Kids Ain't Cheap

But They Sure Are Worth It

Should Boomers Stop Expecting Grandkids from Their Adult Children?

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Child holding tablet with his grandfather
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For many Baby Boomers, becoming a grandparent feels like the natural next step in life. When adult children delay—or decide against—starting families of their own, it can stir up disappointment, confusion, even grief.

Yet Millennials and Gen Z face economic pressures and lifestyle shifts Boomers never imagined. Is it fair, then, to hold fast to grandparents’ expectations? Below, we unpack why assumptions about grandchildren deserve a rethink—and how letting go can keep families closer.

Why Expectations Around Grandkids Have Changed

Housing prices and child‑care fees have skyrocketed, and U.S. student‑loan debt tops $1.7 trillion. Layer in unstable job markets and the high emotional load of modern parenting, and many couples reprioritize—or postpone—having children altogether.

Boomers’ Close Ties Can Heighten Pressure

Boomers spend more time and money helping adult kids than previous generations did. That closeness can fuel hopes for grandkids. Remember, though: emotional proximity doesn’t guarantee identical life goals. Respecting your child’s autonomy preserves the very bond you value.

Diverse family spending time together outdoors
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Not All Families Look the Same—and That’s Okay

Some adult children are child‑free by choice; others quietly struggle with infertility. Silent expectations compound stress. Embracing diverse family forms—step‑grandchildren, foster kids, or “honorary grands” through community mentoring—broadens what legacy can look like and keeps love at the center.

Estrangement and Unspoken Hurt

Roughly 20% of parents experience estrangement from an adult child, according to a national AARP survey. Pressure to deliver grandkids can widen rifts if underlying issues—boundary conflicts, past hurts—remain unaddressed. Rebuilding trust often starts with listening rather than lobbying for babies.

Finding Meaning in the “In‑Between” Years

Waiting for a baby that may never arrive can leave a void. Fill it intentionally. Channel the same anticipation you once pictured for diaper duty into pursuits that knit generations together right now. Offer to pass down a family recipe over FaceTime, digitize old photo albums, or help your adult child knock out their to‑do list on moving day. Acts that lighten their load today speak louder than dreaming aloud about toddlers tomorrow. When they feel supported rather than judged, the door to future possibilities—baby‑related or not—stays propped open.

Open, Ongoing Conversations Heal More Than Time

Tension around unrealized expectations often festers in silence. Set aside a calm moment to ask, with genuine curiosity, how your children envision the next five years and what support would be welcome. Listen without crafting rebuttals. If emotions still run high, a neutral family therapist or structured “mediated conversation” can untangle misunderstandings before they calcify. Finally, cultivate your own peer network—friends, volunteer groups, or grandparenting forums—where you can process feelings openly. Sharing stories with others on similar journeys normalizes the experience and reminds you that love, not lineage, is the heart of family.

Grandparenting Isn’t One‑Size‑Fits‑All

Even when infants arrive, roles vary. Some Boomers become full‑time caregivers; others visit occasionally. Respect your adult child’s parenting philosophy and logistical limits. Offering help—rather than insisting—signals support without overstepping.

Crafting a Legacy Beyond Biology

Grandchildren can be a joy, but they aren’t the sole measure of a life well‑lived. Volunteering, sharing family history, or funding a grand‑niece’s education all transmit values forward. Letting go of rigid endpoints frees you to invest in relationships you already have.

Key Takeaways for Boomers

  1. Acknowledge today’s realities. Finances, climate anxiety, and career demands reshape family planning.
  2. Communicate openly—without pressure. Ask about your child’s dreams before assuming they mirror yours.
  3. Broaden the definition of legacy. Mentorship, philanthropy, and storytelling pass wisdom along, grandkids or not.

Join the Conversation

Have you talked with your adult children about family planning? How did you keep the discussion judgment‑free? Share your experience below—your insight could help another family navigate the same crossroads.

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Supporting Adult Children: 8 Things Boomers Can Do Instead of Giving Money

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Supporting Adult Children 8 Things Boomers Can Do Instead of Giving Money

Many Baby Boomers find themselves in a position where their adult children seek financial assistance. While offering money can provide immediate relief, there are other ways to support your children that can promote long-term stability and growth. These alternatives can foster independence and self-sufficiency, helping your children navigate adulthood more confidently. Plus, these methods are less of a monetary burden on the parents, ensuring they don’t sacrifice their financial well-being along the way. Here are eight strategies for supporting adult children without directly giving them money.

1. Provide Emotional Support

Provide Emotional Support

Emotional support is invaluable for adult children navigating life’s challenges. A strong emotional foundation can help them build resilience in the face of adversity. Listening to their concerns and offering encouragement can make a significant difference in their mental well-being. Establishing a strong emotional connection helps them feel understood and valued. Regularly checking in and being available for meaningful conversations fosters a supportive environment.

2. Offer Practical Advice

Offer Practical Advice

Sharing your life experiences and knowledge can be more beneficial than financial assistance. Your insights can help them avoid common pitfalls and make more strategic choices. Providing guidance on budgeting, career planning, and personal development helps your children make informed decisions. Practical advice equips them with the tools they need to manage their lives effectively. By imparting wisdom, you empower them to handle challenges independently.

3. Help with Job Search and Career Development

Help with Job Search and Career Development

Assisting your adult children with their job search and career development can lead to long-term financial stability. Use your network to connect them with potential employers or mentors in their field. Review their resumes and offer tips for successful job interviews. Encouraging them to pursue further education or certifications can also enhance their career prospects. This proactive support can significantly boost their confidence and employability.

4. Teach Financial Literacy

Teach Financial Literacy

Financial literacy is crucial for managing money responsibly. Teach your children about budgeting, saving, and investing to help them make sound financial decisions. Discussing topics like credit scores, loans, and interest rates prepares them for real-world financial responsibilities. Financial literacy empowers them to achieve financial independence and security, as understanding financial principles can help them build wealth and avoid debt.

5. Encourage Independence

Encourage Independence

Fostering independence is essential for adult children to thrive. Encourage them to take on responsibilities and solve problems on their own. Supporting their efforts to find housing, manage bills, and handle daily tasks builds their confidence and self-reliance. Independence leads to personal growth and a stronger sense of accomplishment. By promoting self-sufficiency, you help them build a stable and fulfilling life.

6. Offer Non-Monetary Assistance

Offer Non-Monetary Assistance

Non-monetary assistance can provide valuable support without financial dependency. Helping with household chores, babysitting grandchildren, or offering transportation can alleviate some of their burdens. This type of support shows your care and involvement without directly giving money. It also helps them manage their responsibilities more efficiently. Your practical help can make their daily lives more manageable and less stressful.

7. Encourage Healthy Lifestyle Choices

Encourage Healthy Lifestyle Choices

Promoting healthy lifestyle choices can improve your adult children’s overall well-being. Encourage them to maintain a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and prioritize mental health. Discuss the benefits of work-life balance and stress management techniques. Healthy habits contribute to their physical and emotional resilience. By advocating for a healthy lifestyle, you support their long-term health and happiness.

8. Support Their Goals and Dreams

Support Their Goals and Dreams

Supporting your adult children’s goals and dreams can inspire them to pursue their passions. Show interest in their aspirations and offer encouragement and advice. Celebrate their achievements and help them navigate setbacks with a positive outlook. Your support can motivate them to strive for success and fulfillment. Believing in their potential can give them the confidence to overcome obstacles and achieve their dreams.

There Are Options for Supporting Adult Children That Don’t Involve Money

There Are Options for Supporting Adult Children That Don’t Involve Money

Supporting adult children without giving money involves offering emotional support, practical advice, and non-monetary assistance. Teaching financial literacy, fostering independence, and promoting healthy lifestyle choices are also crucial parts of the equation. Similarly, helping with job search and career development and encouraging their goals and dreams can reap dividends, further empowering them to reach new heights. These strategies not only provide valuable support but also help your children build a strong foundation for a successful and independent future.

Read More:

Toxic Grandparents: 12 Things Baby Boomer Grandparents Must Avoid

The Boomer’s Guide to Thriving in a Multi-Generational Workplace: 13 Tips

Toxic Grandparents: 12 Things Baby Boomer Grandparents Must Avoid

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Toxic Grandparents 12 Things Baby Boomer Grandparents Must Avoid

Navigating the role of a grandparent can be delightful yet complex. For Baby Boomer grandparents, adapting to modern parenting styles and expectations requires understanding and tact. The term “toxic grandparents” isn’t about vilifying our elders but rather highlighting behaviors that can strain family dynamics. This guide will outline 12 key things that Baby Boomer grandparents should avoid to foster healthy, supportive relationships with their grandchildren and their parents.

1. Undermining Parental Authority

Undermining Parental Authority

One of the cardinal rules for grandparents is to respect the parenting decisions of the grandchildren’s parents. Offering unsolicited advice or criticizing parenting choices in front of the children can undermine parental authority, creating confusion and conflict. Baby Boomer grandparents need to support and reinforce the parents’ rules and discipline strategies, not contradict them.

2. Favoritism Among Grandchildren

Favoritism Among Grandchildren

Showing favoritism can sow discord among siblings and affect their self-esteem. Grandparents must be mindful of how they distribute their time, attention, and gifts among their grandchildren. Consistent, equitable treatment helps all grandchildren feel valued and loved, which is crucial to developing a positive self-image.

3. Using Guilt as a Tool

Using Guilt as a Tool

Manipulating grandchildren or their parents with guilt, for example, lamenting about not being visited often, can create unnecessary emotional stress. Healthy relationships are based on a mutual desire to spend time together, not on guilt-fueled obligations. Baby Boomer grandparents should foster a welcoming and positive atmosphere that grandchildren and their parents want to be part of.

4. Ignoring Boundaries

Ignoring Boundaries

Overstepping boundaries set by the parents, whether it’s about feeding, bedtime routines, or screen time, can lead to major disagreements. It’s important for grandparents to discuss and understand these boundaries and to follow them closely to maintain harmony within the family.

5. Being Overly Critical

Being Overly Critical

Constant criticism can be harmful to both parents and grandchildren. Whether it’s commenting on parenting styles, children’s behavior, or even trivial things like haircuts, it’s better to keep negative opinions to oneself unless your children or grandkids explicitly seek advice. Encouragement and praise can go a long way in strengthening familial bonds.

6. Refusing to Modernize Parenting Techniques

Refusing to Modernize Parenting Techniques

Baby Boomer grandparents might prefer traditional parenting methods, but it’s essential to respect and adapt to the modern techniques adopted by the grandchildren’s parents. This includes understanding current health, safety, and education guidelines and embracing new practices even if they differ from past norms.

7. Overindulgence

Overindulgence

While it’s natural to want to spoil grandchildren, overindulgence—whether in the form of sweets, gifts, or lenient rules—can interfere with the boundaries set by parents. Moderation is essential, and grandparents should align with the parents’ wishes to maintain consistency in upbringing.

8. Competing with Other Grandparents

Competing with Other Grandparents

Competition among grandparents can be detrimental, especially if it places grandchildren in the middle of a rivalry. Celebrate each grandparent’s unique relationship with the grandchildren without turning it into a contest of affection or generosity.

9. Disregarding Parental Lifestyle Choices

Disregarding Parental Lifestyle Choices

Whether it’s dietary preferences, religious beliefs, or educational choices, dismissing or openly criticizing the parents’ lifestyle choices can create tension. It’s essential to respect these decisions and discuss any concerns directly with the parents rather than question them in front of the children.

10. Neglecting to Listen

Neglecting to Listen

Effective communication involves listening just as much as talking. Grandparents should give their grandchildren and their parents the space to express themselves without jumping to conclusions or interrupting. This builds trust and demonstrates respect for their thoughts and feelings.

11. Inflexibility in Plans and Traditions

Inflexibility in Plans and Traditions

While traditions are important, inflexibility can lead to conflicts, especially during holidays or special occasions. Being open to new ideas and accommodating changes in plans can prevent feelings of resentment and ensure that everyone enjoys family gatherings.

12. Spreading Negativity

Spreading Negativity

Maintaining a positive attitude, even in challenging times, is crucial. Grandparents who complain frequently about personal matters or family issues can affect the overall family atmosphere. Focusing on positivity and resilience is beneficial, which can significantly influence the grandchildren’s outlook on life.

Don’t Become Toxic Grandparents by Embracing These Tips!

Don’t Become Toxic Grandparents by Embracing These Tips!

Avoiding these toxic behaviors can help Baby Boomer grandparents build loving, supportive, and respectful relationships with their grandchildren and their parents. Embracing modern parenting, respecting boundaries, and fostering open communication are all essential strategies. By adapting to these roles, grandparents can ensure their impact on their grandchildren’s lives is as positive and enriching as possible.

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12 Baby Boomer Trends That Will Have You Saying “That Was a Thing?”

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baby boomer trends

DALL-E

Ready for a blast from the past that’ll have you scratching your head and chuckling at the same time? 

From Jell-O salads adorned with every conceivable topping to furniture swathed in plastic covers, these trends defined an era that was all about bold choices and unabashed flair. 

So grab your mood rings and hop into our time machine—we’re about to explore some of the most bewildering yet charming trends that have shaped a generation!

1. Phone Booth Stuffing

phone booth stuffing

DALL-E

In the late 1950s, college students engaged in the peculiar competition of phone booth stuffing. The goal was simple yet claustrophobic: cram as many people as possible into a phone booth. 

This trend was not only a test of physical limits but also a bizarre testament to the era’s fascination with group dynamics and public spectacles.

2. Tie-Dye Everything

tie-dye

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Long before it became a staple at modern music festivals, tie-dye was the ultimate symbol of free-spiritedness in the 1960s. 

Boomers didn’t just stop at shirts; they tie-dyed pants, hats, and even bed sheets, turning everyday items into explosions of color that represented peace and rebellion.

3. Pet Rocks

pet rock

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In the mid-1970s, the Pet Rock became a must-have accessory. Yes, it was literally a rock—a smooth stone packaged in a carrier box with breathing holes and straw. 

It was marketed as the perfect pet, requiring no actual care, which made it an ironic statement on consumer culture and a hilarious, if short-lived, household trend.

4. Mood Rings

mood ring

DALL-E

Mood rings were a fashion fad that claimed to read your emotional state through the temperature of your finger, changing colors accordingly.

Introduced in the 1970s, these accessories were a popular way for people to express themselves or pretend to read others’ feelings, adding a touch of mystical fun to everyday interactions.

5. Waterbeds

waterbed

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Once considered the epitome of cool, waterbeds were a major furniture trend for Boomers, especially in the 1960s and 1970s. 

Thanks to their supportive, fluid dynamics, these beds promised a better night’s sleep. However, they were more often known for their novelty and the romantic ambiance they suggested.

6. 8-Track Tapes

tape

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Before streaming, before CDs, and even before cassette tapes, there were 8-track tapes. 

These bulky predecessors to portable music were a common vehicle for rock and roll, letting users take their favorite tunes on the road or enjoy them at home despite often frustrating track-switching quirks.

7. Shag Carpets

shag rag

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Shag carpets, with their long, fluffy fibers, covered many a boomer’s floor in bright oranges, greens, and yellows. They exemplified the era’s design ethos—bold and tactile. 

These carpets were all about maximal comfort and style, though they were notoriously difficult to clean.

8. Lava Lamps

lava lamp

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Lava lamps, with their mesmerizing, slow-moving blobs, became a cultural icon in the 1960s. These groovy lighting fixtures were staples in bedrooms and living rooms, offering a psychedelic touch to home decor that promised to soothe and inspire anyone fixated on their hypnotic flow.

9. Drive-In Theaters

drive-in theater

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Drive-in theaters peaked in popularity during the mid-20th century, offering a blend of privacy and community as families and couples watched films from the comfort of their cars. 

They symbolized the era’s automobile culture and the American love for big screens and bigger snacks, although many have disappeared in the digital age.

10. Jell-O Salads

jello salad

DALL-E

In what may seem one of the more questionable culinary choices, Jell-O salads were a genuine entertaining staple. These concoctions often included ingredients like tuna, celery, and olives encased in gelatin, reflecting a time when experimental convenience cooking was all the rage.

11. Beehive Hairdos

beehive hairdo

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The beehive is a towering hairstyle that became wildly popular in the 1960s. This gravity-defying look required copious amounts of hairspray and teasing, representing an era when bigger was definitely better, and personal style had a flair for dramatics.

12. CB Radios

cb radio

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CB radios surged in popularity in the 1970s, partially fueled by the trucker culture and movies like “Smokey and the Bandit.” 

These radios allowed immediate communication with others on the road, providing both practical uses for long-haul drives and a sense of community among users, peppered with unique slang and codes.

They’re More Than Just Fads

baby boomers

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These quirky, sometimes inexplicable trends offer a window into the past, showcasing a period full of exploration, innovation, and fun. Whether they evoke fond memories or disbelief, they all contribute to the colorful tapestry of Baby Boomer culture.

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The Boomer’s Guide to Thriving in a Multi-Generational Workplace: 13 Tips

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The Boomer's Guide to Thriving in a Multi-Generational Workplace 13 Tips

In today’s workforce, Baby Boomers are increasingly working alongside Gen Xers, Millennials, and Gen Zers. This diversity can bring valuable perspectives but also potential challenges. For Baby Boomers, adapting to a multi-generational workplace is not just about coexisting; it’s about thriving. Here are 13 tips to help Boomers navigate and excel in these dynamic work environments.

1. Embrace Lifelong Learning

Embrace Lifelong Learning

The rapid pace of technological advancement means learning never stops. Boomers should embrace new technologies and methodologies, as staying current is essential in a multi-generational workplace. Whether it’s mastering new software, understanding emerging industry trends, or learning new communication tools, continuous learning can help Boomers stay relevant and engaged in their careers.

2. Leverage Your Experience

Leverage Your Experience

Baby Boomers bring years of experience and wisdom to the table, which is an invaluable asset in any workplace. Use this experience to mentor younger colleagues and share insights that only come with time. However, it’s essential to do so in an open and collaborative rather than prescriptive way to foster a culture of mutual respect and learning.

3. Develop Flexible Communication Skills

Develop Flexible Communication Skills

Effective communication in a multi-generational workplace often requires adapting to different styles. Boomers should aim to be flexible in how they communicate, whether it’s through traditional emails, instant messaging apps, or face-to-face interactions. Understanding and aligning with the communication preferences of younger colleagues can improve teamwork and productivity.

4. Show Willingness to Adapt

Show Willingness to Adapt

Change is a constant in any dynamic work environment. Showing a willingness to adapt to new ideas and working methods can set a positive example for all generations. It’s not about abandoning tried and tested methods but being open to integrating new approaches that can enhance productivity and workplace harmony.

5. Focus on Building Relationships

Focus on Building Relationships

Building strong relationships across different age groups can enhance personal growth and professional success. Take the time to get to know your younger colleagues personally and professionally. This can help you understand their motivations and build a cohesive team, regardless of age differences.

6. Advocate for Inclusivity

Advocate for Inclusivity

Baby Boomers can play a crucial role in advocating for an inclusive workplace where all voices are heard and valued. This involves promoting fairness, respect, and opportunities for all, regardless of age. By championing inclusivity, Boomers can help create a workplace that leverages the strengths of each generation.

7. Utilize Conflict Resolution Skills

Utilize Conflict Resolution Skills

Conflicts may arise in any workplace, especially one with wide age ranges. Boomers should use conflict resolution skills to navigate disagreements and foster a collaborative environment. This involves listening actively, mediating disputes fairly, and finding compromises that respect different generational perspectives.

8. Encourage Cross-Generational Mentoring

Encourage Cross-Generational Mentoring

While traditional mentoring typically involves older employees mentoring younger ones, cross-generational mentoring can be beneficial, too. Encourage relationships where younger employees can mentor older ones, particularly in areas like technology and current trends. This can promote a culture of mutual respect and learning.

9. Stay Health-Conscious

Stay Health-Conscious

Maintaining physical and mental health is crucial for sustaining performance in the workplace. Boomers should prioritize their health by adopting a balanced diet, regular exercise, and sufficient rest. This not only impacts personal well-being but also professional productivity and engagement.

10. Celebrate Diverse Perspectives

Celebrate Diverse Perspectives

A multi-generational workplace offers a tapestry of perspectives that can lead to innovative solutions and ideas. Celebrate and encourage diverse thinking by inviting input from colleagues of all ages on projects and decisions. This can lead to better problem-solving and a more dynamic work environment.

11. Balance Work and Life

Balance Work and Life

Achieving a healthy work-life balance is essential at any stage of your career. For Boomers, who may have different personal commitments than their younger colleagues, balancing professional responsibilities with personal life is vital. Employers value employees who can manage this balance, which often leads to better job satisfaction and retention.

12. Harness the Power of Networking

Harness the Power of Networking

Networking isn’t just for the young. Boomers should continue to build and maintain their professional networks. This can lead to new opportunities, provide insights into industry trends, and offer support systems through different phases of their careers. Networking within and outside the company can also enhance intergenerational relationships and opportunities.

13. Remain Optimistic and Resilient

Remain Optimistic and Resilient

Maintaining a positive outlook and resilience in the face of challenges is key to thriving in a multi-generational workplace. Baby Boomers should lead by example, showing optimism and resilience, which can inspire colleagues across all generations. This attitude can help you navigate the complexities of modern work environments while contributing positively to team morale.

Boomers Can Thrive in a Multi-Generational Workplace

Boomers Can Thrive in a Multi-Generational Workplace

Navigating a multi-generational workplace successfully as a Baby Boomer involves embracing change, fostering mutual respect, and leveraging diverse strengths. By applying these 13 tips, Boomers can not only thrive but also play a pivotal role in bridging generational gaps, enhancing team cohesion, and driving organizational success. This proactive approach ensures that experience and wisdom effectively complement younger colleagues’ fresh perspectives and technological adeptness, all while enhancing job satisfaction for everyone.

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