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7 Lies Kids Tell To Get Your Money (No, They Didn’t Clean Their Room)

June 6, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Kids are clever—sometimes a little too clever when they want something. Whether it’s an emergency need for snacks, a school fundraiser that mysteriously popped up, or a sudden urge to “invest” in slime supplies, children can get creative when it comes to accessing your wallet. While honesty is a value most parents try hard to instill, there are some common fibs that pop up again and again. And let’s be honest: you’ve probably heard a few of these already. These are seven of the most common lies kids tell to get your money, and what you can do to stop the habit before it becomes a routine.

1. “Everyone Else Got One”

This classic peer-pressure line is designed to make you feel like the only unreasonable parent on the planet. Whether they’re talking about new shoes, a gaming headset, or lunch money for a food truck day, the idea is that saying “no” will leave them tragically left out. But unless you’re in a group chat with every other parent, it’s hard to verify. This is one of the most manipulative lies kids tell to get your money because it plays on guilt and your desire for them to fit in. A good response? “Let me check with another parent first.”

2. “It’s for School”

Suddenly they need $20—for school. No details, no teacher note, just vague urgency and a backpack that definitely doesn’t have any paperwork in it. While some school-related expenses are legitimate, this fib is frequently used to mask snack runs or extra money for vending machines. It’s one of the more believable lies kids tell to get your money, which makes it harder to call out. Request proof or ask follow-up questions like what class it’s for, when it’s due, and if it’s listed on the school calendar.

3. “I Lost My Lunch Money”

Sometimes this one’s true, but when it happens every other week, your wallet starts to wonder. Claiming to have lost lunch money is an easy cover for spending it elsewhere—on candy, apps, or lending it to friends. It’s one of those lies kids tell to get your money that parents often give in to out of concern. Instead of handing over more cash, offer to pack lunch for the next day or set up a prepaid cafeteria account with limits.

4. “I’ll Pay You Back”

This little promise sounds so responsible and grown-up. But unless your child has a steady income (or an unusually reliable allowance history), “I’ll pay you back” often translates to “you’ll forget I owe you.” While it might start small, this habit can lead to poor money management skills later in life. If you’re hearing this lie kids tell to get your money too often, consider setting clear borrowing rules or using an app to track IOUs. It’s also a great moment to teach about earning money before spending it.

5. “I Need It for a Gift”

Wanting to buy a friend a birthday gift is a thoughtful gesture—but sometimes, it’s just an excuse to get spending money. Kids may ask for funds to buy something “for a friend,” only to turn up with snacks or toys for themselves. It’s one of the sneakier lies kids tell to get your money because it sounds generous and kind. Ask where they plan to shop, how much the item costs, and offer to help them pick something out—this usually separates truth from fiction quickly.

6. “You Said I Could”

Unless you write every financial agreement down in blood (or at least in your Notes app), this one is hard to argue. Kids are known for selective memory, and “you said I could” is often code for “I hoped you would.” This lie kids tell to get your money usually pops up when they’re trying to make a quick purchase without checking back in. A good counter? “Then I’m sure you won’t mind waiting until I remember saying that.”

7. “It’s Only a Few Dollars”

This one is dangerous because it sounds harmless. But those “few dollars” quickly add up when you hear it every week. Whether it’s for an extra snack, a tip for a delivery, or something small from the school store, this lie kids tell to get your money minimizes the ask to avoid a “no.” Teach them to treat every dollar as valuable. If you want to curb the behavior, give a set weekly amount and let them manage it—no top-ups, no exceptions.

Raising Smart Spenders Starts with Honest Conversations

Kids learn from trial and error—and sometimes from pushing their luck. Spotting the lies kids tell to get your money isn’t about catching them in a trap, it’s about using those moments to teach integrity, budgeting, and healthy communication. If you give them the tools to manage money wisely and reinforce the value of trust, they’ll eventually stop trying to hustle you for snacks and start asking you for tips on saving.

Which fib have you heard the most from your child when they want money? How did you handle it? Share your stories in the comments—we’d love to hear them!

8 Things Kids Do to Hide Their Bad Behavior from You

Catherine Reed

Catherine is a tech-savvy writer who has focused on the personal finance space for more than eight years. She has a Bachelor’s in Information Technology and enjoys showcasing how tech can simplify everyday personal finance tasks like budgeting, spending tracking, and planning for the future. Additionally, she’s explored the ins and outs of the world of side hustles and loves to share what she’s learned along the way. When she’s not working, you can find her relaxing at home in the Pacific Northwest with her two cats or enjoying a cup of coffee at her neighborhood cafe.

Why More Kids Are Being Misdiagnosed With These 5 Conditions

June 5, 2025 | Leave a Comment

When your child is struggling, getting a diagnosis can feel like a relief—until it turns out to be wrong. Misdiagnosis in children is surprisingly common, especially as schools and doctors face increasing pressure to identify and treat issues quickly. With overlapping symptoms, changing behavior, and inconsistent access to specialized care, more kids are being misdiagnosed than ever before. These labels can follow them for years, affecting how they’re taught, treated, and even how they see themselves. Let’s look at five conditions that are most frequently misdiagnosed in children—and how to make sure your child gets the right support.

1. ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder)

ADHD tops the list of conditions where kids are being misdiagnosed, and the reasons are complex. Many of the core symptoms—like distractibility, fidgeting, and impulsiveness—can also be signs of anxiety, trauma, or even a lack of sleep. Some kids are misdiagnosed simply because they’re more active than their peers or don’t fit into a traditional classroom mold. A rushed evaluation without input from teachers, parents, and psychologists can lead to unnecessary medication or stigma. If ADHD is suggested, seek a comprehensive assessment and consider multiple opinions before moving forward.

2. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Autism spectrum disorder is another condition where early intervention is vital, but misdiagnosis is becoming more frequent. Some children with sensory issues, speech delays, or social anxiety may be inaccurately diagnosed with autism when another explanation fits better. On the flip side, some girls and children of color are underdiagnosed because they don’t match the “classic” profile. The rise in awareness is positive, but it’s also led to quicker labeling in some cases. Accurate diagnosis requires time, careful observation, and expertise from professionals familiar with how autism presents across different populations.

3. Pediatric Bipolar Disorder

It’s scary for any parent to hear the word “bipolar” used in relation to a child, especially since this diagnosis is often based on extreme mood swings or behavior outbursts. However, more kids are being misdiagnosed with pediatric bipolar disorder when they may actually have ADHD, depression, or even a trauma-related condition. The symptoms can overlap, but the treatments are very different—and the wrong medication can worsen things. A thorough psychiatric evaluation is crucial before accepting a diagnosis of bipolar disorder in a child under 12. Look for a provider who specializes in pediatric mental health and not just general behavior issues.

4. Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

ODD is commonly diagnosed when a child is consistently defiant, angry, or argumentative with authority figures. But what if the real issue is that the child is dealing with undiagnosed anxiety, sensory processing challenges, or problems at home? Unfortunately, kids are being misdiagnosed with ODD when their behavior is a response to something deeper. This label can lead to punishment-based interventions rather than compassionate care. Instead of focusing solely on the behavior, professionals should look at the emotional and environmental context behind it.

5. Learning Disabilities

Learning disabilities like dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia are real—and more recognized than ever—but they’re also tricky to diagnose accurately. Sometimes kids who are simply behind due to lack of instruction or support get labeled with a learning disability. Other times, a child with an undiagnosed hearing or vision issue is assumed to have a cognitive delay. Misdiagnosing a learning disability can lead to the wrong kind of help—or no help at all. Always request a full psychoeducational evaluation before accepting a diagnosis, and consider retesting as your child grows.

A Label Shouldn’t Define a Child—But Accuracy Matters

It’s important to remember that a diagnosis can open doors to support, but a wrong diagnosis can close them just as fast. With more kids being misdiagnosed, parents need to become active participants in the evaluation process. That means asking questions, getting second opinions, and checking in regularly to make sure the label still fits. Your child is more than any diagnosis, and they deserve care that reflects their full, complex self.

Have you ever questioned a diagnosis your child received? What steps did you take to find answers? Share your story in the comments to help other parents navigate the same journey.

8 Snacks That Kids Love and Doctors Hate

Catherine Reed

9 Bad Habits That Kids Are Picking Up From Their Aunts and Uncles (And How to Stop It)

June 5, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Family bonds are incredibly important, and most kids light up at the mention of their favorite aunt or uncle. These grown-up playmates often bring fun, treats, and a break from routine—but sometimes they bring more than you bargained for. Without realizing it, even the most well-meaning relatives can model behaviors that clash with your parenting goals. The truth is, there are several bad habits that kids are picking up from their aunts and uncles—and they tend to stick unless addressed early. Here’s what to watch for and how to tackle it without starting a family feud.

1. Ignoring Boundaries Around Food

Whether it’s sneaking extra candy or letting dessert come before dinner, many aunts and uncles think bending food rules is part of the fun. While occasional treats aren’t a big deal, repeated boundary-breaking teaches kids that your rules are flexible if the right adult is around. This creates confusion and power struggles during regular meals. It can also contribute to poor eating habits or emotional attachment to food. Make sure relatives know your expectations clearly—and don’t be afraid to enforce them.

2. Overusing Screens as Babysitters

Many relatives love to bond with kids over movies or games, but when screens become the go-to distraction every visit, it sets a precedent. If your child comes home expecting unlimited YouTube time or a new game every time they’re bored, the issue may be what’s happening during those visits. Excessive screen time is one of the most common bad habits that kids are picking up from others, even in short bursts. Have a chat about balance and suggest more interactive ways they can spend time together.

3. Using Sarcasm or Inappropriate Humor

Some aunts and uncles think teasing is harmless fun, but kids often don’t pick up on tone or sarcasm the way adults do. What’s meant as a joke can feel confusing or even hurtful, and children may start copying the same snarky or edgy comments at home. It’s especially problematic if it includes language or topics that don’t align with your household values. Set gentle boundaries around humor, especially if it involves name-calling, “roasting,” or inappropriate topics.

4. Encouraging Secrets or “Don’t Tell Your Parents” Moments

When a fun day out ends with “just don’t tell your mom,” it might seem innocent—but it subtly undermines trust between you and your child. Encouraging secrecy, even with good intentions, is one of the more serious bad habits that kids are picking up. It normalizes hiding things from parents and teaches kids that honesty is optional in certain relationships. Let family members know that transparency matters and that you want your child to feel safe telling you everything.

5. Modeling Disrespect for Authority

If an aunt or uncle frequently badmouths bosses, teachers, or other authority figures in front of your child, don’t be surprised if your kid starts doing the same. Kids mimic what they hear, and disrespectful commentary can influence how they speak about adults. This habit can show up at school, in public, or during family conversations, often at the worst possible moment. Encourage relatives to keep adult complaints out of earshot or reframe criticism in more respectful language.

6. Ignoring Bedtimes or Routines

Sleepovers at Auntie’s house might mean midnight snacks, endless cartoons, and no bedtime rules. While that sounds magical for kids, it can wreak havoc when routines need to be reestablished at home. Lack of structure becomes one of the sneakiest bad habits that kids are picking up—because it’s so hard to undo once it’s normalized. Communicate in advance about your child’s bedtime and any non-negotiables so the fun doesn’t come at the expense of sleep and stability.

7. Using Guilt or Bribery to Get Affection

Sometimes aunts and uncles use guilt to coax hugs or bribe kids with gifts for attention. While it may seem sweet on the surface, it teaches children that affection is something to be bought or earned. This can confuse your child’s sense of emotional boundaries and consent. Help relatives understand that genuine connection builds naturally and doesn’t need a trade-off. Model and encourage respectful, mutual affection instead.

8. Swearing or Using Inappropriate Language

Kids are like little parrots—they’ll repeat words and phrases whether they fully understand them or not. If an uncle lets an f-bomb slip every few minutes or throws around slang you’ve been actively avoiding, chances are your kid will pick it up. And probably at the worst time. Language habits are one of the most obvious bad habits that kids are picking up—and one of the hardest to correct once they take hold. Ask relatives to mind their language when little ears are nearby.

9. Dismissing Feelings or Telling Kids to “Toughen Up”

If a child expresses fear or sadness and is met with “you’re fine” or “don’t be a baby,” it can teach them to suppress emotions. While not always intentional, these dismissals can prevent kids from developing emotional intelligence or feeling safe expressing themselves. Encourage your child’s aunts and uncles to validate feelings, even if they don’t fully understand them. Emotional support is a habit that’s just as contagious—and far more valuable.

Creating Boundaries Without Burning Bridges

It’s tough to navigate family dynamics, especially when you’re trying to protect your child without creating tension. The key is to be clear, kind, and consistent. Most aunts and uncles don’t mean harm—they just need a little guidance on what matters most to you as a parent. When everyone’s on the same page, your child gets the love and fun of extended family without the extra habits you don’t want tagging along.

Have you noticed any surprising bad habits that kids are picking up from extended family? How did you handle it? Share your stories in the comments!

5 Innocent Mistakes That Turn Into Lifelong Bad Habits

Catherine Reed

10 Ways Parents Accidentally Teach Kids to Be Cruel

June 5, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Most parents want to raise kind, compassionate children—but sometimes, without realizing it, they model behaviors that do just the opposite. Cruelty in kids doesn’t always come from playground bullies or bad influences; it can start at home, subtly and unintentionally. From the way adults react to stress, to the words they use when frustrated, kids are constantly learning what’s acceptable. If we’re not careful, we may teach kids to be cruel by normalizing sarcasm, disrespect, or exclusion in everyday life. Here are ten surprising ways parents may be sending the wrong message, along with tips for course-correcting with intention.

1. Laughing at Someone Else’s Misfortune

It might seem harmless to chuckle at a silly fail video or joke about a neighbor’s bad luck, but kids are watching—and absorbing the message. When parents treat someone’s pain as entertainment, they teach kids to be cruel by normalizing a lack of empathy. These small moments shape how children react when others are hurt or struggling. Instead of laughing, parents can take the opportunity to ask, “How do you think that person felt?” A little reflection goes a long way toward building kindness.

2. Using Name-Calling as Discipline

Frustrated parents sometimes resort to calling their child “lazy,” “bad,” or “a brat” in the heat of the moment. Not only does this type of verbal abuse harm a child’s self-worth, it also models a behavior they may copy with others. When children hear adults assign negative labels, they learn that using hurtful words is a way to control or shame someone. This is one of the most direct ways adults unintentionally teach kids to be cruel. Replacing criticism with calm, specific feedback helps children understand behavior without attacking identity.

3. Gossiping in Front of Children

Even casual gossip—about coworkers, family, or other parents—teaches kids that it’s okay to judge and talk behind people’s backs. When adults share unkind observations at the dinner table or while driving, kids pick up on the tone and content. They may even repeat what they hear at school or use similar tactics in their own social groups. If something negative needs to be discussed, it’s better to save it for private adult time. Showing discretion teaches kids when, how, and if certain conversations are appropriate.

4. Ignoring or Excusing Mean Behavior

When a child is unkind and the behavior is brushed off as “kids being kids,” it sends the message that cruelty isn’t a big deal. Some parents even excuse teasing as harmless or “just joking,” when it’s clearly making someone uncomfortable. This downplays the impact of bullying and discourages kids from taking responsibility. Instead, it’s important to calmly address even minor unkindness and help children reflect on how their actions affect others. Consistency builds better habits.

5. Setting Double Standards

If adults demand kindness from kids but treat waitstaff, teachers, or other parents with rudeness, the double standard won’t go unnoticed. Children mirror what they see, not just what they’re told. Parents who lose their temper, belittle others, or act disrespectfully during conflict unintentionally teach kids to be cruel when angry. Practicing respectful communication—even during stressful moments—shows children how to hold boundaries without resorting to meanness.

6. Dismissing Emotional Reactions

When a child is upset and hears “toughen up,” “don’t be so sensitive,” or “that’s nothing to cry about,” it teaches them to hide emotion and shame others for expressing it. Over time, they may begin mocking others who show vulnerability, because they’ve learned that feelings are a weakness. Teaching emotional intelligence means acknowledging and validating emotions—even ones that seem small or inconvenient. This helps kids build compassion rather than callousness.

7. Using Fear as a Teaching Tool

Threatening punishment or using fear to control behavior may stop kids in the moment, but it often creates resentment and aggression. Children who are constantly managed with fear may replicate that power dynamic with others—especially peers or siblings. They may also see cruelty as a path to control. Parents can use firm, respectful discipline that encourages cooperation and understanding instead of fear and compliance.

8. Promoting “Win at All Costs” Thinking

When parents place a high value on achievement without emphasizing teamwork, fairness, or sportsmanship, kids may begin to view others as obstacles. This can lead to behaviors like cheating, taunting, or exclusion in competitive settings. It’s important to praise effort, encourage empathy in competition, and remind children that success is more meaningful when it’s shared with others. Values like humility and cooperation help balance ambition with kindness.

9. Teasing Children as a Form of Bonding

Many parents tease their kids with affection, but it’s easy to cross the line into sarcasm or mockery. When teasing becomes relentless or targets a child’s insecurities, it doesn’t feel playful—it feels mean. Children might adopt the same style of humor with others and struggle to understand boundaries. Light teasing should always be mutual and respectful, and parents should be quick to apologize if they take it too far.

10. Failing to Address Differences Respectfully

Comments about weight, appearance, culture, or abilities—whether said jokingly or seriously—can reinforce judgmental thinking. Even offhand remarks can shape a child’s view of what is “normal” or “acceptable.” Kids often internalize their parents’ values around inclusion and difference. Speaking positively about diversity, correcting stereotypes, and avoiding derogatory language teaches children to respect everyone, regardless of their background or circumstances.

Raising Kinder Kids Starts with Awareness

We all make mistakes as parents, especially in stressful moments—but recognizing how we may unintentionally teach kids to be cruel is the first step in shifting our approach. By modeling empathy, respect, and emotional awareness, we teach children how to treat others with dignity. Small, everyday changes in how we speak and act can plant the seeds for lifelong kindness.

Have you caught yourself doing any of these without realizing it? What changes have helped you model kindness at home? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Raising Resilient Kids: 8 Lessons Every Parent Should Teach

Catherine Reed

The Most Overlooked Illness in Children—And It’s Getting Worse

June 5, 2025 | Leave a Comment

When parents think of children’s health concerns, the usual suspects come to mind—colds, ear infections, maybe the occasional stomach bug. But there’s one issue quietly affecting millions of kids, and it doesn’t show up on a thermometer or test strip. It hides in plain sight, often dismissed as “just a phase” or “attention-seeking behavior.” The most overlooked illness in children today is mental health issues, especially anxiety and depression—and it’s not only being missed, it’s getting worse. Recognizing and addressing it early can make all the difference in a child’s long-term health, development, and happiness.

Anxiety Isn’t Just an “Adult Problem”

Many parents still assume anxiety is something that starts in high school or adulthood, but it can take root much earlier. Children as young as five or six can experience serious anxiety symptoms, from sleep disturbances to physical aches with no medical explanation. When the signs go unnoticed, they can snowball into chronic emotional struggles. School refusal, meltdowns over routine changes, and perfectionism are just a few ways anxiety shows up in kids. Without support, children may internalize the idea that something is “wrong” with them instead of recognizing it as a treatable condition.

Why Depression in Kids Looks Different

Depression in kids rarely looks like lying in bed all day—it can show up as anger, boredom, or constant frustration. That’s part of what makes it the most overlooked illness in children. Adults might interpret these behaviors as attitude problems, laziness, or lack of discipline. But beneath the surface, a child might be struggling to make sense of sadness they can’t explain or shake. Catching early signs—like a loss of interest in favorite activities or changes in eating and sleeping patterns—can help prevent deeper mental health struggles down the road.

The Pandemic Made It Worse—And the Effects Are Lingering

The last few years have taken a serious toll on kids’ emotional well-being. Isolation, disrupted routines, and fear during the pandemic created a perfect storm for anxiety and depression to thrive. While things may seem more “normal” now, children are still feeling the ripple effects. The American Academy of Pediatrics even declared a national emergency in children’s mental health. It’s not just a blip—it’s a warning sign that the overlooked illness in children is rising fast and needs urgent attention.

What Parents Might Miss at Home

Even attentive, caring parents can miss the signs of mental health struggles. Kids often mask their feelings to avoid upsetting the adults they love or because they don’t have the language to explain what’s going on. Constant tummy aches, an unusual drop in grades, or becoming unusually clingy might be subtle cries for help. Parents should trust their instincts—if something feels “off,” it’s worth investigating further. Open conversations and a supportive home environment can encourage children to share what they’re experiencing.

Why Schools Aren’t Always Equipped to Help

While schools play a critical role in supporting children, they’re often stretched too thin to provide consistent mental health care. A single school counselor may be responsible for hundreds of students, limiting their ability to follow up on every concern. In some cases, kids act out or withdraw completely and get labeled as “problem students” instead of receiving the help they need. This is why parents must be proactive about advocating for their child’s emotional needs, both inside and outside the classroom.

What You Can Do to Help Your Child

Start by creating a safe space for emotional honesty at home. Let your child know it’s okay to talk about feeling scared, sad, or confused—no matter how small the issue seems. Normalize conversations around therapy and mental health support so your child sees it as just another part of self-care. If needed, seek out a pediatric therapist who specializes in anxiety, depression, or trauma. Finally, make sure your child is getting enough sleep, physical activity, and unstructured time to just be a kid. These are powerful tools in building emotional resilience.

A Future That Starts with Awareness

The most overlooked illness in children is only getting worse because it’s often invisible, misread, or ignored. But by shifting how we view children’s emotional health, we can help reverse that trend. Awareness is the first step to meaningful change—not just for your child, but for their peers, classmates, and future generations. As a parent, you don’t have to be a mental health expert. You just have to be open, informed, and willing to listen.

Your Support Could Change Everything

Raising kids means watching out for bumps, fevers, and bruises—but it also means protecting their inner world, even when it’s hard to see. The more we talk about the overlooked illness in children, the more we break the silence and stigma surrounding it. Every child deserves to feel seen, heard, and supported—not just physically, but emotionally too.

What signs have you seen in your child or others that made you think something more serious might be going on? Share your thoughts in the comments—we’d love to hear from you.

6 Signs Your Child Is Struggling with Social Anxiety

Catherine Reed

When a Child’s Apology Is Just Another Power Play

June 4, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Most parents are relieved when a child finally mutters “I’m sorry” after a conflict—but what if that apology feels hollow, sarcastic, or strategic? There are times when a child’s apology isn’t about remorse at all—it’s about control. Knowing when a child’s apology is just another power play can help you navigate tricky behavior patterns that aren’t really about making amends. Kids are smart, and they often test boundaries by using language not to repair relationships, but to manipulate outcomes. Recognizing these moments is the first step to teaching genuine accountability and emotional awareness.

1. The Sarcastic or Forced Apology

One of the clearest signs that a child’s apology is just another power play is when it’s said with a smirk, an eye roll, or exaggerated tone. These performative “sorries” aren’t rooted in empathy—they’re about meeting a requirement with the least amount of sincerity possible. Children quickly learn that saying the right words can end a conversation, avoid a consequence, or get an adult off their back. But when parents accept these insincere apologies without addressing the underlying attitude, the real lesson gets lost. Instead, take a moment to pause, acknowledge the tone, and talk about what apologies are meant to do.

2. Apologies That Come with a “But”

“I’m sorry, but she started it.” “I said I was sorry, but I didn’t mean to.” These are common examples of when a child’s apology is just another power play disguised as accountability. The “but” often shifts the blame, deflects responsibility, or minimizes the impact of their actions. While it’s normal for children to struggle with owning up to mistakes, consistent use of this pattern can signal manipulation. Helping kids recognize the difference between explaining and excusing is key to breaking this habit.

3. The Rapid-Fire “Sorry” to Avoid Consequences

Sometimes a child will blurt out “sorry” the instant they sense they’re in trouble—not because they feel regret, but because they hope to escape a consequence. This is another version of when a child’s apology is just another power play, especially if it happens frequently and is followed by the same behavior later. While it’s tempting to accept the apology and move on, it’s important to show that words alone don’t erase actions. Reinforce that sincere apologies must come with effort to do better, not just a get-out-of-jail-free card.

4. Using Apologies to Shift the Focus

A more subtle form of manipulation happens when a child uses an apology to redirect the conversation or guilt the adult into dropping the issue. For instance, they might apologize dramatically to appear extra hurt or emotionally fragile in hopes of avoiding further discussion. This type of behavior falls squarely into the category of when a child’s apology is just another power play, because it’s being used to control the emotional temperature of the room. Parents should respond calmly and remind their child that emotional honesty and growth come from working through discomfort—not just ending it.

5. Repeated Apologies Without Changed Behavior

“I’m sorry” loses meaning if it’s said again and again without any sign of changed behavior. When a child keeps apologizing for the same action but makes no effort to stop doing it, that’s a classic case of when a child’s apology is just another power play. They may believe the words are enough to smooth things over, even when their actions show otherwise. Addressing this pattern means talking not just about what was done, but what can be done differently next time. True apologies are tied to growth—not just getting out of trouble.

Teaching Real Apology Skills

If you recognize any of these patterns, it doesn’t mean your child is manipulative in a malicious way. It means they’re still learning emotional regulation and the true purpose of an apology. Instead of demanding “Say you’re sorry,” try asking, “What do you think you could say or do to make things right?” This shifts the focus from automatic words to meaningful repair. Encourage reflection, not just a recitation. Over time, children can learn that a real apology includes acknowledgment, empathy, and change—not just a shortcut through accountability.

Have you ever felt like your child’s apology was more about escaping trouble than making things right? Share your experience in the comments—we’d love to hear how you handled it.

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Are Anti-Bullying Programs Making Kids Better or Just Sneakier?

June 3, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Schools across the country have poured time, money, and training into anti-bullying programs, promising safer hallways, kinder classrooms, and more inclusive playgrounds. But ask any student or parent, and you’ll still hear about subtle insults, group exclusions, and quiet manipulation that rarely get caught. Which raises a tough question: Are anti-bullying programs actually changing behavior—or just teaching kids how to hide it better? While awareness is up and public bullying has decreased in many districts, some experts worry the cruelty hasn’t stopped, it’s just gone underground. Here’s a closer look at whether these programs are truly helping or simply reshaping how bullying shows up in 2025.

1. Kids Know the “Correct” Language to Use

One effect of anti-bullying programs is that kids are now very familiar with terms like respect, kindness, and empathy. They’ve heard these words in assemblies, posters, and classroom discussions for years. But knowing the language doesn’t always mean they believe it. Some students have learned to speak the right way around adults while still engaging in exclusion or manipulation behind the scenes. Anti-bullying programs often teach vocabulary before values, and smart kids quickly figure out how to game the system.

2. Bullying Has Moved Online

As schools increase supervision on campus, more bullying has simply shifted to digital spaces. Apps, group chats, and gaming platforms have become the new battlegrounds. Anti-bullying programs sometimes overlook how fast online behavior evolves, leaving kids with tools for the classroom but no guidance for Snapchat, Discord, or TikTok. It’s not that bullying disappears—it just gets smarter and harder to trace. And by the time adults catch on, the emotional damage may already be done.

3. There’s More Focus on Appearances Than Accountability

Many anti-bullying programs rely on public pledges, spirit weeks, and posters that look great on social media but don’t always change what happens day-to-day. Schools love to say they’re proactive, but when it comes to real incidents, responses can be inconsistent. Students quickly pick up on this. They learn that saying the right things in front of teachers keeps them out of trouble, even if their behavior doesn’t change. Programs that focus on looking good rather than getting real often miss the mark.

4. Some Kids Weaponize the System

Here’s a twist: some students now use anti-bullying policies against others. They may report someone for being “mean” in retaliation, or exaggerate conflicts to get others in trouble. While rare, these false claims muddy the waters and make it harder to address genuine bullying. Anti-bullying programs need to teach critical thinking, not just tattling. Without context and honest conversations, rules can become tools for control rather than protection.

5. Relational Aggression Often Goes Unnoticed

Anti-bullying programs are great at addressing obvious issues—physical fights, name-calling, and threats. But many of today’s most damaging behaviors are subtle: eye-rolls, whispering, exclusion from group chats, or social sabotage. These acts don’t leave bruises, but they leave lasting emotional scars. Unfortunately, current programs don’t always equip teachers to spot or address this kind of quiet cruelty. That’s why your child might still come home in tears, even from a school that claims to be “bully-free.”

6. Peer Pressure Is Still Alive and Well

While kids may not be stuffing each other into lockers anymore, the pressure to conform hasn’t gone anywhere. Anti-bullying programs tend to focus on individual behavior rather than the group dynamics that allow bullying to thrive. Students are often afraid to speak up, not because they don’t understand right from wrong, but because they don’t want to become the next target. Programs need to go beyond slogans and dig into the emotional courage it takes to stand alone in a crowd. Otherwise, silence and complicity stay the norm.

7. Some Kids Still Feel Unseen

Ironically, the students most in need of help sometimes feel overlooked by anti-bullying programs. Neurodivergent kids, LGBTQ+ students, and others who don’t fit the mold may find these initiatives don’t reflect their experiences. Programs that treat bullying as a one-size-fits-all problem often miss how identity, bias, and difference shape a child’s experience at school. For these kids, it’s not just about being nicer—it’s about being truly included and understood. Real change requires more than policies; it requires listening.

8. Adults Aren’t Always Trained to Handle It

Not all staff are equipped to respond effectively when bullying happens. Some dismiss it as drama, others freeze up, and a few may unintentionally reinforce power dynamics by favoring more socially skilled students. Anti-bullying programs often provide surface-level training, but don’t prepare educators for the nuance and complexity of school culture. If the adults don’t recognize bullying or respond consistently, the programs lose credibility fast. Kids can tell when their concerns aren’t taken seriously—and that’s when they stop reporting.

9. Real Change Takes More Than Assemblies

One-time presentations or colorful posters aren’t enough to build safer schools. Anti-bullying programs must be part of a larger culture shift that includes daily modeling, emotional education, and consistent consequences. Kids learn by watching how adults handle conflict, inclusion, and fairness. When the school community lives the values it promotes, students notice. Otherwise, even the best-designed programs fall flat.

If Kindness Is Taught Like a Script, Kids Will Act—Not Change

There’s no question that anti-bullying programs raise awareness—but awareness isn’t always enough. If students are only learning how to look kind rather than be kind, they’re missing the heart of the message. For programs to work, they must go deeper than surface behaviors and address the emotional, social, and cultural roots of cruelty. Until then, some kids will get sneakier, not kinder.

Do you think anti-bullying programs are working—or just teaching kids how to avoid getting caught? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below.

6 Times Parents Should Intervene in Their Child’s Friendships

Catherine Reed

Parenting Your Children Long Distance: Here’s 5 Ways It’s Changing Their Behavior

June 1, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Whether it’s due to military service, work relocation, divorce, or co-parenting across states, parenting your children long distance presents challenges that go far beyond scheduling video calls. Even with the best intentions, the physical gap can lead to subtle—but significant—changes in a child’s emotional and behavioral development. From communication breakdowns to struggles with discipline, distance parenting reshapes the parent-child dynamic in ways that aren’t always obvious at first. Understanding how parenting your children long distance is affecting their behavior can help you make proactive adjustments and keep the relationship strong, even from miles away.

1. They’re Acting Out More at Home or School

One of the most common signs of strain in parenting your children long distance is increased behavioral outbursts. Kids may throw more tantrums, become defiant, or get in trouble at school, especially if they’re struggling to express their feelings about the separation. Acting out is often a child’s way of saying, “I miss you” or “I don’t understand what’s going on.” Even if your co-parent or caregiver is doing everything right, the absence of one parent can leave a void that kids try to fill in disruptive ways. These behaviors are usually rooted in emotional confusion rather than discipline issues alone.

2. They’re Withdrawing Emotionally

Not all kids act out loudly. Some internalize the absence and respond by shutting down emotionally. If your child seems quieter, less affectionate, or reluctant to open up during phone calls or visits, they may be protecting themselves from the hurt of missing you. Parenting your children long distance can unintentionally create a sense of instability in the child’s world, especially if visits are inconsistent or communication feels rushed. Emotional withdrawal is often mistaken for maturity or independence, but it can signal a deeper need for connection. Creating consistent, warm, and low-pressure check-ins can help bridge the emotional distance.

3. They’re Testing Boundaries More Frequently

Children naturally test limits—but when you’re parenting your children long distance, they may push even harder. Kids often sense the shift in authority when one parent is physically absent and may test rules more at home or during visits. They might see you as the “fun” parent if visits involve treats and trips, or as the “unfair” one if you’re still enforcing rules from afar. Inconsistent discipline between households can make things worse, leading to confusion and power struggles. Clear communication with co-parents or caregivers—and setting mutual expectations—can help kids feel more secure and less inclined to push limits.

4. They’re Craving Reassurance in Subtle Ways

Kids might not always say, “I miss you,” but they’ll show it in smaller actions: asking the same questions repeatedly, needing extra attention, or trying to prolong bedtime routines when you visit. Parenting your children long distance often leaves them hungry for affirmation, even if they seem to be coping on the surface. Some children may regress, wanting to co-sleep, baby talk, or seek physical comfort they’ve outgrown. These behaviors are their way of asking, “Are you still there for me?” Reassuring them often and reminding them that your love hasn’t changed, even if your location has, goes a long way.

5. They’re Taking on More Than They Should

In some cases, children of long-distance parents start to take on extra responsibilities—emotionally or practically—especially in single-parent or high-stress homes. They may try to “be the strong one,” take care of siblings, or avoid sharing their own struggles so they don’t add to anyone’s burden. Parenting your children long distance can unintentionally shift more emotional labor onto your child’s shoulders, especially if they’re trying to compensate for your absence. While it may seem like they’re maturing quickly, this type of premature independence can lead to burnout and anxiety. Encouraging open conversations and offering age-appropriate emotional support helps lift that invisible weight.

Long Distance, Lasting Impact

Parenting your children long distance is far from easy, but with awareness and intention, it’s possible to stay connected and nurture their well-being from afar. Kids may not always express how much the distance is affecting them, but their behavior tells a story. Whether they’re acting out, pulling away, or seeking comfort in unexpected ways, these are signs they still need you, just differently. Showing up consistently, listening deeply, and coordinating with their daily caregivers can make a powerful difference in how they cope, grow, and thrive.

Are you parenting your children long distance? What strategies have helped your family stay connected? Share your thoughts in the comments!

8 Things Kids Do to Hide Their Bad Behavior from You

Catherine Reed

8 Things Kids Say That Seem Harmless—But Are Actually Warning Signs

May 30, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Most parents hear their kids say things that seem quirky, silly, or dramatic—and often brush them off without a second thought. But every now and then, there’s a deeper message hiding in those offhand comments. Some of the things kids say that seem harmless can actually be quiet cries for help, frustration, or confusion. The key is learning how to listen between the lines, because kids don’t always know how to articulate big emotions directly. If you’ve ever second-guessed whether a passing comment meant something more, you’re not alone—these eight phrases deserve a second listen.

1. “I’m just tired all the time.”

Fatigue might seem like a basic complaint, but when it becomes chronic, it could signal more than just a poor night’s sleep. Kids who are emotionally overwhelmed, anxious, or even depressed often express their feelings physically. Saying they’re “just tired” could be their way of avoiding deeper conversations they aren’t sure how to start. It’s one of those things kids say that seem harmless, but it can be an early indicator of mental health struggles. Pay attention to patterns, energy changes, and mood alongside this phrase.

2. “Nobody likes me.”

This one might sound like typical school drama, but it can reveal painful feelings of isolation or rejection. If a child repeatedly says “nobody likes me,” it’s worth exploring whether they’re struggling with friendships, bullying, or low self-esteem. Kids often lack the vocabulary to say, “I feel left out,” so they default to extreme statements. When this comment surfaces, don’t dismiss it—instead, dig deeper to find out what’s really going on in their social world. Validating their feelings while offering guidance can make a huge difference.

3. “I don’t care.”

“I don’t care” can sound like a throwaway comment or even disrespectful defiance. But in many cases, it’s a mask for discouragement or fear of failure. If a child starts saying this about things they used to enjoy—school, sports, friendships—it might mean they’re feeling powerless or emotionally shut down. When “I don’t care” becomes a regular phrase, it’s time to ask gentle questions and offer support without pushing too hard. This is one of the most overlooked things kids say that seem harmless but may reveal burnout or emotional overload.

4. “I’m just joking.”

Sometimes, jokes aren’t really jokes—they’re disguised messages. Kids may use humor or sarcasm to express real concerns while protecting themselves from criticism or rejection. A child who makes “jokes” about hating school, being ugly, or being unwanted might be revealing painful beliefs underneath the punchline. Watch for repeated patterns and topics in their humor. When “I’m just joking” is attached to something potentially serious, it deserves attention and a follow-up conversation.

5. “I wish I wasn’t here.”

This statement should never be ignored, even if it sounds vague or fleeting. It can be a red flag for depression or feelings of worthlessness, and it requires immediate care and conversation. Sometimes kids don’t know how to say, “I’m overwhelmed,” so they express it in the only way they can. Saying they “wish they weren’t here” is one of the most serious things kids say that seem harmless—but is anything but. Don’t wait—reach out to a mental health professional if your child ever expresses this.

6. “You never listen to me.”

This phrase may feel like an exaggeration in the heat of an argument, but it often reflects a deeper issue. When kids say this, they may feel unheard, invalidated, or dismissed—even if it wasn’t your intention. Feeling chronically ignored can impact their self-esteem and trust in family communication. Instead of snapping back, ask them to help you understand what they were trying to say. Showing genuine interest can repair the disconnect and prevent bigger issues from building up.

7. “I’m fine.”

This one might be the most common—and most misleading—statement kids make. If a child seems upset but insists they’re “fine,” it’s often because they don’t feel safe enough or ready to open up. Kids might use this phrase to avoid conflict, minimize their emotions, or brush past something uncomfortable. If “I’m fine” is accompanied by a change in behavior, withdrawal, or silence, take it as your cue to gently circle back later. This is one of the most deceptively simple things kids say that seem harmless but could signal something important.

8. “Don’t worry about it.”

On the surface, this phrase sounds mature—almost reassuring. But many kids say this when they’re struggling alone and don’t want to burden anyone. It can point to anxiety, shame, or a desire to hide their problems to protect others. Teaching your child that they can share anything with you, no matter how small, helps reduce the instinct to self-censor. A child saying “don’t worry about it” might be inviting you to worry just enough to ask again later.

Listen With Your Heart, Not Just Your Ears

The words kids choose don’t always match the emotions they’re feeling. That’s why some things kids say that seem harmless are actually quiet distress signals. Learning to spot the difference takes practice, patience, and a willingness to sit with discomfort. But when you lean in and really listen, you show your child that their voice matters—and that you’re there no matter what. Behind every passing comment is a chance to connect more deeply.

Have you ever uncovered something serious behind a simple phrase your child said? Share your experience or insight in the comments to help other parents tune in, too.

8 Things Kids Do to Hide Their Bad Behavior from You

Catherine Reed

Here’s What You Should Do When Your Child Says “I Hate You”

May 29, 2025 | Leave a Comment

Hearing the words “I hate you” from your child can hit like a punch to the heart. It’s emotional, shocking, and sometimes downright painful—even when you know they don’t fully mean it. Kids are still learning how to handle big feelings, and sometimes those feelings come out in the most hurtful ways. But what matters most isn’t just what your child says—it’s how you respond when your child says “I hate you.” With the right tools, that painful moment can become an opportunity to teach emotional regulation, empathy, and connection.

1. Stay Calm—Even If You’re Hurting

It’s natural to feel defensive or hurt, but reacting emotionally can escalate the situation. When your child says “I hate you,” they’re often overwhelmed by frustration, not making a calculated attack. Meeting that moment with yelling or harsh punishment teaches them that big feelings should be met with bigger explosions. Instead, take a deep breath and ground yourself before responding. A calm tone sets the stage for a productive conversation once the storm passes.

2. Don’t Take the Words at Face Value

Kids don’t always have the language to express themselves properly, especially when they’re angry or disappointed. Saying “I hate you” might actually mean “I feel powerless,” “I’m disappointed,” or “I need help expressing myself.” Try to look past the words and see what’s really going on underneath. When your child says “I hate you,” it’s usually more about their own emotions than anything about you. Separating the words from the emotions can help you address the root issue more effectively.

3. Set Boundaries Around Hurtful Language

Even though it’s important to stay calm, that doesn’t mean you ignore the behavior. Let your child know that expressing anger is okay—but hurting people with words is not. Say something like, “I understand that you’re upset, but we don’t speak to each other like that in this family.” This teaches children how to communicate emotions without resorting to harmful language. Setting boundaries when your child says “I hate you” doesn’t make you cold—it shows you’re teaching respect.

4. Model Healthy Emotional Expression

Children often learn how to handle big emotions by watching how their parents manage theirs. If your child sees you responding to anger with calm words, reflection, or a cooling-off period, they’re more likely to mimic that behavior over time. Talk about your own feelings and model the words they can use: “I’m really frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a minute to breathe.” When your child says “I hate you,” they need guidance on how to say what they really mean in a healthier way.

5. Talk Later—Not in the Heat of the Moment

The middle of an outburst isn’t the time for a lecture or deep emotional processing. When things have calmed down, revisit the conversation gently. Ask what they were feeling when they said those words, and give them tools to better express those emotions next time. This shows that emotional outbursts don’t define the relationship—they’re just moments to learn from. Following up after your child says “I hate you” helps them feel safe and loved, even when they’ve made a mistake.

A Moment of Anger Doesn’t Define Your Bond

It’s easy to feel wounded when your child lashes out, but remember—kids are still figuring out how to handle life’s frustrations. When your child says “I hate you,” they’re often reaching for the most powerful words they know to express something they haven’t learned how to name. Your response helps shape how they handle conflict, communicate emotions, and repair relationships as they grow. With patience and love, those painful moments can become stepping stones to a stronger connection.

Has your child ever said something hurtful in the heat of the moment? How did you respond—and what did it teach you both? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Why “Being There” Is No Longer Enough as a Modern Parent

Catherine Reed

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