to Teach Kids to Stay Safe Without Scaring Them

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Stranger Safety DVD for teaching kids 4 & up to stay safeFor the past year or so I have been trying to figure out how to teach my boys about stranger safety. In preschool last year they learned all about fire safety and how to call 911. Their teacher explained that if something happened to me – like I fell and hit my head in the shower – they would need to call 911 to get help. I was really glad they talked about it because I hadn’t really thought about teaching them any of that. For the next few weeks following their safety lesson, the boys would ask if I was going to fall and hit my head every time I got into the shower. So, even though I knew they need to learn how to stay safe, I didn’t want to scare them. However, I also realized that if something happened to them because I didn’t properly educate them on how to be safe — well, I would never be able to forgive myself.

Stranger Safety

I now realize that it is imperative that they learn about stranger safety – whether it scares them or not – so I decided to bite the bullet and just do it. But how? How do I explain the difference between strangers, people they know and the handful of adults who Chris and I would entrust them with? This is a tough concept for little ones, so I went in search of something that might help me to at least start the conversation.

The first item I had was a Winnie the Pooh book called Safe at Home with Pooh. I actually didn’t buy this book with the intention of teaching the boys stranger safety. I just bought a stack of with books from the consignment store and it wasn’t until they asked me to read it that I realized what the book was about. It teaches kids not to talk to strangers and never to open the door to strangers (something I have mentioned that I don’t even do). The book was easy for them to understand and it helped get the conversation started about strangers and being safe.

As I was researching materials that might help me teach the boys about stranger safety I happened upon the website: The Safe Side. I was delighted to see two familiar faces smiling back at me. The first was John Walsh, the host of America’s Most Wanted and one of the founders and key supporters of  the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. The other face I recognized was Julie Clark — the creator of Baby Einstein. These are two people who I believe to have the best interest of children in mind and the experience to create a program that would give children the tools they need to stay safe and to do it in an entertaining way.

Checking it Out

Of course, I decided to watch the program before the boys did just to make sure I thought it was age appropriate for them. I was relieved to see that it was highly entertaining and really great at teaching kids about “Don’t Knows” folks who are strangers and “Kind-of Knows” pretty much everyone else your child might interact with such as coaches, teachers, neighbors, family friends, doctors, librarians, etc.
>N was actually very reluctant to watch the video, which made me hesitate a bit but I knew we really just needed to watch it and start discussing how to stay safe. I told him that if he thought it was too scary I would turn it off. Since I watched it before they did, I knew that they would think that “Safe Side Superchick” was really funny. She provides really important information and does so in a fun and completely goofy way. The boys both loved it and they actually asked to watch it again today. We had fun not only discussing what they should do when certain situations happen but acting it out as well.

Another thing the video recommends is that you pick three adults who you completely trust with the well being of your child and put them on a list. This way if something happens and you cannot get to your child, they will know it is okay to go with one of these people but no one else! Then there is a clear distinction of who it is okay to go with unless you (their Safe Side Adult) tell them it’s okay or they ask permission first.

Internet Safety

Internet Safety DVD for teaching kids 6 & up to stay safeThey even have a Safe Side video all about internet safety. This isn’t really an issue for us right now because the boys don’t use the computer but I will probably have them watch this once they are a little older. The only thing is it might be outdated because it’s from 2006 but I’m sure the basic tips are still relevant.

So my plan is to keep talking about how to stay safe, letting them know that they can come to their Dad or I if something doesn’t seem right or makes them uncomfortable and that it is okay to yell fight, hit, kick and whatever else they need to do if someone ever grabbed them. By teaching them about safety I hope that this will help the boys to be prepared if God forbid something did happen!

So what have you done to teach your kids about stranger safety? What books, programs or websites have you used? I’d love to hear what others have done or recommend!

Keep Your Kids Artwork without Cluttering Your Home or Spending Money

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display kids artworkThe school year will be wrapping up shortly, which means if you aren’t already inundated with your little ones artwork and projects, you soon will be.  While you may cherish the artwork your little darling produces, the fact is that they produce A LOT of artwork, and if you don’t do something, it will seemingly overrun the house!

Here are several ways you could choose to handle your child’s artwork, depending on your personality and minimalist inclinations:

Display then toss

Some moms display the artwork for a few days or weeks some place such as the refrigerator, and then they toss it and make way for the next group of projects.  If you are not sentimental about the artwork, this is an excellent way to keep kids’ projects under control.

Let your child choose

Keep a small box, maybe about 2 or 3 inches deep and a little larger than 8.5 x 11 inches, and designate it the place where your child can keep all of her artwork from home and school.  She is in charge of what she saves.  When the box is full, some must go out before new artwork can be saved.  Then she will be able to keep her favorites but throw away those that don’t matter to her.

Just save the milestone projects

You could choose to just save the milestone projects such as birthday cards or Mother’s Day cards your child makes for you.  My mom hates clutter, and that is what she did.  Each one of her children has about five or six cards, letters and special works that we made for my mom, which she keeps in our baby book.  As an adult, I like to look at these cards, but I doubt I would want tub after tub of my artwork to go through.

Turn it into a photo album or virtual scrapbook

When your child brings home works of art, take a digital photo of the picture.  Then, when you have enough photos, get them turned into a custom made photo books. It’s easy to do and you don’t need to enroll in graphic design courses to put one together. Of course, you can do this any time of the year, but you can really save money by waiting until right before Mother’s Day or Christmas when many companies offer deeply discounted or free photo books.  Using this method, your child can look back on their artwork, but very little space is needed.

Keep it all

If you just can’t bear to part with any of your child’s work, buy storage tubs and keep them somewhere out of the way like the basement.  This obviously takes the most space, but if you are sentimental, it might be the solution for you.

Kids are prolific artists, and as parents, we want to cherish all of their works.  However, there are simple ways you can still encourage their artistic endeavors and keep the clutter out of the house without spending a lot of money.  Pick the method that works best for you to tame the artwork clutter.

How do you save your children’s artwork?

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