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Common Parenting Mistakes That Can Accidentally Scare Kids

May 30, 2025 | Leave a Comment

As parents, we all want what’s best for our children—but sometimes, the way we express concern or try to teach a lesson can backfire. Even well-meaning words or actions can leave kids feeling confused, anxious, or scared. Kids see the world very differently than adults do, and what seems like no big deal to you might feel overwhelming to them. Recognizing the common parenting mistakes that can accidentally scare kids is a key part of building trust, emotional security, and healthy communication. The good news? Once you know what to watch out for, small changes can make a big difference.

1. Using Scary Consequences to Gain Compliance

Threatening extreme punishments—like “I’ll leave you here!” or “The police will come get you if you don’t stop”—might seem like quick ways to stop bad behavior, but they can leave lasting fear. These types of warnings often go over a child’s head in logic but hit hard in emotion. Young children may believe your words literally, imagining worst-case scenarios that leave them anxious long after the moment has passed. This is one of the most common parenting mistakes because it often stems from panic or desperation. Instead of threats, aim for calm consequences that make sense and feel safe.

2. Yelling Without Explaining

It’s totally normal to lose your cool now and then—parenting is hard. But when yelling happens regularly or without explanation, it can leave kids feeling scared, confused, or even ashamed. Children, especially young ones, often don’t understand the “why” behind your frustration. Without a follow-up conversation to explain your emotions and what happened, they’re left to fill in the blanks—and that often leads to fear. One of the most common parenting mistakes is assuming kids understand your feelings just because they see them.

3. Talking About Adult Problems in Front of Them

Kids are excellent eavesdroppers—and not very good at context. Hearing arguments about money, work stress, or relationship issues can create anxiety they’re not equipped to process. They may take your stress personally or worry about problems they don’t understand. This is one of the common parenting mistakes that happens during car rides, phone calls, or kitchen conversations when we forget little ears are listening. Save adult conversations for when your child is truly out of earshot, and if they overhear, take time to clear up what they heard.

4. Using “Stranger Danger” Too Literally

Yes, teaching kids to be cautious is important—but going overboard with scary warnings about kidnappers or bad people can actually make them feel unsafe in everyday life. If you say things like “Never trust anyone” or “Everyone you don’t know is dangerous,” children may become overly fearful of public spaces or struggle with social situations. One of the more common parenting mistakes is confusing safety education with fear-based messaging. Instead, teach them specific skills like staying close, recognizing trusted adults, and what to do if they feel uncomfortable.

5. Overreacting to Injuries or Illness

It’s instinct to panic when your child gets hurt—but your reaction teaches them how serious the situation is. If you scream, gasp dramatically, or rush in with panic, your child is likely to feel frightened even if the injury is minor. While it’s important to take care of them, keeping your tone calm and your face reassuring can prevent extra fear. This is one of the most common parenting mistakes during everyday scrapes and sniffles. A composed response helps your child feel safe, even when they’re hurt.

6. Overloading with Information They’re Not Ready For

Whether it’s a scary news event or a heavy family topic, giving too much information at once can overwhelm young minds. Kids need age-appropriate answers to big questions, not a full rundown of every worst-case scenario. If they ask about something difficult, start small and offer gentle explanations, checking in to see what they already know or feel. Overexposure to frightening information is one of the more subtle common parenting mistakes—and it often comes from a desire to be honest. Honesty is important, but timing and tone matter just as much.

7. Dismissing Their Fears

When a child says they’re scared of the dark, thunder, or monsters under the bed, it’s tempting to laugh it off or say, “That’s silly.” But what feels silly to you is real and powerful to them. Telling them they’re wrong to be scared doesn’t make the fear go away—it just makes them feel alone in it. One of the most common parenting mistakes is trying to eliminate fear by downplaying it. Instead, validate their feelings and offer tools to help them feel safe and brave.

Small Shifts, Big Impact

Being a parent means learning as you go—and that includes learning which habits might accidentally harm more than help. The good news is, once you’re aware of the common parenting mistakes that can accidentally scare kids, you’re better equipped to avoid them. A little more empathy, a little more listening, and a little more patience go a long way. Kids don’t need perfect parents—they need present, responsive ones who make them feel safe even in hard moments.

Have you caught yourself making one of these parenting mistakes? What helped you shift your approach? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Catherine Reed

Catherine is a tech-savvy writer who has focused on the personal finance space for more than eight years. She has a Bachelor’s in Information Technology and enjoys showcasing how tech can simplify everyday personal finance tasks like budgeting, spending tracking, and planning for the future. Additionally, she’s explored the ins and outs of the world of side hustles and loves to share what she’s learned along the way. When she’s not working, you can find her relaxing at home in the Pacific Northwest with her two cats or enjoying a cup of coffee at her neighborhood cafe.

7 Reasons Your Kids Are Faking Illness to Avoid School (And What to Do About It)

May 17, 2025 | Leave a Comment

One minute, your child is getting dressed for school, and the next, they’re curled up on the couch with a “sore throat” that mysteriously vanishes by lunchtime. Sound familiar? While the occasional fake sick day might seem harmless, repeated attempts to dodge school are often a sign of something deeper. Kids rarely fake illness just to sleep in. There’s usually an emotional, social, or academic reason hiding beneath the sniffles and stomachaches.

As a parent, it’s important to recognize that school avoidance isn’t always about laziness or mischief. Kids may not have the language to explain what’s wrong, so their bodies do the talking instead. If your child keeps trying to skip school, it’s time to look past the thermometer and into the possible root causes. Here are seven common reasons kids pretend to be sick—and how to help them deal with what’s really going on.

1. They’re Struggling With Anxiety

School-related anxiety is more common than most parents realize. Whether it’s a fear of failure, social stress, or separation anxiety, many kids simply feel overwhelmed. Faking illness becomes their escape route when they don’t know how to express what they’re feeling. You might notice vague complaints like stomachaches or headaches that don’t match any actual symptoms. Talk to your child calmly and ask open-ended questions to uncover what might be making them feel anxious.

2. They’re Being Bullied

If your child is facing bullying at school, they may go to great lengths to avoid it, including pretending to be sick. Kids often feel embarrassed or afraid to talk about bullying, especially if they think it will make things worse. Instead, they fake an illness because it feels safer than asking for help. Look for patterns, like only complaining about being sick on specific days or when certain classes happen. Encourage honest conversations and reassure them that you’re there to protect and support them.

3. They’re Overwhelmed Academically

Falling behind in school can feel humiliating for kids, especially if they don’t want to disappoint their parents or teachers. If your child feels like they can’t keep up, pretending to be sick can offer temporary relief from the pressure. You might hear vague excuses about feeling tired, having a headache, or needing rest. Take some time to review their assignments, talk with their teachers, and see if they need academic support. Offering tutoring or adjusting expectations can reduce the pressure and build confidence.

4. They Feel Socially Isolated

Kids who don’t have strong friendships or feel excluded at school often dread the social aspect of the day more than the learning. The lunchroom, group work, or even recess can be a source of anxiety when they feel like they don’t belong. Rather than admitting they’re lonely, kids may claim to be sick to avoid those uncomfortable moments. If you suspect this is the case, explore ways to help your child build social connections. Clubs, extracurriculars, or even switching seating arrangements can help them feel more included.

5. They Need a Mental Health Break

Even kids can burn out. Children sometimes hit a wall between school, extracurriculars, homework, and social obligations and just need a day to decompress. While mental health days can be helpful in moderation, faking illness shouldn’t be the go-to method for getting one. If your child is regularly pretending to be sick, it may be a sign they’re overwhelmed and don’t know how to ask for rest. Be proactive by creating open dialogue around mental health and offering planned breaks when needed.

6. They’re Trying to Avoid a Specific Teacher or Class

Not all school avoidance is about peers—sometimes the stress comes from a teacher or subject that makes your child feel inadequate or uncomfortable. If they’re faking illness on days when they have math, gym, or another specific class, dig deeper. They might be feeling intimidated, bored, or embarrassed in that setting. Meeting with the teacher or requesting a classroom change can make a huge difference. You don’t need to solve every problem, but you can advocate for a healthier learning environment.

7. They’re Testing Boundaries

Sometimes, kids fake being sick simply to see what they can get away with. Maybe they had one successful sick day and realized it came with cartoons and snacks, so now it’s worth trying again. While this isn’t as serious as the other reasons, it still matters—because it points to a need for structure. Be compassionate, but firm. Explain that school is non-negotiable and that there are other, more honest ways to ask for attention or downtime.

When to Step In and How to Help

Repeated school avoidance is a red flag that something isn’t right. The key is to stay curious, not accusatory. Instead of jumping straight to discipline, start with empathy and conversation. Listen carefully, validate their feelings, and work together to identify the real problem. The goal isn’t just to get them back in the classroom. It’s to help them feel safe, supported, and ready to face whatever school throws their way.

Has your child ever faked being sick to avoid school? What helped you get to the root of it? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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7 Signs Your Kids Are Struggling With Anxiety You Keep Calling “Just a Phase”

May 17, 2025 | Leave a Comment

It’s easy to dismiss your child’s fears and stress as part of growing up. After all, every kid gets nervous, has a bad day, or suddenly hates going to school. But what if those behaviors aren’t fleeting quirks? What if that “phase” is actually something deeper and more serious? Anxiety in kids doesn’t always show up the way you’d expect, and overlooking the signs can make it harder for them to cope in the long run.

1. They Have Constant Complaints About Physical Ailments

Kids with anxiety often complain about headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue—especially before school, social events, or new situations. These symptoms are real, even if there’s no obvious illness. Anxiety triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response, which can manifest physically in children who don’t yet have the words to express emotional distress. If the complaints are frequent and seem to align with specific stressors, it’s worth a closer look. Don’t assume they’re just trying to skip math class—listen to what their body is trying to say.

2. They Avoid Things They Used to Enjoy

Has your child suddenly stopped wanting to go to birthday parties, play dates, or extracurricular activities they once loved? Avoidance is a big red flag when it comes to childhood anxiety. It’s not about being moody or growing out of interests—it’s about fear of the unknown or fear of failure. If your child withdraws from social or active environments, anxiety might be telling them it’s safer to stay home. Pay attention to patterns and triggers before writing it off as a passing phase.

3. They’re Overly Focused on Perfection

If your child melts down over small mistakes, tears up unfinished homework, or panics at the idea of getting something wrong, anxiety could be behind it. Perfectionism often masks a deeper fear of judgment or failure. While it may look like a strong work ethic on the surface, it can create constant inner pressure. These kids may work themselves into emotional exhaustion just trying to keep everything “just right.” When you see this behavior repeatedly, it’s more than personality—it’s a sign of internal struggle.

4. They Struggle to Sleep—Even When They’re Tired

Sleep issues are a common but often overlooked sign of childhood anxiety. Your child might have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up earlier than needed. They may also complain of bad dreams or nighttime fears that seem excessive or hard to soothe. This isn’t just about being afraid of the dark—it can be racing thoughts, worry about tomorrow, or fear they can’t even explain. If bedtime has become a nightly battle, anxiety may be at the root.

5. They Repeatedly Seek Reassurance

Asking the same questions over and over—Are you sure I’ll be okay? Will you pick me up on time? What if something bad happens?—can be a clear sign of anxiety. Kids with anxiety often feel unsure or unsafe and look to you to make things feel predictable. While reassurance can help temporarily, constant need for it means your child doesn’t trust their own ability to cope. Instead of brushing it off, recognize that they may be stuck in a cycle of worry they can’t easily break on their own.

6. They React Strongly to Transitions and Changes

Most kids like routine, but anxious children rely on it to feel stable. If your child panics when plans shift, struggles with transitions like starting school or moving classrooms, or becomes overwhelmed by small changes, they may be relying on routine as a shield. Their brains crave control and predictability, so unexpected changes can feel threatening. Frequent meltdowns or resistance around transitions shouldn’t be dismissed as stubbornness. Underneath the behavior is often fear and anxiety.

7. They Get Irritable or Angry Without Obvious Reason

Anxiety doesn’t always look like worry—it can look like yelling, snapping, or refusing to cooperate. Kids may not know how to express fear or unease, so it comes out as frustration. If your child seems more reactive, moody, or short-tempered than usual, especially in new or demanding situations, their behavior could be masking anxiety. What appears as defiance might actually be emotional overload. The key is to look past the reaction and ask what’s really driving it.

Seeing the Signs Is the First Step Toward Support

Childhood anxiety doesn’t always scream for attention—it often whispers through behavior, avoidance, and emotional shifts. The earlier you recognize the signs, the sooner you can help your child feel understood and supported. Trust your instincts, and don’t wait for things to “blow over.” Phases come and go, but unspoken anxiety tends to grow. Recognizing it isn’t labeling—it’s loving your child enough to see what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Have you ever mistaken signs of anxiety for something else? Share your experience in the comments—we learn better together.

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10 Mistakes Parents Make When Kids Are Dealing With Anxiety

May 12, 2025 | Leave a Comment

It’s tough to see your child worried, overwhelmed, or fearful. As a parent, the instinct is to fix things as quickly as possible. But anxiety doesn’t respond well to quick fixes—it needs understanding, patience, and the right tools. In trying to help, many well-meaning parents accidentally make things worse or teach their kids to fear anxiety itself. If your child is showing signs of stress, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do.
Let’s break down some of the most common mistakes parents make when supporting a child with anxiety—and how small changes can make a big difference in your child’s emotional well-being.

1. Minimizing Their Feelings

When a child says they’re anxious, it can be tempting to reassure them with “It’s not a big deal” or “You’re fine.” While meant to comfort, these responses can make children feel misunderstood or dismissed. Minimizing anxiety teaches kids to doubt their own feelings or feel guilty for expressing them. A better approach is validating the emotion: “I see that this is really hard for you right now.” Acknowledging the struggle builds trust and helps kids feel supported.

2. Trying to Eliminate All Anxiety

Every parent wants their child to be happy—but trying to remove all discomfort isn’t realistic or healthy. Anxiety is a normal part of life and can even be helpful in certain situations. When parents constantly intervene to erase anxiety triggers, children don’t learn how to cope. Shielding kids from anxiety robs them of the chance to build resilience. The goal isn’t to eliminate child anxiety—it’s to help kids manage it.

3. Offering Reassurance on Repeat

It’s natural to say “Don’t worry” or “Nothing bad will happen,” especially when your child is panicking. But repeated reassurance often feeds anxiety rather than calming it. Kids start depending on external comfort instead of learning internal coping strategies. This creates a loop where they seek constant validation before taking any action. Instead of repeated reassurance, encourage small steps toward confidence and self-regulation.

4. Avoiding All Triggers

Avoidance feels like the easiest path in the moment. If your child fears dogs, you might cross the street or skip playdates where pets are present. But avoiding anxiety triggers reinforces the belief that those fears are dangerous. Exposure—done gradually and supportively—is how kids learn that they can handle difficult situations. Avoidance might offer short-term peace, but it prolongs anxiety in the long run.

5. Rushing the Calm-Down Process

Watching your child struggle with anxiety is hard, and it’s natural to want to fix it fast. But pressuring them to calm down quickly can backfire. It sends the message that big feelings are unacceptable or inconvenient. Kids need space to feel, express, and work through their anxiety at their own pace. Stay close, stay calm, and let them know you’re there without rushing the process.

6. Letting Anxiety Run the Household

It starts with one skipped event, then another, until anxiety starts dictating your family’s routines. When a child’s fears shape everyone’s plans, it gives anxiety too much power. While it’s important to be empathetic, it’s also important to set healthy limits. Help your child participate in life, even when it feels scary. Structure and routine offer the stability that child anxiety often disrupts.

7. Labeling Your Child as “Anxious”

Describing your child as “the anxious one” can make that identity stick. While anxiety is a part of their experience, it doesn’t define them. Kids internalize the labels they hear, and calling them anxious may limit how they see themselves. Focus on their strengths and efforts instead: “You’re really brave for trying something new today.” Support their growth without boxing them in.

8. Getting Anxious Yourself

Children are incredibly perceptive and often mirror their parents’ emotional responses. If you react with worry or panic, your child’s anxiety can escalate. It’s important to model calm confidence, even if you’re nervous too. Your composure teaches kids that things are manageable, even when they feel tough. Practice your own self-regulation to better support your child’s emotional world.

9. Over-Scheduling Their Lives

A packed calendar might seem like a way to keep anxiety at bay through distraction, but it often creates more stress. Kids need downtime to decompress, especially those prone to anxious thoughts. When every minute is scheduled, they don’t have time to process or recharge. Balance is key—activities are great, but so is quiet time to rest and reflect. A slower pace can make space for emotional healing.

10. Skipping Professional Help

Many parents wait too long before seeking support, hoping the anxiety will go away on its own. But early intervention can prevent anxiety from becoming chronic. Therapy isn’t a last resort—it’s a proactive way to give kids tools that last a lifetime. There’s no shame in asking for help, especially when it comes to your child’s mental health. A licensed therapist can offer strategies tailored to your child’s needs.

You Don’t Have to Get It Perfect—You Just Have to Be Present

Supporting a child through anxiety isn’t about having all the right answers. It’s about being a steady, loving presence who listens, learns, and shows up. When parents shift from trying to fix anxiety to helping kids face it, incredible growth happens. Mistakes will happen, and that’s okay. What matters most is staying connected and moving forward—together.
Have you caught yourself making any of these common mistakes? What’s helped your family handle child anxiety more effectively? Let’s talk in the comments!

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10 Mistakes Parents Make When Kids Are Anxious

May 5, 2025 | Leave a Comment

When your child is anxious, your instinct as a parent is to make it go away as quickly as possible. You want to comfort them, fix it, and restore peace. But in trying to protect them from discomfort, many parents accidentally do the opposite. Instead of easing anxiety, they may unknowingly reinforce it.

Anxiety in kids isn’t always loud or obvious. It can look like avoidance, stomachaches, clinginess, or even anger. And if you’re not sure how to respond, it’s easy to fall into well-meaning patterns that don’t help long-term.

Here are 10 common mistakes parents make when their kids are anxious and what to do instead.

Mistake 1: Trying to Eliminate All Anxiety

It’s natural to want your child to feel calm and confident. But if your main goal is to make all anxiety disappear, you might be setting both of you up for failure. Anxiety is part of being human. Trying to erase it completely teaches kids it’s something to fear or avoid when, in reality, they need to learn how to live with it.

What helps more is teaching your child that anxiety is uncomfortable but not dangerous. It passes. It doesn’t have to control their choices.

Mistake 2: Avoiding All Triggers

It might feel like good parenting to let your child skip the birthday party, speech, or sleepover that makes them anxious. However, repeated avoidance teaches their brain that anxiety is solved by escape. Over time, their comfort zone shrinks, and their fear grows.

The better path is slow exposure. Encourage them to face small pieces of what scares them while you offer reassurance and celebrate progress.

Mistake 3: Reassuring Them Over and Over

You may find yourself saying, “You’ll be fine,” or “There’s nothing to worry about” more times than you can count. But constant reassurance often becomes a crutch. Instead of learning to tolerate uncertainty, your child becomes dependent on being told things are okay.

Eventually, you’ll need to shift from reassurance to coaching, helping them develop internal tools to manage their worries instead of always looking to you.

Mistake 4: Taking Over the Situation

When kids panic, it’s tempting to step in and fix everything—talk to the teacher, cancel the event, or handle the problem yourself. But doing this too often sends the message: “You can’t handle this on your own.”

Support them, yes. But don’t rush in too quickly. Let them take the lead when possible. Confidence builds not through success alone but through trying, failing, and trying again.

Mistake 5: Punishing the Behavior

Sometimes, anxiety comes out as defiance, tears, or tantrums. And when it disrupts routines, it’s easy to feel frustrated or think your child is just being difficult. However, punishing anxiety-based behavior without understanding its root can backfire.

Instead of discipline, your child likely needs empathy, structure, and tools to regulate their emotions.

Mistake 6: Labeling Them as “Shy” or “Dramatic”

Words stick. If a child constantly hears they’re “just shy” or “so sensitive,” they may begin to believe that’s all they are. Labels can unintentionally reinforce anxiety as part of their identity.

Try to describe behaviors, not define the person. “You’re feeling nervous about speaking in front of the class” is more helpful than “You’ve always been shy.”

Mistake 7: Not Managing Your Own Anxiety

Kids are deeply intuitive. If you’re visibly anxious about their anxiety, they’ll pick up on it. They might even feel responsible for your emotions, which adds pressure.

The best way to support an anxious child is to stay calm yourself. When they see you navigating stress with steadiness, it becomes a model they can follow.

Mistake 8: Expecting Them to “Just Get Over It”

Growth takes time. While it’s good to challenge your child, expecting instant change or pushing too hard can create more fear and shame. Kids need patience. They need space to move through anxiety at their own pace with encouragement, not pressure.

Consistent, gentle nudges forward tend to work better than frustrated commands to “just do it already.”

Mistake 9: Not Talking About What’s Going On

Some parents avoid discussing anxiety out of fear that it might make things worse. But silence can make kids feel more alone. It can also send the message that their fears are too big or too weird to be talked about.

Open, honest conversations at an age-appropriate level help normalize their experience. You’re not feeding the anxiety by talking about it. You’re showing them it’s okay to feel things and ask for help.

Mistake 10: Waiting Too Long to Get Support

Sometimes, parents wait until anxiety causes major disruption—missed school, physical symptoms, or isolation—before they seek help. But earlier intervention can prevent bigger struggles down the road.

There’s no shame in getting a therapist, counselor, or support group involved. Just like you’d get help for a broken arm, getting help for anxiety is a responsible, loving step—not a failure.

Raising an anxious child can be challenging, emotional, and sometimes overwhelming. But with the right tools and a little unlearning of common mistakes, you can create a space where your child feels safe, supported, and empowered to face their fears.

What’s one thing you’ve learned about supporting your child through anxiety that you wish more people knew?

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Riley Schnepf

Riley is an Arizona native with over nine years of writing experience. From personal finance to travel to digital marketing to pop culture, she’s written about everything under the sun. When she’s not writing, she’s spending her time outside, reading, or cuddling with her two corgis.